With this unbelievably harsh cold snap, I’ve found myself more ready than even for warmer weather! I’ve also been back at the task of saving blog posts, and coming across all of our trips to the lake last spring and summer likely hasn’t helped either. I am so ready for spring to come. I will not miss the ice, or the jackets, or the boots, or the mitts on tiny none-mitt-friendly hands, or the crazy static, or the dry lips, or the lack of lines on the roads and parking lots. Spring is welcome any time!

But SUMMER! Mmmmm! Summer is my jam. Especially this summer. ☀️ I have these moments of fear, and not wanting to “jinx” anything, but YIKES, I’m so excited for July! If all goes as I’m hoping it will, we will have our baby in the very beginning of July, and just a few weeks later, we’ll all go to the lake for a week vacation. All seven of us! I cannot WAIT!! Except, I can, because I do NOT want the baby to come yet! Please Lord, let Bambino stay safe on the inside until July, or the end of June is also acceptable, haha!

As I was day dreaming about going to the lake, I realized that I will be pretty freshly postpartum at that point, and I will have nothing to wear on the beach! Let’s have some real talk here, ladies. I’m not going to be actually going into the water, because three weeks postpartum, I will not be done recovering. *cough* bleeding *cough* So I’ll wear actual shorts or leggings on the bottom, but I’d like to have a swim top for the sake of tanning, splashing, sand, etc. When I’m pregnant, I wear a bikini, because why not? When I’m not pregnant, I usually still wear a bikini. I’ve had kids, sure, my stomach isn’t tight anymore. I’m not too ashamed of that. BUT, three weeks postpartum is a different story, and I’m not sure I’m brave enough to hit the beach in a bikini top, with the fresh jelly belly out for the world to see.

So while it felt ballsy, yesterday, I went shopping for bathing suits online. And today, I ordered a couple.

Deep breaths. I know jinxes aren’t real, but it freaks me out. Twice last year, I bought a couple of things for being pregnant in the next season, and have sorrowfully packed them up with all the other baby stuff I’ve hidden from myself. But I figure that if a bathing suit fits me now, as I’m getting progressively “thicker,” it should be able to contain some jelly belly after, correct? Tell me this makes sense. Whether it does or doesn’t, thats what I did, and I’m hoping with ALL hope that I get my chance to wear these on the beach this summer, with my new little baby sleeping the day away under the umbrella. Assuming our baby is another one that sleeps… 🤞

Doing just that alone has me pining away for warmer months, and itching to make more lake plans. However, I’m aware of where I live, and that minus temperatures are here to stay for quite some time still. But mark my words, when the snow is gone and the kids can run around outside in t-shirts and shorts again, no one will be more grateful than me!!

My last three pregnancies have been full of new experiences, to say the least. This current pregnancy has been an obvious mess of emotions and other things, and I realized that I don’t think I’ve told the story about how I found out, how I told Brady, what I did immediately after, or any of those fun details, so here I am today to do just that. Hopefully it interests some of you at least! I totally get it if this kind of thing isn’t your cup of tea. No problem 🙂 I’m not offended one bit.

***

We had never ever conceived on our first cycle of trying, but a person has to start somewhere. Brady and I began the process of trying to conceive as soon as I had my cycle back after losing Jamin. It was completely all over the place, no rhyme or reason to it, but thats to be expected after a loss. I wasn’t optimistic, but I wanted to hope. I had a friend who had lost a baby about a week after I lost Jamin, who was at about the same stage of pregnancy as me. We discovered just how close our dates were, and we promised we’d test together on the same day. I say “together” loosely, since we don’t even live in the same country. Still, its fun to do things like that with a friend 😉 She and I got pretty close in those days of waiting and wondering. When she found out she hadn’t conceived, I had a pretty big cry for her. We were SO similar, I was sure I was out of the running that month as well. It only made sense. But she was a more patient person than me, and once we knew she hadn’t conceived, I went and tested earlier than our agreed upon date with a cheap little strip test from a pack that had been gifted to me. And there was a teeny tiny shred of something. But I was pretty freaked out about the whole thing, and raising hopes was NOT an option, so I sent a picture to another friend who notoriously got evaporation lines on pregnancy tests. She encouraged me to test again. It was still super early, and as I said, my cycle was completely bananas and hard to anticipate. So I did another little cheapie test the next morning. And once again, something showed up. It was darker, but still pretty lame. I could talk my way around it. I showed my friend again, and she was optimistic! I decided to use the ONE expensive test I had on hand – a Clearblue. Now, for anyone out there having babies, or trying to, do NOT use the blue dye tests! I used to buy these all the time because they were half the cost at Costco, but they are horrendous for evaporation lines and believable false positives. Basically, they suck. But it was all I had left on hand, so I took it, and while I didn’t trust it, it sure looked believable.

