In the last twelve months, we have joined a lot of groups.

There is the elite group paraplegics. ✅

The cancer club. ✅

The one Cher and I laugh about a lot – Trauma club ✅ Its not quite as fun as drama club.

Aaaaand now we’ve joined yet another club. Like the others, we did not join it on purpose.

We have officially joined the covid club.

We just found out, and we are pretty discouraged.

So far, there is just one of us infected. This one.

He had the smallest of symptoms, the mildest sore through, but we decided to run a test, basically just so we could say we did. But then it was positive, which none of us expected. We ran a second one, which was glitchy and invalid. Third test was also positive. So its official. We’ve got it.

My first reaction was some disbelief, and it quickly moved over to “Well, let’s do this!” I felt like we would all just embrace the spread and get through it!

Except

We have chemo over here. And chemo and covid do not mix.

So while Brady is double vaxxed, he has to be extra careful. Therefore, he and Dekker wear masks in the house. Which SUCKS, but also keeps Dekker from having his fingers in his mouth or nose. Brady’s mask is for caution but also for solidarity. I too am double vaxxed, but am considering wearing a mask in the house, too. Because if Brady or I contract covid, we’re hooped.

As it stands now, we have everything we need 💜 We have a mountain of food in our pantry (remember my angry blog about putting away groceries?) and our freezers are well stocked since Christmas, as well as many gifts or meat that have been sent out way. Food wise, we are good. I have loving people who have offered to run around for things like medication, mail, and schoolwork. We’re actively running short on covid tests, which is to be expected. We were given a box of 25 earlier in the school year and I NEVER thought we’d see the bottom of that box! But my goodness, testing all seven of us has caused our supply to dwindle rapidly. I do believe, though, that there are places around town who have some to offer so we may do an all-call soon to gather up a few more.

I admit, I’m discouraged. Not even just that we have a sickness here, but that so much is on hold. Just a few days ago, I was FINALLY addressing all of our Christmas pictures. Can I still send them out? I kind of dont think so. I also had a baby gift to deliver. Can I, though? Nope. I feel like the year has just begun and I’m already late. But, God knows, and we trust Him.

This feels very vulnerable to share out loud, but we have so many beautiful people pop in from time to time, and we need to make everyone aware. Plus, with the amount of us that there are, it was bound to be pieced together at school. So rather you hear it from us than anyone else. If you have been here in the last week or so and feel concerned, I will tell you that we’ve heard the guideline to being a “close contact” is being in a small space for more than 15 minutes. Believe me that, had we known, we would have told you. We’ve been trying to tell the right people first, and now we’re telling all the people. Consider yourselves told, haha!

Carry us in prayer, friends 💜

So. We’ve actually got a lot going on behind the scenes over here. Difficult stuff. Some we will share about soon, and some we won’t. Don’t feel left out if you don’t know. We’ll get there. Its just that our bodies, brains, and hearts don’t have a lot of extra these days. They are ALL full of different things, on top of our usual load of exhaustion. So please be patient. Pressure is the last thing we need.

We were visited by the pizza fairy yesterday. That helped a lot.

Pizzas, cucumbers, chips, and chocolate fudge graced our doorstep, and we all ate like royalty. Brady and I closed supper off by busting out some old school Veggietales tunes for the kids. And I do mean we sang them by heart like true children of the 90s. We had a riot, and the kids laughed and laughed. It was a good light moment that I think we all needed and welcomed.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mountain of random blue and green yarn that needs to be tied up into something before I can justify buying more! 💙💚

Happy Monday, friends.

Todays post holds many photos that didn’t manage to make the blog over the last few weeks, as well as some things I saved that jumped out at me. All completely unrelated but very much worth sharing. Some more than others, haha! Anywho, I hope you enjoy an easy read/watch! And Carol – you who can never see the pictures – I’m so sorry!! Maybe try a different internet browser? Chrome, Safari, etc. Let me know if they work!

First one is a memory that came up on Facebook. Name that baby, folks!

