I know Mother’s Day was and is complicated for many. I saw someone on Insta post “Have a gentle Mother’s Day” and I thought that was really sweet and concise. I am not naive to the complicated aspects of that day. But, because I am fortunate enough to be a mother to my children, I did want to share a brief post about them all. A rundown, if you will. Is anyone also picturing Jim Halpert saying “What the hell is a rundown?” I wish I could find an appropriate gif. Anyway.
Behold – the children who made me a mother.
Dekker Thomas. The oldest.
Ten years of him so far.
Laela Hazel. The oldest girl.
We’ve had this one for eight years so far.
Rowan Toby. The middlest.
He’s one of the oldest in his class. Seven years with this one.
Solomon Brady. Our littlest guy. My husbands namesake.
This month, we’ll have had the pleasure of six years with him.
Shortly after Solomon was born, we started losing babies.
Theo.
He joined our family about five years ago.
Jamin.
He was born the following summer, so that was almost five years ago, too. A confident four and a half years, I suppose.
Waverly Violet. Our youngest here at home.
We have had almost four years with this little peach.
Very shortly after Wavy was born, I began losing many pregnancies.
Little Buddy. Our possible twins.
We never got to know for certain, obviously, but I like to believe my body tried to have twins. This was about two and a half years ago.
August.
We never got to the point of ultrasound for this baby, unfortunately. I found out right over my birthday that I was expecting, and was bleeding within the week. But I was very grateful to have the supportive doctor I had be closely in touch, limping me though my grief and back to physical health.
I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for the children I have had the pleasure to bring home. I have deep grief for those I’ve carried who never made it home. I still carry confusion and frustration in my heart for all the lightly positive pregnancy tests that were immediately followed by cycles. My desire to mother more children hasn’t gone. God knows my heart, and it is absolutely open wide for whatever comes next. Whether I have the opportunity to mother children again, whether biological or not, permanently or temporarily, or if I am never responsible for any other child ever again, I will pour into people for the rest of my life one way or another 💜
To my Hailey Jeanne.
My heart is so full of “SOUP” for you. Yes, I mean soup. 🙂 🙂 🙂
A whole pot full of mixed emotions, feelings and wishes for my beautiful girl and her amazing husband and family. My heart aches for you, and sorrows with you. I so wish you could have felt all your babies (my grandbabies) in your excited and longing arms, watching them grow up and giving them all that love that you had and so longed to give to each one of them. Oh my.
My heart waits and wonders with you, my girl….. God promises to bring good blessings out of the dark and difficult times.
Please God, give my children and grandchildren faith to keep believing; patience and endurance to keep keeping on; and joy for each day, so that they won’t miss the extraordinary life that you have for them every day.
There are so many emotions and feelings that I won’t be able to cover them all, but my greatest feeling or emotion or whatever you want to call it, is my great joy for you. Sweetheart, you can hold your head high and know that you are an excellent mom! Knowing you, there will be a quick comeback that you are not so sure. 🙂 I KNOW this FOR SURE and I am your mother and I know you trust me, so you have to believe me!
I MEAN IT! 🙂
I’m also overjoyed with my grandchildren, your children here on earth. Brady and you have loved and parented them so well!. They are beautiful and loving people who are making a difference in this world already. And they love me. They love me because of the way you love me. Thank you so much.
I am so full of joy that God’s blessing is on you and your family and that He is taking such good care of you. You have intentionally put your trust in Him and purposefully chosen to rejoice in the beauty amidst the extraordinary storms of your life. For this…..
YOU ARE MY HERO.
I love you, my darling.
ps…… it gives me joy to know that Brady and your babies in heaven, are with my little one there.
This comment is SUCH an encouragement to me, mom 💜 Thank you for your love and care towards my heart on the subject. You never leave me feeling selfish or entitled when I speak about having more children. I love your heart, mom! And I, too, LOVE that our babies are in Heaven together! 💜 It definitely gives me a deeper anticipation for going to Heaven someday. I love you, mom!