Thank you, friends, for all the love and warmth yesterday. I will be honest and tell you that I don’t feel a ton of peace at this particular time of my life. In some ways, and in the most important ways, I have. I have peace with God. Truly. And above all else, that is most important. I do not, however, feel peace in the very other way. I feel discomfort, struggle, and stress. I feel like I’m changing into a worse person, and I’m fighting so hard not to. I don’t have a whole lot of recreational fight left in me to put towards that, and I’m nervous it’s all going to come to a head. I still have some thoughts to process. I’ll try and talk more about it when I’ve figured it out a little more. 

Yesterday was beautiful and brutal. I was SO celebrated and loved. My mom and Cher came out to the lake to join the fun. Brady worked hard to take all the punches the kids threw on his own. We ate a delicious supper of my choosing. We rested on the beach and had hardly any agenda. 

There was struggle though. The kids were in bad shape from the get go and it just never improved. They fought, disobeyed, and complained about what we did around every corner. It was so discouraging. For Brady and I both. He had made an evening plan for us that we finally had to decide to bail on because the kids just weren’t having it. It was really too bad. Definitely discouraging. 

Our supper was delicious! 

And I got beautiful gifts 🙂 sparkle balls, thick cozy socks, a beautiful canister for I don’t know what yet, a new swim top that fits perfectly, and money to go buy myself some fancy pants new crochet hooks! I’m SO excited! 

I have so so much to be thankful for. The blog yesterday was unreal. FILLED with love for me, complements, and care for my family. I felt treasured and loved all day. 

The evening wrapped up with cards and fire as we enjoyed our new site lights. 

Thank you to everyone who made it such a beautiful day for my heart. I may have struggled a little, butwon’t forget you beautiful people who put into me in the ways you did. Thank you! 

#33

Happy Birthday, Hailey! 
This is the first year you have not written a blog on your birthday, and I thought it was really special that I had creative freedom for this post, so I went with it.

First of all, I want to say, I am SO happy to have somehow been adopted by you and your family, despite our night and day differences. The past three and a half years of knowing you have had a depth of loyalty and love I never knew could exist between friends.

Even among the most heart shattering events of this year, you have remained the most loyal person I’ve ever known. Watching you grow into this immensely strong, capable woman through your darkest fears and navigate your new role has been an honour to watch unfold. 

Yet, there are still so many things that haven’t changed! And I wanted to quickly remind you of them. 

You are the only person I’ve ever known who can do awkward SO smoothly. No one ever feels stupid when they talk to you because you are so conscious of your words. You can turn anything weird into something charming and fun. 

You make sarcasm humorous and innocent in a world that uses it for bitterness. It is the most refreshing thing to talk to you everyday. You are always coming up with new ways to laugh and share your light. 

You still underestimate yourself when it comes to your talents, but that’s okay! I think your voice is so precious and beautiful. You are starting to sing more again and it makes the house brighter. You have been crocheting like a mad man, and making truly creative and beautiful pieces. 

You are still you. Even with all the big scary changes and the unknowns ahead. You are still God’s masterpiece. You are still an award winning wife and mother who would die for her family. 

Now, a few others wanted to pass along some words of love for you on your special day. You have been through SO much this year and there are many people who care about you and want you to know how loved and precious you are. So, find a washroom to hide in with your coffee because there are some long, beautiful moments ahead!

Let’s start at the very beginning of our lovely Hailey, shall we? Who else knows better than Jeanne?
__________

Happy Birthday, Hailey …. sweet daughter of mine …. my dream come true! July 30th, 1988 was an excellent day for me. You, my darling Hailey Jeanne were born. So many people were anticipating your birth and you were sure taking your time. 🙂  So finally I made a sign to announce your birth before hand, and left a few blank spaces to be filled in after your arrival. I think it was a least 6 weeks after I got home with you, that we finally had a day when we didn’t have someone over to celebrate you. We were all so happy to meet you and be part of your life.nYou were in no hurry to leave the safety of your mommy’s womb, but I’ll tell you, my girl, I sure was eager to meet you face to face.

