I’d like to give Dekker a serious attaboy today. I know him better than anyone else does, and I can vouch that he is an exceptional person. He tends to be standoffish with new people, or really any people, though, and it sends a different message. I think a lot of people who don’t know him and see him in passing think he’s misbehaved, and he is not. He is sensitive, and gentle, and very loving. Today was one of those amazing days where it seems he’s forgotten to be grouchy, and he just rocks at all of those skills, first try. It was refreshing for everyone, even himself, and it showed as he did better and better as the day wore on.

We had waffles for brunch, and took it easy in the morning and early afternoon. We decided to make a trip to the city in the afternoon, not because we needed a lot of things, but the few things that we needed were important. Basically, one of my medications ran out, and I can’t be without it :/ So we made a quick plan and headed in.

We grabbed lunch at KFC and went to Superstore first. It was there that we snagged a new hoodie for Dekker that just happened to be very similar to the shirt I was wearing today – white with navy blue stripes. From that moment on, that kid was mine. He opted to forgo riding on the front of the cart, and instead he wanted to walk with me. He’d grab my hand, rub his cheek on it, and kiss it. If I had to let go of him for one reason or another, he’d very obviously smile at me and say “Ok mommy,” let me go, but then grab my hand back the moment it was free and ask “Did you miss me when you were away?” It was SO sweet! I tried to take a picture of us with our matching shirts, but he didn’t want to take selfies. He just wanted to snuggle.

We did Costco next, and it was relatively the same story. He just wanted to walk with me. He was sad when Solly gave up on his car seat and I had to carry him instead. But he handled his disappointment better than usual. He really wanted to walk with us rather than ride on the cart, and he was very obedient and stayed close. We always hold hands if he’s not on the cart, so this was a bit of an independence thing, and it went well! In both stores we went to, he addressed people who spoke to him politely and without reservation. He was VERY charming and well behaved the entire time!

When we got home, life as usual resumed and the kids played and ran around like always. But Rowan had barely napped at all in the van, and was therefore trashed and emotional and basically a hot mess. Laela wasn’t far behind him, and Solly was in need of some milk and a fresh bum. Usually, in those moments, Dekker cries. Because everyone else is crying, and its overwhelming. But he didn’t.

Me: Dekker, can you do me a favor?
Dekker: Of course!

Me: Dekker, do you think you could help Ro get his water bottle?
Dekker: I’d love to do that?

Laela: Dropped my toy!
Dekker: Want me to help you, little sweetie?

Laela: (wanders outside after my mom as she leaves the house)
Dekker: Honey, I can see you’re getting cold! Do you want to come back inside?

The. Entire. Evening. It was unreal! We praised him up the whole time, telling him how responsible he was being, and how great his attitude was, and it just pumped him up. At the end of the day, I could honestly tell him he had an AMAZING attitude ALL DAY, and I told him I was SO proud of him!! He just glowed with pride, and asked “Are you so proud of me that my shirt is the same color as yours?” I laughed and said I thought it was pretty cool. He suggested we wear our matching shirts forever 🙂

Toys were tidied without complaint, and when Laela got hurt and came to me crying, Dekker initiated a group hug for her. He also couldn’t keep his hands off of Solly, whether he was hugging him, wrapping him in his blanket, or putting his soother nearby. He was on top of the affection today!

Dekker gave me a soft, loving hug and kiss before bed. Not that I don’t love the hugs that are actually wrestling matches. Those are loaded with love too, I am positive. But today was a soft day for me and him. I caught myself once or twice correcting him a bit harder than I needed to, and in those moments, he would say “Oh, thats right, you’re right, I’m sorry. I got mixed up.” But he didn’t get worked up like he does when I get worked up. Funny how we play off of one another, hey? I wonder if we’d have more days like this if I changed my attitude too. Hmmm.

My hopeful plan from yesterday was shot in the foot very early on :/ I don’t know what happened with those doses I missed, but literally, I cut back ONE pill on purpose that afternoon and I could feel it by the next dose. Every four hours, I take medication. Every eight hours, its a bigger dose with a couple extra things in there. With removing ONE pill from the bigger dose, and the next dose being smaller and not as strong, I was in pretty good pain in the night. That paired with Solly not sleeping especially well was enough to knock me back to my original pain plan. I won’t lie. I’m really discouraged. I thought we were really onto something there. But now, I’m back to wondering how I’m going to know when to start weaning off, or when to even consider cutting back to see. Its an awful pain. The second I feel it, I’m a day behind in getting it back under control. Its a HUGE challenge that I was not expecting to have to deal with. Fun surprise.

