I’ve often said that if we all agreed on everything, the world would be boring, because we’d all be the same. Its totally fine that we all do things differently, think differently, and disagree from time to time.

I am aware that the world is bigger than my family, but since you’re here, on my blog, thats the perspective I’m going off of today.

I don’t want to write a long, cliche post about the things that people have said about big families, or about my family, but I’m going to dip into it just a little. Over this last weekend was the first time I really felt offended by the comments of a stranger. And I’ve heard a LOT of things. Some are kind of rude, but for the most part, I think people are just kind of shocked, and accidentally say the wrong thing.

“You guys are crazy! I could never do that!” Thats never hurt me. I know they mean that they just can’t picture how the busyness of many kids would look in their own life. Its FINE!

Then there are the very standard comments that some people are offended by, but I really don’t understand why.

“You’ve sure got your hands full!” They’re not wrong! I do! They’re full of wonderful things, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but yes, my hands are FULL! Why are people so offended by this?!

Then there are the jokes. People think they’re SO original, lol!

“You know what causes that, right?” In fact we do! And clearly we’re good at it!

“Are you going for the record?” You aren’t, thats for sure! What are you, a quitter? (To be clear, this one was saved for someone I knew 😉)

The closest I’ve ever come to being offended by those comments was being asked if they all had the same dad. I’m not even sure “offended” was the right word. I was more amused that a stranger would ask me such a question! As if it was their business! If I remember right, I laughed and said something along the lines of “Whoops! Probably shouldn’t ask that!” Lol! How would knowing that piece of information benefit them at all??

And then there was this woman at Superstore this weekend. She barely said anything to me, but it rubbed me SO wrong and I haven’t been able to shake it off since.

We were lined up, putting our groceries on the conveyer belt to check out. There was a woman bagging her groceries on the close side of the aisle, so Brady had to sneak the cart and the kids behind her and around her cart at the end of the aisle to get situated on the other belt. I waited over by the cashier to pay. He politely excused himself past her, and she commented on how he had his hands full. He smiled and said that we do! I laughed a little as I watched Dekker and Laela scrap over pushing the button to get the belt moving. The woman in the close aisle hadn’t noticed me, and upon looking over at me, stares at me in surprise!

“My goodness you have another one!” she exclaimed, pointing at Wavy in the carrier. I laughed and said something, I don’t remember what exactly, confirming that yes, we had another.

And her smile got suuuper fake, then faded, and she said “Ha!… stop…”

I looked back at her for a moment. We just kind of stared at each other. It was so uncomfortable. I finally answered back “Ha… No.”

I looked away and burrowed my face into Wavy’s hair and kissed her head. When I looked up a few seconds later, the lady was gone. I wish I had watched her a little bit longer to see her reaction to my response, but I was so caught off guard. Its probably good that I didn’t, actually.

“The size of my family is none of your concern.”

“You don’t have to be responsible for them, I promise.”

“Wow, that was pretty rude…”

“Leave my family alone, crazy grocery store lady. My children affect you literally not at all. You’re not watching them, paying for them, raising them, shuttling them, or keeping them alive. They add ZERO extra work to your life. You will likely never ever see them again. So shut your ridiculous mouth on the subject.”

That last one probably would’ve been an overreaction…

I’m usually kind of prepared for awkward comments people make towards by family, but this time around, I had nothing. Because she wasn’t being friendly. She didn’t mean well. The air was just different. Even though the conversation was five seconds long, it sat heavy with me for the rest of the day, and continues to nag at me a little. Which is probably why I’m writing it here. To just get it off my chest.

I’m not naive to the fact that people who have no kids get a whole other kind of flack. There are tactless, opinionated people in every avenue, about every avenue. I try to let things roll off my back as smoothly as possible, because my gosh it is SO EASY to offend people these days! I’d so much rather give people the benefit of the doubt. But THIS, I did not like.

I will never NOT feel protective of my children. I’m probably one of the safer people to say the wrong thing around, but if you want a real discussion, you’ve got one.