And then…. There. You. Were…. my tiny little girl…… bellowing your heart out, your body changing from a very intense colour of blue into a robust bright red. Your cord had been wrapped around your tiny body but we had that out of the way in no time at all. They put you in my arms, my beautiful baby, with your black hair and those gorgeous dark eyes.  

My heart was so very full! 

I was so so happy to be your mommy! What could be better than that? Well Hailey, getting to know you, being your mommy and then your mom, and witnessing your whole life has increased this fullness of joy in my heart abundantly, if that’s even possible. As a child your heart was light and you’d flit around, (walking was to hum-drum for you:-) ) with a song in your heart and on your lips; literally. So beautiful! This song in your heart has never had a finale. The music has kept playing, even through some of your darkest times of life. Even when anguish and pain have been heavy in and around you, you’ve carried on, with a hope and confidence in God.  You continue to sing; opening your heart and your arms to anyone who needs a soft place to land or someone to talk to or be with. You have always and still have such a generous love for others.That love is a  true reflection of the divine and awesome love that God has for everyone. 

You are exquisite, Hailey.

Today, as I write this birthday message to you, I am so honoured to call you my daughter and my friend! Thank you for this “ultimate gift’ that only a child can give to their parent. It’s been such an amazing blessing for me to have been able to witness your journey in detail and in colour. You’ve kept me close to your heart and shared your living and your great love, with me, your whole life.  I am so grateful to God and to you for this immeasurable blessing. 

These days, you include me in your own family, with your own husband, children and friends. You welcome me, seemingly without hesitation, with open arms, into your home, into your celebrations and even into your difficult times.   

Thank you , with all my heart,  for loving me and including me, the way that you do!

May God bless you with:

lots of laughter

a continued song in your heart… forever

a continuing strong and vibrant relationship with your husband, your daughters and sons

good health

and the desires of your heart

Psalm 20:1-5

In times of trouble, may the Lord answer your cry.

    May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.

May He send you help from his sanctuary

    and strengthen you from Jerusalem.

May He remember all your gifts

    and look favorably on your burnt offerings.  

May He grant your heart’s desires

    and make all your plans succeed.

 May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory

    and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.

May the Lord answer all your prayers.

I have always loved you, Hailey,  since I knew you were in the making. 🙂 

And I will always love you, sweetheart!

Your Mom

________

My sweet friend, I hope your birthday is amazing like you are

You are such an inspiration to me.. and to many. You are so strong and faithful. God just knew how much you would love and bless your family. Your children have an amazing example to follow. You’re kindness and goodness is just the medicine Brady needs right now. God has such a great plan for your family. I’m so grateful to have met you and call you my friend. Love you, sweet Hailey. Happy birthday!! 
-Amy
__________

Hailey, I love you so much. You are a very special cousin to me! I have many cherished memories of time spent together as kids. Now you are an amazing mom and wife, and someone I’m glad to call friend. I am so in awe of the way you continue to show up to life each day, no matter how hard that may be. You are in my thoughts every single day. I hope that you feel special and loved today on your birthday. I love you! Love, Elise.
__________

A Dramatic Reading for Hailey’s Birthday

(adapted from a movie particularly meaningful to the birthday girl)

Oh, man. I am so wired.

More so than usual?

Way more.

I made a model of centennial last night complete with guests.

I stayed up all night.

I’ve got the entire thing

planned out, every detail.

you didn’t sleep?

you should have slept.

I’m a freak, aren’t I?

No, you’re just very… focused.

Exactly. So what do you think

of my mom’s red halter?

For your interview today?

It’s a little slutty.

Let me rephrase. What do you think

Brad’ll think of my mom’s red halter?

I think Brad has

better taste than that.

Really? Okay, see you in a minute.

Got milk?

Thanks a lot.  You’re a lifesaver.

You’re welcome.

Sorry about that.

It’s goat’s milk.

Uh-huh.

Dad, bring home the milk.

-fin-

Cheers to 33 years of sisterhood, and to the next 33!  Love you Hailey!

