At the last minute, late last night, we invited my parents over for brunch. As per our new usual, we served up waffles, fruit, and coffee. Last time we had them over for waffles, we had breakfast sausage, but we forgot this time. Whoops! Its ok, no love lost, everything was still delicious. I LOVE the satisfaction of picking a good watermelon at the store 🙂

The morning was really nice. The food was good, as was the conversation, and there was a lot of activity with the kids having a fresh audience and lots of stories. Never a dull moment around here!

We discussed our plans for the day, and I’m willing to bet that my parents went home and accomplished at least a chunk of their list. We, however, did not! Hahaha! We had a good list of things we could do today, but nothing that we had to do today. We had talked about Brady running into the city to snag some materials that we couldn’t fit in the van yesterday. We had talked about cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms. We had talked about moving the furniture we want to paint into the garage and slapping the first coat of paint onto it. We had a reasonable list of things that we want to complete sooner than later, but nothing super pressing. And we did none of it!

What did we do? I booked a waxing appointment for Monday, and I ducked into the city to get the shaved side of my head re-shaved. I bought a new wallet. Brady re-arranged the garage so we’ll eventually have room to paint the furniture in there. He swept the floors. Thats about all we accomplished, but it was a really nice, relaxed day.

As the evening wound down, the kids wound up. Rowan cried from about 5:30 until 7:00. Solly had a burp we could not seem to get, so he cried more than usual as well. We’d pat his back, he’d fall asleep, we’d set him down, he’d burst out crying, we’d pick him up, and the cycle started over again. Thankfully, we FINALLY got that massive burp out as we were do diapers and jammies before bed. Now he’s settled. But besides the general din, supper of  chicken wraps really hit the spot for everyone, so at least we’re all well fed!

Solly is just bottlin’ with Brady, and he’ll be ready for bed soon too. And then I’m so anticipating a soak!! I’ve been fairly diligent with my meds today, but I’ve been a little bit late with the last couple of doses, and while I’m still trucking on, its kind of crazy how I feel. I don’t even feel it in that same spot anymore. I feel pressure in my chest and shoulders, and I feel nauseous. No good! But this week will hopefully be a week filled with answers! Until then, though, I will keep on keeping on with all of my medication and hot baths, and live my life the best I can. With joy.

At this stage of life, I hope I can say that everyone has learned that preconceived ideas hurt people. Most of you who read my posts regularly know that the stage of life I’m currently in is the one filled with new babies. Though I’ve had four babies, I know very little, and while the general population views me as an “experienced mother,” those of you who know me well know that I’m actually flying by the seat of my pants more often than not. That being said, the term “mommy wars” just breaks my heart. While I like to think I don’t participate in them and make a point not to judge other mothers and families, the “war” is on, and sometimes even those of us who try to stand back are involved in the controversy. What I mean to say is while I’m doing my best not to be involved, I often assume that people have a negative opinion about me and the way we’ve chosen to do life and build our family. While I try to stay neutral, I am indirectly thinking badly of people by assuming they are thinking badly of me. This is NOT fair to anyone.

I didn’t have any grand revelation today, by any means, but while we were out shopping this afternoon, I changed my tune a little bit. It isn’t even a question anymore that we draw attention when we go out. Not because the kids are crazy or acting out or running into people, but just because there are a lot of them, and they’re all little. So yes, people look. Their eyes widen. They count. And sometimes they count twice. Its hard to miss. But today, I noticed a lot of people regard our family, and smile at us. Not even making eye contact with us necessarily, but just smiling to themselves. And I loved that! I wondered how often people did that, but I miss it because I’m too busy on the defence, or trying to appear to have everything together. I consider myself a fairly friendly person, and I try to be approachable, but I know that when it comes to my family, I’m protective. So today, I made a specific point to smile at anyone who looked at our family and made eye contact with me. I didn’t care if they stared, wide eyed at the kids, or they smiled at them, or commented to their spouse, or whatever else. I just made a positive contact. And it was SO nice how many people actually smiled back!!! I didn’t know what I expected, beyond just feeling better myself, but it was really really nice!