Aaaaand end rant!

Wavy finally gave us some good sleep last night after at least a week of choppy two hour stretches, thanks to her stuffed nose. It was such a relief. Brady and I slept like rocks. When it was time to get up, Brady offered to get the kids and I went downstairs to pull some laundry out of the dryer. I sorted what had accumulated in the last couple of days, just so I didn’t have to later. When I came upstairs, my mom was over, bearing two pans of her delicious homemade cinnamon rolls!

We spent the morning together, eating said cinnamon rolls, with bacon and eggs as well. We drank coffee and chatted for a couple of hours. It was relaxed and sweet and exactly how I wanted our last day of this holiday weekend to look.

When breakfast was finished off, Brady took our eager little children up to our storage closet. They came back to the table positively BEAMING, holding a gift bag in my direction. They were positively twitching with excitement!

My kids had been disappointed that they didn’t have the opportunity to get me a gift for my birthday this summer. They were sad, and I was sad because I know they had mentioned it a lot and were looking forward to it. Today was finally their chance, and their excitement showed blatantly on their faces. Brady told me, upon the presentation of my gift, that the kids hadn’t been able to select the exact gift, but they had given Brady directions, and were happy with his choice.

My kids know what I like 🙂 I got this beautiful fresh mug, along with a couple of beautiful little birthday notes from the kids. Brady also rented me an instrument to try and learn on, with the intention to buy it after a few months if we love it. So thats something fun to anticipate, too!

It was a really sweet morning, and a nice quiet nap time shortly thereafter. Reality strikes again tomorrow, but I hope you all finish off your holiday weekend with loved ones like I have.

Thanksgiving 2018 looks a whole lot brighter than Thanksgiving 2017. I was SO broken last year at this time. I’m quite a bit more “assembled” this time around, though not in the same way as before. I’ll never be the same as was before losing my babes, but thats ok. I hope I continue to grow and change constantly. I have a lot to be thankful for, and while I could list and list and list, I’m going to focus on one specific thing today.

I am thankful for Waverly’s curly hair. But not for the reason that you think. Hear me out.

When I was pregnant with Wavy, I was so scared for her to die. I prayed unceasingly for her to live, that she could come home with us at the end of everything and join our family in person. Finding out she was a girl was exciting, but it really kind of felt irrelevant at the time. Sure, having another girl was something we hoped for at some point, but I honestly had no preference at the time. Not even a secretive “Well if I could choose…” preference. I JUST wanted a baby that was living and breathing and healthy and could come home with me.

And then there was one time that I was praying for Waverly, and I let myself dream a little, and I prayed for her to have curly hair. How amaaazing would that be?! Right away, I felt foolish, because I really didn’t care what her hair looked like, or if she had any at all, or any of that shallow, unimportant stuff. I just wanted her to live. That was all! I never prayed about her hair again.

But God heard, as He always does. And he threw me a bone. My little girly was born with curly little locks.

In the recent weeks and months, I’ve been working harder to trust God with different things – more things, bigger things – than maybe I have in the past. Not all too long ago, I was so upset over a situation not playing out how I had expected. I should add, this situation was fully unrelated to Waverly. And in a moment of frustration, into my head popped the thought “Your daughter has curly hair.” I wasn’t sure what made me think of that right away, but it didn’t take long.

GOD! HE LISTENS!! TO EVERY SINGLE LITTLE DETAIL!!

I feel like God gave me Waverly’s curly hair as a reminder that He is listening to me. He knows about the little petty garbage that I feel dumb praying for, or the things I’m afraid to say out loud. He knows my desires, and He wants to give me the desires of my heart, even when they’re little. God is on Team Hailey! This seemingly small realization has talked me off a ledge of number of times already, and I’m so grateful for it.

I hope you can all find something special that you’re thankful for this year! If its a difficult Thanksgiving this year, I challenge you to dig deep!! And share it in the comments, if you feel so inclined!

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!