❤️Caity

__________

Happy birthday Hailey!  You were the sweetest little girl way back when my Mom babysat you.  You stole my heart back then and I feel blessed to have kept in contact with you, catered your wedding and now as you raise your own beautiful children.  You have been such an inspiration to me as a loving, supportive wife and mother.  I pray that God will bless you with joy, good health and all your dreams come true!  Love you girl!

-Jocelyn
_________

Happy Haileyday!   What a marvelous creation God concocted the day He came up with YOU.   

I don’t know if you know how much and how often I’ve marveled at your exceptional parenting.  Probably not, because I tend to rave about you to your Mom or to my sisters and seldom to you!   I’ve often wished I’d had you as a friend to observe when I was learning to be a parent.   Your kids are your resume.

And recently, I’ve been just as impressed with your wife-ing.   You are a wise, rational, compassionate woman in spite of the fit- and-spurts, spits-and-furts emotional blender you’ve been in.    Your struggle with the physical repercussions of high stress is surprising only in how far you’ve gone and how capable you’ve remained in the midst of it all.   I’m sad my own health keeps me at a distance, but I have to say, I’m grateful beyond words to have you in my life and to be a small part of your life.   

If you knew how pleasing you are to the Lord, you’d just get annoyingly conceited, so just as well you don’t.   But I hope, as a birthday gift,  you get a fresh glimmer of how He sees you  — that would have to give you immeasurable pleasure, strengthening, courage and affirmation.   I’m praying that He leads you into deeper discernment, to take every thought captive in obedience to Him, and to focus on the Lord, and whatever else is true, honest pure, lovely, of virtue, praiseworthy.   

I love you, dear Hailey.   💜💛🧡Willa

__________

Happy Birthday to our beautiful ‘next dork neighbor’ you are such a strong, loving, and thoughtful person, we’re wishing you all the happiness (and that you never run out of yarn mid project ) in the year ahead!! 

Love, the Starkells 

__________

Hailey, your friendship has been an unexpected and very sweet gift to me. Praying for strength & endurance for each moment of this crazy hard/amazingly blessed journey you are on with your family (and with your own health). I’m learning that it’s okay not to be okay…God wants to hear our sad and our happy. -Donalda

__________

Hailey you are an amazing lady! Always looking on the bright side, caring about everybody you love, you give so much to your family & friends. I know you and your family have been going though so much these last couple years, through it all you’ve shown that being kind to others, even when it’s the hardest, is something you’ll never stop doing. It shows so much to your personality. Teaching your children the same values really adds beauty to this world. I hope you know that’s exactly what you do. You are a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul, as result you add beautiful things to this world that will keep on being beautiful for years to come! I’m so happy to have met you, Keep being exactly YOU!

Lots of love Carlinna

__________

Hailey, happy birthday! Life has changed a lot for you in this last trip around the sun, there’s no denying it. You’ve faced some serious challenges and there are undoubtedly more to come. We’d like to spend a bunch of time now telling you how awesome you are (because it’s true!), and how great you are doing (which is entirely the case!), but we’re learning that we’re not nearly as awesome as we thought we were, and that, behind closed doors especially, we don’t always do that great. So what we want to share with you is a different thing we’re learning: that the hard times are special opportunities to trust God, even if you have next to zero legitimate faith to offer. Take it from us firstborns, who love to be in control of things: God insists he can handle things, and anytime we take him at his word, he does handle them, not often in a way that is easy necessarily, but in a good way that brings glory to him and unmistakably shows that he is truly a good, trustworthy, loving father. We would hope this for you and yours, more than anything; to be a part of God’s story – and you are! It’s happening to you right now. And we can’t think of a better birthday present – not the trials and struggles and tragedies of your life, of course, but the fact that, as you walk, you’re bringing glory to him. And no matter how many times you might trip or wander off in the wrong direction, his love for you stays the same. 

Well done, sis. Here’s to another year following after him!

