I will be the first to admit that today has been an incredibly challenging day. We’re human. We have bumpy days. Its fine. But its been more challenging than most, and while those days are not glamorous, nor days people really desire to put out there for all to see, they’re important to remember and learn from. Also, I know we are not the only people who have them!! So let’s lift each other up, shall we? 💜
Yesterday was a total blast, and everyone was full and exhausted by the end of the day. Everyone fell asleep easily and quickly.
But then, sometime in the night, Rowan woke up. And being the ever-so-social lad that he is, he came to tell me.
So naturally, I couldn’t fall back to sleep until my room had gone from pitch black to morning sun. I spent those hours replaying every difficult conversation I’ve had, every medical trauma we’ve gone through, and spiralling through everything I’m still afraid of, ie: money, jobs, future, etc.
So that was not a boatload of fun, and made for a very short night for me.
And also for Rowan.
The morning can really only be described as brutal. So many arguments. Everyone so dysregulated. So much irrationality. Almost nothing went smoothly. It was hard and had Brady and I dreading the long Spring break to come.
I cannot say with confidence that those feelings are gone, but I can say that we got a beautiful break 💜 After naps, Cher took the kids into the backyard and refereed for us for the entire afternoon. And then they made sandwiches and had outdoor supper while Brady and I continued to work on our own things in peace.
Once supper was done, it became clear that Rowan was just at the end of his rope. Or maybe its more accurate to say he was teetering on a ledge. He knew all the things that were going on, and was choosing to argue. He just felt like fighting and it showed. Cher tipped me off that bedtime might be a challenge with him, so I decided to go out and pep talk him before it all went down.
And it was worth it! He recognized that he wasn’t doing well, but he didn’t want to miss out on the rest of the day or bedtime prayers with everyone. So HE made the choice to go inside, get all ready for bed, and read books in his bed until it was time for bedtime. He said himself “I think being away from everyone would be a good choice for me.” Outside, he did NOT want to be self aware, but he changed his tune, and we reached a beautiful compromise! For the first time today! Whew!
Bedtime will roll around right away here, so wish us luck!! At this point, we just need smooth. And then we need sleep. All of us.
But first, post-bedtime supper and an episode of something funny. We could all use a laugh after the day we’ve had!