The time has come, once again! To be honest, I love doing this series, and part of that is not having to be too creative on a Saturday, to have the layout of my post all organized for me in advance, and then I can just babble about my baby to my hearts content 🙂 Its my favorite day to post. So we begin.

Comparison/Size: This is my favourite comparison yet 🙂 The baby is roughly as big as a Lego guy!! I told the kids and they thought it was hilarious. Which I like, because they’re putting things together and actually picturing a baby as tiny as a Lego guy. Dekker made a joke about taking the baby out and playing with it in his Lego… I told him the baby wasn’t ready to come out yet, but that it was nice that he wanted to play with the baby already. Haha! Oy. Kids. Its usually around this time that I can start to feel the bump of my uterus just above my pubic bone, and unfortunately, I still can’t. The only other time I couldn’t feel it at this point was last time, with Theo, when he had already stopped growing a couple weeks before. So this isn’t the most comfortable I’ve ever felt. I admit that I’ve had my moment of “Why did I share this so early? What if this baby dies too? Why would I start a blog series?!” but I have to bring myself back to the actual answers, which are “I want to share this baby’s life! I want as much support and prayer as I can get! And if something happens and this baby dies, I’ll need just as much, if not more, support.” So we’re rolling with it 🙂 But please do pray that my grapefruiterus (see what I did there?) makes an appearance very soon!

How am I feeling mentally: Well I’d be feeling better if I could feel my uterus!! Haha! I’m anxiously awaiting some kind of milestone to pass. Something. Anything! My little uterus bump. Baby movement. (I know thats still a ways off, don’t worry) Hearing its heartbeat on a doppler. ANYTHING would make me feel a bit less anxious, really. But we wait. I can honestly say I’m not wasting hours worrying and worrying that our baby has died, but I am anxiously waiting for some time to pass so I can feel a bit more comfort.

How am I feeling physically: My nausea is ok. Its somewhat under control, as long as I snack a lot, which isn’t especially normal for me. But I can be abnormal 😉 You guys know that. My biggest beef with my physical health is that I’m not sleeping well AT ALL. My nausea medication is really nice and drowsy, so I don’t struggle at all to fall asleep, but I lull constantly and am so disoriented and wakeful in the nights. I can’t imagine what else I can do for my sleep, but its on my list to speak to my doctor about. That, and my boobs STILL hurt!! SO bad!!

Appointments: I have a doctors appointment next week!! I’m actually kind of unsure how to post about it though. Normally, I’d write that days post about it, but do I save it for Saturday so I can add it to the series? I don’t know. Opinions? I also have an ultrasound next week. Yup, I bit the bullet and booked it. Its time to get some reassurance. I’m ready.

Buys/Wish List: I did it. I bought a baby thing. Its a blanket. I am both excited and embarrassed that I ALREADY bought a baby thing, hahaha! I’m still keeping my eye on that pair of maternity jeans at the Gap, but no good sales. Where are those “no exceptions” sales when you need them? The deals never include denim!! Grrrrr.

How are the kids feeling: They’re VERY curious to SEE the baby. Rowan has taken to lifting up the bottom of my shirt and asking to see the baby. If only it were so simple, lol! They’ve noticed the ultrasound pictures on the fridge, and have asked if they’ll get to come to an ultrasound. Honestly, they could. Selfishly, I kind of would prefer them not to, so Brady and I could just focus and see our little baby, but I know it would be so special for them. So we’ll see. Maybe we’ll bite the bullet and do another one of those fun 3D ones down the road that they could come to.

The BEST thing about being pregnant this week: The best thing about being pregnant this week has been hard to nail down. Honestly, my mind has been so preoccupied with other things. When I do end up thinking about being pregnant, and adding another baby, and all of those things, this week I’ve been left feeling more anxious than excited :/ I guess I can say that the best part of being pregnant this week was thinking ahead and realizing HOW MANY PEOPLE are having a baby around the same time as I hope to!! Because I came out with my news so early, its been so different and funny to be seeing more and more pregnancy announcements, but they’re all due before me, haha! Almost everyone I know who is pregnant is due in December, and I’ll be over here, having my baby in January. Soooo if anyone wants to share secret January pregnancy news with me, I’m ready and waiting, hahaha! Its fun to think about all of the people who I’m pregnant with!

