We’ll keep today’s post short and sick. I mean sweet.

I figure, when I’m tired of hearing myself complain about feeling sick, you guys probably are. I’ve gone from a painful, illness ridden pregnancy into a very difficult and painful recovery, and now, less than a week into feeling somewhat well again, I have a cold. And I’ve taken you guys along with me! I work hard not to be a downer, but the struggle is real.

Today was the day of the cold where my body ached like there was no tomorrow. My legs felt like they were going to fall off if I moved them, or even if I stayed still. My back and head were also feeling it. I’m SO thankful that my two older kids stay relatively chipper throughout the day. You wouldn’t know they were sick if you didn’t see their red chapped faces. Rowan woke up super hard, had about an hour of happy time, and then was ready for bed. Like more than ready. As in I mentioned “bed” and he toddled off to his room. I followed him when he didn’t resurface, and he was sitting beside his crib, waiting for me. Solly spent the majority of the day sleeping, like yesterday. He’s not snotty, but when he cries, his voice is so hoarse. Thanks to all of his mucus, he’s also having trouble getting his milk to stay down. Poor kid is suffering.

Soooo that’s all you get. Haha! I don’t want to talk about being sick anymore, but that’s pretty much all I have to share today. Wish us luck! We NEED to be better by the weekend!

Remember how I said the the kids were super tired from church and being out in the afternoon yesterday? They were kind of irritable. I was in pain. We were all trying hard, but it was a bit iffy for the rest of the day.

This morning, it was all explained. 5/6 of us are sick. SICK. Rowan had been up in the night, which never happens anymore. As in it he’s been sleeping thru the night for maybe six months. Last night, he woke up bawling around 2:00am. I went to him and tried to snuggle him. He wouldn’t lean into me. I brought him some water but he wouldn’t drink. I went to hand him his cuddly blanket and it was soaked. Weather it was saliva, tears, whatever, it was soaked from corner to corner. I got him a fresh blanket, and then he leaned in and cuddled. I lay him down and he slept for the rest of the night.

I got the kids up pretty late, because I woke up feeling like total trash. So did Solly. When we did finally drag ourselves out of bed, Laela and Dekker were awake and both seemed pretty cheerful. Rowan was still out, so we left him in there and got breakfast on the table while Solly dozed off in the bouncy chair.

The next few hours were spent wiping noses. Thats it. Well, wait. Thats not true. We painted nails.

These were the happiest snot faucets in this world, haha!, however briefly. They were pretty much zombies at this point so they easily sat still and weren’t too fidgety.

Why isn’t Rowan participating? Besides the fact that he’s one year old and would NOT have sat for it, he was sleeping. Still. He slept until 1:00pm. No lie. When he did finally wake up, he seemed somewhat refreshed. I offered him a banana and he agreed to get out of bed.

He ate maybe half of the plate worth of food, so not too much, but he drank a good amount, and wanted to go play. He was a snot faucet like his siblings, so I made my first ever attempt with him to combat the snot-in-hair predicament with a ponytail. How have I waited so long?!?!

He’s still a little wispy, but very very cute.

He was good to go until around 3:00. He started to get really hard to figure out, when he’s usually a pretty clear communicator. I asked him if he wanted to go to sleep, and he burst out crying and came at me, arms up and waving. So I put him to bed and he slept until 4:45, when Brady finally woke him up in hopes that he’d still sleep at night. I know, I know, never wake a sleeping baby. But we’re doing our best here.

The only picture I have of Solly is a selfie of he and I.

This is what he looked like pretty much all day. He slept pretty much non-stop, and when he did wake up, he would cry and cry and screech, obviously very uncomfortable and unhappy.

This all just came on us last night/this morning. If you’d like to pray for us, PLEASE DO! Brady still feels 100%, and we hope and pray he stays that way! We have an important weekend coming up as well, so we would really love to be better before then! So I say again, pray and root for us, if you’d like to. I feel like we all carry certain anxiety about illness at this point, remembering that awful six weeks of illness earlier in the year. Don’t even want to go there. *shivers*

We FINALLY made it to church this morning! We’ve been waiting and wanting to go for a while now, and there is always a reason not to. Some are valid and some are not. But it was honestly SO nice to go back and see everyone and just be in that environment again. People were so happy to meet Solly, and everyone was very gracious and understanding about us not being in attendance for a while. Many people related back to the times when they took breaks from church because their lives were just too chaotic and busy. It felt really nice to have people understand and not judge. A lovely group we have at our church.