The next day, I made up some excuse to go to the city by myself. I couldn’t tell you why, I don’t remember. I know I bought groceries, but I’m not sure how I talked my way around bringing the whole family. But, I did. I started at Superstore, and picked up some First Response tests. I even had the forethought to go ask for a dixie cup at the pharmacy. That turned out to be more awkward than it should’ve been, but I got over it pretty quickly. I bought the rest of my stuff and left. In the van, I pulled out one of the tests and put it in my jacket pocket.

Walmart was next on the list, and yes, I took the pregnancy test in the bathroom there, because I’m classy like that. It was tricky finding where to set everything down in the tiny stall, but I made it work, and then I just sat in there and waited the few minutes before I looked. And it was there! Very faint, but there it was! I was kind of in disbelief. I sent a picture to my friend, and then put my phone and the test in my pocket, and didn’t look at any of it until I was done in Walmart.

Now you’re not supposed to look at tests after the ten minute mark, but I obviously did once I got to the van. And in the natural light, it was unmistakeable!!

The progression went like this:

I was pretty floored, and unsure of what to do from there. I hadn’t spent any time planning how to tell Brady when I found out, because I just hadn’t anticipated conceiving yet! I know people say you’re extra fertile coming off a loss, but it had taken three months (I think) after losing Theo to conceive again. But really, what do I know?

So naturally, as one would do, I texted Jerilee.

We agreed to meet up for a quick coffee date, so we could celebrate, and try and figure out how to tell Brady. It was SO special to do that with my best friend 💜 But of course, I was completely preoccupied and self involved, and didn’t even think to take a bestie selfie or anything! Would’ve been a fun opportunity for one 🙂 Maybe next time 😜

We grabbed coffee at Starbucks and did a couple laps of the mall. It was only a few days before Halloween so I was kind of hoping for one of those maternity shirts with the baby skeleton on it, or something along those lines, but no such luck. The closest was a “team blue” or “team pink” shirt, neither of which were going to be helpful at this point. I looked for “daddy” mugs but they were either all either geared towards first-time fathers (which Brady is clearly not) or they were dumb and negative, talking about how life will now be full of spit up, sleepless nights, etc. Thats just not our kind of humor. Someone working at Hallmark tried to sell me on a picture frame to put an ultrasound picture in, but I am not a person to go to a first ultrasound without my husband if I can help it! There was no way I was waiting that long, either.

I finally found the ONE thing that announced a pregnancy. A weird purple/brown hand towel. The message is poorly executed, and it doesn’t even have an exclamation point! Very reminiscent of the “It is your birthday.” banner from The Office.  I had literally NO other ideas, and didn’t want to leave empty handed, so I went for it. It wasn’t all that cute, but it was something. I set it up at home on our en suite sink.

And the guy didn’t find it until later that night!! He even went in and ran a tub, but didn’t notice it on the sink. I finally played the needy card and asked him to go get me something from the bathroom even though I was five steps away from it. Being who Brady is, he immediately went to retrieve a Q-tip, or whatever the thing was, and saw it! I cried, and he laughed. He was more on the “thrilled” side of things, and less on my “panicked and terrified” side of things. Its ok, we balanced each other out 😉

The next couple of weeks held lots of calls from my doctor and OB, getting into the routine of taking aspirin every evening, and LOTS of blood work! I am NOT a needle person, and even after all the blood work that came with losing Jamin, and all the testing, and then ALL the HCG beta tests I did every 2 days following conception, I still hate them, haha! Maybe even more than I did. But seriously, someone can draw my blood every day for all I care. It was SO reassuring to see my hormones levels not only double every two days like they’re supposed to, but TRIPLE!

It was a crazy crazy time, and I don’t think I had ever felt so scared to be pregnant, but excitement only grows as baby does. I’ve got a great God, a loving husband, and amazing friends and family who care about us, keep in touch with us, and pray for us. I am as well set up as I could ever ask to be.

Thank you to everyone who liked/commented on/reached out to me regarding yesterdays post. Its so cool to see so many people care about our family and the life of our little Bambino. Please continue to keep us in mind in the coming weeks. Before the end of the month, we’ll hopefully pass the stage of pregnancy at which we lost Jamin, and we will also cross over his due date all at the same time. I’m not sure how thats going to look but I’m already feeling heavy.