Guest Post!!

Breakfast Sandwiches.

These are a yummy little treat that I’ve been working on for a few years now. They started out quite primitive as a very basic omelette folded to fit on some toast topped with cheese. Yummy for sure but not the decadent delight they’ve come to be today. 🙂

I’m going to try to be quite detailed here but I apologize ahead of time if I leave something out. Here goes.

*****

Start by frying the bacon. I like to keep it on the chewier side as opposed to crispy for the sake of fitting it on the sandwiches later. Also, if I’m making more than two sandwiches then I only fry half the bacon at first.

Once the bacon is mostly cooked I start to cook the eggs. I like to add salt & pepper to a single egg in a bowl and whisk thoroughly. Once the pan is preheated nicely and the butter in the bottom is bubbling a bit, I place the silicone egg patty thingies in the pan. Then I pour a single whisked egg into each one and let them cook.

As the bacon finishes frying I pull it out and set it on a plate for later. Leave the bacon grease in the pan and place the first halves of the english muffins face down in the pan to fry in the bacon grease for just a couple minutes until they’re a crispy, golden brown on the inside.

Around this time the eggs are about 3/4 of the way done cooking through. With just a light layer of uncooked egg on top, I remove the silicone rings and flip the eggs.

I then place a layer of cheese and bacon on the eggs and wait another minute or two for the egg to finish cooking and the cheese to melt. Once the eggs and first halves of english muffin are cooked, I place them on a plate like this.

I then start the process over for the second round of eggs and second halves of the english muffins.

When everything is cooked I plate them and serve them with a side of the extra bacon. 🙂

These go great with a cup of coffee in the morning or a nice cold beer for supper.

Enjoy!

Its easy for me to pick fall apart and be grouchy about it. It means winter is coming, cold is coming, icy roads are coming, etc. I can be pretty pessimistic about the whole thing. Especially in the last few years, I feel like we don’t get much of a fall anymore. It goes straight from warm to cold, with so little in between. The days of leggings and cute boots and chunky scarves seem to have flown south, and we go from summer wear to hoodies and toques and mitts at least. Maybe its just me. Maybe I’ve gotten soft and just can’t hack the cold anymore. Maybe my tolerance for discomfort is lower. Or maybe the weather really has changed! I remember, when we had Laela, I felt like we went into the hospital in summer and came out into winter. It was SO much colder on the way out! Brrrrr! I feel like we haven’t had a “normal” fall since then.

And then there are these kids who find positives in everything.

Not only is fall pretty and colorful and festive. It also smells great, thanks to smelly markers.

Dekker says “Smell the sky, mommy. Doesn’t fall smell yummy?”

I admit, I’d far rather just enjoy his fall picture than have to go outside in the chilly weather, but its good to push sometimes, too. These kinds of pictures give me hope for the season to come. If they can find beauty in everything, I have that ability too!

Thanks, Dekker, once again.

On a normal day, I’m a home body. I’m so happy and comfy in my home, so when the snow flies, or threatens to, or its just a bit crappy outside, I am inside. In my books, winter is not for building snowmen or going sledding. Its for hot chocolate and blankets. (Don’t worry, those of you who are worried for our kids getting fresh air! Brady LOVES winter 😉 So taking the kids outside is more his gig.)

Because I hide inside for the most part, I guess I’m sometimes out of the loop on the weather. This morning in particular, I woke up WAY colder than usual. I’ve always felt colder than most people around me, but I also used to be stubborn as a mule about wearing flip flops in snow, capri pants late into the fall, etc. These days, I’m WAY more proactive about my temperature. Today, I’m wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, and socks! And I’m FREEZING! I have goosebumps on my arms and legs. My nose is cold to the touch. So are my toes. Is it really that much colder than yesterday?? Its 22 in here today, and the furnace is running fine!

Thankfully, the coffee is hot, and the snuggle blankets are nearby. And snuggle buddies also don’t hurt!