Anything else: We still have Theo’s ultrasound picture on the fridge, along with the ultrasound picture of the new little papoose. The question “which one is the dead baby?” is a tough one to swallow, but I know what they kids are trying to say. I’m actually really happy that they haven’t forgotten their other sibling in Heaven. It gets a little confusing to talk to them about our fifth baby, or our sixth baby, because Theo is their sibling, but we can’t go around telling people we’re expecting our sixth, because that gets ultra confusing. While I’m not shy to share with other people, not every stranger wants or needs to know about our recent miscarriage. So the kids know we had Theo, he’s around, but he’s not like with us, here, physically, in our house. So that explanation is fine with them, and its fine with me. He’s a member of our family, but in a different way. We are expecting our fifth baby to hopefully join us here, in our house. Its good enough for them, and for me.

Another “anything else” is that I’m thinking ahead to the rest of the blog series, and I’m SO excited to do some of those old wives tales that hypothetically (but not actually accurately at all) predict the baby’s gender. When is a good time to do that? I feel like its still too early for lots of them, but some of them won’t make ANY sense until basically almost the end of pregnancy, which will be moot, because we really hope to find out the gender at the halfway point. Sooooo any opinions on that? When’s a good time?

Pictures: My bumpity bump…

Still just bloaty, nothing else really. Not too different. But good to keep a record, I suppose.

Thats it, thats all, folks! If you have a thought on when to do the gender predictions, let me know! Otherwise, I’ll just make up a time and go for it, but I don’t know the rules 🙂 I hope you’ve all enjoyed your Saturday! Brady was gone for the morning, but Jerilee came to help me keep the kids alive, so we’ve all had a super lovely day!

I wonder this every single time it happens, but I never ask. It can’t just be us!!

Does everyone else’s kids get their legs stuck between their crib bars? Its only just for a short time. They’ve all seemed to learn pretty quickly, after a few tries. But its happened to each kid so far where, they’ve clearly had their leg in the air, slipped it through the bars, and then lowered it all the way down. Then they scream and scream until we come running, and find them this way. We have to twist their body around lift their leg all the way back up to free them from their entrapment.

So obviously I’m bringing this up because once again, this has happened to Solly. Its his second go at it in the last three days. And the little punk lodges his leg between the bars on the side of his crib that is against the wall. So its not as easy as just lifting his leg back up, but I have to try and bend his knee the right way at the same time, and when he’s in so much pain, he’s not the worlds most cooperative, I’m sure you can imagine.

So this morning, I freed him amidst his screaming, and then tried to comfort him through breakfast, which seemed to work. During breakfast, he poured milk all over himself and his sleeper was soaked. So I changed his diaper and got him out of his wet clothes, and he took off, so I let him just hang in his diaper.

Over an hour AFTER THAT, he still has this big ole dent in his chubby little thigh 🙁

I remember, when this happened to Dekker, he would have dents on the inside of his thighs too, and they’d stay all day 🙁 Solly’s wasn’t even swollen at this point, but MAN! These chubby kids and their chubby legs!!

This cannot be just us!! Is it? There’s no real remedy beyond them figuring it out and just not doing it anymore, right? Some people have said in the past to use bumper pads, but Laela still stuck her legs past them. And then some people think bumpers are totally dangerous. So I have no idea what “the right answer” is on this!!

Help me feel normal here, just for a minute. Please!

Food is hard these days, that isn’t a secret. Its SO hard for me to figure out what I’m hungry for, or what I can stomach, and sometimes its just trial and error, which isn’t fun. But this week, for whatever strange reason, I’ve been hungry for fuller, meatier meals, which was NOT the case in the weeks leading up to this one. Strange, strange changes, all the time.

Leftovers are the easiest lunch for me, because I don’t have to actually prepare anything, and they keep me fuller (and healthier, obviously) than the general snacky crap I end up eating otherwise.

