The Daily Hailey

To celebrate Rowans one week birthday, I finally took some time this afternoon and typed out his birth story. Its long and jumbled, as these kinds of stories tend to be when I write them out. But they also tend to be full to bursting with emotions, so they won’t be all formal and orderly. At least you get a rough play by play anyway. So if you’re interested, read on, Macduff!

*****

We had been on an induction list since Friday, February 20th. We expected our call in the morning right at 8:00am telling us whether or not we could come in that day or be bumped further. Jerilee effectively moved in, so that we could just pick up and leave when we finally got our call. It kept not coming, and it made perfect sense. I was not a medical risk of any kind, and I was pretty much at the end of the list. Finally, I came to the conclusion that I was putting too much on this one thing. Even though it was a big thing, waiting for my baby to come, and even though I was trying really hard to just keep moving and have a positive attitude, it was getting a bit too hard to be on pins and needles, waiting, day after day. If the magical call still didn’t come on Monday, the 23rd, I was going to call the clinic and cancel us off of their induction list for the week. Our original plan had been to be induced on my due date, which was March 2nd, and that was fine. At least we’d have a week of normalcy, Jerilee could take off the time she had originally planned to take off to help us instead of this random time now, and everything would be smoother.

As had become our usual, we all met upstairs way too early on Monday morning and waited for the call. It didn’t come. It was 9:00am when I finally told Brady to go about his day like normal and go into work. If they were going to call, they would have already. His guys at work knew he had ben on watch for the last few days, and he had tried to clean up everything before the baby did come, but there is always more to do if one can find the time, right? So he headed in pretty much right around then. As humor would have it, I received our call about a half hour later.

The person on the other end of the line said that Dr. Guselle was quite insistent that I get in that day if at all possible, as she was on call and really wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible. They said they could take me at 1:00pm, and I agreed on the spot. Jerilee celebrated with me and assured me the timing was great, so I called Brady. He was about five minutes from work, so he ducked into Tims to grab us all some breakfast, brought coffee to his site supervisor and filled him in, and came straight back home.

It was an exciting morning, getting everything repacked and getting ready for the day, knowing that today was finally the day that we could get things rolling and have our baby! I was very optimistic for the day. Nervous, because of last time, of course, but so ready to have the process become real.

We got to the hospital a few minutes early and went straight up to register. The little waiting area was FULL of registered patients who just hadn’t been put in rooms yet. I sat down at the desk to fill out all the forms, and heard a nurse from the other desk whisper something about “Oh, with this patient…” I immediately felt a bit awkward. I knew that Dr. Guselle had gone out of her way to accommodate us and my nerves. I felt even more awkward when someone immediately came to take us to a room, ahead of all of the other patients waiting there. It was awkward, but also really nice to be fast tracked. I decided to look past the discomfort and be thankful instead.

We were taken straight to a delivery room by our nurse, Shauna. She got us settled in and then wanted to discuss the induction method with us, as is the drill. This time, instead of using Cervidil like in the past, I had been put on the list for the oxytocin drip instead. I was a little bit nervous, hearing that was a much more aggressive form of induction, but after hearing about it and them actually calling my doctor to confirm it, agreed to go along with it. If it was incredibly aggressive and I got too scared or was in too much pain, or if something got scary with the baby, I was in the hospital, so we’d be ok. I was confident.

Before the induction actually began, though, the baby needed to be monitored for a little while, just to make sure all was well in there. Over that time, Brady and I just visited, and texted the few people who knew what we were up to that day. Shauna came in to look at the tape off the monitor and surprised me by asking if I was feeling contractions. Nope, sure wasn’t, but apparently I was having them regularly. I told her I was having some cramping, but confessed to drinking a big fat coffee that morning, and coffee always makes me cramp when I’m pregnant. She just smiled and said they weren’t looking like coffee cramps on the monitor. But I was fine, so we kept the ball rolling and the drip was plugged in around 1:30pm.

Shauna kept tabs on us every fifteen minutes. She very quickly became someone who I felt I had known for years. We talked about regular daily life type of things, and she never seemed rushed at all. She told us that over the last four days, 96 hours, they had delivered 88 babies!! No wonder I had been bumped so many days! I think I can safely say she liked us, and we really liked her. I knew from the beginning of the day that people around us knew our background story to a degree, and I knew that our nurse had special instructions to keep us (me) at ease. I apologized for that, saying I really don’t want to be that high maintenance patient, and she assured me that we weren’t high maintenance, but pleasant. Yes! It felt good, and I felt safe.

Around 3:00pm, Shauna checked my tape again and seemed really surprised that I wasn’t in any pain yet. I agreed to a cervical exam and she shocked Brady and I with a “Wow! I’d put you at 4-5cm dilated!!” It was around that time when we discussed epidurals. I really wanted one, more for a safety net than anything. Plus, to go from a 1.5 to a 4-5 in such a short period of time was kind of unheard of, and the next few hours were completely unpredictable. So yes, an epidural, please.

When Shauna returned shortly thereafter, she told me she had checked her measurement of my dilation against the chart they’re supposed to use, and concluded that I was actually dilated to 6cms! Crazy!!

The anesthetist was awesome. He worked quickly and the whole procedure was nice and painless. He even made a killer ebola joke. While I was leaned over on the rolling table, pushing my back out, Brady commended that my epidural with Dekker had been much more difficult, as I had to work to stay still through the contractions. I agreed, and commented that it was so much nicer without the contractions. Shauna came up behind me and felt my stomach before laughing out loud and saying how hard and severe of a contraction I was having that very second. Everything went in as it should have, and I lay back in my hospital bed and continued to wait. Brady and I watched some Greys Anatomy, and Shauna brought me a couple of popsicles. Peach. Yum. We made jokes about church Tang. I really loved her.