We did a good grocery shop today, and then after supper, we stopped at Home Depot for a few things. Paint for some projects, and house numbers to replace the white piece of paper taped inside our front window 😉 When we went to pick up our paint from the counter, they had a question about one color, so it hadn’t been mixed up yet. They said they’d just quickly do that one for us right away, so we stood by the counter to wait. Laela noticed that the counter was vibrating, and asked me what was happening. I tried to describe the paint shaker under it, but the employee had one better, and invited Dekker and Laela back behind the counter with her to help. Dekker put the paint in the foam cover it wears, and Laela slipped it into the machine, and they watched it shake around for a minute. And I was SO pleased for that opportunity given to my kids! There was no judgement there at all! She was so warm and willing to include my kids! She left me, and I think everyone, feeling warm and fuzzy. From the paint counter, we went to check out, and as soon as we pulled up to the till, our cashier took one look at us, and said to the kids “You guys are SO lucky!” I wasn’t sure where she was going with it until she added on “You must love having so many brothers and sisters!” Once again, I was SO surprised! She ogled Solly while she rang our stuff through, and let Dekker scan an item or two along the way. She talked about how much she loved her sister, and how she thought siblings were just the best things you can give your kids. She was so genuine.

Walking out from Home Depot, I just felt really warm, and it had nothing to do with the weather. I think there has to be a way to love my family first, and to be protective of them, while still giving everyone else the benefit of the doubt. I’m not indifferent about how people feel towards me and my family. Of course, if someone outwardly said something rude or offensive, sure, it would sting, but I wonder how many people really think what we’re doing it bad enough to confront us about it. Probably not many. I didn’t see one judgemental look in our direction today, and maybe there were none, or maybe I didn’t see them because I wasn’t looking for them. Or maybe I smiled at them before they had a chance 😉

I don’t know why, but today felt wonderful! I feel VERY proud of the people in my family, and VERY confident in our decisions to build our family the way we have thus far. I pray that God protects this feeling so deep rooted in my heart.

Can we all drop our protective shields and judgemental spirits already, and call a truce on this mommy war?? Because I don’t like either side. I want everyone to win.

We had a nice relaxing day here at home. Did some dishes, played with the kids, Solly slept a ton, put some chicken in the slow cooker for an easy supper, and began organizing the whole mess of products we have towards the end of the afternoon. It was really really nice.

Once Brady was home, pretty much all of the kids joined the party in our en suite while Brady washed up and I sorted and planned and organized. As it got closer to supper time, I pulled up a chair and asked Dekker to help me. He dumped the last ingredient into the crock pot, and he and Laela took turns stirring it up. I have learned that including Dekker in the task at hand makes him much more inclined to cooperate later on. We just made a really easy, cheesy chicken on rice for supper. There is nothing to it, and its SO yummy. But its all stirred together, and Dekker liked his food plain and separated, if possible. He always fights this meal. And today, he ate it proudly! Two servings even. It was awesome! I’m so glad I’ve figured out how much pride he takes in his work. He’s so much like his dad.

Jerilee made it here towards the end of the kids supper, so she was part of bedtime this evening. Dishes were put away, toys were tidied, hugs and kisses given out, and everyone was down! Once it was quiet-ish, we grabbed ourselves some chicken and rice, and settled in for this weeks episode of the Bachelorette. We are so on the ball this time around, and only had the one episode to watch. We’re historically 2-3 episodes behind. So we ate, watched, and then had a nice visit afterwards before calling it a night. Jerilee leads a super busy life, and I always feel behind in what she’s up to, so today was great to finally hear about what is going on!!

As I type this, I know Brady is fading beside me, so thats all you get for tonight! Sleep deep, all! Tomorrow is Friiiiidaaaaay!!!

This crazy thing happened to me last night. I dozed off in bed, and woke up with Brady’s big face right in my face, eyes wide, mouth wearing the biggest dopey smile ever. I swear, he wasn’t even breathing.

“Did you fall asleep?” he asked.
“Shut up.”

So I NEVER fall asleep first. Not even ever. Not even with a fresh baby. Not even if I’m on a sleeping medication. Not after a super duper long active day when we’re all sick as dogs. I NEVER fall asleep first.

And last night, it happened. At 9:00pm.

I’m not sure what made me tired enough to fall asleep quite so early, but Brady and I welcomed the opportunity with open arms. It was SO nice to sleep so early! Even with Solly waking up once more than usual, we both felt much more rested, obviously.

Our play date today was cancelled on account of one of the littles in the other family being sick. All is well, though. We rescheduled on the spot, so I can anticipate it for next week 🙂 Wonderfully enough, I’ve made a handful of plans just today for the next week or so. I’m really looking forward to the days to come. I’m very annoyed with this silly pain still chasing me, but I’m going to try and see what happens if I just keep moving, even with some pain. Obviously not overdoing it, don’t worry mom 😉 but I’m starting to feel very low with this inability to do ANYTHING beyond keeping my kids alive. Its a blue place to be. So I’m making some plans, and feeling motivated! Woot! Hopefully I can actually get a few things accomplished soon.