Thankfully, we had a really nice day planned. We took our time getting up for the day, had cinnamon buns for breakfast, did a load of laundry, and took our time. We spent the afternoon at my parents place celebrating my nephews sixth birthday, which included ice cream cake, presents, a treasure hunt, etc. The kids were completely sugar buzzed for the majority of the day. They found some dance party kids show on Netflix to watch and jump around to, which seemed to wipe everyone out to a degree. We also learned, during the dance party, that Rowan has a pretty good twerk, and that Laela’s hair gets SUPER curly when she’s sweaty. I’d call it a successful day 🙂

Now, our exhausted kids are in bed, except Solly, who is having his wakeful time of the day. He had a really rough night, and then didn’t nap much in the afternoon at all. He fell asleep mid afternoon and slept through supper and into the evening. Now that he’s all caught up, he’ll have some wakeful time, which is actually pretty perfect. Maybe we’ll even get a stretch of sleep longer than two hours! Eek! How spoiled would we be??

Tomorrow is expected to be a quiet day at home. Likely a bit more laundry, maybe planning a bit of house stuff we want to get started on, and not a whole lot else. Quiet, playing, restful. I’m looking forward to it!

Happy weekend!

I really don’t care to take medicine if I don’t have to. Its not a big conviction, or that I feel its wrong or bad or harmful to me to take medicine, but plain and simply, I’m terrible at swallowing pills! If all medications were chewable or liquid, I’d probably be quicker to take something when I’m in pain. Even as a young teen, folded in half with menstrual cramps, I fought taking Advil until I absolutely couldn’t get it together anymore. I’d finally try to swallow those stupid things, and I’d gag and shiver and cry and it was pretty much worse than the cramps themselves :/ I’m just bad at meds, and I’ve come to accept it.

With this fun strained muscle I’ve been dealing with, I’ve been taking upwards of twenty seven pills in a day. No lie. Twenty seven. And that is what I’ve been considering “standard.” Every once in a while, I’ll take my dose, at the right time and everything, and it just doesn’t touch me. When that happens, I have two prescriptions that are “take as needed” medications. Depending on the time of day, and who I’m with, I make my choice, and take something extra. So you can imagine how much fun I’ve been having loading my body with pills over the last few weeks. None at all. Two upsides, though. One is that I’m getting much better at swallowing pills! And the other, more important, upside is that I’ve been relatively pain-free thanks to my medicine. Wednesday, while I was out shopping, I fell a half hour behind in my dose, and I felt it immediately. It made me wonder when this crappy pain would end, and how I would even know when to consider possibly weaning off of everything.

But something curious happened to me yesterday. While one of our guests was over, I missed a dose. And I didn’t notice until 3.5 hours later when it was just about time for the next dose! I was incredibly shocked! Not wanting to fall super far behind, I took my full dose of meds right away (just a little early), and I took the next one four hours later. Aaand then I slept through another dose that I was supposed to take in the night! And I didn’t notice that one until it was almost time for the next one!

While I would love to just throw my pills out the window right now, I think we all know how bad of a decision that would be. But it did give me some hope that healing is coming! So I did some math, and chatted with my mom on the phone about it all. I think now is the time to start weaning off of at least some of these meds! Very, very slowly. That way, if suddenly I’m wrong, and I’m not ready to be off yet, I can catch back up faster than if I just went off of everything cold turkey. The change I plan to implement over the next two days or so will only remove three pills from the current number I’m taking, but its a start. I’m sooo hesitant to start going off, because guys, this pain is pretty much unbelievable, and makes it VERY challenging to do much of anything. Forget laundry and unpacking boxes! What about lifting my new baby from his bouncy chair, or just being in a sitting position long enough to read someone a story? Almost impossible, no lie. This cannot get out of control again!

I feel like I should just specify that nothing that I’m taking is too crazy. All over the counter, except the stomach protector I’m taking to avoid the possibility of developing ulcers from – you guessed it! – taking too many pills! My “as needed” meds are stronger, but I’ve only had to use them a couple of times. Definitely not abusing anything, I promise!

