A while back, I mournfully posted about the loss of my baby, and how with losing my son, I lost a few other dreams. Small things, maybe, but things that are important. All of my planning and my efforts to positively anticipate my baby had died alongside him. One of the big ones was my secret excitement surrounding a maternity photo shoot I wanted to have done. I had such a clear picture in my mind of what I wanted, and I was so excited to have those pictures taken, and to be able to look back on them one day and remember exactly where I was right then, where life had taken me, where my heart was. It felt SO important. And then, the dream was gone, as was the baby.
Recently, someone I barely knew reached out to me to fulfill my wishes. We’ve only messaged a bit here and there, but today, we spend the vast majority of the daytime together. We wandered through a large area of Saskatoon, and she took pictures of me. It was so fun, and I flip flopped between feeling excited and celebrated and happy and silly and sorrowful and reminiscent and everything in between. I truly enjoyed the day with her. The pictures were a blast, but I really loved walking from place to place, getting to know each other. We’ve both had our share, to put it lightly, but in completely different ways and in completely different areas of life. It was great, though, to be able to share so honestly and openly, and we never ran out of things to talk about! We had lunch together (she took me out 💜) and then we headed home. From beginning to end, it felt like a date with a friend whom I’ve known for years, even though we had likely never spoken two words to each other before a week or two ago. I loved today, and I hope she feels the same way. What an amazing gift.
I’m so excited to see the pictures she puts together, and I’m excited to share them here, too.