Today has been a great balance of work and rest. We got some jobs done around the house, a few done at my moms house, some things delivered to different houses around town, some party mix made, some kids bathed, aaaaand a few other things, I think. It was a good, albeit tiring, day 😅

As the daytime peters out and I’m half tucked into bed as I type this, I am truly full of joy.

As Solly would say, “And can I tell you why?”

After our day seemed to be on its way to wrapping up so nicely, we were hit with a bit of a discouragement that brought some chaos and disorder to our peace. It was manageable, of course, but changed the plan and added a level of struggle. And we’re not exactly at level one on the struggle bus, so little added struggles sometimes feel monumental.

When the dust settled, I found my three kids who were still up – Dekker, Laela, and Rowan – playing cards in the living room.

Trust me when I tell you that I know this doesn’t seem like much. Except that this NEVER happens. My kids LIVE to read, which is cool, but also sometimes it totally sucks because they neverrrrrr talk! So, no joke, lately I’ve vetoed daytime reading. No more of it. Unless its for school, they don’t read in their free time. The only time today that I said they could read was before bed, because that is absolutely always the case. Before bed is wind down time, so reading is perfect!

And today, they opted to play cards. Only Laela really cares to play cards. The others are less interested. But they were all sprawled out on the living room floor, laughing like hyenas, playing cards. Kings Corner. I don’t know how to play, but Dekker taught them.

I know its small. I know this. But it filled my heart with gratefulness, and I want to remember that 💜

I’ve mentioned it before, but we were given a stair lift a few years ago. Someone had offered us one, but upon them turning it on to check it out, it didn’t run. They said it could be just a small simple wiring issue, but they really weren’t sure. Rather than working to figure it out and sell it, we found it plunked on our driveway the day we came back from the elementary schools performance of Frozen Jr two years ago. It didn’t fit the stair setup of our modified bi-level at the time, but we were very grateful and packed it up to see where we landed next.

Fast forward to moving last year. We had good plans to get the lift installed basically as we moved in, just so we wouldn’t have to later. Not that Brady needed it, per se, but we knew eventually he would, and why not have it in place before then!

But then had that seizure and messed everything up 🤣 And then brain surgery, and then all kinds of things, aaaaand now we’re here, super needing it.

A loving friend came and got the thing up and running recently, and even installed it in place!

And tonight, we officially cracked it out so Brady could go downstairs, and we could have a movie night 💜

Ok so I forgot to take a picture of Brady in it today, but Dekker rode it the other day 🤣

It was a little hands on getting him down there, lol! That wasn’t the lifts fault. We are still hoping to find a second beater basement wheelchair for him to move around in, but since we don’t have one, Dekker disassembled his chair, and he and I carried it down, piece by piece, overtop of Bradys head as he sat perched at the bottom of the stairs. It was definitely a bit of a labour of love, but we definitely love him and have no regrets 💜 It was very much worth it.

I am SO grateful for this lift. It means Brady can actually go downstairs where we can do fun things as a group where we fit a little bit better. We could not have it without the generosity of someone at Brady’s work, gifting us the lift originally, as well as that of a friend here in town who came on more than one occasion to get it set up for us.

Thank you LORD for consistently providing ALL we could want or need!

Radiation, chapter three.

We begged and pleaded for an earlier start date, and the cancer centre insisted we wait until this Thursday. We bugged further and spoke to our doctor who, in turn, spoke to Bradys radiation oncologist, and he was receptive to the information he received and said he would try to get Brady in on Monday or Tuesday rather than waiting.

No call Monday.

SO SICK Tuesday. Didn’t chase. Wasn’t worth it.

Wednesday was a better day. We had accepted treatment the next day. So naturally, since we had stopped pushing, Brady got the call for his first appointment to be that afternoon. Wednesday. Bumped up a single day. It wasn’t much, but it was something! He took the appointment slot.

Thus began radiation chapter three.