After church, we went to my parents house for a wiener roast with the whole gang. It was nice to be out in the sun, roasting hot dogs over the fire, while the kids played and sweated and had fun. A ways into it, Laela asked to come inside, so Solly and I went with her. The rest of the group followed soon after, and the little nappers woke up soon after that as well. Eventually Netflix was turned on so everyone could have a brain break.

We left around 3:30. We often spend the whole day, but since we did church for the first time in quite a while, the kids were very tired, and my body was feeling it! I’ve been off of my crazy med regimen for a few days now, but that doesn’t mean I’m pain free. And by the time we left, I was feeling it.

I’m so thankful for the supportive husband that I have, because right now, I’m regrouping. He has all of the kids in the living room, and I’m upstairs in bed. As soon as I got home, I came up here, closed the door, and made my changes. I took Tylenol, first and foremost. Definitely not a failure, or even a drawback, but my body needs some outside help. I took my bra off, and let my hair down. Nothing tight right now. And I’m laying in bed in that butterfly position that I mentioned a day or two ago. Trying to be as relaxed and released as possible. Not because I’m in excruciating pain, but because I don’t want to be. And hey, its a good excuse to day blog!

Since Solly has been born, I’ve been taking medication pretty much constantly to keep my pain under control. Its not a secret. Sometimes, even on medication, its been very out of control. Its not been easy being in pain for so long. I’ve tried a handful of times to change my doses up, or spread them out a little bit, but after a few hours, I’m usually paying dearly for my attempt. The days that I tried to make changes, I spent the evenings laying flat on my back in bed, waiting for my codeine to kick in. But those days were important, because I needed to know where my pain levels were sitting. I’ve felt so much anxiety about taking so many pills, and not knowing when to stop, but not feeling brave enough to try to ween off, and having fear about being in pain again. Like I said, its hard to be in pain for so long. I know my pain is nothing compared to what others go through, but I have definitely been struggling.

I had my physio appointment on Monday, and I saw Dr. Guselle on Thursday. Both appointments were very encouraging in several ways. Neither doctor was pushy about going off of my meds, but both were very hopeful that I could be off of them soon, and that this wouldn’t have to be something that worsened over time. There is a lot to say about those appointments, but it would get all jumbled up on a blog post, so just trust me. I feel very hopeful, for lots of reasons.

So I did a ballsy thing yesterday. I didn’t take anything. No pills. Zero. All. Day. I didn’t tell anyone.

I know. It wasn’t the smartest move. If it went back, I would be in ROUGH shape. It would take a LONG time to get back on track. But you guys have to understand. I am SO fed up with all of this garbage. My doctor and physiotherapist made me feel invincible. Probably more invincible that I should have felt, but so be it. I went for it.

I had moments of pain throughout the day, but when those moments came, I took stock of my body, and relaxed the muscles that I had tensed up unnecessarily. I also do a lot of swaying back and fourth, just in another effort to loosen up a bit. If nothing else, they would distract me momentarily, and I would keep being busy.

To round the day up, I would say that while it was not the most comfortable I’ve ever been, it was a VERY reasonable day. Reasonable enough that I didn’t take any pills today either!

Ok, thats a lie. Hold on. I took Tylenol first thing this morning because I woke up with a headache. I could tell that I had clenched my teeth through the night, which I think is probably because my body is still in pain and a bit stressed out. But I went from 27 pills per day to the two I took this morning! I call that a HUGE success! And you guys probably do too, because you won’t have to hear me weep and wail about it as much anymore, lol! Woot!

Thank you Lord for freeing me of this ridiculous life-changing pain! You certainly know just how much I can take!

