I think I’ve mentioned it before, but I have been working to make the kids toques for this winter. You may have seen a couple of them already, but here they all are, in one place 🙂 Now that they’re finally all done, I’m ready to show you.

They began back in summer. I made Dekker’s toque in August. His is the most plain. Bulky grey, very soft, with ear flaps, as per his request. He really likes it, and it does the job!

Laela’s is next. Hers was finished pretty recently. This is the third toque in a row that she has requested to be a cupcake. I went a little less obvious with this one, but she still buys it as a cupcake toque. If she ever just wanted it to be a toque toque, I would lose the cherry and add a pompom. Boom.

Rowan asked for a fox, yet again. I can’t find a picture of him wearing it where it doesn’t look completely wonky, so you’ll have to take my word for it. It is the cutest fox toque pattern I’ve ever seen. The nose dips down so nicely to keep his forehead extra warm, and it dips down by the ears, also. Its a total win.

Solly’s toque is the last one I finished, actually. He couldn’t nail down what he wanted, and I wanted him to choose because he is oddly specific about what he wears, and if he didn’t like his toque, I knew it would be a battle to get him to wear it. We settled on bananas, and I have no regrets! His toque is definitely bananas!

And I know I’ve showed you Wavy’s before. Strawberries. Its a little big, but she can wear a ponytail in there if she wants, and all is well. She likes it, and I like it, so all works out!

There you have it! Toques for all! I have made a couple others this season, too, but I’ll show you them at a later date 🙂 For today, these are all cute enough!

I love soup. I have always loved soup. So a pro of the colder weather is that its easier to justify soup more often. As things are pretty extra simple these days, we’ve been rolling with easy food, and that means we have grilled cheese and soup pretty often. Grilled cheese for all of us looks like this.

Twelve sandwiches usually does it. And then three tins of soup. We could probably do four. It seems like every time we have this, the kids want more soup. It used to be that only a couple of them would want soup, or they’d only want to dip in it but not actually eat it with a spoon. Now, we could pretty easily make more. Lately, we’ve actually been making more mushroom than tomato, which I never thought would happen! I’ve always preferred mushroom, but I’ve always been the only one. Now, I have a couple of kids on my side.

AND BRADY! Guys, this is actually huge. Brady is not a fan of mushrooms, though he is an adult and will eat them. But tomato soup was always his preference. However, when Brady lived at the hospital, he obviously ate different food, and now finds tomato soup too strong and too sweet. And he actually enjoys mushroom soup!! I love that!

Not too shabby, I’d say. Maybe you’d call this a cheater meal, because its easy and at least in this picture, there are no veggies to be seen. But take my word for it when I say easy food is a life saver, and everyone is full and warm and comfy after.

Thank you Lord for easy food that we can all agree on!

We dug out the winter gear for the kids the other day. Absolutely everyone has stuff that fits! The kids, that is. A winter jacket for Brady is going to be a whole thing to figure out now. Everything rides up funny in a wheelchair, and Brady won’t necessarily know if he’s cold, so we need something pretty specific. We’ll get there. But for the moment, the kids are set! Everyone has boots, a good warm jacket, snow pants that fit, a good stack of mini gloves, plus a good warm pair of mitts, and a new toque, c/o ME! I just realized I might not have showed you those yet! I’ll take pictures one of these days.

Aaaaanyway, I had to laugh the other day after a full afternoon of playing outside.

Our entrance, that used to feel like it was a fair size, is incredibly small nowadays. All of the kids’ fall stuff is still in the closet, because it literally just got snowy. Plus their winter gear. Plus Bradys and my shoes and boots and such. Plus whatever junk builds up. And now we have our mitt dryer over our one little vent in the entrance, by its little wall space between two doors, and that thing has been STACKED with boots like this.

No mitts though 🤣

Now add to that a wheelchair when Brady is trying to get somewhere.

And then try and turn around in that wheelchair.

Our next house will have a mud room. Mark my words. And it will have one of those big beefy boot dryer things, because there will be room for it.

Aaaaanyway, this is where we’re at. Everything is always wet, and in a pile, and being pushed around because there just isn’t space, so its all dirty.

And we’re, what, three days into the snow?

Don’t mind me. Just a newbie over here, feeling a tad pessimistic, trying to cover up all my worry and uncertainty.