Very much love,

Simon and Grace

__________

Hailey Born. Happy stinkin birthday! I can’t begin to tell you how incredible you are. You’re a phenomenal wife and mom, even though I’m sure it doesn’t feel like it, but you truly are. I know nothing is perfect, but your kids and marriage are a testament of how incredible you are. You put your all into your family, and it doesn’t go unseen. You are so beautiful, Hailey, inside and out. I’m in awe of how strong you are, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You are so, so loved. -A friend

__________

Hailey- I find myself looking over the past year and planning for the next on my birthdays. This past year has been a doozy for you and your family! You have survived it and helped Brady and the kids survive and flourish. May the next year be full of joy and accomplishments! I love you!
Rae

__________

….and of course I had to save the best for last…..

__________

Selfless love. That is what comes to mind when I think of Hailey. She is the most considerate, generous, selfless, patient person I’ve ever met. Instinctively, she’ll go out of her way to help people in distress, in pain, or even just discomfort. She’s thoughtful, ingenious, hardworking, and most of all, she loves her people. Endlessly. She will love and care for and comfort anyone who comes to her.

I genuinely consider myself to be the luckiest man in the world because she calls me her husband. We started out as kids and have grown up together and I have learned so, so much from her. She’s legit. Best ever. Top notch. She’s amazing and I adore her and  I’m lucky to be in her life. 

Hailey, I love you higher than I can jump! Further than I can run! I love you so much I can’t even stand it! 

Happy Birthday my dear!

Hey this is Brady again! And I’ve got more good news!!

I got my new wheelchair!👨‍🦽

For those of you well versed in the ways of accessability, it’s a TiLite ZRA. I’m new to the accessability game but from what I understand it’s a highly sought after chair in this day and age.

Custom made, all titanium frame, sized exactly to my body dimensions and unpainted so scratches will be unnoticeable. Black anodized rims and accessories. 12 spoke wheels so there’s less chances of catching my fingers. Front suspension to minimize setting off my clonus. It’s all designed exactly around my needs. 🤗

The chair that I’ve been using up until now has a been a very well welcome upgrade from what I had in the hospital but I can tell where it’s limits are. It’s slightly too big for me, harder to fit through doorways. Fixed handles on the back would catch on door jambs and doors and make it harder to manoeuvre in tighter spaces. Slightly more weight made it just a bit harder for Hailey to lift into the van and up and down our stairs. Skinny, worn out tires often spun out when the rolling got tough.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a very welcome loaner from the hospital but it had its limits.

The TiLite has the advantage in all of those areas. It fits me perfectly, it’s lighter, it rolls smoother and longer, the fold down handles allow me to move in tighter spaces and best of all it’s mine! I have no issues adjusting it to exactly how I want. Anti-tippers gone, balance point on a knifes edge, footplate angled just so to prevent clonus. It’s perfect! Now I look for excuses just to be in my chair moving around. 😂

I had pulled out my tools and started adjusting my chair before the end of my first day with it. Consider me a wheelchair mechanic extraordinaire. 😎

The last thing I want to mention is the second set of tires that were provided with it.

They’re essentially mountain bike tires and they swap out in seconds. They work really well in rougher terrain like we have around our campsite. I’ve been excited to try them out here and today is the first chance I’ve had. They work great! They make the wheelchair an option at the lake. 😊

Overall I’m super stoked to have my own chair and for it to be as awesome as it is. I’m so excited to have it!

Now watch as I wheel off into the distance…

Tomorrow, we head back to the lake! Brady, Cher, and I have worked hard through July to strike a balance that somehow makes prepping less overwhelming for my body and my brain. While I feel content with our setup, my body tends to completely panic the day before we leave, and I struggle through additional anxiety, heartburn, and sickness.

This last time around, I think we got it!!! I am SO relieved, and so are my beautiful people who are eager to help me.

Even though we are leaving tomorrow, and my body is still unhappy out of routine, we are SO organized and my brain and heart feel content.

The changes we made are as follows:

While at the lake, as I packed up to go home, I took a few extra minutes to separate the laundry. Not in a big specific way. I made a kids clothes hamper, a bag for Brady and I, and then a bag of towels. With that, laundry went FAST and EASY! To be clear, though, I didn’t do a stitch of laundry. It was ALL Cher 💜 The moment everything was dry and ready, she folded ALL the kids stuff and put them back into the hampers to go back to the lake. Boom! Kids clothes DONE!