Today, for lunch, I served myself up a decent sized bowl of leftovers from last nights supper. It was about half of what was left. I heated it up and it was gone waaay too fast. I hemmed and hawed and finally decided to bite the bullet and go back for round two. It was just so so good.

And then I lost my mind, and began microwaving my empty bowl. It only happened for a few seconds, thank goodness, before I clued in. My exact thought was “Wow, I loaded up that second serving fast! Or did I?” I did not, and stopped the microwave immediately. And nothing exploded!!! Win!

This is just one example of how I’ve been losing my mind the last few days. But hey, at least I didn’t lose my lunch!

I’m so looking forward to this afternoon. When Brady found out he was going to have a very short day at work, I called my hair girl and scheduled a quick touch up of the shaved side of my head for the afternoon. My morning was so weird and shivery and sick, and while I feel super wiped out, and going out isn’t ideal for me when I feel like this, I’m hopeful that a change of scenery will be good, even if I pay for it with exhaustion a bit later. It’ll be worth it.

When Brady got home, I grabbed a shower and had some lunch. Food is weird. I assume that my shakes are a result from blood sugar and whatever that all is. I’ve been advised to eat every few hours to help with it. But the thing is, I DO! And I’m STILL SHAKY! Its very frustrating, honestly, but I can’t keep a steady hand to save my life. Makes me feel a bit crazy, but I’ll get to talk to my doctor a bit about it next week.

The shakes paired with my constant chill (because whenever I feel sick, I feel cold) makes me just feel a bit on the unstable side, though I know its just the physical feeling of being out of control. If that makes any sense. I’m not explaining myself well, but typing is hard when my hands are so dang shaky!!! It’ll be good to get outside in the blazing heat and force myself to calm down and warm up.

Yikes! Time to get some makeup on and get ready to go! Fresh hair is worth getting up for 😉

I’m aware my posts are sort of slipping these days. I promise you all, its only for a time. With my current state of legit exhaustion, I’ve been finding regular days pretty hard to get through. And that doesn’t make for enjoyable blog content. So far today, I’ve acted more like a drill sergeant than a mom, accomplished nothing worth mentioning, cleaned up countless spills that I have made myself with my lazy hands, while leaving the soaked cloths and towels in the kitchen sink, next to the dirty dishes. That being said, the kids are alive, fairly happy (which is pretty wondrous actually), and fed. Now that the little boys are sleeping, a show is on and the big kids are relaxing for a bit. Now is usually my chance to blog.

I have a list of blog ideas that are somehow family/pregnancy related that I made for moments like these, but they are on my laptop, and that’s up in my room. And I literally CANNOT will myself to stand and get there. Instead, you’re getting yet another whiny post. It WILL get better, I promise it will.

Just think. In my past pregnancies, on days like this, I had to basically lie through it on here. I couldn’t just be straight up with you guys about how I was feeling. It was so hard. I hoped that, by being open sooner, I would have an easier time during the first trimester struggles. I do feel somewhat better about it, because at least I can talk about whats going on, but its not a whole lot easier :/ I still feel like a total downer. I assure you, I am trying.

I’m so thankful that Brady isn’t going to work a long day today. Help will be on the way in a couple of hours. Until then, we rest and relax and zone a little. It could be a tad bit more relaxing, if not for the jackhammering outside and the new awareness of Laela sniffling every five seconds. Remind me to stay as far away from her as possible! I do not want a cold right now. But likely, neither does she.

We’ll all make it through this weird, hard, tired time. I promise, next time I manage my way upstairs, I’ll look at my list of blog ideas, so we can avoid too many more posts like this 😉

We’ve got this. I’ve got this. Or at least thats what I’m telling myself.

Guys. I am tired today. Wiped. Out.

Brady made me lunch, and I could barely press my fork thru through the food. Today is apparently a day to draaaaag. Good thing we did the tail end of our grocery shopping yesterday, because today would not have been the day, and Brady is back to work tomorrow for the week. It had to be yesterday.

Once the little boys went down for their nap, Brady sent me upstairs to hide and rest. I’m currently watching a rerun of one of the Duggars having a baby on YouTube. I would’ve blogged earlier, but my arms were SO tired, I couldn’t imagine lifting them up to the keyboard.