We’ve had a bit of a rough start this morning, but on with the day! Dekker is at school, Laela is at preschool, and I’m home with the little boys. We are finally warmed up, and Solly is getting the breakfast he slept through earlier this morning before we left for school. He is a SUPER happy camper now, and Rowan is happy to have the freedom to play with anything he wants. Its nice and quiet, and a cozy blog opportunity for me.

I’d love to hide inside for the rest of the day, but I’ll venture out again soon to pick Laela up from preschool. I’d better get used to this weather. I hear it’ll be upon us until Tuesday at least. Oy, it is COLD today. My patient little bunch sat in our van for over a half hour this morning and it never fully warmed up. I could audibly hear the kids shivering away. Hopefully there is still SOME residual heat from the morning when I go to restart the van in an hour or so. Brrrrr!!

I have no big commitments today, but I have a card to write, a bed to make, and I have to make a plan for Sunday morning. Brady and I are part of worship leading this Sunday, but my parents aren’t around to watch the kids this time! We’ve got it mostly organized except during morning sound check practice. I have to figure that out as soon as possible, because thats usually the time that the kids get up and have breakfast, haha! Maybe they’ll have to come eat Cheerios in their jammies at church… 😉 Probably I can come up with something a bit more conventional than that, haha!

So, a low key day. I think I’ll finally relax when Laela is back from preschool and I can be inside again. The dread of outside is real!

Stay warm today, friends! And again, many thanks for your love and support for our family. It means more than you can understand.

I get so extra nervous the day before I have an appointment. My subconscious seems to be expecting us to show up to the appointment and discover that the baby has passed. While I have no reason to think anything is out of place with the baby, I didn’t last time either. Its all pretty tricky, but I’m trying to roll with it all as gracefully as possible. Full disclosure, the “graceful” part isn’t working even a little bit, but I haven’t stopped trying to be less of a basket case.

Last night, I began to grow nervous of my ultrasound the next day. After much deliberation, I pulled out my trusty doppler and went on the hunt for some reassurance. And I found it fairly quickly, thank goodness. As soon as I located the baby’s little heartbeat, the baby kicked the doppler good and proper (its a very specific sound) and swam away. I chased it down for a minute or two before I felt better, and then put it all away. It helped my heart immensely.

We dropped Dekker off at school this morning as a family, and the rest of us drove to the city for my ultrasound. We listened to the soundtrack for “The Greatest Showman” and after my favorite song played, Solly exclaimed “Oh Ya!” He is so so cute. The kids are so familiar with our clinic now, so they found some toys in the waiting room, and Solly stood suspiciously in front of the door that leads us to the back exam rooms, anticipating our turn. When it finally was, our tech called us back and greeted all the kids very warmly. She told us right away that she’d put her Christmas gift from us (fuzzy slipper socks) to good use in the last couple of weeks, which was so sweet to hear 🙂 But it just got better from there, as we scanned over the baby and once again, saw it move around and kick. We got to see SO much! The heart, kidneys, bladder, lungs, etc. Its just so amazing how much changes in such a short time! Baby finally has a weight today of 3 oz, and measures about 8.5 cms from head to butt. Jamin measured about 14w3d when he was born, and today, I’m 14w2d. Its a bit close to home, but its actually been interesting for me to know some details about this baby. Jamin weighed 60 g and Bambino weighs about 85 g. Bambino is 8.5 cms but that doesn’t include his legs. Jamin was 13.5 cms, so maybe they’re close in height too? All babies and pregnancies are different, obviously, but you can’t help but wonder, right?

Baby was in a bit of a funny, more squished position, so our tech couldn’t get any great full body profile shots, but I’ll take what I can get <3

Still a good little face!

We got our cute little pictures and headed off to the next stop. Brady had to get some fasteners, and then we needed diapers and wipes, so two stops. While Brady was in getting his framing nails, I looked back and saw this.

I think the last time there were cookies in the van was maybe when we looked at Christmas lights that one night? Maybe?? Either way, ew. But he was clearly happy, so I let it happen. But the sugar was grossly unhelpful, and no less than twenty minutes later, he was dozing.

We listened to good music the whole drive home, though Rowan did throw out one request for “the dingle balls song.” 😳 Jingle bells, I figured out later. Weirdo, lol!

