I thought I’d offer up a post about the kids today. I’m sad that our living situation has bounced around the way it has, and I can’t help but feeling that I haven’t done a good job of keeping them feeling safe and warm. Its been a challenge. Thankfully, where we are now is both safe and warm, as well as familiar, delicious, and quiet, so pretty much exactly what we all needed.

I wanted to share with you how they exhibit stress, because some of the ways, I didn’t know were real until I witnessed them in my children. Besides rocking some BIG feelings, and struggling with attitudes and general change, they have shown stress in surprising (to me, anyway) ways.

Dekker is itchy. ITCHY. We started dousing him in lotion daily when he wouldn’t stop complaining about it. He would reach as far behind himself as he could, but couldn’t seem to satisfy the scratchy spot. When we checked, he was scratching his spine red. I am pleased to say that since moving in with my parents, even just after a week or so, his itch has gone away. His skin looks great and he hasn’t mentioned it in a few days. I’m taking this to mean that his stress level is going down. Whew!

Laela has dry, cracking, chapped little lips. Poor little girl just picks at the flaps until her lips bleed. Now, I know this just sounds like dry conditions, but it started back at the last place and it is FINALLY settling back. She has only one red spot left on her lips where she has recently picked. I’m so relieved she’s on her way out of stress as well.

And Rowan. Poor Ro. His bum is just in shambles. Nothing in the way of his products has changed, but he has a bum rash like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve heard of this one before, that some kids exhibit their stress through diaper rash, but if you’ve read long enough, you know that Dekker had an awful yeast rash on his bum for an entire year, and that was the year before all of the struggles with his eyes began, so I wouldn’t attribute that rash to stress. But I would be willing to wager that Rowans is. It had its worst day a couple of days ago and appears to be on the upswing now. Poor kid, though. He’s sure been feeling it.

I wanted to record this for my sake, but also just to put out there that my kids are feeling better. Finally. Sometimes it helps to see physical symptoms change, rather than just attitudes. Its hard for me to know, sometimes, if they’re struggling with life a bit, or if they’re simply entering a new stage that we’ll navigate, regardless of our living situation. I’m relieved to have some answers, and also, that they are the answers I wanted! I am thrilled that my kids are feeling better. Brady and I are as well. Our sleep is more restful. We are comfortable here. We can’t stay for the duration of our build, but I am actively praying that our next rental will be THE place until our house is ready. I’m hoping it is exactly what we need, that everyone is comfortable, and that the kids especially can really settle in and enjoy. Feel free to pray for this with us.

March is a really busy month for weekends for us, yet we’re in a funny position now that we’re staying with my parents. Sundays are “normal,” whether we go to church or not. We’re here, spending the day with my parents, feeling relaxed and among friends. This is how Sunday usually goes, until recently, when we got sick and hermitted up. This is better, for sure.

With Brady having SUCH a busy week, we opted to stay home from church and spend some time together, just our family, while my parents did go to church. It was a nice quiet morning. When my parents did come home, we had pancakes and bacon for lunch. The kids watched a bit of tv and my parents actually left in the late afternoon to attend a birthday party. With them being gone so much, and me being SO tired and dozing on the couch, I can confirm that its been a very quiet and restful day.

Brady bathed the kids and we watched some Paw Patrol. Rowan is becoming the master of the stairs, and is able to back down them completely unassisted! Of course, we do assist him, and wouldn’t just send him down a flight on his own anytime soon, but he can back down the two steps into my parents living room all on his own. Very proud of him!

Laela struggled pretty hard through supper, but Dekker knocked it out of the park by helping me tidy toys up with a VERY positive attitude. We always tidy toys together in the evening before bed, but because I knew Laela was just completely at the end of her rope, I thought I would just do it as a gift to the kids. Lo and behold, Dekker offered to help, and had an amazing attitude about it! I praised him up and said I appreciated his help and his loving heart SO much, and he just soaked in that and kept working! He then lead the pack to bedtime with that positive attitude. I felt like he really jumped in to his role of “big brother” this evening. Love him.

The ‘rents have arrived and I’m ready to be done on the laptop for the moment, so I’m off! Tomorrow, Brady is off to work and hopefully we’ll have a low key day at home. Tuesday there is a bit more up, so first, we rest.

