There have been some high points today, and I have cute pictures to back them up! Hopefully you can join in our bright spots ☀️

Wavy somehow got a chocolate granola bar instead of an almond one today at lunch, and really made it count! Lucky girl! Good thing there are some brown animals on her sleeper. The chocolate can just blend right in as though it belongs.

Then she went down for a nap, and we made eggs for lunch. Turns out, we all felt decisive in different directions today! Three adults, three different kinds of eggs.

Then I took Brady to radiation and Cher hung at our house. When we came home, she had left this on our fridge. She was SUPER casual about it, but I LOVE it!!!

Shortly after we got home, nap time was over! Or was it?

It was once everyone came home 🙂 Rowan read his green bag book with Brady, and he was really excited to show him the book he chose!! I LOVE that this is something that will never be “weird” in our house. 💜

Its good to lay out some of the positives like this and have some light memories on record during this time of our life. It was a cute day, despite the visit to the cancer centre and everything that goes along with that.

We praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Time is fleeting, and we don’t know the future. But for this moment in time, in its own small way, order is restored.

There is some normalcy back in our lives.

We can all rest a little easier, and breathe a little easier.

Brady being gone took a big piece of our family away. A big piece of our normal. Who would’ve thought Brady was SO normal?! 😆It is such a relief to have that back. To have him back.

If you think of us today, please do pray. Week two of radiation begins, and we are hoping his bigger side effects are just adjustments that come along with the first week. But, God’s will be done! We will take what comes, and with His help, we can handle it!

Take care of us, Lord. Wherever we land, protect us.

Cher here! 

When I visited Hailey and Brady today for a few short minutes, I could tell how tired they were. THEY HAVE DONE SO WELL. I wanted to write a little about my perspective on how I have observed things since Brady has been back. 
First, absolutely everyone is happier. EVERYONE. Even my days are easier, knowing my best friend is okay, and her husband is home and doing well. Wednesday was such a whirlwind day. There have been such big changes for everyone settling back into normal life.. but life isn’t normal. It’s still new. Still, lots to figure out as time goes on. I know they know that. 

When Brady went for his surgery, he took Hailey with him. I didn’t even realize it until he came back home for good. Hailey’s demeanor changed immediately. Her capacity grew. Her observations grew. Her smiles stayed longer. She has that bounce in her step again. Less things seem forced. Still, there is fear, I know. But there is also confidence and relief. 

Hailey and Brady went for their first walk in town yesterday. They stopped by at my house to say hello, and it just felt SO normal. Laughing, joking, hugging. Nothing felt heavy, scary, or weird. I loved that so much. It felt like old times, the three of us being goofs. You should have seen Hailey’s eyes. Just pure happiness. 

Brady is pretty tired from radiation, so he naps a lot more. Yet, he still finds the strength to scoot downstairs and spend time with the kids. He is still himself. Still absolutely welcoming, kind, positive, and funny. I know he is so happy to be home, and so are we. It’s a huge comfort for him I’m sure, but for all of us, to see him walking with crutches and being able to get in and out of the house and vehicle. He is still very independent; despite ALL he has been through. I am absolutely amazed by you, Brady! You have some physical boundaries, but you find ways around them without complaining or ever feeling sorry for yourself. You are such a good example for your kids. 

There is an adjustment period still. I think the most for Hailey. Her brain is so GOOD at soothing itself, but her poor body holds stress. Please pray for her heartburn. It is overwhelming for her, and I know all she wants is to be present and feel good with her family. It seems so unfair that she must endure such pain and discomfort when she should be able to enjoy and embrace the changes. 

I have said a few times before that Hailey is the type that can bloom in a forest fire. Nothing I have said takes away her positive attitude, her faith, her perseverance, or her strength. If anything, she is STRONGER than ever before. She is so capable; more than she will ever admit. All along, she was blooming. 

So, when you think of my Hailey, please pray for her. Pray for them all, too. Pray for smooth. Pray for solutions. Pray for healing.

Brady has completed one out of five weeks of radiation! I thought it would be good to let everyone know how its been going 🙂 

We’ve gotten into a bit of a groove. It only takes about a half hour to drive there. We park in the same spot each time, and then I get Brady’s chair out of the back of the van, and he heads into the cancer centre. The whole process is very quick. Originally I imagined I’d accomplish things while I waited for him, but today it was less than 20 minutes before he texted that he was on his way back. Sometimes I scroll my phone. Sometimes I phone Cher. Its pretty relaxed. And then when Brady comes back, I spot him while he gets into the van, and load his chair back up. Thats it, thats all! 