If you can’t find me, I’m hiding inside, under a blanket, wearing two pairs of pants, planning out my Christmas cards 😍Are yoooooou on my list?

This morning, Brady headed out super early to get the winter tires put on the van. I will admit that I have substantial apprehension with him doing his first day out in winter conditions without me. I know he is capable, and I know I’m not his saving grace, but for the first experience, I just wish I was with him.

He said goodbye to me before he left, even though I was mostly asleep. He used to do this every day before work. I’d sometimes sleep through it completely, but usually I lulled a little and could feel loved a little bit extra before my day even began. Him coming and saying goodbye to me this morning left me feeling all warm and fuzzy. Very loved. Very nostalgic.

Once he had gone, I rolled over towards the centre of our bed, and I sprawled and stretched like a cat. And I didn’t bump into anyone. Because Brady’s side of the bed was empty.

And woosh! I was back to when he lived at the hospital. SO fast that happened. I have not jumped up in bed and flipped on a light so fast in a long long time. I hated remembering that time so vividly. I hated feeling how it felt. I hated how my body felt torn between comfort and dreadful loneliness. I had gone from such comfort to such sorrow in a split second, and I hated it.

So this brief stretch of day has already been quite the shakedown, but I will come through it. And so will Brady. He will make it home safe, and then we’ll have winter tires and I can worry even less!

God knows what we need.

Ok. So. It happened. It snowed. I’m not ready.

I know, its November. Everyone I’ve griped about it to has reminded me. Of course it snowed. I get it.

You guys who have followed for a while know I’m not winter’s biggest fan. I am usually cold, and when I get cold, I stay cold usually for the rest of the day. I don’t like the wet socks that come with winter. I don’t like my hair getting caught in zippers and velcro. I don’t like having foggy glasses. I don’t like driving on ice. I don’t like when the wind is so strong that it feels like I’m being stabbed between the eyes.

I am truly blessed to have spent the first ten years of my life as a parent with a man who LOVES winter. Brady lives for winter. He was our snow shoveller, winter driver, snowman roller, hill maker, kid tosser, sled puller, snowboarder, fun haver, winter man.

And now,

I have to be winter man.

And that thought alone scares me. It has snowed all of once this season and already, I anticipate great failure on my part.

This morning, my kids stood in front of the window as Tom dutifully, happily, made his way over to us, and shovelled off our ramp and sidewalk. I went out momentarily to start the van so I could drive Dekker to a friends for the morning, and Tom requested the snow brush so he could scrape the ice from our tall van windows. Instead of feeling guilty, I’m trying to choose to be grateful. We have been so well supported over this last year, and many others, but most evidently in the last stretch of change in our lives. People always say it takes a village to raise children, but my village didn’t leave once the kids seemed “good.” They stuck it out, and they continue to help as we learn about our new life circumstances.

Winter is going to be very new territory around here. Please be gracious with me. Its hard to be vulnerable and honest about these things. I fear judgement from others, and I fear hurting Brady’s feelings. But I want to also address how my heart feels. And right now, it is preemptively worried for the months ahead.

We don’t know how to do winter with a wheelchair. I don’t know how to do winter while being an excellent mom.

Please carry us in prayer.

As you guys know, we have developed a pretty dark sense of humor over here since Brady’s became paralyzed. Not in a super sad way, but rather we are rolling (wheelchair joke!) with our newfound circumstances.

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Its been an interesting learning curve as we are realizing what is and isn’t designed for wheelchair users.

Before I go much further, I want to clarify that I know that the range of disabilities is huge and to make everything accessible for everyone would be a GIGANTIC job!!! I don’t mean to say that everything should be perfect. It can’t be. We’ve just noticed some funny things along the way that us able bodied “uprights” wouldn’t even notice.

The very first one we ever noticed was in spring, when Brady and I could *gasp* go OUT together! And as the good, boring adults that we are, we hit up Walmart.

Foot pedal hand sanitizer. This is smart in terms of not touching things with germy hands, but its less effective for those whose feet don’t operate properly. Properate. Ha.

Oh and hey. In terms of not wanting to use your hands to touch things out in public, please don’t put the “door open” button with your feet. Consider that many people who that button was created for don’t have the luxury of using their feet, and have to use their hands. Use your elbow if you really need to. That goes for toilet flushers too. All that stuff. Think twice.