Brady and my dad arrived home mid-afternoon with a van and trailer load of our stuff from our previous rental. I am so relieved that the work is all done, and all of our stuff is moved. I have SO missed my husband this week. He has put in an exceptional amount of work moving us out, and I am completely thrilled that he can be home with us tomorrow. The move is done. Ish.

We still have to do a final walk through to confirm we get our security deposit back, but that will be it. Then, we will be onto the next thing!

I’m going to keep this post short, as its going up late, and I’m not feeling the greatest. My reflux is kicking my butt today, enough so that I’m crossing the border from Zantac into the land of prescription, and unfortunately, that hasn’t built up yet, so I’m just all refluxy. Also, this is the first day that the baby is hanging out in my ribs, which is neither helping my reflux, nor my ribs! Those two factors paired with fatigue are not ruining my day, but are making me ready for bed. So off I go! The kids went to sleep beautifully tonight for their dad, which I think all of them have been missing and anticipating. Its been a lovely day. Truly.

We had something of a reprieve today! Partly, it is because the fact that God’s love is new EVERY morning. He is the reason I have the strength to get up after days like yesterday. Secondly, being at my parents house means that my mom is around during the day often enough, and while I work very hard not to dump a bunch of child-minding jobs on her, she is happy to help and be an extra set of loving hands when she can see I’m getting overwhelmed. Pouring milk at the table, changing a diaper when both littles have pooped, putting boots on before outings, things like that. I appreciate her SO much. I also, have to thank Paw Patrol. My kids LOVE Paw Patrol, and we haven’t been able to watch a ton of tv the last little while. I admit, we watched a decent amount in our previous home. Then, when we moved to the rental, we watched considerably less, as their tv was actually a projector, and they didn’t much care to try and play in the dark. (My kids don’t often just sit and watch tv, they prefer to play and have it as background noise.) So we barely have watched tv in the last few months, which has gone smoother than I expected, but has also made for interesting challenges. Anyway, this afternoon, Paw Patrol saved the day.

We had breakfast, and then went on a Costco run with my mom. The kids each got their cookies, and they were SO fresh today that everyone left the store with a drooly chocolate beard. It was pretty adorable. After a totally successful outing, we drove back home and grabbed lunch. I gave the kids a smaller, snacky lunch, and my mom and I had egg rolls. I’ve never thought to have such a thing, but my mom occasionally cooks up an egg roll for lunch, so I tried it out, and it was a FABULOUS lunch option! I highly recommend them, with plum sauce. I decided not to nap the kids, and instead, we all watched Paw Patrol for a while. We all zoned out pretty nicely, and rested, and enjoyed.

When Brady was done his work day, the kids and I headed back into the city to meet him for an early supper. We met at a KFC where we all ate in the van and talked about our days. One day, Brady will be home again with us. I know this has been one week of the kids not seeing their dad too much, and I know people have work and harder circumstances, but I do NOT care for this setup whatsoever. I don’t know how people do it 🙁 Not our cup of tea. I’m anticipating next week!

The kids and I got home just as my parents were leaving for the evening, so we said “hi” and “bye” and went our separate ways. We watched a bit more Paw Patrol before it was time to tidy up and head to bed. I’m very very thankful that the kids didn’t nap because, by some miracle, they also didn’t sleep in the van! They ALWAYS sleep in the van if they haven’t napped. But they didn’t, so they went down for bed very easily. It was such a treat for me.

Now that they’re all tucked away, and I have the house to myself for a little bit longer anyway (not sure when everyone is heading back here) I’m going to watch a bit of YouTube. But first, a house picture, because I live too close not to check it all the time now.

I won’t go into big details, as todays post isn’t about the house (for the first time ever) but its looking SO good! I cried yesterday when Brady showed me pictures of how much of the roof was done. I still can’t believe this house is ours. It just hasn’t sunk in yet. We will actually be living here in the next few months!!! Exciting times!!!!!

It was one of those funny days that started out SO well. The kids were happy in the morning, I felt rested as well, mom was around to have breakfast with us, and everyone was in great spirits. We decided right after breakfast that we would even go for a short outing, all together.