Brady is feeling well. He is eager to get the ball rolling, so it feels productive to be back at it. Not that he’s happy to be in cancer treatment. Of course not. No one wants to be in cancer treatment. But if we’re being blunt, the man has a lot to live for in spite of a really crummy diagnosis and outlook. So, to treatment he goes!

Most notable difference so far is the fact that he can no longer heave himself onto the bed for the therapy. They bring in a lift each time to put him on the bed and help him off. Yes, thats how much his function has changed. Which is wild considering it was SO recent that he was standing, sealing up the island top that is so vastly less exciting. Who even cares about that anymore?

*crickets*

Anyway. Radiation 2/25. The countdown is on. Debating whether or not to do a Facebook prayer countdown like last time.

God is BIGGER than cancer and STRONGER than treatment!! 💜

Yesterdays blog was cute, hey? The blogger was even cuter.

She was excited to write it up, and took it pretty seriously, asking about spelling, as well as how she could appropriately talk about the foster babies. She crushed it. 💜

I don’t often lay out our current illness quite so detailed, for fear of others being scared of us, but hey. Here it is. And thankfully, whilst violent, this one seems to run through pretty quickly. For sure for the kids. So no need to fear, lol! The worst is over.

Brady and I were both asleep before 9pm last night. When we got up around 6am to feed the Peanut, I was SO unbelievably dizzy, I bounced my way to and from the kitchen like a pinball machine. Brady took the hit for me, and got the kids up for the day while I kept sleeping. The dizziness did not end right there, but I was able to get up, eat and drink, and slowly find my feet again. I don’t feel 100% but significantly better. Like, over 80% I’d say. I even ate real food at lunch time, which is especially easy when people are bringing food left right and centre. Jayna, you set that bar HIGH with those pot pies. Yikes. The leftovers were delicious also. Thank you 💜

With the little bit of energy I’ve regained, I’m going to try to be mildly productive before the day is done. I’ve been able to crochet a tiny bit this afternoon while all the babies slept. It wasn’t long, as the Peanut is not settled these days, even less so than usual, but thats the baby I’m trying to make a blanket for! So I’ve worked a little on that, and shortly, I hope to put some things away that have been filling my island. I feel so much more sane when my island isn’t full to the brim.

Today turned out to be a surprisingly peaceful day. Likely in part to the fact that Brady was home, helping me manage the babies while my head was so woozy. Sometimes the best part of sickness is together time 💜

Ok. Unsettled baby alert 🚨 Gotta go!

Hi, there! Laela here! Today I get to type the blog! Mom can’t because she’s feeding the Peanut. Today I am writing about how our whole family caught the flu. It all started with Wavy. She barfed every day for… I don’t know, 3 days? Then the Spoonful caught it. The Spoonful is so nice when it’s sick. All it does is lie on Mom, drink water, and sleep. Then the Lemon Drop got a taste of it. It drinks very little water, and lies on Mom the rest of the time…well, if it’s not sleeping. It would barf every night.

Rowan was next. Apparently he barfed 6 times! Then, because I sleep with Wavy, I caught it today. I barfed only 3 times, but they were weird. My body worked really hard, but it didn’t all come out at once. While I was vomiting, Mom and Dad were too. I stayed home from school, and helped with the babies while Mom and Dad were sleeping on the couch. They must have felt so sick! Thank God tomorrow’s another day!

I don’t know how to make this post eloquently so I’m just going to lay it all out on here and hope it reads ok 😅

Sometimes its hard to post about whats going on when there is still so much up in the air.

Sometimes its hard to post what we need when we don’t know yet. Not only because our brains are still super swirly with all the new information, but also because Bradys’s function is still changing, so we don’t know what the end result will be and, therefore, we don’t know what his needs will look like.

Sometimes its hard to post because you are all SO QUICK on the draw to jump to fulfill our needs, which is incredible and humbling and just something I don’t even know what to do with 😅 It is truly a beautiful problem to have, believe me. I get nervous to post for fear that people think I’m hinting when I’m not.

Anyway. Caution to the wind. I can’t be bothered to sift through all of the details at this point so I’m just going to throw a bunch down.

Get ready.