While on the subject of bathrooms, not all handicapped accessible bathrooms are actually accessible. We laugh in particular at the one on the main floor of City Hospital. To be fair, there is a perfectly accessible bathroom up by the rehab ward, and when Brady goes there for rehab, he can use that one. But the one on the main floor is awful. Brady is fortunate to be as mobile as he is, because he literally has to get up out of his wheelchair and leave it in the middle of the bathroom so he can get into the stall. A wheelchair cannot fit in the stall with the door closed. Believe it or not, not everyone in a wheelchair can stand up and carefully make his way around without it. Never mind the people who use catheters and such. Zero privacy for them.

Brady mentioned a new one to me today after he used a public washroom. I had never considered it! Think about when you wash your hands after you pee, and then you walk to the paper towel dispenser. What. If. You. Can’t. Walk. Then you have to roll there and your hands get all dirty and messy anyway! Gah!

Getting away from all the bathroom stuff now, consider curbs. In a mini mall, there is usually one ramped curb near a wheelchair parking spot. Sometimes its further, but sometimes its just right there. Today’s was my favorite.

We had a pretty good laugh and found a temporary aluminum one was in place nearby. Still, this was worth a giggle.

It costs SO MUCH to buy accessibility aids, and they’re often not even that strong :/

There is so much more to this, but this is all I have for you. Be reassured that we have laughed about every single one of these things, and most places have been incredibly accommodating thus far. We can still laugh…

because we may be more limited in some areas of our life now, but we also haven’t lost the most important things.

We continue to be overwhelmingly grateful for Brady’s life and the mobility he does have.

This isn’t over.

I’m sure you’ve noticed we’ve started another crowd funding event. I promise, this blog is to talk about other things, but just to address it all first, I want to thank you for taking the time to consider us. This all feels like an unreachable goal, yet we feel strongly about putting it out there and seeing what happens. We cannot see into the future, but the plans we have made thus far would make the house liveable for us literally forever. Barrier-free, widened doorways. Appropriate countertop heights. Main floor laundry. Appliances within reach. An accessible shower. Only ONE staircase leading to the basement, with a stair lift built in. An entryway and garage that are level with the main floor of the house. If I haven’t said it yet, yes, we need a bungalow, but we need an accessible bungalow. Not all bungalows were built for wheelchair users.

See me having a hard time switching focus? Thank you for your patience. We are eager, but we are perfectly aware that this is a HUGE ask. And still, we humbly ask.

Ok! The point of this all!

We’ve been spending the last couple of days in deep thought and planning surrounding the house, and I have been combatting anxiety the way I do most often – by crocheting! I can’t show you much, as I’m working on an order for a family member and I’m not sure what I can and cannot show publicly, but I can show you this beautiful texture! 😍

It has been so exciting to talk about possibilities and dreams while I create beautiful things with my hands. Crocheting just gives me life! I love it SO much, and while my brain is whirring constantly, I am working hard and its paying off. Its encouraging. Yet, with that, my room is a mess with projects I have on the go. I was going to post a picture of it but I lost the nerve, haha! Once this big order is filled, I’ll do a good solid tidy and then keep working on my other projects in the queue.

My brain is completely overloaded, but I am coping. Your warm comments and care help me feel sane and capable, so I thank you for those as we sit and wait

And wait

And wait

And wait

And wait

And wait.

We are becoming experts at waiting.

But everything is in God’s timing, not ours. And His way is the best way.

Cher here!

As some of you may have seen by now, there is a new gofundme up for the Borns. I just wanted to say: there is no pressure. This is a really huge deal and it’s been a long year for everyone. Please feel free to share it around. Brady makes less than half of their cost of living from CPP and he will lose disability if he is employed. That being said, the house they are living in is not ideal for a fulfilling life for Brady. Description below:

Earlier this year, Brady underwent surgery for a stage four cancerous tumor in his spinal cord, leaving his legs paralyzed. Now, in a wheelchair, as a lively young father of five with an incredible work ethic, Brady is challenged every day by physical household obstacles, limited independence, and a lack of accessibility aids.