As for the kids today…

As I was doing dishes this morning, Laela came and hung out at the island. I had daydreams of friends and family sitting at the island while I worked in the kitchen, but somehow, I hadn’t specifically pictured my kids sitting and being together with me, and I LOVE it!!! Regularly, Dekker and Laela sit here and play toys, or help me assemble food, with Rowan always underfoot. Of course, its all fun and games until someone tries to show affection to another…

Lol! You can’t win them all, I guess!

Dekker has consistently been a rockstar for the last couple of weeks! I feel like he’s changing and growing, and really becoming his own guy. Its been happening for a while now, but he’s really been shining as of late. When he starts to get a little irrational (we all do) he’s learned to recognize that he needs a bit of a break, and he comes back when he’s done. He often says “I’m still a little upset, and I still have tears, but I’ll give it a try.” What more can I ask for?? This morning, he has made a conscious effort to have a positive attitude, and to be as sweet as possible. I am LOVING this stage of life with him! (Don’t mind his dirty glasses. He’s four.)

Gosh! This kid is SUCH a stunner! He just cracks me up! We haven’t seen a ton of Rowan these days. He is teething pretty hard (looks like all four eye teeth are on their way!) and, as with all of my kids thus far, he sleeps through his discomfort. Its not like he cries and cries and I abandon him there to weep and wail until he falls asleep. He’ll cry and chew, and as soon as I lay him in his bed, he is quiet, and sleeps. So we miss this little mug. But its just for a time 🙂 And frankly, his way of dealing with pain is one of the best! So sleep on, Macduff! We’ll see you soon!

Mr. Solly Wolly was six weeks old yesterday, and I can honestly say that he has made life considerably richer. Yes, things have felt pretty crazy around here since he was born, and I have found myself overwhelmed and out of control at times. None of those feelings are based on this kid. He has not complicated things. He fits in beautifully. I have to say, I know this pictures isn’t the best of pictures. Off centre and a bit shadowy. But I was taking a few others, and then he smirked 🙂 Whether it looks like it or not, I know he was. So I had to use this one. He is incredibly beautiful, whether my camera work is or not.

So I’m spending today being enamoured with my kids. Productivity can start tomorrow. Or the next day.

We had Kim and her boys over for the day today. Kim and I have had a handful of dates over the last few weeks, but neither of us have seen much of each others kids. Today was the day, and it was really really nice to be all together again.

They came mid morning, and the kids explored the house and played flashlight tag while Kim and I drank lattes and visited in the living room. It was that way until Rowan had an epic meltdown and went down for his nap. Then playing got a bit quieter and we started lunch. A good handful of grilled cheese sandwiches, cucumbers, and apples later, everyone was fed and ready for some rest. Therefore, toys were tidied up a bit and Netflix offered some peace. It was nice and cozy. It had been far too long since we all played together, and these rainy days are great days for dates.

The four of them left shortly after 2:00, and I sat for a few minutes with my kids in the living room. I remembered then that I had missed a call from my mom earlier than day, so I called her back, and we decided that instead of sitting on the phone, we should visit in person. So I convinced her to come over, even just for a short visit.

That was also a really nice visit! She came bearing cookies, played downstairs a bit with the big kids, held Solly while he slept a little, and we chatted about the upcoming events of summer. Nothing pressing, but all very important 😉 Brady got home around 4:30-ish and my mom headed home soon after.

Our evening has played out nicely, and everyone is tucked away in bed, minus Solly, who is working on his evening milkshake.

Tomorrow we’re off to another playdate! It should be really fun 🙂 New people to the kids, which is always a bit scary for the kids, but Dekker will be meeting another boy he’ll go to kindergarten with! Its time to get as many of those playdates in as possible! I’m really looking forward to it, honestly. I happen to be a superfan of this family, though we haven’t been in contact in several years, as tends to happen when both families have four kids! Should be a really nice time.

I feel like these kinds of dates are some of the best ways to spend these rainy days 🙂 Friends make everything better.

Last night, Solomon slept SO WELL! He went down shortly before 8:00pm, and when he often wakes up around midnight, it was 2:30 before he made a peep! He drank a nice big bottle and didn’t wake again until 8:00am. It was pretty awesome; I am truly thrilled with how well he slept. However, with him sleeping with so few wakeful times, I slept through a lot of medication :/ As soon as I woke up, I took my “superdose,” while Solly was still fussing in his bed. I knew I had to get on it fast. Not that I should have had to get on it super fast, as I took medicine at 2:30, but such is life. So I took my medicine, and fed Solly his breakfast. Then, we got the rest of the crew up and began the day.

