Rowan has been struggling a bit more these days, so after a particularly hard day, we made a commitment to try (cannot make a commitment to do as thats too much pressure) to get Rowan outside and active before bedtime. Soccer has been a good help with that, rocking a practice and a game each week. Thats two days of good physical activities before bedtime that he enjoys! Other days, he’ll play kickball in the backyard with Laela, but that tends to end in arguments these days. And the camp weekends are active pretty consistently and we stay up later.
Today, his evening plans changed, and he had nothing active to intentionally do. After a pretty rocky morning with him, I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to spend one-on-one time with him, but doesn’t that tend to be the time when we should spend that time? Especially when he realized it had been raining and he was even less excited to go outside, I knew it needed to be me and him.
So I invited him to join me on a walk, and he very happily accepted. Very politely. On high alert after our struggles through the day. He was just in shorts, and he said he’d go get a shirt on. I suggested also socks for shoes, and a hoodie. He hates both of those things, but he said “sure thing, mom” and he came upstairs for our walk in those items. Not looking to fight. I liked that. Off we went.
We walked at a good clip down our street, observing all the construction equipment that has moved in. We speculated what our summer might look like with the street being beaten up. He commented at one point “Oh! A port-a-jon!” And he ran over and posed like a goofball for me.
We walked to the high school, and walked a lap of the track. And then ran one together. And walked another. We walked all over town at a nice pace, and got reacquainted. Once we were on the path to home, I asked him a bit about our morning struggle and how he felt at certain times. What could I have maybe said or done differently to help defuse the bomb. He is SO good to talk to about this stuff when its all over and he is clear. He told me he honestly figured I had done it right. And that the parts that he could pinpoint that made him so angry were actually the right things, and that it just made him angry that I was going to win. But as he is clear and calm, he reassured me that he completely understood why I managed him the way I did, and he didn’t have anything to offer that I should change.
So we got home with some tired bodies from all the walking and running, and with some more contentment in our hearts, I think 💜
He is worth every shred of extra work. I am here for it, even if its bumpy or nasty at times.
I love you, Rowan Toby.