I’m not making this up. Today, I am physically exhausted. I can’t imagine doing anything extra today. And I’m thankful I don’t have to 🙂 With that being said, though, typing feels like “extra” right now, so back to my show I go!

Praying for more energy tomorrow!!

I texted Jerilee yesterday, just to chat and see what she was busy with that day, like every other day. The conversation began completely innocently, and ended with unexpected evening plans. Jerilee lovingly offered to come hang in our house and care for the sleeping littles so Brady and I could go on a date, and go watch the fireworks! While seeing the fireworks doesn’t make or break my year, it was SO FUN to get out of the house just Brady and I, and go be part of an event that only comes along once a year. We jumped at the offer, obviously.

First, we spent our evening with my parents. They had invited us over for a wiener roast, so we headed over in the late afternoon. The kids played in the yard and spread out the toys VERY well while the rest of us visited and got some food together for supper. It was a total success!

Just for reference, Solomon ate a whole hot dog (as in a wiener and a bun), a good sized bowl of strawberries, and a cookie. The only kid who out-ate him was Dekker. Laela and Rowan stopped at half a hot dog. Crazy kids. Solly also ate a large handful of dirt out of a flowerbed, so even more protein!

We got the kids home pretty close to their usual bedtime, and everyone was nice and tired, and went down fairly smoothly. Jerilee showed up right around 8:00pm and we left shortly thereafter. We stopped to 7eleven and bought bad snacks to bring along with us. I’ve got to say, to anyone who likes to buy the bottles iced teas, the Pure Leaf raspberry one is unbelievable. It genuinely tastes like fresh raspberries as opposed to frozen or candied or whatever else. It was amazing.

We got a pretty decent parking spot, considering the size of our vehicle, and hauled our blanket and snacks to the park. We chose a spot on the hill, snuggled up in our blanket, and read all of the pregnancy apps on Brady’s phone to pass the time. I took them all off of my phone after my miscarriage, but I don’t think Brady did. He was perhaps a tad more level headed than I was. Either way, we like to read them together anyway.

Finally, the fireworks began! They went for a solid half hour, complete with the kid beside us screaming “Canada rocks!” over and over, and the guy in front of us who yelled “Ho!” every time a new firework showed up or surprised him. Haha! You’ve got to have those people, right?

It was a great show! The finale pounded in my chest LOUDLY, and really closed it off with a bang!

We followed the crowd out of the park and slowly made our way to the van. Leaving is always the most chaotic part of the evening, but we intentionally parked somewhat far away so it wouldn’t be as bad leaving. And it wasn’t. All was well.

It was SUCH a lovely night away. We could hold hands, and take our time, and eat candy without having to share! We could sit quietly and just rest with each other, and didn’t have to entertain anyone else. It was freeing and special. While I really love to be with my kids, and I don’t feel like we’re suffering hard without ample amounts of dates, I am so thankful we got an evening away.

Thank you, Jerilee, ever so much for offering us a date 💗 It was SUCH an amazing gift!

I feel mildly scandalous posting about my pregnancy on a day when most people would likely be posting about Canada Day (or at least Canadians would be) but I’m just a tad more interested in talking about the little papoose. Hopefully no one objects 😉 I guess, if you do, you don’t have to read! Isn’t that freeing? Haha! Aaaaanyway…

Onto my second entry in the series!

Comparisons/Size: The fun little comparison chart I’m liking this time around compares the baby’s size to that of a pecan! Beyond that, I’m kind of useless to you in this category. I don’t weigh myself on the regular, and I don’t care to measure my stomach, haha! I know my starting weight so I’ll keep you in the loop along the way when I do gain some, but it will not be weekly. Who really cares, though. I’ve gained completely different amounts in each pregnancy, and all the kids are great 😉 so I say again, who cares?