Another change we made was that Brady and I meal planned on the drive home from our last stretch at the lake! We did that out of necessity, because we knew we only had three days in between, and three different appointments over the first two days. So while I drove, Brady and I listed meals we wanted to have on our next trip out. Then we made a big list of all the items we’d need to bring to make them happen, and then Cher took pictures of our food around the house so we could see what we needed to buy and what we just needed to gather up. Before we got home, we had our list of food to pack AND a grocery list! Its important to say that this wouldn’t have really aided a whole lot if not for my mom offering to do our shopping for us 💜 What a HUGE relief that was!

Now, it is the day before. My heartburn is worse than it often is, even with all my meds working hard for me, and while my body is mad, I feel truly content. Today, we chop veggies. We gather up all the odds and ends. We put things that are completely ready out in the garage, ready to be packed.

And tomorrow, we pack coolers and tetris everything into the van. Boom. Done!

What a relief.l Hopefully packing and unpacking and repacking can be so much smoother through August!

Does anyone else get this reference?

The fish in the tank from Finding Nemo? They nickname Nemo ‘Sharkbait’ and start chanting ‘Sharkbait! Hooo haha!’

No? Just me and myself?

Ok.

This is Brady by the way. And I’m here with an announcement.

We finished the deck at the lake!

We completed the main deck and the stairs a while back and ran into some issues with the permit because the building inspector didn’t want us to build a roof with out concrete footings dug into the ground.

Well we showed him!

Because he was replaced by someone else.

The new guy was much more accommodating to our desire for a roof and said as long as it’s freestanding and not attached to a building then we can build it resting on deck blocks. We got word that our application had been approved last Tuesday morning and by 1pm we were building already. It was good timing too because the older four kids were spending the first four days of the week at day camp so we were free of most of our daily responsibilities until the end of Thursday. 🤗

We started by cutting and prepping the posts and both beams and by the end of the day we had one beam standing. It was a bit risky because standing the first beam permanently pinned the existing camper awning to the camper making it unusable. But we were on our way!

And then it rained.

It really rained. Overnight. It poured close to 2 hours. All I could think about while it was raining was that we couldn’t use the old awning. And everything out side was getting soaked. Towels. Bathing suits. Shoes. Tools. Everything was soaked.

And we were motivated. 😂

A quick coffee by the fire and we were hard at it again. We managed to assemble and stand the second beam, level and plumb both beams, and cut all the joists by lunch.

I had realized though that I had used the wrong 2x6s at one point in building the deck and we no longer had enough materials to make all the joists out of. So over lunch we packed up the one kid left with us and headed to the closest lumber yard for more lumber.

That was a short trip full of sweetness (from Wavy) and delicious food (from McDonald’s) and we were back and working by 1:30.

We made quick work of sliding each joist into the hangers on the beams and shortly after they were all nailed in place and secure.

I maaaaay have found myself up on a ladder.

Dumb and Dumber anyone?

We finished off day 2 by prepping the battens. (2x4s laid perpendicular to the joists to which the roof panels are screwed down. I had to google the term. 😂) I wanted them to be notched to rest on top of the joists for both aesthetics and functionality. By notching them 1.5” over the joists, that left 2” of batten above the joists. That way the tops of the battens matched the tops of the beams at either end and the roof panels would sit flush all the way across.

Science.

Day 3 was a shorty because we had a much more important birthday to celebrate. I spent about an hour in the late afternoon making sure the whole structure was squared up and posts were plumb. I also added angle braces at the tops of the posts to add stability under precipitation load.

We had a pretty wicked hail storm that evening and we were counting ourselves lucky we hadn’t tried to get the roofing installed that day already. That coulda been bad news!

Day 4 was another shorter day because it was just so gol’ darn windy! We spent an hour or so in the afternoon sliding the battens in place and Hailey climbed up to screw them all down to the joists. It was pretty good looking at that point. 😍

And the structure didn’t look bad either. 😉

Day 5 was our last full day before going home and we were determined to get it done that day. And the kids were determined that they were bored and wanted to go to the ‘Ark Park’. A playground designed to look like Noah’s Ark which is just a bit too far to let them all go by themselves. So the morning was spent drinking coffee and watching the kids play. But the afternoon, hoooo boy, we decided to get back to work.