When Brady goes into the centre, he checks in with the front desk, and they confirm his schedule for the next day. He gets his time slots for the week on Monday, but he has to bring the schedule in every single day because it can change anytime. Then he goes back to his particular location, takes off his shirt, lays on something like an exam table, and he’s lifted up in the air so the lasers can move around him and get him in juuuuust the right place. Then he’s blasted in three places by radiation, taking a total of 2-3 minutes. And then he’s good to go! Thats all it is! 

The most important part of this post is how Brady’s been feeling. The answer is that he’s definitely feeling it. His first treatment was Monday afternoon, and he was nauseated by morning :/ He’s been fighting for betterment since then, and yesterday, was finally was given a good prescription for the best nausea medicine on the market, in my opinion! Hopefully that really helps. He’s also been completely exhausted, as so many people said he would be. Last night, we were both asleep right around 9:30pm. His legs have been feeling weak and fatigued as well – more than usual. But he’s coping and doing his best, and we’re trying to give him all the grace possible. 

I wish week one had gone a little bit smoother, and that the radiation hadn’t affected him as much as it had. He had SO much energy just a few days before he came home, and I know he would’ve vastly preferred to come home with that level of energy. But we know this is for a time 💜 And its going to be just fine. We can do some tired weeks. God knows what we need. 

I have been working hard to keep record of the people I want to thank. To be clear, I do believe that these people who have poured into us in the last two months are not doing so for thanks or recognition, but to bless and help and aid us in one of the most surreal, daunting, upside down times of our lives. But my gratefulness and appreciation is abounding and I feel like it has nowhere to go! Its a little overwhelming, to be honest. 

So far, we literally have 100 financial donations online, plus countless gifts of cash, cheques, and gift cards galore. You do not understand how crazy that is. Or how much you have saved our butts with Brady living at the hospital for two full months. So, if I were to send out thankyous, that would be a confident 150 cards right there. 

Then there is food. We were fed every single supper in February, and three days a week in March. Many people have brought a supper, plus something else to freeze, or a big dessert, or something for the kids lunches, etc. Even with meals brought every other day, I have made a meal once or twice at the very most. And my freezer is FULL of premade meals, baking, meat, and every food gift you can imagine. On top of the scheduled meals, I am regularly offered fresh baking, a pail of soup, etc. We have NOT gone without. These gifts have saved me from cooking, have given me the opportunity to actually rest in that half hour before supper. They’ve saved both hassle and money. I will never forget someone casually bringing a pan of cinnamon buns over with an envelope filled with 20s on top. Its such a crazy time of life. If I had to guess how many people have fed us in one way or another, I’d say AT LEAST 75 people. Minimum.

Then there’s the kids. People have not forgotten about our kids, and it shows!! They have not gone without in any of this, having been blessed with gifts of books, craft supplies, games, and treats. They’ve even been on some special outings with a couple of people in our circle, so they have felt solidly special and loved. Every weekend, they ALL go off together, and get some good attention and a change of scenery, and I can breathe while our friends take on the task of five active children for an entire day!

There is no possible way to remember everything that has happened in order to show us support. Our house is cleaned regularly. Our laundry is done weekly. Other moms have taken my parent helper slots at the preschool. People have driven my kids to school. Their bikes are set up, oiled and filled, for the season. The garage is tidier because of others helping me move heavy things and hauling away donations. Blogs have been written for me. Groceries have been paid for and brought over often. Flowers were sent. Parking was paid for. Gas was paid for. People come at the drop of a hat to help me with mundane jobs. People going out of their way to make our life easier, over and over and over again. 

And here I am, beating myself up for not doing ANY of these things myself!!! But then, at the end of the day, I am dead exhausted, without having accomplished ANY basic house tasks, and I see the deep obvious need for help. So I accept it, gratefully, and humbly. All of this is completely unreal. Never have I seen anything like this, nor did I ever expect such a thing. 

On top of ALL of these needs being met, with love and willingness, we are being prayed for in a completely overwhelming way. I know we don’t all believe the same things, and I cannot make anyone believe anything. But consider that Brady healing and progressing the way he is is NOT a thing of this world. Him defying odds and defying science is because his strength is found in Christ alone!!! No other explanation will suffice. We know this to be true, and I hope you see it for yourself. The prayers of our church, our friends, our family far and wide, certain Facebook prayer groups, and many many people we don’t even know. That has been one of the craziest things – to see people come out of the woodwork and reach out, without little to no knowledge of us at all, to help us carry the load. To bear the burden of others. It is so strange to be on this side of the fence, but it would far more devastating to be completely alone. I imagine the number of people who I would thank for praying for us would be astronomical. I can’t even fathom. I can’t even ballpark. 