The kids watched some Paw Patrol while we decided, and they stayed put while my mom and I got ready. We all loaded into the van for a nice drive in the country together to buy some sausage and fresh noodles. When we were back in town, we picked up a new diaper genie from Kim (you saved us from the stench!) and went to check the house. That was right around noon, so I’m not sure what the end end result was today, but the last I saw, all four walls of our master suite were up, and I could see through our big window that the interior walls were being done. I’m not sure what else they’ll do before the trusses and roof sheeting finally, but those things are close, and the weather is only helping them come faster!

When we got home, we had a yummy lunch and I put the kids down for a nap. Dekker was having a pretty snarky attitude and Laela was fading pretty fast. Long story short, Laela refused her nap again, woke Dekker, in turn everyone woke Rowan, and it was a complete crap shoot.

Sadly, the days events went down from there. I’m sure everyone can relate to the domino effect, whether you have kids or not. Regardless of what angle I took or what I did, everything seemed to explode at the seams. Dekker got in some real trouble right before supper, but to his credit, he tried really really hard to have a better mood once he got to the table. Laela, on the other hand, screamed when I asked her to take bites. She’d calm down enough that she wasn’t choking on her own spit, and I’d say “Ok, now take that bite” and she’d work right back up again. Over and over and over again. After I forced 3-4 bites into her, she relaxed and ate fine. Honestly, she was probably hungry, which was infuriating, but likely. She did manage to eat a decent amount by the end of things, but they probably sat at the table for about an hour, doddling and doddling. There are a few new stages that they’re going through, which is expected, but paired with them struggling through all of the change and transition in the last few months, and their current lives, it adds up into some pretty ugly times.

Sadly, now is an ugly time. I am feeling quite weak. I know I will feel a bit better when I have the help of my husband, but he is helping us in an ENORMOUS way these days!! We just don’t see him very much. Next week should be back to “normal,” whatever that is. I can’t wait for it.

The kids are in bed, praise the Lord, and I am stretched out in the living room. My second load of laundry is going into the dryer. I would not have chosen to make today laundry day, but it had to be done, so we do it with smiles on our faces, and with our mom close by, making sure we don’t crack under the pressure. (I love you, mom)

Brady is almost home, so I am finished for now. Time to rest.

This is going to be a strange week for us. Not only are we settling in to living at another new place, but Brady is gone into the evenings at our previous rental, cleaning and repacking us. Its a lot of work, and the kids don’t see him between him leaving work and them going to bed. Its hard, and they miss him.

Today, I was so thankful to have a play date lined up with Kim and her boys! I brought the kids and myself over in our jammies (because we’re super formal like that) and we spent a chunk of the morning and afternoon together. It was SO nice to be around friends, of course, but also to break up the day a bit and do something we don’t do every single day. Does that make sense? I sure hope so. I feel like I’m not articulating things well these days. I’m trying!

I dragged the kids to see the house three times to today!! Before going to Kims, on our way home after leaving Kims, and then once again later in the evening. Because our schedule with Brady sucks for the kids so badly, we headed into the city right after our day with Kims family and met Brady at a Wendys for supper. We ate in the van (obviously didn’t think the “going out in jammies” thing through) and chatted with Brady. It was SO good for the kids to see their daddy again. They miss him, and ask about him a lot in the day. Nice to get the whole fam together again. I won’t say they were hungry immediately upon arriving, but once they woke up, they ate well 😉

We checked the house on our way home from the city, so I could take pictures without the framers staring at me in my sweats. Of course, my phone is FULL and I could only muster one picture, so here’s a brief explanation of what I saw today without any real photographic evidence.

The trusses above the garage are up! The floor of our above-garage master suite is sheeted, and the walls have begun to go up! As you can see, both side walls and the back wall are on! Earlier in the day, I saw two other crews on site. One was installing the meter to read our electrical, and the other was there to dig and run some other electrical lines. I might not have the specific details, because I don’t know them, but it was exciting to see all of the reflective onesies and so many different crews getting their jobs done!

My dad is on the road for a day or two, and my mom was out with a friend this evening, so the kids and I had the house to ourselves, which was nice, but different. Feels weird to be at grandma and grandpa’s alone. BUT it worked out. The kids played, and watched some Paw Patrol, Rowan drank some milk, and they went to bed well.