All this week, I was anticipating Thursday, because I was eager to talk to my doctor. Its always nice to have the all-clear postpartum for me, to hear that Solly is thriving, and to just catch back up in general. Since that was all yesterday, I didn’t have too much on my plate for today. The one event on the calendar was a Bachelorette date with Jerilee in the evening. That is always a really lovely, low key date filled with trashy tv, visiting, and good food. I never have to prep much of anything in advance, and I never feel like my house needs to look perfect or anything. Jerilee is family, and she always will be. So my plan was to putter a little bit in the day, with no big goals at all, and then have Jerilee over in the evening.

First thing in the morning, I got a text from a friend saying she would be in town today to pick a few things up, and wondered if I would be up for a visit. I accepted happily right away! I love hanging out with her and her son, and we see each other so rarely. It was pretty perfect timing. We talked times, and figured we’d see each other around 11:00am. Probably about five minutes after we had discussed this, I got yet another text from another friend asking if I would mind a quick morning coffee date. Of course not! I would LOVE that!! So I threw my hair up in a ponytail and began my day with awesome anticipation for it all to play out!

Kim dropped by with Ellijah while my kids were still having breakfast. We drank lattes and she fed Solly his bottle. It was really nice. Kim and I usually text quite a bit throughout the day, but with her husband currently on holidays, they’re busier, and we’ve heard and seen less of each other than usual. It was really nice to get some time this morning.

When she headed home to be with her family, I hung with the kids and chopped some veggies and ran a neglected load of laundry through a second time (which will need a third run, thanks to my continued neglect) while I waited for Nicole to arrive. She came right on time, with her son in tow. Once again, we had a really nice visit! I don’t see them too terribly often, as we live a decent ways apart, but I was SO happy she reached out and got in touch today! She carried Solly around for me while I got lunch set up, which was a life saver because he was somewhat out of sorts. He often has a bit of a growly spell in the early afternoon, so the extra pair of hands was really really nice! They headed out mid-afternoon, and the house seemed to get very quiet. But then Rowan got up from his nap and everything was loud again 😉

Brady was expecting today to run long and to have to work for sure a half day this Saturday, but we were pleasantly surprised when he finished EARLY today!!! Granted, he went to a chiro appointment and to Home Depot on his way home, so he still arrived home at a fairly normal time, but I’m so happy he won’t need to go to work tomorrow 😀 Woot! He came home late afternoon, and by that time, the kids were in fairly rough shape. Brady sent me upstairs to take a rest, both from the kids, and to do an exercise or two recommended to me by my physiotherapist. Ladies, apparently laying on your back with your legs in a butterfly position is pretty much magical for our bodies! So do that! Anyway, I took my break, and then came down to help with supper.

The kids ate at the table while I fed Solly in the living room a few feet away. Unfortunately, it was a rough time for Laela especially, and she was eventually plucked from the table and put to bed early. Dekker and Rowan were doing a bit better, so at least Dekker seemed to feel pretty great about “staying up a bit,” even though he wasn’t actually staying up late at all. Jerilee arrived between the Laela being put to bed and the boys going down, so Laela missed her this time :/ Oh well, there will be other Bachelorette dates. The boys went down without a fuss, right on time, which is also a treat,.

We had big delicious tuna melt bagels for supper, and salted caramel cupcakes. My gosh, I could have eaten fifteen more of those. Except even right now, I can tell I’m completely stuffed, still. So delicious tho!

It is officially late enough that I’d rather be sleeping than blogging, so off I go! Tomorrow I’ll be ducking out briefly in the afternoon for a coffee and shopping date with Kim, but thats all thats on the docket! However, that can change at the drop of a text 😉 It was a really really nice day today! Thank you, friends, for making the effort to come over and be in our lives! I love you all SO MUCH.

Solomon and I went to see our doctor for our six (but actually seven) week check up. I’ve been anticipating it for a while, honestly. Its not like I feel worry going into it, but I really like getting the all clear that he’s doing good, and that I’m doing good. Reassurance goes a long way.

Solly is the most important so we’ll start with him. He slept through most of his appointment, which was nice. He weighs 14 lbs 3 oz, which is pretty awesome if you ask me! He is a solid 24.5″ tall. In both height and weight, he’s rocking the 97th percentile, and his head is in the 99.9th percentile! Hahaha! I haven’t heard those stats since we had Dekker 🙂 He is THRIVING, which is always great to hear. My doctor is always so soft with our kids, and commented on his soft, chubby arms with all of his sweet little folds. She is such a mommy. She was happy with everything she saw and heard about him, so I guess he checks out! All is right in the world of Solly.

