Brady and I made a secret plan a while ago when we learned that the Morsel had an exit plan. So now that the exit has been made, and everyones hearts are appropriately worn out, we took a day to rest our brains. We SAT. ALL day. We ate yummy easy food out of disposable dishes. I did a puzzle. And we watched American Ninja Warrior.

We are not a tv family. Our kids aren’t tv kids, much to their chagrin. But today, we watched through as much Ninja as we could. It was really fun 💜 I kind of love that show, especially for kids, because a) its always moving and fun to watch, b) it displays amazing sportsmanship, and c) while sometimes it feels corny, everyone has some good inspiring, motivating story. So we did that. We rested our bodies and our brains. We just recouped, and it was nice.

Of course as soon as we needed everyone to get up and get ready for bed, carry things upstairs, etc., they all started griping, which makes total and complete sense, and was pretty much the sole reason we stopped watching tv in the first place, lol! The aftershock zombie effect is something I REALLY struggle to be ok with. So. We don’t.

Today was worth it, though. I don’t regret my choice. It was a really nice day. The kids really got into ninja…

And I finished my puzzle!!

Tomorrow will not be an all day tv marathon at all, but it was a great one time party, and a nice rest.

I’ll be an adult again tomorrow.

Brady and I got married sixteen years ago 💜 I liked us then, but I like us better now.

Mouthpush. Lol!

Even these last few years being incredibly challenging, I would not change a thing. And I believe with confidence that Brady would say the exact same thing.

Yesterday was a total gut punch, and it overshadows most other things, but we both have the ability to rest in each others arms, as well as Gods. So. We rest.

Brady, we’ve been together for half of our lives, and I am SO grateful. I never knew marriage could feel so loving and warm. It is incredibly easy to love you 💜

None of us were ready, but the day came, and the Morsel has left our home to rejoin their family, who has been eagerly awaiting the arrival 💜 This reality contains both victory and tragedy. They are hard emotions to navigate simultaneously, but our family can agree 110% that we have no regrets with our choice to invest time and love and care into each and every child.

We LOVE every child who comes through, but some just hit different. The Morsel was our family mascot, and now, we are without that face.

The kids stayed home from school. Brady stayed home from work. We had waffles and fruit. Gave some early birthday presents. And then drove into the city to bring the baby to the parents.

The send-off was more peaceful and soft than I expected. Baby was content and settled in my arms, and then in their mothers arms. I shared a hug with the two of them. There were tears. And then everyone parted ways and it was over.

Everyone cried on the way home. Our hearts are completely exhausted, and likely will continue to be.

The face continued to malfunction, but face fluids continue to be absorbed around every corner. God dries every tear 💜 I don’t know how we’d survive without faith.

Today, Brady and I had our yearly eye appointments, and we brought the babies along. One had an appointment as well, and the others were just there as eye candy. It was a really special appointment in lots of ways. We hadn’t seen our eye doctor in a while, as she had been on maternity leave. I had run into her completely spontaneously very freshly after delivery, and it was a pretty sweet moment for us. She mentioned it to me and was very soft as she reminisced. It just felt like a soft appointment.

Then, after, as I chose my frames, and we selected glasses for our newly bespectacled baby, there were more soft conversations surrounding fostering and illness. Tears were shed and they were not all mine. It was special.

Now, as the day finally winds down, I am beyond exhausted. But. The day was productive and carried with it much kindness. Thank you, Lord.

Really, I have no excuse to be “unexpectedly busy.” I should really have learned to expect it by now, hey? I chose my life and I truly do love it! And with it comes a pretty messy schedule sometimes!

Today, Cher came to clean at our place, and first thing in the morning, I got a text from a social worker than LD was very much wanted in the city in the next two hours or so. I hemmed and hawed but not for long, because that is what I signed up for 💜 No regrets. Cher stayed and babysat the others so I could run LD in without having to accommodate the others. Thank you, Cher! 💜 That made all the difference!!

I came home, ate lunch, and finished up a project I had going. Kids came home. Green bag homework was done. Piano was practiced. And before long, I was hauling the whole gang out the door to head to a visit for another one of the babies.

In the city, we dropped babe off and then drove to Value Village. I actually went into it with a list of some actual needs, and sadly, it was something of a bust. Merp. Not completely, but mostly. Brady took the kids out for supper and then home. I finished up my shop and headed to pick baby up again.