This is kind of a weird, jumbled post, but I’m writing it because I feel HOPEFUL that there is an end in sight! I expected some postpartum discomfort, of course, because its reality, but I never expected something like this, and I am SO anticipating its departure from my life!

Cheers to taking twenty four pills every day rather than twenty seven, haha!

My morning went by fairly slowly, but not because of anything bad. I slept pretty well (thank you, Brady, for doing so much for Solly in the night!) and the kids were in good moods. They were polite and ate and played well. Everyone was happy and low key. I even tidied a teeeeeny bit in the early afternoon, which I have been itching to do. The funny thing about this muscle strain is that I’m not really supposed to do much at all. I have no specific “don’t lift more than x lbs” rules, per se, but the only time my meds even come close to lasting four hours is if I am doing almost nothing. Or actually nothing. So these days, I feed kids, snuggle them, help them, be as much of a mom as I can from a couch or chair, and when I really feel wild and crazy, I do the dishes. But otherwise, I see boxes that I can’t move around, laundry that I can’t do, and furniture that I can’t move around. Its making me a bit bonkers. But I’m trying to follow all of the rules!

So while I spent this morning sitting, I was really anticipating the rest of the day! My art teacher from high school sent me a message the other day, and said she had some questions about our new home. We made the plan for her to drop by to visit this afternoon! I haven’t seen her for about 4.5 years, when I dropped in at school to show baby Dekker off 🙂 It was SO nice to see her again, and to have her in my home. Though I realized later I never invited her to sit down!! Kicking myself over that now, lol, but maybe we’ll have another chance down the road to sit for a visit 😉 She brought us some desserty treats, and we talked about home building and school and family and where life has taken us over the last ten years. I kind of loved the dynamic. It felt like friends catching up.

Around supper time, a friend from church dropped by with a supper for us. Our church has really pulled out all of the stops for making us feel cared for in this crazy time, and we’ve had meals every other day for two full weeks. Tonight was our last one, and it was really quite perfect 🙂 She had asked a lot of questions in advance to make sure Dekker and Laela would like it, and she succeeded! The kids ate it without complaint, as did Brady and I, obviously. It was all delicious, and as per usual, we felt totally blessed and loved by it. We REALLY appreciate all of the effort you put in! We are SO lucky to have so many people taking part in welcoming Solly to the world!

Shortly after supper, Jerilee showed up for Bachelor night!! She had made a stop at M&M first, so we had some treats and dessert while we watched the Bachelorette. We started a bit later than usual, though, so we’re still not caught up all the way, and of course, we’re on a total cliffhanger! Its ok, though. Next weeks date is already in the planner 😉 It was a really nice wind down to the evening though. Good food, good company, and trashy tv.

I’m calling today 100% successful. I had a nice time with the kids, Brady came home at a good time, we caught up with friends, felt loved and supported, we rested, and ate SO MANY GOOD THINGS! Haha! It was a really great day 🙂 We feel SO much more at home here, and days like these are just so very special. Thank you, everyone who made today great <3

Today began earlier than usual after an already short night. Solly has developed the fabulous new skill of being awake for long periods of time, and he’s testing it out in the night, so Brady and I are feeling pretty zombie-esque today. But such is life with a new little one, and we are certainly grateful for him, so no one is complaining too much 😉 So Solomon and I took it slow leaving our room this morning. For a few minutes, I had him propped up against my legs, and the moment he “found” me, he broke out into big happy smiles!! I worked tirelessly to get a few more smiles out of him so I could get pictures, but no dice. In that moment, he just wanted them to be between he and I, which I can appreciate.

The kids woke up in shifts, so I spent most of the morning feeding someone. At first, this system drove me crazy, but its a nice slow pace which I’ve come to appreciate the few times its come around. With that, the boisterous playing starts gradually as well, and I can get into the swing of the day slowly.