Before all of these changes, Brady was meant to start up another chemo cycle this week. Tuesday, specifically. However, its been made clear that the course of chemo he was on was doing all kinds of squat, so we were told the plan would change. His standard pre-chemo appointment is today, so hopefully he actually sees his oncologist instead of whoever else, and hopefully they did, in fact, make a new plan. Not sure yet if he’ll do the five day cycle like he’s done for the last six months, or if they’ll do chemo daily along with his radiation like they did freshly after his brain surgery. Radiation is also supposed to start this week. We fought ALL last week to get things moved up timewise, and his current first treatment is on Thursday, but they did say last week they were hoping to get it started on Monday or Tuesday. So we should know today what the plan is for both schedules and treatment plans.

With Brady’s changes in function, his mobility is super different and a lot less. He has no use of his legs anymore. Like. None. He no longer wears the leg brace that helped him stand. He cannot stand at all. He cannot bear weight at all. He can’t sit up unsupported for long at all. His abs have quit. His legs have quit. His bladder and bowel function has also changed, so he has new supplies and systems in place to make that all run smoothly as well.

So with the total inability to stand, much is changing in our life. Brady got the last of the drawer handles placed in the island yesterday, and I’ve been reorganizing the kitchen so he can reach as many dishes as possible. No more wall cabinets for him! Today I’m hoping to move around the pantry so he can reach more things.

Ok. A couple of big dreams.

Getting Brady into the garage. Right now he goes down the ramp in the front and around into the garage, and that works well, but we definitely want him to be able to go into the garage. So we’re looking into funding through some programs to see if we can get a garage lift installed. If so, we’ll need to rebuild the entrance platform in there also, as it is not even close to level with the door. If and when this time comes, we need to clean out our garage. Lots will need to be hauled away, like the giant wood box the stove came in, and some old cabinets. We’re not quite ready for that. Warm weather will help.

Renovating our bathroom. This may not go down anytime soon, but as I said – it’s a dream. Brady can barely get into our bathroom. Its so teeny, which was fine when he could walk, but is next to impossible to make work when his chair has to come in with him. The chair takes up the bulk of the floor space in there, so getting to and from the toilet or the shower is REALLY challenging. It can be done, mostly, ish, but the dream would be to get a smaller vanity, move the toilet, and put a bunch of storage above the toilet. We can’t lose all the storage space, since Brady has lots of med supplies (ie catheters and everything that comes along those) that need somewhere to live. So. Thats the dream. New en suite.

Modifying our bus so Brady can get into it. I mentioned this yesterday. It is a lofty goal, but I do believe City Hospital rehab will have ideas and resources.

Smaller dreams.

Some accessibility things. We are thinking a LOT about the lake and how different its going to be. There are a few things that will make moving around on the gravel easier. A Freewheel is a pretty cool thing that I think we’ll bite the bullet on sooner than later. It lifts up the castor wheels in the front of the chair, but is still self propelled. The castors are what get caught on everything and have people falling out of wheelchairs. Brady also needs to order armrests for his chair. They would make transferring out so much easier. And grab bars/rails/handles to install in vehicles, also.

Needs.

We need to put grab bars up in the house. We have them, we just need to pick their spots and install them.

We need a railing on our front ramp, but that will come a little later after *drumroll please* our ramp is redone! 💜 Thats a gift we’ve been offered, which is gigantic and humbling. When the new ramp happens, so will the railing. We have purchased some of materials for the railing already, but since it will be much longer in the nearish future, we’ll have to snag some more soon. Thank goodness they stock it at Zaks!

We need to finish up the whole stove project, which was SO fun at the beginning and now just feels like something dragging :/ Which SUCKS. We have a range hood on order and when that comes, we have willing hands ready to install it and finish up the project. But man. Its a bummer its dragged the way it has and it feels a lot less fun now. Ah well. Still incredibly grateful for it 💜 Not every detail has to be exciting or thrilling.

Brady needs to finish the winch system he started building in his minivan. He had help getting it going, and he will absolutely still be asking for help to get it finished. Just have to prioritize.