We had one 2×4 to screw in place which I had forgotten about. It’s purpose was added support for the roof panels along the front edge. Then we cut the polycarbonate tinted roof panels to length, laid them all up there to make sure everything lined up square and then started screwing them down.

Roughly 2 hours later we were done! Hailey put the last few screws in, I took the remaining temporary supports down and packed up the tools.

We’re incredibly happy with it! 🤗🎉 I highly recommend this for anyone who has a permanent camping spot. Protection from the rain, relief from the sun and I have to say it adds a homey, lakelife feel to our site. I feel more relaxed and slow moving as I exit the camper and step out onto the deck. 😊

Anyways, our deck is done and our campsite is another step closer to what we’ve been dreaming about all winter.

Hope you enjoyed the play by play!

Until next time…

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about Rowan on here in terms of his sleep and behavior. Its hard to really give a confident judgement of things, being as his routine is out the window this summer! Everything is completely different than how it was, so there has been a time of change and adjustment there. But he’s doing well in many ways, and I have enjoyed watching him learn to roll with the punches the best way he can.

I don’t remember if I talked about it in detail, but when we first got to the lake, Rowan did his fair share of sleepwalking. It was similar to how he sleepwalks at home, except less familiar. He would climb out of his bunkbed, mildly distressed, and come find me. I would do as usual, and gently walk him back to bed. No fuss, no muss.

Except, the camper was less familiar, as I said. When I’d try to lay him back down, he would lay cross the other boys, perpendicular to his bed. I would try to help him get to his spot, and he would get very upset. Then, usually, he’d wake up, and PANIC. He would scream and tantrum and wake the whole family and he was completely irrational.

It. Was. Horrible.

We’ve settled in well since then, and he hadn’t walked in his sleep at camp for weeks. But he did this last time. Once.

I woke up to him crying, stumbling around, trying to get out of bed and find us for help. I went to him right away, and he easily submitted to me walking him back to bed. But he did the dreaded move – he lay across the beds, with his legs on Solly and his feet touching Dekker. I was SO soft and sweet with him, trying to very simply explain his position, and that he was on Solly’s bed. He immediately got upset and said Solly always was touching his bed. Haha! Not the point, but I giggled a little at his sleepy defence. I was trying to work quickly to get him back to where he belonged without waking everyone, but without upsetting him further and waking him up. I said over and over “I want to help you, Rowan. I’m going to help you. Please let me help you!” And thank the Lord, I got it right!

I crawled past Rowan onto his mattress, and said “Oh wow! Rowan! I found your pillow! Its over here!” In that moment, he heaved an audible sigh of relief, and sat back up in an effort to come over to me. But he was SO disoriented and droopy, he lay down in the proper direction, but was still very far from his pillow. He started to cry again, so I said “Rowan, can I help you get there” and he paused….. and then whispered “Yes please.” So I hooked his armpits and hauled him up to his pillow with me.

The moment he felt his pillow, he grabbed his blanket in one arm, put me in a headlock in the other arm, and kissed my face over and over and over. Probably almost ten times. And then his arms relaxed, and he settled into his mattress. Not another sound.

And guys, it felt SO VICTORIOUS. No one got mad. No one panicked. I thought really clearly, considering the hour of the night, and he was receptive and willing to work with me. He trusted me. And God directed us, as he does.

I had a hard time winding down after that. Not because I was all flustered and worked up, but because I felt SO GOOD. I was so grateful for how well that interaction had gone!

And he had zero memory of it in the morning. What a win! Thank you, Lord!

Yesterday was a day of firsts. Three firsts, in fact.
We have never had a sting of any kind amongst our kids, but yesterday was the day for it!! Yikes!
Dekker was first. He and Laela were filling up the wagon with wood when he got attacked. He got stung on the arm and then over on the other hand. He was across the campground, but was lovingly walked back to our site by another caring dad, and someone who was just visiting for the day helped Laela fill the wagon and bring it back 💜 Everyone was so caring. It was awesome.