I sat at this point for quite a while actually. Six centimetres. The epidural was nice, and removed the bit of discomfort that I was having previously, and could easily hang out on a nice low dose. But I didn’t dilate further.

Dr. Guselle came in around 6:30pm after her day at the clinic. The hospital staff had told us that she was only on call until 5:00pm, but in the past, I was of the understanding that their group of doctors ran their shifts from 7:00am, so I’m not actually sure if she was technically on call at that moment or not. But regardless, she came, which was wonderful. We visited for a few minutes and got all caught up before she asked if she could check me and see if I had progressed any. I hadn’t, which wasn’t ideal, obviously. She asked me about breaking my water, and I was completely on board. More than ready! Well, my goodness, if I’ve ever heard the sound of a rushing river inside a building, that was it! We actually all had a good laugh over it, and Shauna seemed kind of lost afterward. “I don’t even know where to start with this!” she laughed, as she started trying to clean it up. Trust me, if I could control those kinds of fluids, I would have!!

It was pretty quick after breaking my water that my contractions started to feel a bit worse. I told Shauna and she pushed the little epidural button to top me up a bit. All seemed normal, and I just needed to let her know the second I felt any pressure. I didn’t, so we continued.

But things were all of a sudden super painful. Very, very quickly. Comparable to the pain of my last labor and delivery. I started to panic a bit. At least I felt panicked. Brady said it didn’t show too badly in the moment. We called Shauna and in a quick check, she told me we were going to have a baby. Then I really got scared. I hadn’t let myself get too scared yet, thinking about Laela’s birth as little as possible, but this sudden crazy pain brought me there really quickly. I told Brady very clearly that I did not want another birth like Laela’s, and he advocated for me, asking if there was anything I could have to help. Shauna told me the baby was incredibly low and there wasn’t time. Again, it sounded the same as last time. Too many familiar things. I was so scared.

I heard Shauna call to someone to get Dr. Guselle up as fast as she could, and that the baby was coming.

As labor and delivery tend to be, the next few moments are a bit blurry. Dr. Guselle was up in a flash, getting the full garb on. I don’t even think she checked my dilation. She just knew that I was ready. I didn’t, but she did. We asked her again for some help, as my contractions were incredibly strong and I was feeling scared. She confirmed my fears – that the only thing that was going to stop my pain was getting this baby out. I said one last time that I didn’t want another delivery like Laelas, and she very calmly replied “Has this been anything like Laelas?” And even in that moment of panic, I realized how right she was! The day had been comfortable, and controlled, and I felt so safe. I hadn’t been in any pain or discomfort the entire time. My doctor had come in specifically for me, and my nurse was unbelievable. That was a good moment for me. Clarity in the midst of crazy. I loved it.

I didn’t love everything else though. Those few minutes hurt a lot, but being less scared made it all hurt a little less. And then there was pressure. I never felt that pressure before with either kid! I am just one of those people that we all think are made up, who don’t feel the pain of labour until the very, very end.

Our of nowhere, my bed was taken apart and my feet were in stirrups. Dr. Guselle said to push with the next contraction, and before I even felt the contraction pain, she said “now!” So I did. I hadn’t actually pushed out a baby in 3.5 years, and didn’t totally remember how. I took in my breath and tried, but I felt super weak. It probably didn’t help that I didn’t hold my breath, and instead I said “I’ve got nothing behind this!” She said that was completely fine, and it all looked great, just keep going. So I did, and it all happened! I felt the whole baby come out, but no pain in that moment whatsoever. As soon as I had that contraction to focus on, I felt no pain. A total and complete miracle. As he surfaced, those in the room celebrated how fast it was all happening, and how I was seemingly so easily pushing him out. I heard people saying he had chubby cheeks. I heard that his hand was up by his face, same as his big sister. I did hear that his cord was around his neck, but it was nice and loose and easily unwrapped. The rest of him came out nice and quickly and easily, and I was able to have him laid on me for our first cuddle on the outside. He squawked for a minute or two, but quieted soon there after, and opted for laying face down on me, and sucking his fingers.

I won’t lie. It was completely surreal. I don’t favor or disfavour any of my kids, but this birth was hands down my favourite! I know that some people are really pumped about home birth, and I have every respect for them. It isn’t the choice I would make if I could choose, but I think that I get it. It is their ideal, and I can honestly say that this was mine. I got everything I could possibly want.

I got a nice, short labor of 5.5 hours.

I was in the hospital the whole time.

I had the BEST people around me.

I was in no pain almost the entire time. As in the ENTIRE day, minus 5-10 minutes.

I was encouraged and uplifted.

My husband could watch the baby being born and cut his cord.

I could hold the baby for a nice long while after he was born.

One stitch. One.

I had peace.

All of this said and done, it was a thrilling experience. I never felt belittled or like people were tip toeing around me. I felt comfortable and excited, and then I felt the euphoria of delivering my child. I didn’t cry in my other deliveries. Not because I didn’t love my kids, but with Dekker, it didn’t feel real, and with Laela, I was terrified. But with my brand new baby boy, Rowan Toby, I was anticipating the awesomeness that comes with having another baby, and I was elated at how the whole thing had played out. I know people prayed over me. This could never have been so smooth and epic without the covering of God.

Rowan Toby was born at 7:06pm on Monday, February 23rd, 2015. He was 8 lbs 6 oz and was 22” long. His head was 37cms and his chest 34cms. He is easily our skinniest but tallest baby yet.

God is so very, very good.