We could not do what we’re doing without every single one of you. We are not entitled to an ounce of help, yet here we are, surviving fairly smoothly, never going without anything we truly need. 

For you, friends, and for this support, I praise the Lord. 

Yesterday was a gigantic whirlwind of a beautiful day. What we expected to be a one last hour at the hospital, packing up his room and saying some goodbyes turned into a fast paced effort to get Brady a WAY better wheelchair than the one he’s had the entire time he’s been at the hospital. Its a very long story, but the one that had been ordered for him so long ago appeared to not have even been started, the requisition lost, and on top of that, it was clear to everyone around us that it wasn’t a good fit for Brady. So he was swept away with the Golden Mobility guy to have measurements taken and to list his preferences for a number of things for what will eventually be HIS new chair. One of the OTAs worked her butt off for the next while assembling him a significantly better chair to go home in than what he had, which was a huge relief. And while all of this was going on, I was back in his room, trying to pack it up as fast as I could. At this point, we have a really nice relationship with the lady who often cleans his room, so she was in there, visiting with me. It was really really nice.

Before we left, I was able to chat with and say goodbye to Brady’s physical therapist, Kari. I really really like her, and I feel some sadness to now just be gone… I was honest with her about that, and she was SO warm and reassured me that we were by no means “cut off,” though she understood how it could feel that way. She gave me her contact information and told me she would be disappointed if we just left and never got back in touch. I liked that.

After a longer wait than we anticipated, Brady got the loaner chair that fit him SO much better, and we left the hospital!!

It was at that point where we decided we still had enough time before radiation to go out for lunch. And I do mean out for lunch. No drive-thru food in the van for us!

The firecracker burger is just about always the way to go for Brady! We ate and held hands and enjoyed each other’s company. A maybe 40-ish year old man was wheeling out of the restaurant, smiled BIG when he saw Brady, and offered up a “Nice wheels!” I secretly loved that! Yet another community we did not choose to be in that contains warm, understanding people.

After his appointment at the cancer centre, we picked up some iced capps for us and Cher, in honour of her brothers life, and headed home! HOME! Finally!!!

The wheelchair stayed outside, and Brady made his way into the house on his crutches, just how he had wanted.

It was a warm reception, to say the least. 😍

After we all spent some time just sitting together, Brady decided he had enough energy for a photo opp, so we did that!!

We may not have the ramp yet, but the sidewalk is a BEAUTIFUL addition to our home! A confident place to show the kids his wheelie skills.

We tried to get organized for some impromptu family pictures! Only one kid cried.

We finally got there!!!

We went back inside and ordered a feast of pizza. Our first legit supper together in a long, long time.

At the table, we thanked the Lord for bringing Brady back home to us, and for keeping him safe. And if you think the ribbon cutting for the sidewalk was good, this one was even BETTER!

Just gonna say, that hospital bracelet has been on for two months, and it was disguuuuusting, hahaha! Will spare you that picture 😂

We spent the remainder of the evening opening cards, from all of us here at home, as well as EVERY student in Dekker’s class! That was an incredible surprise!

The theme was bang on, if you ask me.

Be srong 🥰

The night ended early, with immense fatigue and total, complete exhaustion. But relief, finally falling asleep in the same bed. I have dearly missed sharing my evening with Brady, and I like to believe he’s missed sharing space with me, too.

There is just such relief. There is SO much more uncertainty to come, but at least I have my partner in crime beside me again.

Thank you, friends, for being so supportive and excited with us as we anticipated Brady’s homecoming. The road is long, and continues to be bumpy and messy, but it is incredibly reassuring to have so many of you in our corner, supporting and encouraging us.

Thank you, Lord, for making it possible that Brady can be home. Continue to grant him health and strength, and for the rest of us, as well. Our hope is in You.

Cher here!

I sat on this for an entire day. How do I start a blog like this? A blog on a big day. It’s not just a big day for me this year, it’s a big day for my Hailey, too. It’s a big day for everyone who is touched by her and her family. So please know, everyone, that when I write about myself, I am not trying to take away the day. 

Some of you know, some of you may not. Today is the day my brother took his life in our childhood home only an hour and 45 minutes after he texted me that he got a new phone.