How am I feeling mentally: With my sickness kicking it up a notch (we’ll talk about that in a minute) my nerves have eased a little bit. I would not feel this consistently ill for no reason. I have found some confidence in that, though of course, not 100%. But it helps. Usually my first trimester is filled with nerves and I struggle pretty bad with sleep, but my nausea pills help put me to sleep, which is also helpful towards my mental health. I can tell, I am far less reasonable and far more nervous when I haven’t slept well.

How am I feeling physically: Physically, I have felt better, haha! I’m so thankful for the medication I can take, because it really takes the edge off. I was anticipating updating about this, because earlier this week, I was feeling like my meds had completely taken away my sickness! But I’m pretty sure that was just a good moment 😉 I eat pretty much every couple of hours, sometimes more, and if I don’t, I really feel it. I get SO nauseous and wiped out, and very very shaky. Its hard, honestly :/ It sucks to feel so sick so consistently. I feel unreliable and lazy, but I know its all for a good cause. These days, I know that while I’m sitting still, staring past everyone, completely zoned in my own little world, my body is racing around, working like crazy to build a whole person!! So its allowed to be tired. I can keep all of this at bay with regular eating, thankfully. Doesn’t help with the chills though. Brrrrr!!

Writing it all out is good, actually. My physical struggles are actually helping my mental health! Win!

Appointments: Nope. Still nothing new to report. I said last time that I would be booking another ultrasound soon (I have the requisition on my island and everything) but I’m kind of hanging onto it until I feel I need it more, you know? I’m hoping to book it this week, though.

Buys/Wish List: I’ve resisted up to this point! I’m thinking, though, I want to buy a new, BIG water bottle soon. I have one thats kind of small and I don’t like the spout on it very much. I’d like one with a straw. Maybe even just one of those BIG clear Starbucks cups with a straw. I’ve seen water bottles that have measurements and times on them, so they kind of dictate that you should have drank up to that line by whatever o’clock. I would LOVE one like that but I have no idea where to find such a thing locally, or even for a decent price. But I can safely say I do NOT drink enough water. So I should buy something like that sooner than later.

How are the other kids feeling about the whole things?: Not too much has changed in this area. Everyone is still happy. Dekker brought the baby up this week over breakfast. First, he told me he really wants the baby to be a girl. Then, he suggested the baby name “Beaver.” Laela and Rowan jumped in with their full support on the name he had chosen, and they all tried to convince me it was a beautiful name. I asked if anyone had any other ideas. “Girl Love” was suggested. I thanked them for their input, and told them to keep thinking about names, and that I LOVED that they were excited about the baby. But for the record, we will not be naming our baby either of those names…

The BEST thing about being pregnant this week: I think the best thing about being pregnant this week was the fact that I felt optimistic, and hopeful. To me, that speaks of all of the people who are lifting us up in prayer, and that God is here. I know there is no guarantee ever in pregnancy. EVER. And I know myself, and I should be anxious. But at the moment, I’m not. I’m thankful for my discomfort and symptoms reminding me that the baby is growing and developing, and I can feel less fear and more gratefulness and excitement. The BEST thing about this week is the peace I’ve been feeling.

Anything else? Uuummm…I bought non-alcoholic radler. I haven’t tasted it yet, so I guess this doesn’t count for much, but wish me luck! It would be such a fun surprise if it was delicious! My hopes are definitely higher than my expectations.

Pictures: I had to run upstairs to take one before I started writing today’s post. I even put jeans back on! You’re welcome.

I definitely do not have a baby bump yet, but things are changing, anyway. Its all still soft and bloaty, but it counts. This looks like baby bloat, which I’m thankful for. It does good things for my heart, too, to see that I already have something to show for my pregnancy. I never show so early, except I did with Theo. I was worried that, for some reason, I wouldn’t show early this time, and I would maybe feel like I made my Theo bump up or something. But I didn’t. Its a nice reminder that he was with us, even for that short time 🙂 Very much another little family member. One I still miss dreadfully. I would be about eight months pregnant right now had he lived.