In the afternoon, the kids ate and Rowan went down for a nap. Solly dozed a bit and I did dishes. As soon as I was done dishes, Solly wanted snuggles, so I spent a full hour with my feet up while he slept on my chest. Good for the soul, the strained muscle, and the baby. My brother dropped by to pick something up at one point. Its nice having him living locally, all of a sudden! We haven’t shared a town for probably almost ten years. Big event of the day! I washed my hair!!!!! Hahaha!! Guys, I’m convinced that, if I was open about how little I actually wash my hair, I’d have no friends left. No lie. (Consider that I have a soak just about every night! I’m not super filthy or anything. Just my hair is…) But I wash my hair rarely enough that its significant enough to put in the blog, haha! Aaaaanyway, that felt good. I even blow dried it, but being that I can’t do too many things for myself in a day, straightening it was out of the question. So its just huge. But I’m ok with that 🙂 Biggest event of the day was getting a picture of one of Sollys smiles!!

Now that Brady is home, my spontaneous afternoon plan is being put into action, and Kim and I are ducking into the city for a couple of hours to shop for a small list of things. Why would we both go in separately in the next few days if we could go in together, kid free?? So I’ll be heading off soon, but its been a nice, relaxed, hygienic, snuggly day. I really have loved every minute 🙂

I love our big front window. It provides beautiful light, and the kids and I take way more pictures together when we’re near it, haha! This morning, as Solly slept in his bouncy chair and Rowan played toys, Dekker and Laela both asked to come sit on my lap, and the selfies began.

 

After about twenty or so pictures, Dekker opted to go hang with Ro for a bit, and Laela lay across me like a baby. I snuggled her all up and we had some nice face time. She asked me if Bobby Baby was still in my tummy. If you missed it, we always have a nickname for our babies while they’re in utero, so our kids can call them something, and also partially to avoid calling the baby “it” more than we need to. And because we think its cute 🙂 When we were pregnant with Solomon, we named him Bobby Baby, because it was something that Laela could say (she wasn’t quite two when we found out we were pregnant, so her language was somewhat limited.) While none of the kids had questioned what happened to Bobby Baby when we brought Solly home, it was clear that was still a bit up in the air for Laela.

I explained to her that when Bobby Baby was born, he was actually baby Solly. She accepted that without argument, and then inquired about “another Bobby Baby.” That was how the conversation started.

I asked if she wanted another baby, and her and Dekker both answered “Ya!” right away. I asked them each what they wanted, and these are the answers I got. 

H: How many more babies do you think we should have?
D: I think maybe like four. Four boys only. Just boys.
H: Well, I don’t get to decide if the babies are boys or girls. Jesus decides, because He knows exactly what our family should look like.
D: Ok. But just boys. Remember what I said, mommy? *holds up four fingers* Four boys.

H: How many more babies would you like?
L: Two babies!
H: Boy babies or girl babies?
L: Boy babies and girl babies.
H: One boy and one girl baby?
L: One two three babies!
H: Oh, three? How many boys and how many girls?
L: One two three babies!
H: Ok wait, six babies? I don’t understand…
L: One two girl babies, and boy baby and girl baby!

Sooooo what I gathered from this is that both kids are open to more siblings, haha! Some of the rest of the info is still a little unclear, though. I’m thinking that Laela is voting for twins, but I can’t read that complex little mind, so who really knows. I know they’re little and their understanding isn’t the same as an adults understanding of the subject, but I am thrilled that they both jumped in joyfully to the conversation about more siblings, rather than getting upset at the mere possibility.

Open doors of communication rock my socks. So do my kids.

Our little Solomon is growing. We are quite confident he is right smack dab in the middle of a power growth spurt, though I’m not sure he’s stopped growing yet. This kid is seriously bulking up quick! But recently, his feedings are amping up like crazy! With that, however, he is VERY sleepy, and can’t seem to stay awake for his feedings. Therefore, he is up more in the nights, drinking less in each feeding. He’s getting more milk, but its all broken up because he is just SO pooped. This is a common thread with our kids. Especially Dekker, who he definitely takes after in bulk 😉 Our kids sleep through everything, including growth spurts, sickness, bad moods, etc. Its really nice for us, as their parents.

With Solly waking up a bit more often, Brady and I both feel a bit more tired than we did a week ago, but we’re more than fine. However, babiest boy (just specifying, since Ro is still a baby, lol) is a bit more tired than before as well. So today, all he wanted was to be snuggled.