We’re home now, and I’m just chilled through and through! The kids are all napping, and Brady had to drive to the city for literally ten minutes of work 😩 So I’m up in bed, desperately trying to warm up! I’m dressed warm, coffee and a hot lunch didn’t do it, so I’m not sure what my next step is 🤷 I guess we’ll see how desperate I get! First, blog. Then, YouTube. And then we’ll see where I end up. But it had better be indoors!!!

I hope you’ve all had some positivity today! Sure makes these grey days just that much easier.

Its felt like an incredibly busy day. I’ve been running for what feels like all day. Its been productive but I am wiped out! I can finally take a break to blog, while resting my body 🙂

I started the morning off by taking Dekker to school. The weather has lifted a little since out -50 Christmas holidays, so it feels nice out. I made it home pretty quickly and threw back half a cup of coffee before taking Laela to preschool. I was a parent helper there this morning, so I stayed at preschool with her for a couple of hours. Laela does very well at preschool, but she’s always a tiny bit hesitant to go in at the beginning. She was thrilled that I was staying today, which was very good for my mama heart. Our relationship is a bit strained these days, so to have her want me around, and to come hug me between activities was so special! We had a nice morning with the other kids, and drove home right in time for lunch.

About halfway through the morning, I realized that not only had I not eaten, but I had forgotten to take diclectin! Ack! No good. So I was relieved to sit at the island for a few minutes and finish my coffee, while eating some leftover perogies. Yum!

I barely ate lunch and used the bathroom before I was out the door again and to the city. I went to my chiropractor this afternoon for the first time in almost a year! With it having been such a long time, my lower back is in a LOT of pain and developing angry misalignment bumps. It was time. So I went in, and I swear he didn’t recognize me right away. We caught up a bit, and I had to tell him about our difficult year last year. I was nervous to go through it all with him, because I tend to cry a bit easier when I’m recounting our losses for people who don’t know about them to begin with. He was very compassionate, and I didn’t cry, which was HUGE for me. Once history had been hashed out, he treated my aching body. It was a lot, and I’m feeling pretty drained from it, but it felt really good to be back in place. Whew!

I went straight to Costco from chiro, and did a nice big shop. I FINALLY remembered to get a few things that I almost always forget, so the list is wiped pretty clean, which always feels good. Pushing that heavy cart didn’t feel great on my angry back, but what can you do? I packed my groceries into our bus and drove home with the soundtrack to “The Greatest Showman” blasting in my van. Seriously, if you have the opportunity to see that movie, SEE IT. Life changing stuff.

I made it home at 2:30, and took a load off while Brady unpacked the groceries. He, Laela, and I took a quick cookie break at the island. The little boys were still napping. But shortly before 3:00, I was out again, getting the mail before going to pick Dekker up from school. Lucky for me, Dekker was in a super happy mood, and was a good little buddy as we walked together to the van. He was so bundled, which was right, because its winter, and we’ve had freezing rain all afternoon, but he was just a sweaty mess when I got him, and I got to hold his hot little hand all the way to the bus. I love him <3

Since getting home, I’ve taken off my jeans and crawled into bed, haha! Don’t judge me, you’re jealous. I need to rest my sore body, and take a little break. And eat!! This whole “skipping a diclectin” business only works when I snack a lot, and I just haven’t had the chance today!

We have a nice low key evening ahead. A friend is dropping by to pick songs with us for leading music on Sunday, but we’ll just chill in the living room together and leaf through our big music binder. I’m anticipating that, and then a soak, because ooooouch!!!

Happy Tuesday, friends!

We’re back!! I’m sad it took me so long to start this series, but last week felt great, and I’m happy to get another shot at a blog series depicting a pregnancy! I know not everyone is able to carry a pregnancy, and no one is entitled to have a baby. Trust me, I know this. And I am SO grateful to be able to carry this baby, for every day I am able. I saw someone ask a question the other day online that really motivated me to put my best foot forward in this situation. She asked the mothers who were currently pregnant after a loss how they felt about the next year. Did they feel anxious, or hopeful? Obviously, I feel both. I would be lying if I said I didn’t. BUT, I want to focus on HOPE, because I want my Bambino to be born to a family who has celebrated them all along the way, and has been excitedly anticipating their arrival, rather than living in fear and dread and expecting the worst end result. I want my heart open. You’ve heard me wonder many times whether one can protect their heart while leaving it open, and for me at least, I just don’t think I can. Maybe, in this case, it has to be all or nothing. I am not ignorant to what could happen. No siree. I am far too aware of what losing a baby would feel like. But I want to celebrate with no inhibitions. I want my baby born into hands that have been itching to hold them, not hands that are fearful and shaky and weary. I don’t know, guys. Goals. Lots rolling around in my mind these days. Let’s dive in.