Here is one of Laela and Rowan doing puzzles together. These two are hot and cold sometimes because they are frightfully similar. They can fight harder than any of the rest, but when they play well, they play beautifully. This was a particularly beautiful time.

I was so happy when I took this picture, hahaha! I made the worlds yummiest party mix this Christmas, and I made SO much of it. And then I ate it until there wasn’t a speck left to eat. And then I bought the stuff to buy more… Anyway, in this picture, I was eating good food and crocheting the plaid blanket I was so excited about 🙂 You guys all had me feeling SO good about that one 💜 Thank you.

This one was another Facebook memory. Wavy’s sis month photos. Goodness she was SO gorgeous. I will always remember this picture as the first thing I ever posted on fb that Tom liked 💜I felt like we had really done something right, haha!

This is Dekker’s recent drawing of circuits and what he figured the bottom of a rc car looks like.

Ah yes, the beautiful bonuses of sitting next to the lefty at the table 😍 My beautiful Rowan.

Dekker LOVES Waverly, and its like she knows it and wants him to chase her. But man, when he gets her, they are GOLDEN together!

Wavy got a microwavable penguin for Christmas. She named her Sunny. I love that, because as a kid, I had a Sunny! And she loves that thing – almost as much as I loved mine.

A throwback to our engagement pictures 💜 This one was my absolute favorite.

This meme could not be more relatable. I laughed really, really hard 😆

Ugh. This little lady sleeps sooooo sweet.

She also awakes so sweet, haha! She tried to walk with Brady’s brace that goes waaay up to her waist. Fun fact, wearing that brace, she does walk like Brady! Hahahaha! (Bonus giggle for Brady’s mug, lol)

Again, my food. This was my lunch many times over the last couple of weeks. Sangria and party mix. No regrets.

I don’t know what it was about this text conversation I stole off the internet but MAN did I laugh, hahaha!

The internet showed me this as a holiday blanket, and I kind of love it, so I saved the picture. I’d make the orange more red and add some green in there, but I love the pink and blue accents!

The most lovely picture ever taken, hands down. No clearer message ever sent. 💜

I hope you enjoyed this super quick, easy post. We have some big ole private fish to fry right now, so I’m welcoming ease any way I can get it!

Enjoy the last day of your weekend, guys!

Yup. I changed the spelling. It means being productive when you feel iffy.

After yesterday’s post, you were all completely lovely and warm to me. Many of you commented, private messaged me, or texted me to either encourage me, validate me, or even cheer me up. My friends, I thank you. I see your efforts and your kind words. Calling on Alex K, your comment was SO unbelievably loving. You catalogued it all and validated exactly how I was feeling. I could read how much effort you put into that, and I really love and appreciate that you did 💜 Thank you. To all of you – thank you for your warmth and understanding.

I slept very hard last night, which comes with an emotionally exhausting day, as well as getting my meds back on track. Side note here, guys. Do NOT take a nighttime med in the morning. Do NOT do that. Because then you can’t even start sorting things out until the evening of the next day! Its the worst. While I can still feel some small effects from that, at least I’m back to sleeping properly!

This morning, the kids got up, dressed, fed, and scampered out the door across the street to Tom and Rae’s. These days off are just a dream, and we are completely overwhelmed with gratefulness for them.

Brady has been having so much fun in the garage, setting up his space and working on a project he’s really excited about. I’ve been inside, crocheting, as you’d expect. I finished up another project that isn’t for me this time, that I’m really eager to get out the door. Once that one was done, I turned on a show I’ve watched a handful of times and know well (Schitt’s Creek) and I got to work tidying up the natural disaster that was crocheting Christmas gifts until the last possible day. It was a wreck and I wasn’t letting down as easily in the evening, tripping overtop of everything. But its WAY tidier now, and I’m SO relieved to have had kid-free time to work on it. *deep breath*

I know, it still looks really full. There is actually quite a bit more space in it than their used to be. Plus most of my Christmas projects needed specific colors. I’m excited to start using up some of the stuff I have on hand, and creating beautiful things.

My current crochet queue is free! But I have LOTS of ideas, so if you want something made sooner than later, speak up! I am never – I repeat, never – not crocheting.