Its really one of the best problems to have. At first, I kind of cringed, because I had actually woken up with a bit of motivation to do things around the house. I figured I’d let the kids play around my room for a bit so I could get some organizing done. Ok, let’s be honest. I figured I’d start the process of organizing our room. But with this kid not settling unless he was on me, there was no hope. BUT!, then I turned my cringe off and decided to snuggle that little Solly boy until his head was sweaty and my shirt was wrinkled because of it. To snuggle him and be able to hear him snore, as he sleeps deepest when he’s on me. To snuggle him and smell his head the whole entire time. My motivation to clean my room was nothing compared to fulfill my childrens desires to be close to me.

People like to tell me to enjoy snuggling my kids while they want to snuggle me, because they won’t want that forever. And I suppose thats a possibility. I still love to snuggle with my mom, as an almost 28 year old woman. Maybe thats just my personality, or maybe its the relationship that we have. I really can’t be sure, but I don’t see it stopping anytime soon. I know my kids may change their tune on the subject in the upcoming years, but I’m not going to count on it. I hope they always love to cuddle.

But they will not always sleep on me. I will not always be able to listen to them breathe so closely. I likely will not always be their literal soft place to fall. So while I can, I will put off cleaning for another day and hold my kids for hours.

Brady is officially a daddy to four kids this time around! Sadly, I don’t have any creative crafts to share with you, or even any cute pictures of Brady and all four kids. Its been a full day, though, and I feel like I can confidently say that the father of my children feels celebrated and loved. Brady has a special relationship with each of our kids, and I figured I’d touch on that in this post.

Dekker is SO interested in Bradys job! “How was your work day, daddy?” he often asks when Brady gets home. “What did you build?” Dekker probably knows more about Brady’s work than I do. He knows proper terms, names of tools, and since the house build, he notices everything. He knows a ton, and thats all been Brady. Another thing that Brady has passed on to Dekker is his work ethic. Obviously their capacities for hard work are a bit different at the moment, but Dekker loves to help, and is very happy to do whatever he can to keep things running smoothly. His daddy is not one who believes that the home needs to revolve around him, or that he is entitled to perfection, because he is the man of the house. And I’m THRILLED that Dekker is learning that from him. He will make a great husband for some lovely woman someday!

Laela and Brady have the token “father daughter” relationship that is very different from the boys. There is no sibling favoritism AT ALL, but its a different kind of bond. She is his little lady. Her “Peas, daddy?” gets her juuust about whatever she wants. Laela is a very busy little girl, but she will drop everything to sit on Brady’s lap and cuddle with him in silence. I know that one of Brady’s favorite interactions he has with Laela is when he first arrives home from work, she peeks through the spindles in our railing and squeaks “Hi daddy!” at him in the entrance. I am positive that Brady is the reason that Dekker calls Laela “little sweetie” when he speaks to her, because thats what Brady always calls her. I hope she learns that there are good men out there, just like her dad.

Rowan is VERY attached to Brady! The moment he gets home, Ro bursts into tears, and heads for him. Brady picks him up and all is right with the world again. Something special that Brady and Rowan share together is a bit more of a rough and tumble relationship. Ro is a tank, and I find it hard to juggle him too much anymore. He’s just really, really big!! Hanging him upside down or tossing him around doesn’t work much for us anymore, but Brady is still totally capable or manhandling him like that, haha, and he LOVES it! If Brady is every laying on the floor, Rowan takes that a a prime opportunity to wrestle. Its very sweet to watch them play together. I’m so glad Ro has a big strong daddy to rough house with.

Lastly, Brady and Solomon. Realistically, so far, everyone’s relationships with Solly are fairly practical, including Bradys. Brady is a diaper changer, bottle feeder, bum sniffer, swaddler, cuddler, medication administrator, etc. Brady is an experienced father, yet his bond with Solly is growing beautifully. He is so very gentle, yet not hesitant one bit. He is confident in his role, and I think babies can sense that. Beyond the practical side, though, Brady is an affectionate, soft, loving dad. He strikes up conversations with Solly, whether at home or in public. He gives him lots of kisses and nuzzles, and is a strong place for baby to sleep when lots is going on and the little guy just needs a soft place to fall.

Brady is really the ideal father for his children. We are completely blessed to have him leading our family.

So very happy I picked YOU to be my baby daddy 😉 Love you, Brady.