Size comparison: I struggled (not seriously) with this weeks size comparison last time around, too, because the app I like to follow for this particular information says the baby is the size of a house mouse 🤮 I am NOT a fan of mice. It also suggests a beet, but I feel like beets vary in size, and I also don’t like them. And I REALLY like this baby ❤️ So I did a quick google search and was told the baby was approximately the size of a lemons. And I really like lemons! So I’ll take it. Roughly 3.5”, apparently. I have an ultrasound later this week so maybe I’ll be able to tell you the size more accurately in a few days. But this is the best I know for now! Lemon baby.

Appointments: I saw Dr. Guselle last week Thursday, on the 4th. As I said last time around, I’ll be seeing her every other week, and on the alternating weeks, I’ll go for ultrasounds. Its all just surviving the upcoming weeks until I can start feeling movement, and then some of this will slow down. As long as I can hack it, which I really hope I can.

How am I feeling emotionally: On one level, I feel really good. I hesitate to mention it because I know its controversial, but I have home doppler for listening for baby’s heartbeat. Now I KNOW it could get sketchy if one day I can’t find it, and then I panic and insist on seeing a doctor, and all of that. Trust me, I KNOW this. Thats why I’ve been so hesitant to bring it out. That being said, I bit the bullet and tried it out the other day, and was able to find baby’s heartbeat right away!! I followed the baby as it floated across my abdomen, and just breathed it in. It was a huge relief, and my emotions could lift a little. But, real talk. These coming weeks are big and scary in my heart. I was 16.5 weeks along when I found out Jamin had passed away, but he measured 14.5 weeks. Now, without getting too “icky,” that doesn’t mean thats exactly when he passed. Its entirely likely he died a bit later than 14.5 weeks, but got a bit smaller over time. Ugh. I hate thinking about this kind of thing so logically, but thats just where I am. All of this being said, I’m not sure I’ll breathe much easier until we are fully past the point where we lost him, found out he was gone, etc. I want to see/hear him at 14.5 weeks, and very much at 16. 5 weeks too. I know there are never any guarantees, but passing that milestone feels big. Frankly, all the weeks feel like milestones that we’re trying to prevail through. These ones just feel particularly heavy.

How am I feeling physically: My nausea is well on its way out!! For at least a week, I’ve been forgetting to take my afternoon diclectin, with no real backlash!! If I don’t eat well in the day, I do feel sick by the end of it, but its well within my control. I think I’ll go another week or so without afternoon meds and then start weening off the rest. Woot! Besides my nausea, my pelvic pain and reflux still mean business, but I’ve been stubborn about not calling my physiotherapist, almost like its admitting defeat. My doctor asked me last week if I had been in touch with her yet, and I said I hadn’t, and that I was just too angsty. She laughed at me and said “Well, that’ll show ‘em…” and she’s totally right. I have it written down to make that call today. And to possibly see my chiro in the meantime, because my lower back is piiiiissed.

Wish List/Purchases: I was online shopping a bit with baby in mind over the last couple of days. But that’ll be more fun when we find out the gender, so I’m holding off 🙂 The things that are actually more necessary to purchase are a bit bigger, and I’m pretty gun shy on them :/ So they’re on hold for now.

Pictures: I’ve been doing this picture thing all wrong, haha! I posted a belly picture a few days ago. I’ll get better at it, I promise! I just haven’t felt totally confident with how things are looking just yet. I’m looking forward to my belly being tighter/harder with baby, and less soft and squishy, lol!

How are the kids feeling: If you remember, we’ve watched “Storks” with the kids a couple of times recently. Dekker verbalized his feelings so clearly to me by pointing out why he said he loved the movie. “I love that everyone that wants a baby gets one. They just…get one! I hope we get one too. Except storks don’t actually bring them…” The thoughts went on from there, but I love how his heart wants our family to grow, too. As an aside, my doctor asked how the kids were feeling about me being pregnant again, and she complimented us on talking to them about our losses, and how healthy it is to let them learn to grieve with us, and then get excited with us, too. That was so encouraging to me and my mama heart. I like that my doctor cares about more than just the general physical health of the baby in my womb, but the emotional health and stability of my entire family. She wins every prize.