All in all, I liked this week. I’m so happy to be nine whole weeks pregnant! While time is positively inching by, I’m thankful for every day that I’ve been able to be pregnant. Summer has come, and will likely go way sooner than I imagine. And then we’ll be settling into a new routine with Dekker going to school full time, and Laela starting preschool. And as soon as we get all comfortable and settled, it’ll be Christmas. And SO SOON after Christmas, it’ll be our turn. I try so hard not to look too far ahead, but its hard some days. I wish I didn’t have to be so far away, but I can wait. ❤️

In the last couple of weeks, nausea has hit me harder than ever before, and I’ve been taking medication full time to keep it at bay. Conveniently, the double dose I take before bed has a delicious drowsy effect, and I’m out to lunch within twenty minutes of taking it. Its a nice system for the time being.

Last night was a bit different, though. While I fell asleep quite easily, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. That part isn’t uncommon, lol! But then I took a sip of water, and normally, I have no problem rolling over and going back to bed. But last night, I couldn’t. I was drowsy, though. Ok, let’s be real. I was solidly disoriented. It was better than laying wide awake in bed for hours, but I dozed in and out for what felt like forever. I believe I got up to pee four times, which is NOT common. I just could not get back to sleep.

Until I did, obviously, and I have no idea when it happened, but I was zonked. I don’t remember Brady leaving for work, or hearing the kids at all. I was toast.

Needless to stay, I woke up pretty hard and had a difficult time dragging my sorry butt out of bed. But, it happened, after a while. The kids were happy and friendly, and the big kids got breakfast all set up so all I had to do was pour the milk. Once I had zombied my way through that, I went to microwave my morning coffee. I was in desperate need of a pick me up. I took my nausea meds and sipped my coffee a bit.

And of all days for my coffee not to sit well, today ended up being the day. I could’ve cried, honestly. While I sat still and drank my coffee so slowly, my gag reflex fought back hard. So I didn’t barf, but clearly, I lost the fight. I could barely manage to eat anything in the morning, and I was really shaky because of it. I finally found something I could eat without heaving – cinnamon toast crunch – and ever so slowly, I stopped shaking, and seemed to level off a bit. Who knew the answer would be pure sugar? Lol!

Thank goodness, Brady is anticipating being home sooner than later. Its always such a treat when a house finishes up faster than anticipated! Until then, though, I’m going to lay still on this recliner, shamelessly, while my little ones sleep and my big ones watch Charlie Brown again.

Last year, my interest in makeup application was growing immensely, and my skill was improving more than I had ever really expected. Looking back now, I don’t know why I was so nervous to take the Makeup Artistry course I did, but I’m so thankful that I did! It taught me some more “correct” application techniques and a lot of general rules that I didn’t know. Basically, makeup theory. I’m so thankful I learned all of that. Face shapes, the color wheel, how to choose the right foundation, all of the little but important details! However, the biggest thing that I learned from the course was that makeup is artistry. Its more than just rules, and its a place to be creative! I learned that, despite the trends and styles floating around, you do what you want to do, and be confident in it. That was the best lesson, because I really did gain confidence. I wear last years eyebrows proudly, haha! And I highlight my chin even though its pointy. Honestly, I highlight it because its pointy, and I like it that way!

When I took this course, we were encouraged to think ahead and consider where we wanted to end up, and how this course was going to help. Where was it going to get me? The other girls wanted to work in salons, or sell makeup with some education under their belt. I was the only one without a big direction in mind. I said I just really loved playing with makeup, and wanted to be a go-to for people in my town, whether for a party, a date, just for fun, some time away from home, etc. I remember saying “Maybe when I’m really confident, I’ll try to get in on the grad circuit.”

That was last fall, and today, I made up two beautiful girls (and one of their lovely mamas) in preparation for their graduation ceremonies this evening!! I’ll admit that I was sweating up a storm by the end of it, but it happened, and it happened well! Everyone left happy and polished, and I felt confident as I sent them on their way. If I can be so bold, I think everything turned out very well! Success all around.

I’m SO thankful that people have been willing to put their trust in me in the last couple of months, and I’ve gained quite a bit more experience under my belt. I feel much more capable, and I think it showed today. I didn’t even feel very nervous! That says a lot. I truly enjoyed my work today 🙂

Now to go upstairs and do my eyes. With only the basics on, I’m feeling a tad underdone 😉