We drove home and I sang along with Wicked and cried some tears, as I do when I drive these days. Got home and dropped baby in the garage with Laela and Dekker. I sniped the laptop and headed out to a meeting regarding the spring musical.

And now I’m home, and I am so unbelievably ready for bed, its not even funny 😅

First snack time. Then sleeping.

I know I’ve been cryptic for a while. It won’t last much longer. You’ll all be vastly more in the know soon enough about why I’m so all over the place. Sorry :/ I don’t take any pleasure in the “clickbait” aspect of things. I only wish I could share more. But. Here we are.

So as we prepare for change, I spent today preparing for other things as well. Beyond ducking out into the bitter cold for an important doctors appointment, I spent the day in the kitchen, prepping things for lunches. My kids don’t all have rocking appetites, some because of medications and some because they’re mine, and I don’t have much of an appetite myself. So I work pretty intentionally to make eating lunch easy and something they don’t dread. Today, I bagged up many boxes of crackers and bags of pretzels into little serving sized bags for lunches. I did the same with some fruits and veggies as well. Yesterday I re-ordered some cheeses and mandarin oranges. We still have a healthy amount of fig bars and fruit to gos floating around. Plus all the fruit cups, apple sauces, and whatever other grab and go things I can’t think of off the top of my head. But, there are lots of options, complete with some new ones as well. Hopefully that keeps the kids eating well for another stretch of lunches.

I shed a weird amount of tears today. In the kitchen. In my vehicle. Really, at the drop of a hat, lol! But that is just the times over here, I suppose.

Survival. We’re in it. Praise the Lord.

Like a jerk, I ordered groceries in this miserable weather. Which I actually try really hard not to do! I wanted to order yesterday or the day before but it felt more mean with the storm risk upon us. Today was less risky, but super cold. Anyway.

I’m stocked up nicely now on most of the fresh things I need for the week, plus all the other lunchy things we need, and some extras, such as coffee, chicken thighs, and baby snacks. I had the pleasure of having my brother and his kids come visit for a few hours today 💜 so you can imagine my impromptu grocery carrying crew was very cute.

Our company left around suppertime, and I felt a little lazy, so we hacked into a couple of the loaves of banana bread the kids and I had baked earlier in the day. Everyone had banana bread, cheese, and oranges. While the kids ate, Brady and I prepped some food. He bagged banana bread while I chopped up veggies for lunches. I like working in the kitchen together 💜

There is always more to do, though. I have some reorganizing I want to do in the pantry. I love my lunch setup and I want to add some stuff to it. But I need to move it all around. Anyway. When that day comes, I’ll show you. But that day is not today, lol!

This week is going to be a really big week. If you are the praying type, please do carry us in your prayers 💜 Every day is big, and they carry much change. Large tests of faith are in order, and we are here for them 💪 but prayers are greatly appreciated.

We justified a nice long sleep in this morning knowing the kids would be extra tired. No one complained. But everyone was still riding a high from watching Wicked. We had breakfast and discussed the days plans.

We’re at a point of change over here that usually gets me feeling a little squirrly and like a lot of things need to be cleaned up and/or purged. And those times are hard to shake off. So today, to pacify me, we had a worky morning. Our kids tend to grumble, and then fall into worky mornings pretty smoothly, and we all feel great when lunch time comes around and we have so much to show for our work.

We spent the morning taking Christmas down, which was a surprisingly short task considering we kind of never put it all the way up. It was a wild season, let me tell you! 😅 We’ve never not set up Christmas! But alas, we got it looking festive enough, and it made for a quick cleanup. We also got some messes off of the counter, and hung some stuff on the walls. Some laundry got done. I made a really yummy supper. I even did a little bit of tidying in my room, which is the last place I tend to prioritize. But, again, changing seasons get me in that mode, so I scratched that itch a little.

Some of this comes on the coattails of our new stovetop arriving on Friday 😍

No, it’s not that gigantic. Its packed really well. But also, yes, it’s pretty huge. I cannot wait to get our new island built, and to get this beast installed. I’m sure thats part of this feeling – preparing for change. There are only so many minutes in a day, but they are indeed precious, and I want to use them well.

Anyways. I’m all over the place. It was nice to work all morning and get so much done. It was nice to sit a bit in the afternoon. Not a lot, but a little. It was a yummy supper. it was nice to see Rae and Tom in the evening. There is so much to be grateful for! Thank you Lord for ALL You’ve given us 💜