If you’re around here, you’ll know that its been very grey and and windy and rainy today. Those days are always very quiet around here. Quiet in a good way, though. Currently, the two littler boys are napping, Dekker is building links, and Laela is playing with cars on the table beside me. While I diligently took my next dose of medication at noon, it was within an hour that my pain began. We’re two hours post-meds right now and its definitely not letting up. I’ve heard that the best thing I can do for it is to lie flat on my back, but that is not an option right now. So rather, I’m choosing to sit at the table with VERY good posture, and spend some time like that. Until Ro and Solly wake up, anyway.

While I sit here, I’m keeping busy with some online shopping, daydreaming about Ikea, and everything we’ll be able to snag when we finally get there 🙂 I’m also researching what we should buy with all of or credit card points. And what we need to organize all of the drawers in our house.

Lots of planning and organizing in my head, while my chest just aches and I get dizzier. Normally, on days like this, Brady comes home and lifts a lot of the pressure off by sending me off to lay in bed. But I’m just hearing now that he took a good fall at work today and will be coming home early, all achy himself. So it should be an interesting evening!!

Wish us luck!

I love a good storm. Right as we were leaving my parents this evening, it started to come down HARD! It momentarily petered out just in time to get the kids out to the van, so we ran them out and drove home. Once we were parked in the garage, there was another good downpour. We got everyone in and to bed, and I headed to our room to crank all of the windows open. I love listening to the sound of rain. Now not that I can’t know what the future holds, but it is definitely not raining anymore, and I don’t know if it will :/ Not tonight anyway. I know we’re forecasted for a ton of rain in the next few days! Like flooding levels of rain. But yikes, how I LOVE falling asleep to the sound of rain! Bah!

Today wasn’t particularly eventful. We had a really early start with Solly, and he was pretty unsettled for most of the day. Through the morning, we did dishes, a load of laundry, dishes, etc. I went upstairs after a while to continue the forever humungous project of sorting through products and trying to make our en suite vanity/makeup desk area what I want it to be. It didn’t take long before the whole family joined me in our en suite. Good thing its such a good size! I sorted and planned and didn’t really accomplish much beyond noting a few things I need to buy from Dollarama to make it a tad more functional. Who gets anything done in a small room filled with children? Eventually, Brady hauled them all down and bathed them. I brushed their hair and got them dressed.

We spent the afternoon and early evening with my parents. It was a pretty quiet day, which was nice. Lots of visiting while the kids played, lots of yummy food, nice stretches of naps, etc. The kids didn’t ask for tv once, which was a first! They love the routine involving a bit of tv after lunch, so they were obviously enjoying being at grandma and grandpas house.

Now, everyone is home and asleep. The bath is run, and I’m thinking its time for a snack. Perhaps nachos. Its always a good day for nachos.

One of the big opinions about large families is that they count on their older kids to raise their younger kids. It may be so in some cases, and I certainly don’t want to open up a forum for conflict. I know there are  a lot of opinions out there. I have opinions too. But its my blog 😉 So I can share all of the opinions I want!

In my opinion, we are not one of these families.

I don’t think any family would willingly say that they counted on their older kids to raise their younger ones. So maybe you can just take my word for it. We’re not that family. I will admit that our kids do things to help around here, and some of that involves getting diapers, throwing them away, retrieving blankets, soothers, burp pads, etc. In that way, the older ones help with the younger ones. In my opinion, that is part of sharing a house with someone. You help each other out. I was the youngest in my family, and I had plenty to do that involved helping my siblings out. We are simply teaching our kids not to be selfish, and to think of others.

During breakfast this morning, the kids were eating and Brady and I were doing dishes and getting the house tidied up a little bit. After a while, I heard Solly start to fuss in his bouncy chair beside the table. He wasn’t crying or too terribly upset, so I didn’t head over right away. He often gets over that kind of thing really quickly, and he did this time as well, within a minute or two. When I finally did look up from the dishes, I saw that Dekker had pulled Sollys bouncy chair right up to his dining chair, and he was ever so gently bouncing it with his foot. While he ate breakfast, he had consoled Solomon, all on his own.

Now, some may say this is our big kids having to care for our little kids, and how unfair is that? That a four year old would have that responsibility, to console the crying baby. But he didn’t! It was natural for him! He saw a need, and he met it in an act of love. He was not forced, bribed, or even asked.

How crazy to think that sometimes people do nice things for others because *gasp* they want to!!

I am so very proud of my kids, and the love they have, and show, for one another!

I wouldn’t dream of rushing them to grow up.