As for me, she went over all of the specifics of my recovery, starting with that blasted muscle pain I’ve been fighting with. I went over with her what my physiotherapist had said and the direction we were going in with my treatment. I didn’t go into too much detail about that appointment because where was a lot swirling around in my head, and it was too much to condense when I was still trying to put it all in order in my head, but basically we’re going with the idea that my pain is coming from tension in my body, stemmed from a handful of things. My pregnancy with Solly was by far the most painful, and I’ve since learned to observe my body’s actions differently, and there are muscles that I NEVER let go of, that are always tightened. Even in the last few days, I have seen improvement as I’ve periodically taken stock of my muscles and relaxed the ones that are unnecessarily tightened. Dr. Guselle was very much in agreement with that. While I have always felt her support, I was caught off guard by her today. She was so very encouraging about the whole mess, and seemed to really want to instil confidence. She assured me that learning this information now and possibly making a few small changes will greatly improve my mobility and health through future pregnancies. I told her how frustrated I was with the age old “every pregnancy will be worse than the last” idea, and she reassured me that it actually doesn’t have to be this way. She never once made me feel silly or selfish for having my babies so close together, but rather said that I was on the right track and that she suspects future pregnancies could be considerably more comfortable than the last ones. I felt very empowered and positive in todays appointment.

We had come to the appointment as a family, but Brady had taken the three older kids out fairly early, because they were just too loud. Not doing anything wrong, but just being busy. Its a lot of people in one exam room 😉 When they left, Dr. Guselle commented on how well behaved they are, and how the staff comments on us almost every time we’re through. I love that they feel that way about the kids. I laughed and said “even when they bang on the walls and ride the rolly chair across the room?” She just laughed at me and said she would never be brave enough to bring all of her kids into a situation like that. She said we’re doing an excellent job. I’m sure many of you can understand how special it is to hear that, especially from someone who doesn’t owe you anything beyond “You’re healthy, see you in a couple of months.” But I shouldn’t be surprised. She always leaves me feeling uplifted. I don’t think there are too many doctors out there like her.

When I got back to the van, Brady had driven to a nearby Starbucks and picked me up my favorite drink, so that was a lovely surprise 🙂 But alas, he headed back to work and I drove home with half of my crew sleeping in the back. I mulled over my appointment pretty much the whole time, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m in good shape. I don’t mean like fitness wise, but in the other, more important ways. I’m not struggling very hard with feeling blue, and when I do have blue days, its rarely based around the kids. On a surface level, I’m physically healed very well. Stitches out, uterus a normal size, cervix closed, muscles attached, etc. And for the first time ever, I’m taking more control of my postpartum care and seeking out additional help to ensure that my body can hold up to the rest of my life circumstances.

I feel good today. I love going to the doctor! Hahaha!

Today was not the smoothest morning for our family. Solly woke up in a pool of milk that he had clearly thrown up earlier in the night. It broke my heart to see SO MUCH of it surrounding his body, with the bottom half of his face crusted over. Being the ill-prepared mother that I am, I didn’t have an extra sleeper in our room for him, and it was far too early to duck into Laela’s room to retrieve any of his clothing. I grabbed a spare receiving blanket that we keep in the diaper bag, undressed the little dude, and we just had some lovely skin time to keep him nice and warm, and in turn, to settle his tummy a little. We obviously dosed off together a little, but while he is by far our snuggliest baby, he doesn’t appreciate the sweat aspect of skin time, and became uncomfortable after twenty minutes or so. I swaddled him all up in his blanket and we slept a little more.