Get to know the new baby: Our baby is not a fan of being poked with the doppler 🙂 Not in an angry way, but they always swim away from it. Any time we’ve found it (whether myself or Dr. Guselle) baby is actively trying to get away from it. Maybe baby isn’t put off by being poked, but is rather just super duper busy in there! Bambino has never been sleeping or still during an ultrasound either. Since they were old enough to move, they have been! When the baby was basically a stump with legs, those legs were bouncing. I like to think the baby is really active and excited. I cannot wait to feel those kicks and bounces myself. Remind me of these things when I’m aching from being kicked in the ribs day in and day out 😉

Best part of being pregnant: Easily, the most exciting part of being pregnant this week was finding the heartbeat on my home doppler! We took a video of it to remember it, and I wanted so badly to post it on Facebook and Instagram, but I didn’t want to deal with the inevitable nay-sayers, haha! Maybe I’ll finally put it on YouTube and put it on here another time, so only you guys would know it was there 😉 We’ll see. But that was the BEST part of being pregnant this week, hands down.

Baby item recommendation/favorite thing: I could talk about a lot of things that are favourites of mine recently! I’m STOKED about our new diaper pail, but I already kind of gushed about that the other day. Seriously though, Ubbi diaper pail ALL the way! But I think my favourite for today is obvious. Its my doppler! This is NOT me saying everyone should get one of these, because it might not be smart for everyone to have one. Do your research, and make sure you wouldn’t become a crazy person with it 😉 My advice, anyway. I bought mine back to celebrate our fifth pregnancy the first time I got pregnant with our fifth, meaning I bought it right towards the end of 2016, before I lost anyone. Probably, if I didn’t already have it, I wouldn’t buy one now. Because, anxiety. But, I have it, and used it like the day after an appointment, so I was confident in the heartbeat being there, and it was. I think I will only use it at times like that, like the day before or after an ultrasound or appointment, just to keep my heart safe. But the details are, I got this thing for dirt cheap off of AliExpress, and it works really really well!! Like it doesn’t feel like junk. If you were to hypothetically get one for yourself, the resale value is there 🙂 Just saying. Lots of people are on the hunt for these things, and they’re hard to find locally.

When you’ve gone through nervous times, what have you done to curb your anxiety? Care to share any solid coping mechanisms with this nervous Nancy over here? I try to be as self aware as possible, which helps me a lot. That way, I don’t bottle anything too long, and therefore I don’t usually explode in panic. Besides that, writing blogs is therapeutic for me 🙂 And to take control of my awful biting/picking/finger destroying habits, I’ve started to get my nails done, and that has been amazing!! Not only do I not bite and rip at my fingers anymore, but its way harder to pick at other places on my body, like scratches, zits, or ingrown hairs. I am in far less physical pain, and that has been a huge relief! What do you guys do to keep yourself in control when you find yourself easily falling out of control?

School is about to start back up! I can’t believe it! Its been a beautiful stretch of sleeping late, eating special food, snuggling with the kids a lot, and taking it easier in general. I have thoroughly enjoyed the two week stretch of fewer responsibilities and less deadlines, it will be good to get back into the swing of real life.

As my nausea lifts, I’m less of a zombie and therefore, haven’t been sleeping as deeply. With my schedule so backwards with being on holidays, I anticipate I’ll be pretty wiped in the beginning, getting the kids up shortly after 7:00 each day, but I hope that will help me sleep better at night! Thinking of the kids, I think they’ll be excited to get back into their usual routine of school, preschool, and kids club. Routine is a beautiful thing, even though we have loved the freedom to do what we want, whether its fun outings, morning movies, etc. I won’t complain about either option.

Tomorrow, Dekker will go off to school and I’ll take the other kids with me to spend the day at my moms. Brady will be home, spending another day framing our basement, hopefully coming to the end of finishing that up!! There’s not too terribly much left to do, and all the material is there, so we’ll see how it ends up. I’m so excited to have another framing day over here! One day closer to a finished basement 🙂 Our timeline for the basement has been pushed back so many times, for lots of reasons, but I would LOVE to have it finished in 2018. Eventually, we’re going to need the extra bedrooms, haha! But likely not for a while 😉 Its just getting a touch tight upstairs here…

We were going to try and duck out to the walking tour of the Enchanted Forest Christmas Lights Tour tonight, but I just know it would end up being a late night, and I don’t want to do that to Dekker’s teacher the night before he goes back to school! I imagine thats a pretty crazy day for everyone regardless!! A low key evening it is 🙂 Reality starts tomorrow.