Nine days out of ten, this is what their relationship looks like. She loves him so much, she can hardly handle herself. Its SO wonderful to see!! This particular event started as Laela watching Rowan as he climbed the stairs, making sure he didn’t fall. When he decided not to climb them this time, and sat back down on his haunches, she apparently overcome with gratitude that he stayed close to her. I love them.

This picture is actually a very special one to me. I know some of you will see it upside down and thats ok. Ro was all tucked into the chair, having his bottle, and for the first time EVER, he held his own bottle. I know, he’s a year old. He should probably be done on the bottle soon enough, and he’s only holding it now?? I know, I know, it seems behind. But consider the reflux issue. He has HATED his bottle for the majority of his life. This is an enormous milestone for us. Even if he never ever holds it again, I did not have to force this bottle, nor have I had to fight for a bottle for quite some time. But I am SO relieved that he is well again!

So today was good 🙂 I was nervous initially, but it was the perfect day, with the right number of events and just the right amount of busyness.

Thanks, everyone, for your care and concern about yesterdays post. Yes, we are moving again. I’m not going to go into any details whatsoever but I will say there is absolutely no ill will between us and the people who rented to us last! I like to think our relationship hasn’t suffered much at all, but that life circumstances happen, and sometimes plans just have to change 🙂 All is well on that home front.

I’ll also say that we have been inquiring about and viewing a number of places in the last couple of days alone. We have seen some great places, and then some others that we know just won’t suit our group. We’ve been turned down by a small handful of places due to the size of our family, but I’d rather that than go to an appointment and have it be painfully clear that we’re too many people right away. Why waste the time? Anyway, we have hope that there will be another place for us soon.

In the interim, though, its nice to be back at my parents. Its definitely an adjustment for all of us, as one would expect, but its a familiar place that the kids love, that Brady and I feel relaxed in, and that is within a two minute drive of our build!! Eek!

This is how it looked today!!! The back and front peaks are on, and all of the trusses that were stacked in front of the house are now up on top, ready for action!! I’m thinking they’ll happen tomorrow 😀 VERY exciting! I took this picture and a couple of others before getting back into my van and driving away. But I drove back almost immediately after noticing that the garage was really really dark.

This is why!!! Those will not only be the obvious, and hold up the roof, but they will also be the floor of the master suite!!! Eek!!!!! I cannot WAIT to see our room come together! I want to actually see it in person, walk around it, get excited to have a haven with a big closet and a kick-ass en suite. I am SO excited!

So Brady is working hard at the last house we lived in, the next rental is still up in the air, which is comforting, as that is precisely where my great God’s hands are, and the new build is looking mighty fine!! I still feel like we’re in limbo, because we are, but I feel like we are also very blessed, and well taken care of, even in our unbelief and in a time of such unpredictability. We’re going to make it. We are GOING to get to our home, and its going to be sooner than it feels, I just know it.

So much has changed recently, and its not a secret that we’re feeling overdone. I am SO thankful that Brady has had the days off that he has recently, but today, a bunch of things changed and reality hits again!

We’ve relocated to my parents place for the next little while. We just moved into their place today, and the kids are thrilled! Brady and I are so comfortable here, and its actually been interesting this evening, to see how differently we respond. I feel surprisingly upbeat and energized, while Brady is wiped right out. Its ok, though. We understand each other, and I think we’re working with each other’s differences 🙂

This morning was really busy. Laela had an eye appointment that she was incredibly uncooperative for, but once Dr. Rubab broke out the princesses and the tootsie rolls, we got enough information to know confidently that Laela does not have a prescription, and that her eyes are straight and working together!!! I’ll take it! Right after her appointment, we grabbed some lunch, and the kids ate while we drove back to our acreage. We put them down for a nap, and Brady and began the big process of organizing and packing up for the next little while.

We arrived at my parents around supper time, and my dad helped Brady unload the van. My mom served us an amazing supper of sweet and sour sausage on rice, and while the kids were skeptical (they love their food very plain) they both ate a good sized serving of the meal and then had some other sides without complaint. I think it kicked off our stay here very well!!