Oddly enough, we need a wheelchair 😅 Hear me out. We had a loving friend come and get our stair lift installed and working, which is HUGE. Brady can actually be in our basement again. He could even tuck in the downstairs kids! Except that he can’t move around once he’s down there! We could haul his chair down, yes, but our stairwell is quite narrow and the lift is a decent size, so it would definitely be a job for a second person, and it may even need to be disassembled to get it down there. So the hunt for a basic folding wheelchair is already on! I’m on FB Marketplace every day, and I’m sure we’ll find one soon enough.

Ok. Thats all I can think of for now. Its a lot thats swirling in my brain, but now its all in one place, lol! If anyone has any bomb ideas for making life more accessible, please feel so free to throw them our way! We are not above spitballing. We are not too proud to hear from others! Positively everything in our life is about adapting right now, so throw out your best ideas! We need them and want them!

We have caught a batch of whatever sketchy illness is floating around, it seems. Not all of us, thank goodness, but for sure three of us. A couple of the babies, and Wavy. We stayed home from church this morning in an effort not to spread our germs, and to give everyone a chance to rest up and not get sicker.

Today held minimal productivity, a few cups of coffee, and a lot of baby snuggles. I discovered Dekker can give me decent piggyback rides, so I definitely took advantage of that a few times. I crocheted a little bit at one point. And we even had salad with supper. Dekker added sprinkles to mine.

Weirdo. I wonder where he came up with that idea.

😏

Brady and I went outside this evening for a few minutes and speculated how we will get him into the bus. He hasn’t been able to be in our vehicle for the last while, and we don’t like that. We vastly prefer to travel together.

Howeverrrrr…

Brady got reconnected with City Hospital, and he gets to go meet with his original physiotherapist back from rehab days! We are SO grateful to be back in contact with them, and all the resources that will come along with it. The beautiful thing about the rehab program there is that, once you’re in, you are always welcomed back. That means the gym, PTs, OTs, social workers, etc. Part of therapy there will be figuring out how to get Brady into the vehicle, and if he needs some mobility aids to make it possible, they will be the ones who know whats out there, and what can be applied for, and then THEY will apply for it! Which is AWESOME, and crazy helpful!

We are so thankful to have Brady accepted back in to see his PT from four years ago 💜 What a huge gift. Hopefully helps is on the way and we can be back to driving together sooner than later!

Also, cancer treatment should start up before long. For sure this week. For sure radiation. But we’ll keep you in the loop with that also. When we know, you’ll know.

Thank you for carrying us in prayer 💜 It makes all the difference.

Gonna be a big week!

It was a bit of a bizarre day. We are a “spend the day together” family. Today felt like an odd one, for whatever reason. I think a big part of it was actually the fact that I had to be gone for a few hours and Brady was home with most of the kids. He had the big kids, so he had help with the babies if he needed. But I took Rowan into the city for parkour, as well as a baby to a longer-than-average visit. I was gone ALL afternoon. This was new territory for us since Brady’s mobility has changed and he lost his ability to use his legs at all.

But! I intentionally kept busy. I dropped Rowan off, and then the Spoonful. I bought lunch. I drove to Michaels at Preston Crossing to buy one ball of yarn to incorporate into Peanut’s blanket. It felt super wrong walking out of Michaels with one ball of yarn. One. Singular. I have a particular yarn there that just STARES at me. I ache to make a sweater out of it for myself. But I haven’t bit the bullet yet because its too much money. I still went to look at it, though. Just to hurt my own feelings.

I also drove to Lawson Heights and dumped off a TON of cardboard at the recycling depot. I’m taking ALL kinds of boxes from groceries and meals already brought, plus a tv box. Its easier than hoarding it in the garage and ever so slowly sneaking it into our already full bin.

I picked Rowan up, and we killed the rest of the time in Saskatoon at Value Village. I got the kids some books they really wanted – trying to bulk up a couple of series that they’re into – as well as finding myself a mug (duh) and a sweatshirt (also duh) since I don’t have enough of those items. Don’t worry. I’m rolling my eyes at myself.