Towards the end of the day, Rowan could be heard screaming like he was being skinned alive. Before I could even go run for him, he was at our site, bawling, holding his eye. Braden was closely behind, as his youngest had been with Rowan when he got stung. Unfortunately, it turned out that his son got hit, too :/ Yet he still chased after Rowan to make sure he got back to us safe 💜

Needless to say, Rowan was in quite a bit of distress. He had never had a sting, and on the eye is just so scary. I convinced him to let me put a wet paper towel on it but that was IT. He wasn’t pumped. The snuggle was good, though.

As today stands, everyone is ok. Dekker is completely over it and when asked by someone, he had forgotten. Rowan still looks like he got a bite, but he’s happy and is more amped about the great story 😆

My goodness he is just the CUTEST little thing! 😍

Aaaaanyway. Firsts. They’re not always exciting fun milestones but they’re things we go through, and my big strong boys are more than fine! Just a little bit more experience to share 🙂

I’ve talked about plans a lot in the past. They make me feel sane. I like having an idea of when I’ll be where, so I can be productive while also having things to look forward to.

In the last couple of years, however, a lot of my plans have been turned on their heads, and I’ve learned just how how little control we actually have over a lot of things. I’ve said it a lot – plans are just placeholders while we wait to see what is actually going to happen.

I didn’t really even have a chance to make a plan for this year. It was already very clear last year that something was happening with Brady, and it became top priority VERY early on in the year. I think that is actually a blessing, because I don’t feel like we’ve had to let a whole bunch of big lofty plans and dreams go by the wayside, though of course we would have! Brady comes SO FAR AHEAD of any little plan we might have toyed with.

Back when Brady was first going for his MRIs, I had a hunch that I needed to prepare for something. Maybe you remember. I was meal prepping, freezing things, pre-writing blogs, etc., and at that time, not a single thing was confirmed or scheduled. I just felt like it was the calm before the storm. Well, “calm.” And then, lo and behold, Brady had surgery, ended up paralyzed, and lived in the hospital for the next nine weeks! I had started writing a few blogs, some just titles or ideas, to help me write when my brain was clearly elsewhere. One of my titles was centred around new years resolutions.

I had a GOOD laugh about that. Like, it was a pretty sick laugh in the moment, but its a funny one now, I promise. Resolutions?? Like plans? COMMITMENTS?!?! Heck no!! There is NO way I could even remotely claim to be working towards anything that wasn’t just surviving. It took a while for me to know that was enough. I’m here now.

From where we are right now, toward the end of July, I think I can write out a handful of things that sort of count as resolutions? Intentions? Ideals? Aaaaanyway, here you have it.

We built the deck at the lake. I’d love it if we could finish the awning, too, before the weekend is over.

I’d like to find a counsellor that is a good fit for me.

I’d like to find a financial advisor that I trust.

I’d like to crochet each of my children a blanket for Christmas. (This one is a secret from them, obviously. Don’t tell!)

I’d like to organize another homemade gift exchange like I did the last two Christmases. It feels like it’ll be a stretch but I SO enjoy it!!

I think these appear to be reasonable goals. There are much loftier ones out there, but they are lower pressure, with lesser specifics to measure, and definitely not things to accomplish by the years end. Sure, I’d love to find peace about not feeling capable of doing sooooo many things that I used to. I’d love to be able to host people at my house, or to take my kids out, or to run errands as a family, or to buy my own groceries, or to just feel like less of a mess. But I think all of that will come with time, and maybe one day, I’ll just look at my life and think “Huh. Remember when I couldn’t do those things? I wonder when I started again.” Goodness I cannot wait for that day.

So. The goals.

Build an awning.
Find a counsellor and financial advisor.
Crochet some big projects.
Organize an event.

This is all doable. Three of the things are fun. The other two are important and beneficial. I can do it.

Does anyone care to share a goal they have for the remainder of the year, so I don’t have to feel like a dork making new years resolutions in July?