Its a strange day around here. We’re putting away the Christmas tree, for one thing. We’re probably considered late to that game, but we love having our tree up, as do the kids. Its festive and happy. But, its January, so its time.

That being said, we can’t fathom taking down all of Christmas yet, so we’re leaving the trees above our cabinets up, and ALL the lights! We’re just suckers for Christmas, and twinkly lights, and pretty things. And its not even just me! Brady is more determined to keep the trees up for a while longer because “they’re wintery, not necessarily Christmasy.” I’m on board with that. And an apology to our neighbours, but our outdoor lights stay up year round, and will probably still be on in the evenings. Old habits die hard. We LOVE our outdoor lights.

As we were making plans to take the tree down, we realized we still have gifts under it!! With picking names between our kids and their nieces and nephews, and then amongst ourselves and siblings, we have a few gifts left to give! Its just been a crazy season and we haven’t connected with everyone yet! Whoops! So it might be a day to drive some gifts to their rightful owners, or at least very soon! It feels a little bit backwards to put Christmas stuff away while there are still presents to hand out.

We spent the morning being productive as well, finally moving the clothes that are too small for Rowan into Solly’s closet, putting Solly’s little clothes away, and getting the 3T tub out for Rowan. The little boys finally fit their clothes!! And can I say that I LOVE that Ro and Solly are just one size apart? Its SO easy, and cute. Ro is chunkier than Solly, but Solly is so stinking tall, it kind of evens out. So, that got taken care of, to the background music of “The Greatest Showman.” Oh. My. Goodness. What a powerful movie!! If you’re pro-musical, I highly recommend it! I’ll leave you with a little live “practice,” since I can’t get any real song clips off of YouTube. I’ve been listening to it all morning, and that will likely continue throughout the day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLFEvHWD_NE

Crazy, crazy stuff. Good music adds SO MUCH to the day!

Wish us luck taking down Christmas!

I mentioned it briefly the other day, but in case you missed it, I have a list of movies that I watch it every pregnancy! Perhaps I’m the only person who has one of these. Just me? Cool. I have a very loving, tolerant husband who will watch chick flicks with me if I ask, but being pregnant is my excuse to watch all of the sappy, baby-having movies that I want, and he endures them with me 🙂

I have happy memories of staying at our little rental cabin. Brady and I spent a lot of time in the basement, assembling the cabinets for our new house, watching through my pregnant movies. We were actually going through a bit of a rocky stretch of our marriage at that time, with a decent amount of silence and apologies. Yet I still remember it as a somewhat happy time, because we had our lighthearted movies playing, we were working together, and getting excited about our new house and our baby together. There was definitely love there, still.

However, I believe that was the last time we watched pregnant movies. I’m excited to crack them out again when I’m feeling a little bit more ballsy. I thought it would be fun to share the list though, in case anyone wanted to get excited about babies with me!

In no particular order…

Storks

In case you had missed it, I am SO smitten with this movie right now, and kids movie or not, it was quickly added to my list of pregnant movies. Not that anyone is pregnant in it, but its about uniting children with their families, and its just so heartwarming. And let’s be real. I LOVE that the babies have multicolored hair. I wish they actually came that way, because I’m pretty sure it would be frowned upon if I colored my infants hair…

Juno

So some people really boycotted this movie when it came out, saying it encouraged teenaged pregnancy. It is centred around a teenaged pregnancy, yes, but I personally wouldn’t say it glamourizes it at all. Its not a super deep movie, and I probably like it more for the music and Michael Cera. Its not perfect, but definitely a movie that can play in the background and I enjoy it anytime I pay attention to it.

Baby Mama

I feel like this movie happened and just got passed over by most as another comedy added to the pile, but I have always found this movie hilarious. It stars Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, so already, you have that going for you. I find it super quotable and hilarious. Quite lighthearted, too, and when conflict does arise, its always rectified pretty quickly and easily. Its definitely not a serious movie, but its an easy watch, which seems to be kind of a prerequisite for me when it comes to baby movies.

Three Men and a Baby/Three Men and a Little Lady

These ones will take you back, haha! The first is about three men who share a huge apartment and lead busy lives who suddenly have a baby left on their doorstep. Its pretty charming to watch them struggle through the motions of figuring out a baby for the first time ever, only to have her mother show up suddenly and want to take her back. The sequel goes on with the story, with the little girl being a bit older. Its less of a “baby” movie, obviously, but if you’re watching one, you can’t not watch the other!