Oh, darlings, don’t you ever grow up, just stay this little…

I chose to celebrate my lack of ultrasound results with a change in my medication schedule. Its not as dumb of an idea as it sounds. I think its very important that I try, once in a while, to ween off, or change up, and see if my pain is still as bad as it was. When a doctor/nurse/tech asks me a question, I should know the answer, where I’ve been giving a lot of “I don’t know, I’m on medication” answers. Do you have reflux with the pain? Does it come and go? What makes it better or worse? I don’t know, I’m on medication.

I tried a couple of weeks ago to simply ween off of three pills. Just three. And it was a fail. Today, I technically took less pills, but the main goal was to space my doses out a little bit further and see how my body handled it. Rather than taking pills every four hours, I did it every six. I combined things differently (all TOTALLY SAFE combinations, like I’ve said, nothing is too strong) so my dose was slightly larger than before, but I was waiting longer between doses. Meds at midnight, 6:00am, and noon today. At 3:30, I started to feel that pressure in my abdomen which is my sign that I’m behind. It wasn’t excruciating by any means. It was just the beginning of it. I told myself I would reassess at 4:00 and likely take at least some Tylenol then. But by 4:00, I was completely nauseous, and my head was pounding. I don’t even know if my muscle still hurt, but everything else about me felt like complete garbage.

So this post is a little downtrodden, because I am. Brady came home and gave me my meds, as I was trapped under a sleeping baby and didn’t want to disturb him. But I did anyway, and am now upstairs, in our room, laying flat on my back, which is the only thing I’ve heard that could possibly help my pain at this point. Apparently even just sitting in a chair is using the muscle thats angry because its holding my head up. Assuming its an angry muscle at all. Ugh.

All things considered, I’m glad I tried this today. Its the best time for it. I’ll be all caught up for Saturday, and we have nothing planned this evening. So if I spend this evening in bed, I do. I hope not to! I hope to catch up. But I’m feeling pretty ridiculous, and I can’t take more medicine until 8:00. So wish me luck. Or wish Brady luck. Thats probably smarter.

I was just telling Brady that my least favorite part of blogging is making up titles. I actually really enjoy blogging! But often enough, I’ll title my blog, and it informs me that I’ve used that title before. I’m allowed to use it again, its not a big deal, but it drives me bonkers. About 1500 posts into this, I am running out of ideas! Hahaha! So forgive me. This post is just me talking about my day, like always.

Today was the first day this week that I didn’t have anything planned. I wasn’t put off by it at all, though. I figured I’d try to be productive, with emphasis on the word “try.” As I’ve said, it seems like any amount of physical exertion escalates my muscle pain, so beyond dishes and child minding, I don’t do too much these days. But life has to go on, and things need to get done! So I got the kids up and eating while I sorted laundry and put in the first load. Then I started on dishes, and realized that I had forgotten to run the dishwasher last night. So I loaded all of five things into it and ran it. There was no way I was washing everything left by hand, so I stacked it up nicely to complete later.

It was pretty soon after that when my mom called. I had emailed her yesterday and invited her over for lunch, and she had called to make a plan for the afternoon. I finally convinced her to come for lunch! Thank goodness we have the relationship we have, because I still could do laundry and a few other little things while she was around. She even helped with my chores, haha! Honestly, though, I didn’t get a ton done because Solly was SO unsettled today! He has great days where he’ll lay around, wide awake, and watch the world around him. Today, he just wanted to sleep, but never comfortably, it seemed. Poor kid just couldn’t get it together today, but I sure know that feeling, so I can’t fault him for it 😉

We had leftover chicken wrap stuff, just in salad form, for lunch, and had a nice visit into the afternoon. It was after lunch that I finally got a call from someone at my doctors office with my ultrasound results. They came back normal. Ugh. I was (and continue to be) so disappointed. No, I don’t want to have some big problem in there, but I’m frustrated about not knowing whats going on and therefore not knowing what direction to take. My physio will begin on the 18th, so I’ll anticipate that, but at 5.5 weeks postpartum, I’m pretty frustrated at the stage of pain I’m in unless I’m heavily medicated. Somethings got to give. Hopefully it will soon. But that was a piece of discouraging news today anyway :/ Keep praying, if you feel so inclined.

Brady came home at a good time, bearing iced coffee for me. It was delicious. We made macaroni and wieners for supper, which sounds awful but filled tummies and made everyone happy. Anything one can squirt ketchup on is a big win around here with the kids. So everyone was in good shape going into bedtime.

Three out of four are down for the night, Solly is close behind, and I am so anticipating a soak in the tub!! I did end up getting that second load of dishes in, and I finished the laundry! It was a very productive day, even if it sounds small to you guys. I feel accomplished. And I’ve earned my soak! And a snack…