Tomorrow, life begins again, and Brady heads back to work. But we shall see how it all rolls out. I think he’s feeling ready to get back into the swing of things, and to a degree, I am too. We could really use some normalcy around here, and we haven’t had any in what feels like a very very long time. Hopefully our time here will help a little 🙂

Today was a very special Sunday. My parents shared the testimony of their marriage as the message in church, so obviously, we really wanted to go and support them in that. It was our first Sunday back in an incredibly long time, so it felt really really good to be back and see everyone. We were a minute or two late but lots of people were still arriving, and it wasn’t too terribly full, so the bench where we always used to seat ourselves was open and waiting. The kids are pretty out of practice with church, so they were chatty and we spent most of the morning shushing them, but the woman sitting in front of us was incredibly understanding and reassured us that she works with kids and that our kids whispers weren’t bothering her in the slightest.

After my parents shared, there was a time for anyone who cared to share to speak up and address the church. This is a lovely common practice that our church does every single week, where people can share exciting news, what they’re learning, or struggles and prayer requests. I stood up to share with everyone where we were and some of the things we’ve been struggling through, and let’s be honest. I blubbered through it. The congregation was SO supportive and responsive to the things I said, and Brady and I immediately felt encouraged and cared for.

After the service, not only did a large group of people come around my parents and pray with them, but many people came to Brady and I to offer information, encouragement, and prayers. Church is hard for us to get to these days, yet we felt surprisingly comfortable and relaxed being back, rather than stressed and kind of scattered like I expected to feel.

The whole day felt the same way. We felt comfortable, and rested. We haven’t spent time with my parents in WEEKS, which is completely out of the norm for us. The kids were thrilled to be back playing at their house, and Brady and I were SO happy to be spending the day again. It was a fabulous afternoon and evening of food and visiting and playing and reading stories and the kids showing off all of their new words and skills and telling all of their stories. It was wonderful, and we’re going back tomorrow!

Tomorrow evening, I mean. Laela has an eye doctor appointment tomorrow morning (just routine) and then we have a full afternoon. I’m SO thankful that Brady has had a few days off around this weekend, because we have a TON going on right now, which we’ll talk more about soon. Just continue to keep us in your prayers, if you’d like, and we’ll just keep swimming, just keep swimming…

Who is getting bored of my downer posts? *raises hand* I AM! Hopefully they are almost done for. We’re working hard for positivity over here, and I hope you can hear/see it soon!

I drove to Dollarama this morning to pick up a few things for the day. Some cleaning supplies, as well as a toy for each kid, as they all need pick me ups, and we rarely buy them toys or things like that when we’re out running errands. It was set up to be just a nice quick outing for myself, but it was set off by a serious of embarrassing dizzy spells that I could have done without. I will say that I was in control of the situation, as much as one can be. I didn’t wait to faint, but when I got super duper dizzy and was seeing black, I sat down, got myself together, before getting up and moving on again. Thoroughly embarrassing to sit down in the middle of an aisle, and then again right by the cashier, and then right outside the doors, but it was either that or fall flat on my face. I got everything in order and waited before driving home, but while laying in my van, trying to get blood where it needed to go, I was kind of sad as I realized that not one person offered to help me or asked if I was ok, even. I assure you, I was NOT doing this for attention. Not for a second. But it was weird that no one asked :/ C’mon, people. Help your fellow man when he falls. It may look like sitting down, but it might be a very gentle fall.

I made it home safe and spent a bit of time with the family before the kids napped and Brady and I rested up. We had a pretty anxious night, so we were feeling ragged and needed the rest. We got the kids up and headed out for a scheduled outing at 2:30. When we made it back from that, we gave the kids their toys, and I sat downstairs with them and we watched Paw Patrol while Brady did a bunch of cleaning that, unfortunately, I am not able to help with :/ He was a great sport about it, though, and did it happily while I dozed in and out of sleep, surrounded by my three kids whom I love more than life. This sickness has been a beast. I have never ever been this tired in my entire life.

We had a bit of a later supper before tucking the kids into bed. Now, Brady is making supper for us while I do this, and then most likely doze some more until its ready. I want to be stronger than this tomorrow, so we can actually go to church for the first time in a LONG time, and spend some time with my parents again. Its been a long time coming, and we don’t want to miss them again!!

Please don’t stop praying for us! We need a reprieve. Getting desperate over here.