Kids will be back soon! Better keep at it!

Brady and I decided to duck into Saskatoon for a few staple groceries we were lacking. We have barely grocery shopped for ourselves this last year, and that has been incredibly relieving. However, today it needed to happen. We had zero milk and zero fresh crunchy stuff. So, extreme cold warning or not, it was time.

Weather conditions weren’t the ideal, but we weren’t in a rush. Walmart #1 did not have everything we needed, so we had no choice but to venture further into Saskatoon to Walmart #2, inevitably lengthening our time in Saskatoon, resulting in us having to stop to pick up lunch for the little ones.

So we did that, still leaving our shop without a couple of important things, spent more money than we wanted to, and got home late. It was a bit exhausting by the end of it, to be honest. Sometimes I forget I cannot push through everything the way I used to. I have to be smarter.

We got home, and I went in to put the little ones down for naps. Brady backed up to the garage and insisted on unloading some groceries in the garage in an effort to get that door closed up again as soon as possible.

Once kids were tucked, I jogged back to the entrance and got my boots on. Everything was just soaked and freezing. In the garage, I learned that Brady had slipped while getting groceries in. Praise the Lord he didn’t actually fall and hurt himself!! He lost his balance and managed to catch himself, but he dropped a milk, and it split on the handle.

Ok. No big deal. We’ve all had this happen, I am sure of it. Thus began the quick effort to figure it all out. I tried to pick it up and move quickly, but it was just pouring out. So I ran for a couple of glasses and figured we could pour some out right there in the garage. I tried to open the milk and it was instantly all over me. Just messy and sticky and freezing cold. Brady came over and started pouring. But then we needed another glass. Into the house, boots soaking on the entrance floor, up the stairs, grabbed another glass, back down, boots back on, wet feet, in the garage.

We played that game a couple of times. It was just exhausting. Finally, the milk was low enough that I brought it in, wiped if off, and put it in the door. Of course, putting it into the door had it pouring out more. I didn’t even care. I shut the door. So. So. Sooooo over it.

Brady stayed out in the garage and I bawled in my kitchen. I was really angry, but really, about nothing, and I knew it. Its just these funny moments that show up and poke at me, and remind me how much has changed and how alone I feel sometimes.

Please hear what I’m saying simply as honest grief. I’ve had the pleasure of some people suggesting that me sharing openly about struggle is really just an attack or pointing fingers and placing blame. I trust the majority of you can hear my heart on this. If you don’t, please feel free to show yourselves out.

Mark my words. One day we will live in a house where the driveway leads directly into the garage which leads directly to the entrance which leads directly to the house with NO BARRIERS! These days and situations are what fire me up about how badly we need to move.

Yet, we trust God. It is undeniable that He is in control of our lives, as He watches out for us so closely. But goodness. Some days it just hits you like a ton of bricks.

Or like a jug of milk.

Christmas oranges were a real win this season. Some Decembers, I find I can only get old, dry oranges, but this year, the juicy ones were flowing! There was no cap on oranges. We just went for it. And they were SO good.

Now, Christmas oranges have run their course, and we are out. We do, however, still have some big navel oranges on the counter that were purchased specifically to add to our sangria, as if it needed any help. They were a welcomed edition, but there were definitely a good chunk left.

Real talk. I really haven’t liked oranges. Like, I do, but I hate the fuss that goes into them. They don’t peel nice, and they have way too much white stuff on them, and I just never have liked them enough to actually buy them. If my mom cuts them up for me, hahaha, I’ll absolutely eat them, happily!! I like them when I’m not the one doing the work. Thats a cringy thing to say, but, honesty always wins. Good thing this isn’t actually an important thing to feel strongly about…

This summer, at the lake, a friend cracked an orange for a kid, but before she started peeling it, she kind of beat it up a little. Pounded and rolled it on the picnic table a handful of times. She must’ve seen me staring and explained it helps the orange let go of the peel a bit better.

I’m embarrassed to admit that was the first time I had heard that, and that this Christmas was the first time I tried it. And guys, it makes so much of a difference. For someone who is pretty no-fuss with food, I am a lot happier to hack up oranges now!