Rowan is rocking a shirtless morning, like pretty much every morning, and Solly is pants free. I guess its safe to say I’m on my own cold little island! If Wavy were awake, I’m sure she’d vouch for me. She can appreciate the warmth of being a burrito. I should take my cue from her and be a burrito, too.

This is me focusing on some cute little positives! I’m feeling a touch overwhelmed about a few things, and I’m having a hard time looking past them. Yet I have SUCH a great little bundle of kiddos, and I have a picture of each and every one of them from this morning! That does not always happen, so I figure its worth sharing 🙂

This little one is at that totally endearing (albeit messy) stage where she’d rather smile than drink milk. She’s so happy and cute, yet every time she smiles, milk pours out of her mouth all over her. So thats fun, and not smelly at all. Its ok. Its completely worth the mess.

This kid’s bedhead game is STRONG!

Then there is this one, who should really never wear clothes when he eats. Today is was yogurt. Thankfully, this morning, I was lazy enough that I didn’t put a shirt on him. It worked out.

And then there are these. Hear me when I say I was SO disappointed when it was time to send him to school. I just wanted them to finish their book!! But they’re both anticipating reading the end of it together after school.

That last one doesn’t happen too often, but this particular instance was totally polite and complaint-free! Win!!

I love these kids. Even if I complain about them from time to time, or I share struggles with you, I hope you all know I would NEVER trade my life or the people in it for anything!!! I feel so fortunate.

My goodness, why does “three months” feel so significant all of a sudden? Waverly has been earthside for three months today, yet I can honestly tell you I scan back through her labour and delivery pictures almost every single day. I am SO fortunate to have that day captured in photos! I wish I had them for the previous children’s birth days, but I very much hope to have them taken for any future children we have. They’re just amazing! If you want to scan back through them like I like to, they’re all here on her birth story post 🙂

In the last week or two, I’ve noticed this specific picture. Yes, its a pivotal picture with her coming out of my womb and into the world, but I only just noticed my hands reaching out for her. I was just so so ready. I had abandoned holding up my legs, or Brady’s hand, or whatever I was doing. I wanted her!! And I have her. Finally.

Today was picture day for the little miss!

Wavy just keeps getting better and better! Though she has always been a total peach, she continues to floor me on the daily. Developmentally, she likes her little baby gym toy. She’s only smacked the toys hanging in front of her once or twice, but she spins the toys on the sides of it lots. She smiles all the time, and she laughs now! It takes a bit of work, but not too much. Tickling, little startles, bouncing her gently on a bed, etc. are all acceptable ways to make her giggle. Its SO fun! Just today, I was hugging her, and I squeezed her a little and I nibbled under her chin, and OH did she laugh! It was awesome!!

I should say, she’s beefed up enough that you can kind of squeeze her now! We weighed her a week or two ago, and she was 13 lbs 3 oz, but today when I weighed her she was 12 lbs 14 oz. So let’s just say she’s about 13 lbs. She rocks 3 month clothes, though the sleepers are a bit tight, height wise. She’s still consistently drinking 4 oz bottles, though occasionally she requires an extra ounce if its bee a good while.

Her drop in weight can easily be explained by her cold this month. She had a super little one right as school started, but only recently did it turn into that first yucky cold where babies can drink milk and breathe at the same time. Poor poor dear. We pulled out our trusty snot sucker last night and helped her breathe again. While she was NOT a fan, she handled it better than I would’ve, and was SO relieved! She slept way better after that, though to touch on her sleep quickly, she is a GREAT sleeper!! She gets up once a night, but has slept through more than a handful of times. Last night, she slept from 7:30pm to right around 5:00am. We cleared her nose, fed her, and put her back down, and she slept until just before 11:00am!!! And the night before, she slept all the way through. Sooooo she loves her sleep. We’re hopeful for her to really ace her nights once she’s not sick anymore. Wish her (and us) luck on that! Because we’d all love to sleep through the night again, and I’d love to touch fewer boogers in a day.