I had plans. I was at my cousins house, about to head to some friends for the evening. I got the call. I texted some people. I texted Hailey. We had only been friends for maybe five months. Not even close. We didn’t hang out recreationally. I was taking photos of her pregnant belly. She cared differently than most people did. I never would have texted her otherwise. I also confided in her before anyone else that Scott was going to be a dad. 

She texted me back: “Please tell me you weren’t in the house when it happened” I said no. She offered for me to come over. The next day I did. She hugged me so tight in the entrance. I sat on her couch. Her and Brady talked to me for a few hours and then I went home. 

That is a very watered down version of what happened, but this blog isn’t about Scott’s life, or my life per say. This blog is about God, and grief, and victory. But first, I want to paint a picture. Scott struggled his whole life, but he was happy. He laughed so much as a kid.

He loved me a lot when we got to be adults.

Then he stopped loving himself. He thought other people could love him enough that he didn’t have to.

Hailey was there for all the grief. She let me cry on her couch. She gave me a safe place to be real without judgment. Over time we got so close. Then, the three of us became like a club. Playing games, eating good food, watching shows, having fires. COVID helped lots of this grow.

There is always beauty in the things that terrify and confuse us. That’s God, though. Unpredictable, and BEAUTIFUL. Scott would be a PROUD dad to a beautiful baby girl. The first year he was gone on the 14th of April, she was dedicated by her beautiful mom to the Lord. The second year he was gone, Hailey bought me an iced capp (iced capps were HUGE for Scott) during COVID and drove me to go see that little girl and her mom. It was such a beautiful day. 

This year on the 14th is a bittersweet day for me. A BIG day for Hailey and her family. 

The past few months I have watched Hailey grieve. I’ll never forget the day Brady got the call that there was a tumor. The day Hailey went to see him at the hospital and they moved him so fast that she saw him for only a few minutes between transferring him to another hospital. Those tears were so heavy, I could not hold them. 

Then, the blood clot through the heart into his lungs. The diagnosis. The uncertainty of it all. Even the fact that the surgeon thought he wouldn’t walk. MRI after MRI, calls, delays, and so much more. 

Through watching Brady fight for his life with such positivity and come home on this particular day… this very specific day.. It feels SO special and planned. It is NOT about me, it is about God’s plan. On such a significant day for all of us, all I can say is, this is AMAZING! God said he can turn anything meant for harm or evil to be for good. This day is SO good!!!! How could I ever be sad, when God gave me a whole new brother out of losing Scott.

And today, the days collide with grief and celebration. A day God knew would happen, before any of us ever could.

Thank you Hailey and Brady for being SO sensitive about this day, even with it being SUCH a big day for you. Today is the day God has made. Today we can rejoice and be glad in it. I love you both, so much!

The way we often celebrate firsts, today we celebrated lasts. It is Brady’s last day of therapies on the ward.

His physical therapy session began with a final bout of sensitivity tests, to see how much his sensation and strength have improved. Both have indeed improved, thank the Lord! We talked to his therapist about items we need to acquire still, things that are funded and things that aren’t. She made a list of information to still get us before Brady goes. And her last move was to show Brady how to get up stairs with a railing when he needs to hold both of his crutches. A very good skill to learn on his very last day. Everything else is done.

Occupational therapy was next, and it was actually quite productive. He trialled a cool motorized attachment for his chair that would make life SO much easier in a lot of ways. While he was talking to the rep about it, he was able to be honest about being a bit disappointed with the chair thats on order for him. Its a whole long story, but he’s been waiting a long time for his chair, rather than the loaner from the hospital, and he’s since learned that he would vastly prefer a different model. As it turned out, there had been a hold-up on his chair, and thanks to that, they are going to work towards reordering him a chair he truly wants. They had one that was almost perfect just freshly brought to the ward, and they signed it out to him to use until his arrives. This sounds insignificant, but its actually a pretty huge deal! It was immediately clear, upon getting into it, that it was a WAY better style for him. So the ball is rolling with that, finally.

So he rode his new loaner chair back to the ward, and I was given the motorized one to drive 😳It was hilarious and fun and I love that they trusted me enough to drive it through the hallways.

We hit up radiation in the afternoon, where I learned his new wheelchair on the spot, having to disassemble it to get it in and out of the van. I always feel pretty accomplished when I can do those things with some semblance of confidence. I walked with Brady to the front doors of the cancer centre and then let him go in alone, as the rules state. It felt really weird not to go together. We’re not people who care to do a whole lot separate. But, we can do it, if need be.

I took some of Brady’s things home today, and I think I’ll bring a suitcase for the rest of it tomorrow, just so its only one trip down to the van.