When it was time to get the big ones, it just seemed like everyone got off on the wrong foot. Dekker was arguing almost constantly with all of us. I even heard him rudely chastise Rowan, which is almost unheard of for him. Laela was the peach of the group, trying to pacify everyone around her. Her sharing was on point, and she followed all of Dekker’s orders perfectly. But the moment she hesitated at all, all hell broke loose and she would SCREAM! Not like throw a fit, but its like her warning alarm. DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! I don’t blame her for having one, but that shriek is piercing! Rowan also did a lot of screaming today, but he screams when he is feeling any kind of “out of sorts.” Sore gums equal screaming. Fatigue equals screaming. Hunger equals screaming. Sitting at the floor staring at the wall equals screaming. I anticipate the day when he knows more than five words. Communication makes things SO much easier!

This all being said, they had their moments.

Its good to remember that they love each other, even if it only really showed for a minute or two today. They’re all exceptional kids.

Rowan was napping by 11:00am, and Solly was sleeping around the same time, so I got the kids some muffins and bananas and sat them in front of the tv to regroup a little bit. I used that time to get ready for the rest of the day.

Because we are suckers for punishment, Brady and I opted to head to the city in the evening. We had only a few errands to run, but some were important, and some were just things we had been putting off and forgetting about. Unfortunately, Brady arrived home to a bit of a mad house. I think at least two of the kids were crying upon his arrival. At least. I was trying to feed Solly, but the activity around us was terribly distracting, and he was struggling a little bit. However, to my credit, I was ready, everyone was dressed, and the diaper bag was packed! We just needed to load everyone up! This was done amongst many tears, but it was done nonetheless. Usually lunch and a brain break helps everyone regroup, but MAN it didn’t today! Yikes!

We hit up Starbucks first and foremost 🙂 I am LOVING the vanilla sweet cream cold brew these days, so I grabbed that, along with a big hazelnut coffee syrup that was on sale. Woot! From there, we stopped off at a friends house to drop something off, and then headed for supper. We grabbed some food at Wendy’s, but Solly was TICKED, so we drove and ate so he could sleep.

Walmart was the win of the day. Our kids love Walmart. And especially today, so did we. We bought a vacuum and new pillows! That might not seem super exciting to anyone else but we’re sure happy! We snagged a couple of other cosmeticish things we keep forgetting and we were done! The entire time we were in Walmart, everyone was happy and cooperative. Except Solly, I suppose, because he pooped while I carried him. Not cool, dude.

We filled up the van with gas, and headed home. From pulling into the garage to getting into bed, they all cried. I couldn’t tell you why today was such a brutal day for them, but my goodness, it was! However, every day I am given with my family is a great one! God is good.

The kids and I headed to the playground this morning to meet up with a friend and her kids to play. One of hers is going into kindergarten this next year with Dekker, so we thought it would be nice to get them together to add another familiar face to the mix of all of the new kids they’re going to meet. Also, both boys are pretty shy, so the more dates with classmates the better!

I have to say that actually getting ready in the morning felt great! I don’t often “get ready” beyond putting on stretchy pants and deodorant. Not that I did a whole lot else, but I put my hair up and got dressed in presentable clothing. I packed up the diaper bag, fed and dressed everyone, and we walked to the park.

So its not the easiest to go for a walk just the five of us. Solly and Ro are in the double stroller, and Laela and Dekker walk. Its a fine set up, but Laela moves pretty slowly. (Cue my family commenting on how I was the exact same way.) So it took a solid half hour to get to the park, even though we live just a couple of blocks away. But when we got there, the kids were happy and entertained. Our friend showed up very soon after we did, and that just added to the fun. Dekker and his new friend were a bit shy of each other, but they warmed up WAY faster than I thought! They even ran off to some other playground equipment a little ways off together. It was really good to see! Laela was right in there, happy to play and try whatever the boys were trying, following closely behind for the most part. Rowan got tired and hot really quickly, and asked to be back in the stroller. So he sat in his spot under the shade and ate a fruit bar. Solly slept pretty much the whole time, with very little need for anything other than the occasional push of the stroller.

I really enjoyed getting reacquainted with my friend as well. It had been a really long time since we’d spent time together, and so much has changed in our lives. As I feel like I say a LOT, I LOVE living here, so much closer to my friends and family. I know its possible to stay in touch when you live further away, but this is so much nicer, and more personal. What a blessing it is to finally live here. Like I’ve said a handful of times, our address is finally here, but we’ve lived in this town for YEARS. Our hearts have sure been here anyway.