Today, Wavy ate the last orange in the house. She does a good job at getting the actual orange off the peel. Better than I ever did as a kid. As in I remember being bad at eating oranges, so I was clearly older than she is now. But she took good bites and got a lot closer to the peel. At one point, I picked up one of her orange rejects and noticed there was still a chunk on it. I picked it up and bent it the tiniest bit, and the orange just lifted off. So I showed her, and she was SO excited to get more orange!

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• 

Aaaaand I was really happy that all of the orange was getting eaten, not just the juice. Though that juicy face is a pretty sweet one, if you ask me!

This may be complete common knowledge but it made a difference for me! We have loved this big ole box of oranges.

We have also loved the sangria that accompanied the oranges…

Historically, on social media, Finished Friday is when you’re supposed to show off what you’ve accomplished. And that’s cool. You can.

However, I’m not one to wait for the day that Instagram deems appropriate. I would far rather share when I’m excited about things. And thats todaaaaay!!!

Yesterday I finished my first crochet project of the year, and guys, I am SMITTEN! 😍It might be cocky to be so outwardly enamoured with my own creation, but I can’t help it.

One of my favorite details is the tassels! I actually really don’t like fringe usually, so in my scouring the internet for other ways to finish blankets, I came across these little cuties!

As with everything I make, this item is not flawless, but it also doesn’t need much extra care or handholding. It just fits. It doesn’t stretch to a point where fingers get tangled, and its actually nice and warm. Its funny how things stay with a person, and with every blanket I’ve made, the comment about afghans being “useless and ugly” fades further into the background. You cannot convince me this blanket is useless or ugly. Even if its not your thing, its still bright and lively and cozy!

Whew! This felt like an excellent project to kick the year off with! Stay tuned for the next one! I think its going to take much longer 😅

*

With all of this said, send me your cutest plaids! I’d love to make more of these, but mix up the colours and patterns! Hit me with your best plaid!

I’m a little late to this post, but “better late than never” seems an appropriate theme in our lives right now for a lot of things! (Christmas cards are here! Just been too cold to run them around town. Better late than never though, right?)

Brady completed his eighth chemotherapy cycle on December 30th. He usually starts his medications on the Friday night, which would have been the 24th, which would have been a bummer. But we accept that chemo isn’t really anyone’s ideal, and figured, it was just this Christmas. We could hack it. But at his chemo review appointment a few days before his treatment began, his oncologist said he was welcome to push chemo back until Monday! This was such an excitement for us, just to even have the option!

Brady skipped his usual Friday night kickoff and Saturday night as well. But I realized on Sunday that if we waited until Monday, he would have to fast on New Years Eve! No way, man. We had too many good food plans. So he started his cycle on Sunday and finished it Thursday night. Zero repercussions this time around. Thank you Lord for Your mercy!

The one downfall of this is that we don’t actually know what happens now with the remainder of his cycles. We have to ask if now everything is pushed back, or if no one is really worried about the day or two difference there. Hopefully we can know soon, but as of now, we just celebrate the relief that this last chemo round was smooth, and that its staaaaarting to feel the slightest bit upswingy! Yes. I said upswingy. You get it.

Over Christmas, I continued working on my medications and I am excited to say I am finally off of the initial antidepressant I was on! Sertraline had been an incredible relief for me when I had my hand and shoulder pain, and it had lifted my mental health in such a beautiful way. I am so grateful for sertraline. But it wasn’t cutting it while Brady’s whole story was playing out, and I was on SO MANY MEDS just to keep me afloat. Yesterday was completely sertraline free! I am officially OFF of sertraline, and I’m OFF my sleep aid. All I take now, as of yesterday, is my one antidepressant, as well as stomach protectors that have helped with my heartburn. I don’t have heartburn anymore, but if I just jump off of the medications, my body will go snake and overproduce acid like its going out of style. So while I’m eager to jump off anything I don’t need to be on, I’m speaking to my doctor in a week or two, and we’ll make a plan to get off of those! I’m so happy to have this finally all smooth over!