After extensive research, phone calls, applications, and appointments, they have reached a dead end in their pursuit for building a forever home where Brady can age in. Hailey and Brady are unable to work around losing Bradys disability funding if he is employed. And since disability pays less than half of their cost of living, they have been advised to start a Gofundme for the next step.

It is important to Brady to be able to answer his front door, and access all parts of his home, so he can regain some independence. With three stair cases (as well as a long stair case to access the back yard from the deck), it is exceedingly difficult and time consuming for Brady to greet guests uppon arrival, or even grab something simple from his bedroom.

Building an accessible bungalow would improve the Borns’ quality of life as a whole, since Brady could participate frequently in normal, every day activities (like cooking, backyard activities, tucking kids in, and being able to come and go through his front door) without physical pain and exhaustion.

Hailey and Brady are overwhelmed with the amount of love, support, comfort, and prayers they have received this year. The level of help that was offered through meal trains, gifts of unmeasurable varieties, encouraging messages, and moral support left them astonished. Without you, this year would have been very difficult to say the least. God has taken such good care of his people.

On behalf of the Borns, Thank you for coming here and reading this. There is no pressure to donate. Please feel free to share this link where you see fit.

Bless you, and have a wonderful day.

https://gofund.me/257c2aa4

I’d love to know what kind of pictures you save as your “favorites.” Originally, when the idea of hearting a picture was new, I kept what I deemed as the best pictures of my kids. As you can imagine, that folder grew to be basically as big as my photo stream itself. I’m more selective now. While I’m not going to show you everything in my favorites folder, I’d love to recap what types of things I save there. And show you a little 😉

First, what I definitely won’t show you, is that I save information I need. Personal phone numbers added to business cards. Documents. Nothing actually big and problematic if someone happened across it, but stuff I wouldn’t just splash around online. I have pictures of the rental information at our lake spot. I have some crochet patterns that I’ve bought and taken screenshots of that I save there. I have the floorplans to the house we are dreaming of building. I even have a picture of our license plate on there for parking purposes at the hospital. (PS I wish paid parking lots had something like a punch card, where you could buy 30 full days of parking and the intake people would just punch a hole with every visit. Wouldn’t that be SO much better?)

I also save things that I think are funny. Bad jokes. Funny pictures. Humour. I’ll share my favorites 🙂

I’m trusting you guys already know how dry my humour is and won’t judge me for those…

I save some random pictures that are close to my heart.

The day Brady came home for an OT walk-thru that turned into a surprise home visit over suppertime

A winter walk with Cher

Those sandy feet, though! Our lake.

This picture reminds me that while so much has changed, so much is still the same. My heart loves this picture.

I save pictures of things I really want to crochet, whether I have a pattern for them or plan to just eyeball it. But I can’t show you those 😉 Obviously.

I save pictures of things I’ve already made that I’m either very proud of (ie blankets) or of things that I want to be able to kind of “advertise” that I make. Like cloths, scrubbies, potholders, etc.

And I have pictures that are waiting for future blog posts to share, so I will not spoil them on here.

I guess you could pretty safely say I use my favorites folder as my dreaming folder. Lots about crocheting. And blogging. And the house we can’t build. My heart aches to be able to accomplish so much. So much ambition, and not enough energy. 😅

What do you save in your favorites folder?

I won’t lie. Today has been pretty bomb. All credit goes to our dearly loved friends across the road. They shower our children with love always, but they have made a point this year to take the kids for a day on the weekend as often as they can 💜 Its a HUGE gift to us.

Today is one of those days. Rather than filling it with errands out of the house (which is not restful in the slightest) Brady, Cher, and I are all being productive in a different part of the house, hahaha! Don’t worry, we’ve got text chats going, so we’re basically all hanging out 😉

Brady is making insta content while he works on some projects in the garage. Have you seen how big his woodworking instagram has gotten?? Its SO cool! Tell your friends! @icantstand.woodworking

Cher is rocking a bunch of homework and studying. And it seems she is also eating a mars bar.

And I’m crocheting while watching some Atypical. I have completed some of the more nitpicky parts that I’m not able to do very well with people around me. Lots of counting. Some really tedious areas. Spreading out.

It has been such a restful day, and I am SO grateful for the gift of a kid-free time where we can all do things, feel productive, and accomplished, without distraction.

I hope you’re all having a relaxing Saturday 💜