We went to pick up the Spoonful, and baby’s birth mama had bought me a gift! ME!!! We hugged good and proper before she handed me her baby and we parted ways. I can only imagine how it feels to be on her end of things 💔 But, I digress.

After arriving home, we had a bit of a whirlwind evening, with 2/3 babies feeling quite sick. But once they were down and everyone could hear themselves think again, we snuggled everyone else up in the living room and introduced our kids to Mr. Bean 🤣 Good, old fashioned, OG Mr. Bean. And MAN did they laugh. It was incredible. We just watched a couple, but it was so so funny to see them doubled over. Dekker and Rowan were belly laughing straight out the gate. It was absolutely hilarious, and a fantastic way to wind the day down 💜

There are still things to do before the night is done, but I so anticipate dozing off to old episodes of “Mad About You” with Brady. That is the coziest time of the day. I am SO grateful.

I can barely put this week into words. There have been some pretty low dips, but a complete tidal wave of kindness and support from our loved ones. Both have come in extremes, which has been a whirlwind to navigate, but I honestly could not be more grateful.

I imagine I will never be able to put my finger on the reason why we are so well supported. Why our story reaches as wide as it does. Why we seemingly have bottomless support while so many are without. There is some sort of survivors guilt attached to it, but I know that guilt is not from God, so I work intentionally not to dwell there.

We have spent the week waiting for an appointment that didn’t come. We made small headway towards the end of this week at least, and hopefully there is betterment in the week to come. While we have waited, we have been positively showered with love and care and thoughtful gifts we never even thought to ask for. So maybe around us are truly searching for ways to put into our family. It is incredibly humbling.

The list of people who have helped is already frightfully long, and I know for a fact there is more to come. I have confidence in Christ more than anything or anyone else. I feel like He continues to send people our way, and His gifts to us through them. Baked goods are showing up, since the world knows our children lives off of muffins for breakfast. Lunches are even good to go for a nice long while. And suppers are coming regularly. Not to mention help with the house, with rides, with the kids, and aaaaall the grace from everyone around us when we just simply cannot keep up.

Lots of change still to come. Next week, we will have more to share on Bradys treatment plan and how its all going to go. For now, we really hope to coast a little bit through this weekend.

Specific prayer requests, for those who want them!!!

💜 That Bradys function either maintains or even improves!!! No more decline in his mobility or function!

💜 Spiritual protection for our family, specifically our children! The battle is ON 🙌 And we are feeling that burn.

💜 Heavenly intervention in Bradys course of treatment, and that the oncologists make the right calls to give Brady the BEST quality of life!

We trust you, Lord. No matter what, You are good!

What a week.

You know when a day REALLY feels like a particular day of the week, but it is not actually that weekday after all? Am I making sense? Well. Every single day this week has felt undeniably like a Friday to me. Perhaps its the degree of general fatigue that comes from all the mental and emotional weight carried, or just a general disorganization of thoughts. Either way, it keeps feeling like Friday, and it keeps not being Friday!

However, tomorrow is finally Friday. And I am so ready for a weekend. Tomorrow, Cher will come clean in my house, and we’ll spend some time together. Another friend is stopping by after school. We never do homework on Fridays, so thats another thing to anticipate. And hopefully, everyone is doing well, and we can have a movie night as a family.

To be clear, I am not trying to complain. Sure, the week has had some disappointments. That is a fact. Times are not easy. But there is absolutely NO shortage of love and support coming our way. Almost more than we know what to do with. We feel so undeserving, but it is just a good reminder to be generous in the seasons where we can be, and to be humbled in our seasons where we have more needs. I think each day this week, we have been approached by people who want to shower us with love and support, often fulfilling very real needs, many that we haven’t even had a chance to voice. We are overwhelmed with gratefulness. Thank you, all, for listening to the pull and for loving us.

God is sending His people to us. Whether they know it or not.

We are not unable to do Your work, Lord. Even in times of trouble, we are here. Send us also.

Happy almost real Friday 💜