Her routine still isn’t really set. I feel like we’ve gotten less hung up on the new baby’s routine with each consecutive newborn. Some days, she goes to bed SO late because she’s just too pooped too late into the afternoon, and only wakes up at 7:00! The last few days, she’s been going down around 7:30, and has actually been sleeping nice and long after that! The 7:30 bedtime is our ideal, so hopefully it kicks around after the cold takes a hike! 🤞 She’s still little enough that routine isn’t a big deal, so if we have somewhere to be, we can wake her and go, and it doesn’t really mess anything or anyone up. She’s pretty user friendly. I can say that maybe the one thing we do that counts as a “routine” would be that we feed her when she gets up rather than every time she goes down for sleep. We obviously feed her before she goes down for night, but not as much before naps. We would never put her down hungry, obviously. It works out really nicely that way 🙂

She cried through her bath today, as usual, but she had to be all fresh and clean for her photo shoot! 😍

Ugh. I love her so much.

She is beautiful and interactive and pleasant and bright eyed and soft and warm and content and peaceful and a little opinionated from time to time 😉 She is a total answer to prayer, and she has brought healing in ways I didn’t expect she would, to myself, my family, and to others. Its been so exciting to watch her doing God’s work already, and I can’t wait to see the other ways He’s going to use her!

Praise the Lord for THREE MONTHS with Waverly!

Yesterday marked two months since I turned 30. I’d love to say that I’m loving it, but its been a weird time of transition. I’m still hoping I actually get some of that written out of these days but I honestly haven’t been able to nail it down yet. I know I feel iffy, and unsettled, but I can’t quite put my finger on the “why.” I’m working on it.

A friend mentioned to me right around my birthday that I should make a “30 life lessons” post, like so many people do on YouTube. At the time, I felt so crappy about my birthday that I put it out of my mind, but its crept back in recently, and I started my list. I’ve got it assembled now, so I figured I’d share it. My list for me! You don’t have to agree with any of it 🙂 I promise. Here they are!!

1. People are rarely trying to offend you. Oftentimes, people just say the wrong thing. I know I’ve done it. Give them the benefit of the doubt. If they are truly trying to offend you, you probably don’t need to be talking to them in the first place.

2. Its ok to be bored. Learn how to handle it. Better yet, teach your kids to learn how to handle it!

3. Honey mustard is the new ranch. Its delicious on everything! Except ranch is still delicious.

4. Grief will never leave once its there. It’ll change, and it’ll become more “normal,” but it’ll never fully leave. So make room for it, and continue living.

5. Take the risk and reach out to people you don’t know very well. They may think you’re a weirdo, or they may really need you. (This shoot was SUCH a gift to me. For reference, Cher and I did NOT know each other at this point in time!) 

6. Taking care of yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. You can’t pour from an empty cup!

7. You don’t have to solve other people’s problems when they share them with you. They’re not expecting you to. Just listen. Witness their life.

8. When you have a cold, splurge on the Puffs tissues with lotion. They’ll save you from a flaky nose. 

9. Don’t “wish” you could play with your style. Just do it. Even just once. Or many more times than just once…

10. If the whole house is quiet, put your feet up and rest. Doctors orders.

11. Winter tires are worth the extra money! Doesn’t hurt if your tire shop is the cats pyjamas either.

12. Vulnerability is GREAT, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

13. Pop music is also great. Embrace some of those guilty pleasure songs!

14. God WILL give you more than you can handle, but he won’t give you more than HE can handle, so if you have Him, you’re set.

15. Don’t wait for every detail to be perfectly aligned before starting something. Just start it! If its meant to be, it’ll all piece together.

16. Primer. Powder. Setting spray. Seriously, folks, take the time to set your makeup.

17. Stick to your convictions, even when it feels lonely.

18. STOP ALL THE COMPARING!! Giving someone value doesn’t devalue you. Believing someone else is beautiful doesn’t make you ugly. Pulling someone down will not lift you higher!