All of this being said, I had a hard time getting up this morning. As Brady was getting up, I fell back to sleep deep enough to dream, and had the pleasure of reliving Brady’s cancer diagnosis, and then woke up and took the wrong medication for the day because I’m SO used to taking two pills in the morning. Sooooo we’ll see how day two plays out 😆😩I think I’ll stay in…

Maybe everyone should.

Thank you for your grace, love, and support surrounding yesterdays post. If you didn’t see it, maybe you watched Brady’s video on instagram. Whether you understood where it all was rooted or not, we felt many of you come around us. So thank you for that.

I will admit, even though it was me directly who wrote the post, it was a very emotionally heavy day – one I am still reeling from. I am completely mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Brady has offered me a break, so I am tucked in my bed, upstairs, crocheting a project that is for no one specific, but I really, really like it. So much so that it might just be for me 🙂 We’ll see. I have some Starbucks cold brew next to me, thanks to my mom gifting me a two pack from Costco. What a refreshment. As I crochet, I have New Girl playing quietly on the laptop near me, and I can hear Brady playing guitar. As Christmas has wound down, he has finally found time to play, and he is building beautiful arrangements of classic Christmas songs on guitar. I am asking him to record them, even just on his phone, so he can remember and revive them next year.

Its time to start a new year. I want to be able to look ahead with anticipation. I have my new calendar for 2022 and I think some countdowns need to happen. I have some work that I’m not totally dreading that needs to get done! Maybe this coming week, when the kids are back to school, I can get into some of that.

But first – I crochet. Because its too good to not finish soon.

Rest well, friends.

Brady here!

I’d like to take a minute to correct myself. Please forgive my overuse of uppercase letters. They help reinforce my point. 😬 

Earlier in December I had an MRI. This was and will continue to be a routine thing that my oncologists request to happen every six months, most likely for the rest of my life. 

I received news shortly after, from my family doctor, that there was no evidence of the TUMOUR coming back and that the single little spot that they had been watching seemed to be gone. That spot was an unknown, there was a chance it was remaining TUMOUR but it could’ve also been scar tissue or gathered fluid or any number of things. They didn’t know what it was. Regardless, the most recent MRI showed that the spot was ‘less evident and questionably even present’. 

***

As a quick note I’d like to mention here that this was the only change from my July MRI to this one. There was no big change with this one that made me or anyone else think ‘NOW I’m cancer free.’ This was only a very small change. 

This MRI did NOT change my cancer diagnosis.

***

But I was excited and quickly went on my social media and announced I was ‘Cancer Free!’ 

For this, I apologize. 

I chose my words poorly. 

No doctors or medical professionals have said I’m ‘Cancer Free’. This type of cancer can be microscopic and no MRI will ever conclusively show the CANCER is gone. Only if the TUMOUR is growing back or not. 

What I should have said is ‘It looks like I am… CURRENTLY… TUMOUR free.’

The doctors told me early after my cancer diagnosis that with this type of cancer I will never be ‘in remission’ because there’s no way to confidently know that the cancer is completely gone. Like I said, it can be microscopic. 

I promise this announcement was not a bid for attention, it was a careless blunder of my words. And I am very sorry. Unfortunately, in my head ‘Cancer’ and ‘Tumour’ are synonymous and the truth is they’re not. 

We have made attempts on a smaller scale, person to person, to correct my mistake as problems have arisen but it seems to be spreading quicker than we can correct them. So I thought I’d try a mass correction. Maybe written word is more convincing than verbal. 🤷‍♂️

I’m not cancer free. 

Now on a personal level, Hailey and I believe that God healed me back when I was in rehab in March. We believe the cancer is gone. At least for now. 

But there has been no medical diagnosis that the cancer is gone. I’m still going through chemotherapy for another 4 months and I will continue to be watched very closely for the foreseeable future. 

I am truly sorry for the hurt, deceit, and miscommunication I’ve caused.  

Please continue to pray for us and follow along with us as we make our way along this crazy journey of cancer and paraplegia. 

I hope you have a wonderful end to the Christmas break! 

Happy New Year!!