The date is over, the kids are SO warm, and everyone is worn out and happy. Brady will be home relatively soon, and I’ve been able to get a handful of small things done here at home. Since I’m less afraid of the pain I’ve been having, I’ve lessened my dose of medication, and so far I’m not suffering too hard. I’m not feeling 100% but I’m trying to remember some of what I learned in physio yesterday and take note of what my body is doing, and see if maybe I’m worsening my pain myself. Its nice to have a few other ideas.

The sweat heads and I will sign off now 🙂 I hope you’re all enjoying your Tuesday!

My much-anticipated physiotherapy appointment was this morning at 11:20. I took the time to actually get ready, and then I chatted with my sister on the phone while I drove in. It was a really nice preface to the appointment. When my physiotherapist came to pluck me from the waiting room, she was very apologetic about running behind. All five minutes behind. I assured her it was more than fine, and the appointment started very well 🙂

There is a LOT to process, so I probably won’t go into everything too terribly much. I absorbed a ton of information and ideas, and I loved our conversation and her perspective on whats going on inside of me. She and I think a lot alike. I left with a list of things to think about and work on over the next week and a half, and a date and time for our next meeting.

What I really really liked about todays appointment is that she didn’t give me a long list of jobs, exercises, or pressures. The biggest thing I’m supposed to work on is self awareness. Multiple times a day, I need to take note of how I’m doing certain things, how I’m holding my muscles, and where I’m carrying tension. I TOTALLY agree with this direction of treatment. In my appointment, she was also able to reassure me about a number of things, and put a positive light on just about everything. There was no shame, blame, or negativity. Just life circumstances, and encouragement.

I left with a lot to think about, but I’m not overwhelmed at all. We just have a starting point. Some ideas, some directions, and a few things to assess along the way. I’m very much anticipating these days between appointments, seeing what comes of them, and learning new ways to cope and eventually recover. I think its closer than I thought. Maybe its not, but I feel that encouraged. Now that I have a general idea of where this pain is rooted, I’m considerably less afraid of it. WIN!

Bradys parents dropped by on Friday on their way to a family reunion. Today, on their way back, they planned to stop by for a bit as well! The morning had been a bit rough on me, however. I woke up with chest pain, I was shivering, and nauseous. Solly had also woken up VERY sad with a tummy ache. He and I found some peace with each other after a while, and got a bit more sleep. Thank you, Brady for taking some pictures for me <3

We eventually woke up feeling a little bit better, and got the day going. We knew Bradys parents would arrive in the mid to late afternoon, and we just had a handful of things to get done before they came. I pulled some laundry out of the dryer and put it away. Brady bathed the kids. I got supper in the slow cooker and got the rest of it organized. Brady wiped down the bathrooms. We both did dishes, fed the kids, ran interference, etc. It was just a normal day with a few extras thrown in. Nothing too crazy.

When Phil and Elvira arrived, the kids were very happy to see them. They played and chatted and competed for their attention and once again toured them around the house. I think the whole group was thrilled to be together. The hubbub continued while Brady and I eventually set the table and got the food on. The kids were sad to break away from playing toys to sit at the table, but thank goodness, they actually like apricot chicken on rice, so it wasn’t too big of a struggle. Laela fought it a bit at first, but when she finally just ate it, she remembered that she liked it, haha! Thats not uncommon for our kids 😉 We had that and broccoli salad, and while I know its kind of tacky to say it, it was all really yummy!

After supper, there was a lot more playing, and dragging of grandma and grandpa downstairs. We gave them some extra time, but it had to be bedtime eventually. Needless to say, the kids were quite sad, but they did good. They still tidied up, got dressed and brushed and ready for bed, and come out to give lots of hugs and kisses. They did well. Once they were down, we made some decaf lattes and had some watermelon for dessert. It was a really nice visit.

They headed to their hotel for the night just recently, and Brady and I ran a tub for our soak. While today has been lovely, I’m very much anticipating tomorrow! I’ll be seeing a physiotherapist in hopes of figuring out some of this pain I’ve been having. If you care to pray, please ask that God leads her and gives her wisdom so we can finally get to the bottom of this!