19. Find comfortable underwear and don’t compromise. Wedgies are for children in bathing suits on the beach.

20. Open the windows when it rains. Its the most cleansing sound and smell in the world!!

21. If you really want something communicated, be direct. Be straightforward. Don’t expect people to read your mind.

22. Have some form of baked good in the freezer so you’re ready for company at a moments notice.

23. Being afraid of something doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t do it. Oftentimes, quite the contrary. 

24. Be intentional when you make decisions, even the unpopular ones. Put real thought into them. If someone questions you, be confident and honest in your answers. But don’t be hard headed. You can be intentional and confident and still be wrong. Not everyone has to agree.

25. Don’t EVER say (or write/type) something about someone that you wouldn’t say directly to their face.

26. Have your “favorites” in order. Favourite color, food, movie, etc. They’re GREAT conversation starters with kids 🙂

27. Our plans are not our own. They’re just placeholders for whats actually going to happen. So plan away if it helps you feel better in the moment, but expect them to change. (Hahaha! Remember when we had a tiny car? Plans CHANGE!)

28. Have a good fitting hoodie and pair of jeans in your wardrobe at all times, no matter the season.

29. The people around you may receive love differently than you do. Learn how that looks and do those things! Not everyone wants a hug, but some people only want a hug. 

30. Motivation comes and goes, but self discipline is something we ALL have, ALL the time. Utilize it. 

Whew! Putting those together took real thought and work! I felt like I could tag a post I’ve written that would relate to each and every one of these, but seriously, who would go back and read all 30 posts?! While I’m feeling a tad identity-crisisy since my birthday, I’m trying to remember that its not about what I’ve done, or what I haven’t done, but about who I am at this point that truly matters. And while I’m not in any way all that, I think I’ve learned a lot in the last thirty years, and I can safely say I like myself more than I did ten years ago. I don’t care to relive my teen years, or my 20s really, so I guess its time to make my thirties awesomer! Please wish me luck, friends!

Share a life lesson with me!!

I can’t decide whether I’m surprised that Laela is already five, or that she’s not already a teenager. I’ll get back to you on that. As per usual, you can re-read her birth story here, if you want. She was my craziest, scariest, life changiest delivery ever, and it couldn’t suit her better! Of course it was her who was born like that.

Its been a FULL year! She’s changed so much, but not at all, really. She’s still delicate and playful and soft and silly and all the yummy things in between.

We spent the morning of Laela’s birthday at the zoo, just like we did for her first birthday.

It was a bit cold, and some of our group couldn’t make it, but it was still lovely and fun! The bears, monkeys, and wolves were the highlights! Post zoo trip, we went home for naps, and our guests rejoined us for a supper of perogies and sausage. We were hoping to attend our local fall supper, but most of the kids were completely trashed from the morning out in the cold, and it was better to keep things warm and at home.

Laela got an amazing haul of gifts. Sticker books, bath toys, paints and smelly markers, with more to open tomorrow. Brady and I got her a couple of pretty rings and a comfy sweater that I only wish came in my size!

In Laela’s five year old honour, Cher took some pictures of her the other day. The goal at the time was to show of a cute toque pattern that I had tweaked to make into a kids size, but in my opinion, it turned into a beautiful shoot to celebrate my first daughter, my Laela Hazel. I think I’m going to save those for a different post, because they’re just WAY too beautiful to be snuck in here at the end of post thats already filled with so many pretty pictures, but I’ll leave you with one that just happens to be on theme.

Laela. You are FIVE. You are both SO grown up and still SO little. My heart laughs with yours and hurts with yours. We are cut from the same cloth, my dear. I pray that you always love Jesus, and share him with everyone through that fiery personality of yours. Stay silly, stay warm, and stay honest, even when it sucks. Keep singing and dancing and writing those nice notes you always write. Thank you for being such a bright light in our family. I waited for my Laela for about twelve years, and you are the exact right girl for the name!

Happy fifth birthday, Miss Laela. I love you all the way to Heaven.