I don’t want to dwell too much on today. It was a pretty hard night for me (just myself, I can’t even blame Solly) followed by a very discouraging day. We decided to get out of the house for a couple of hours this afternoon, and that ended with having a cry on the drive home. Not my finest hour. I got home, and hopped into the tub for the next hour or so. It was so nice to have a break from some of my pain, though it all came back pretty much right when I got out :/ Its been a long day for me.

The high point, however, was Laela needing new shoes. Firstly, I had NO idea how different sizes can be from store to store!! When we bought her a little pair of Toms-style flats from Superstore, we were flabbergasted to learn she was wearing size 8! She is definitely on the petite side of things, and size 8 seemed a lot bigger than I expected. And now, suddenly, those shoes are SMALL on her! We can barely muscle them on. She hasn’t complained, but still, we knew we had to get her new shoes. So while we were out today, we took a look around for a new pair.

We found them at Walmart. They had a good selection of flats when we were originally looking for some for her, but had already purchased her the pair from Superstore. I remembered this, so I was hopeful that we’d find something cute. Now to touch on the size issue again, she had grown out of her size 8s, so we grabbed size 9, and they were MASSIVE on her! So were the 8s. The 7s were prefect 🙂 I had picked out a pair for her to try that were white with purple flowers and a velcro strap over top. But she picked these.

And she would not be shaken. Not that I tried very hard, if I’m being honest. These are hilarious, and loud, and they SCREAM “Kimmy Schmidt,” and I would have picked the exact same pair probably at a considerably older age when it would be less socially acceptable to wear such obnoxious shoes. But she loved them, and wore them through the store. We lifted her up to the cashier to pay for them, ripped the tags off, and she was happy.

I’m pretty sure it was more of a treat for me that she needed shoes than it was to her. It was definitely the highlight. Love that little girl.

Our little Solomon is 2.5 weeks old today. We went in for his two week check up with his doctors this afternoon. I was very much anticipating this appointment. I wanted to know his stats and check his health, I wanted to see his doctors and just catch up after his delivery and such, and I wanted to reassess the pain I’m having. Solly first, of course. Especially since this was very much his appointment and not mine. Mine is in a few more weeks.

Solly is growing VERY well! He weighs 11 lbs 5 oz now, so just about a full pound more than his birth weight. He is still 23″ tall and now that his head isn’t all shifty and squished from birth, its 1 cm larger than it was at birth, making it 39 cms. On all three growth charts, he is above the 97th percentile. We are very proud of our big little man! Our student doctor, Jasmin, laughed when I laid him on the table for her to check. She commented on how he didn’t even need to be weighed and measured, because he was clearly growing and thriving! He handled his check really well, and then flopped on me and snuggled while we waited for Dr. Guselle to come visit us too.

By the time Dr. Guselle joined us, 3/4 kids were getting pretty hands on, so Brady took everyone out to the van and I stayed back to chat with her about this silly pain I can’t seem to shake off. She had me lay down and do a couple of little exercises, and she observed that the muscle that was previously inflamed was no longer so. She said all of my abdominal muscles are back together and seeming strong, but that same area is hurting me more and more. I said the pain is spreading into my back, and at its worst, it goes all through my upper body. It makes me nauseous. And the medication that I’m taking isn’t working anymore 🙁 Its hard not to feel incredibly fed up, but we discussed a new plan, a change of meds, and physiotherapy. She gave me a couple of prescriptions and a requisition for an ultrasound if, in a week, there is no improvement and I want to get looked at further. But she and I are both pretty sure its a muscular thing, so we’ll see how our new plan works.

While she and I were talking, Jasmin came back in and joined the conversation, and it really just felt comfortable, almost like three friends trying to find a solution for one of the group. It was really really nice. They’re both exceptional women, and I liked chatting with them and hearing them make jokes and shoot the breeze, basically. It was a good end to the appointment.

So I would call today’s outing a big success! No, I didn’t get much done around the house today. Not even the things that needed doing. And I didn’t run any errands in the city while I was out. But it was still a good day 🙂 I have a new plan that will hopefully lead to some success! So if you’d like to pray for my pain to give up finally, and for that dang muscle to stop spasming, that would be fantastic.

I’ll leave you with this sleepy face.

Sleep well, all!