What to Expect when You’re Expecting

This movie is worlds apart better than the book, so if you hated the book and haven’t seen the movie, I strongly encourage it!! This is probably my favorite of all the pregnant movies on my list. It follows a handful of stories of people building their families in all different ways. Its actually very well done, in my opinion, with a hilarious cast and a lot of relatable content for those of us who already have kids. The very best part is probably the group of dads that get together weekly and just talk family. I LOVE a movie that jokes about the stereotypical trials of having kids, but will still confidently say that they wouldn’t have their lives any other way. “I love my kid so much, I’m afraid I’m going to eat him.” Thats how I feel, too 🙂 It is SUCH a heartwarming movie, with lots of humor and emotion in it, too.

Away We Go

This is the  movie I almost forget about, but then am SO relieved when I remember it, because it is just so beautiful. The lead characters are John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph, both of whom I really enjoy watching! Its a bit of a quieter movie, where the couple struggles to root somewhere, and figure out where to build their life with the baby they’re carrying. Some of this movie is sad and hard, but no one said trying to have kids was easy. I really love the beauty in this movie, as its less “Hollywood” than the others on the list. Be a little bit warned, though, the first scene isn’t kid-friendly at all, and does not depict the tone of the rest of the movie!

***

Ok guys, I believe thats it for my list!! I always found time to watch the movie “Babies” on Netflix, too, but its no longer on there :/ Too bad. Lucky for me, I love the list I still have 🙂 Do you have any to add? I’d love to know what I’ve forgotten! We all know pregnancy brain cannot be trusted…

I’m not sure if I added what I got for Christmas to our present report, but I got Curlformers! They’re these cool curlers that are already in a spiral, and you pull your hair through it and sleep/wait/whatever you want to do until you pull them out and you have these beautiful curls without damaging your hair with heat! I’ve been eyeing them for a couple of years already, and I finally got them for Christmas!!

I put them in last night with my hair damp from a shower, as directed. I know. I looked great.

Sooooo stylish. I threw a shower cap on in hopes of keeping them all contained and being able to sleep.

Lesson one. That was a mistake.

Sleeping was tricky. Because I wanted the loosest curls possible, the curlers were wider, and remained fairly structured, to maintain the round curl. It all makes sense, but they weren’t soft, and didn’t compress well when I lay down. It was a weird, crunchy sleep, and I could NOT have handled it if not for the shaved side of my head! At least I could sleep on that! But with my sore pelvis and legs, I roll over a LOT, and couldn’t really sleep on my right side worth anything. So it was tricky.

Upon waking up for the day, I took out my curlformers and my hair was actually looking beautiful! Until I reached the few that were at the very crown of my head. They were the most covered and contained by the shower cap, and as I’m sure you could guess (but I didn’t have the foresight to see) they were still quite wet. And WOW were they not kidding that they HAVE to be completely dry to work. The dry curls were gorgeous and bouncy, but the slightly damp ones were just nothing. Not curled whatsoever. Just hangy hunks of wet hair. It couldn’t be saved, as I had somewhere to be, so we ended with a messy bun. Which is fine, really. It works, too. And it got me to take a belly picture, so that finally happened.

Not the result I hope for from future use of these curlformers, BUT I have two solutions I’m thinking I’ll try again soon!

Solution one: I’ll find some kind of cotton, breathable cap to wear over them while I sleep. That way there would be a better chance of my hair still drying, or the cap maybe even absorbing some of the water away. Might be softer to sleep on too than a crunchy plastic cap.

Solution two: I might fare better putting them in after a morning shower and having pretty curls for the evening. I’m happy to have them loose and soft, so even second day (or let’s be real, third day) waves would be more than enough for me!

I’m sure one (or both) of these solutions will be helpful soon 🙂 Because the ones that worked REALLY worked, and were so so pretty! But I felt decently pretty and put together when I was out and about this afternoon, doing a quick grocery shop and meeting with my doctor. As a side note, the baby is alive and well 🙂 The heartbeat was easy to find, had a really good speed to it, and my measurements showed my uterus continuing to grow! Win for today, for sure.

I’m heading out again soon to go on a date with Jerilee, which I’m super looking forward to. So far the day has been pretty great, and it appears it will continue to be that way! I hope you’re all enjoying the day, too. The last few days of Christmas break!! Crazy that school is about to start up again!