Yesterday was SO fun. It really couldn’t have been better, honestly. To be clear, it wasn’t just me who felt that way. Cher’s birthday was a huge success, and was enjoyed by all!!
Cher arrived to our spot shortly after 8, and we already had a fire going. My mom wasn’t far behind. I ducked out to drop the kids off at day camp around 9, and then the festivities began!

Birthday scones have become a tradition, as well as bacon, that was made on the barbecue 🤤 No photo evidence of that one because it was gone too fast.
We lurked by the fire most of the morning before heading to a nearby beach, just to mix it up. Mom and Cher had water fights with Wavy, Brady napped and sunburned, and I photographed the whole thing.

Brady and I did go in together for a little bit 💜 it is a challenge for him as the water gets less clear, but it’s fun for a bit for sure! I loved it.

Finally we had been out in the sun long enough that I called it on behalf of the fear of heat exhaustion. We carted ourselves back home, got into dry clothes, and went to retrieve the kids from their final day of day camp. It was sweaty and loud and fun and Wavy pooped and smelled sooooo bad 😆 an excellent time was had by all! Thank you, grandma, for sending our beautiful children to camp 💜
The kids barely came back to our site before running back out after their friends. Brady used that time to work a little more on the awning, and we kept a fire going despite the sweltering heat and sunburns.

The kids had grilled cheese for supper, and once that was done, the birthday supper began! For Cher’s day, we got appetizers from M&M.

That includes cheddar cheese balls, battered pickles, garlic shrimp, bacon wrapped steak skewers, and cheese stuffed mushroom caps. It was absurdly delicious, and a couple of the kids even came for some tastes here and there. It was so fun to share that meal all together around the fire, the four of us adults, and the occasional kid. SO good! A really really nice memory.
It started to get a little rainy, so we got organized on the site and put away the things that needed to stay dry. Finished our food. Brought in towels, etc.
And good thing we did that, because out of nowhere we were hit with a hailstorm.

It was LOUD!!! And a little intimidating! All nine of us piled into the camper and watched the hail come down. It was the longest hailstorm I can remember, but it did end, and order was restored. Vehicle damage, of course, but the camper remains strong 💪
Once the really loud part of the storm was over, we broke out the dessert! It was already late, but my mom had brought a beautiful drumstick cake! One of my favorites and I KNEW Cher would love it.

She did! Woot!
Then the little birthday girl was all tuckered out and took a little cat nap 😴

Then it was getting late and it was time for she and my mom needed to get started on the two hour drive home. We are SO grateful they made the trek out and spent the day here with us 💜
What a beautiful day celebrating a beautiful girl with our beautiful family 💜💜💜 thank you Lord for all you’ve given us!

Today is an important day. Today we celebrate the day, on which, thirty-one years ago, Cher entered the world. I wasn’t there personally, but I imagine she was pink, and that she cried and squirmed for a bit, like babies do. She probably liked things like milk and pooping. She was probably scrawny and fuzzy. She probably wore sleepers and onesies and sucked on her fingers when she was hungry. I say again. I wasn’t there.
What I CAN tell you is that Cher is far from ordinary. She may have done the baby things that pretty much all babies do, but the woman she is now is no average woman.

I am over the moon with pride to call this beautiful Cher Andrea my best friend. Since we have known one another, we have seemed to almost trade off crises, and this last one on my end has been a doozy. And she has stayed by, working hard to do everything she can to make my life as smooth as possible, even when its unpopular and hard. Even amidst all of HER stuff. I was never off her list. And it showed.
I know my memory is fuzzier than it was a year or so ago, but I will never forget the things we’ve gone through, and more than that, the things we’ve COME through successfully, side by side!
Our friendship is one of the books. We know it. Many others see it. We have a beautiful thing, designed and explained only by our Heavenly Father, and I am overwhelmed with gratefulness that he brought you and I together to be best friends in the midst of all the messes and chaos.

Hey check it out I’m wearing the same color in every picture 🤦🏼‍♀️

My sweet Cher, I thank God for you every day. I am so glad you were born those 31 years ago. I couldn’t imagine my family without you. My only regret is that I didn’t get to know you sooner. But hey. We have a lifetime 💜God knows. I’m looking forward to all that is to come.
I love you, Cher. Happy birthday 🎂