Today is bittersweet. I am desperate to have Brady home, and I know he feels so ready to get here, too. But there is some safety and security in his team here. They are beautiful people, and I will dearly miss seeing them on a daily basis. We trust them a lot, and I’m nervous to go forward without them being fully involved.

As inpatient rehab ends for Brady, home can begin again.

A local man (you know who you are ❤️) donated his efforts to gift Brady freedom to come and go out of his house as he pleases. This was a GIGANTIC gift, and we are beyond grateful!! It may look like a sidewalk to random passers-by, but it is greatly more.
A hand-built ramp will be built atop this beautiful level surface over the weekend, all on gifted time.
Extra railings are being added in the house this evening, also with labour donated to our family.

Everything is coming together. Everything is in order. We’re just missing that one key piece.

Tomorrow. Less than 24 hours now. Lord, protect us.

As you may remember, Brady’s tumour was tested upon removal, and was deemed as cancerous. It has actually been a bit of a mess as different doctors in different cities believe it to be different stages of severity. For the time being, Brady has been diagnosed with stage four cancer. We have agreed to a five week radiation plan, where he will receive twenty-five “fractions” (doses) of the treatment. Twenty five appointments. Every weekday for five weeks.

And that began today.

I was able to drive him myself, so we went together. He checked in and they gave him his schedule for the week. He immediately put it into the calendar on his phone, though we’ve been warned it can change from day to day to day.

As it was Brady’s first treatment, they permitted me to join in the tour and explanations. We were led to the “Atlantis location” where we met a handful of staff members who will be our constants through the next five weeks. They were SO friendly and reassuring, taking us behind the desk to show us that there are camera in the treatment rooms if Brady needs any kind of help or has an emergency. They also showed us the scan of the spot on his spine that they’re treating, and explained that they’ll take a picture every time, and why. We were told that, once a week, Brady would have a check-up with his radiation oncologist, and I am very welcome to attend.

I was offered a seat, and Brady was wheeled back to his first treatment. The machine glitched, so some tech guys came and overrode something. Right away, the staff started to reassure me and explained exactly what was happening so I wouldn’t have to feel uneasy. We cracked a couple of jokes and everything moved forward again. I sat and waited quietly. Its hard not to worry.

But what good does worry do?

Brady was under the laser for all of three minutes. He sounded so happy and relaxed when they went in and announced to him “Thats it, thats all!” I mentioned to the staff how much I desire this all to be quick and painless, and they agreed that they hoped for smooth sailing for us. This method of radiation tends to be very well tolerated, with less risk of further damage, as this oncologist does shorter fractions of treatment for a longer span of time.

It had been a smooth first treatment, and we are so grateful for that. As time progresses, things could change and he could find himself uncomfortable or in pain. We pray deeply against those side effects, and that God would fill Brady’s body.

He can, and He will. We pray with expectation. Do Your will, Lord. We’re here for it.

A few days ago, the evening felt like a total and complete disaster. The kids fought supper SO hard, and I went from patient and understanding to stark raving furious at them. I’d remind them to eat, they’d say “Ok mom” and then just keep talking. I swear, you’d think they were just never hungry. 

Except Dekker. Dekker ate lots, and completely accepted my answer when I said we wouldn’t have dessert. He asked for a little more salad instead, and then I let him get down from the table. Everyone else sat and picked at their plates, clearly just trying to wait out the clock. 

When the time came to tidy up toys and get the evening routine going, I freaked out a little. Laela cried, and all four kids at the table apologized. They offered up that they knew what apologies were and that they were going to turn it around. So I gave them five more minutes. But they continued to doddle, and I grew more and more frustrated. I was angry at them for not caring about what I wanted from them, and I was angry at myself for giving them more time, and I was angry that my basement was wrecked and if I let them go tidy up their mess, they’d be getting out of supper, but if I made them stay at the table, they’d get out of tidying. I was in a bind. 

So I came to peace with my decision, where I decided they would stay at the table, and the mess to clean up tomorrow would just be bigger, and that would be fine. One by one, they either finished their food, or gave up and decided to go to bed. Each kid used the bathroom and went to bed, and then I made the rounds to tuck them in, pray with them, and say goodnights. 

Except Dekker. Because he had done really well! As I headed down to tuck Solomon into bed, I found Dekker in the basement, tidying up the toys. Little toys were spread everywhere and he was carefully putting each thing in its spot, WAY more carefully than they do on a regular day. I was completely floored, and sputtered out a surprised “thank you!” He didn’t want any recognition, and kept his head down while he tidied, briefly saying “you’re welcome” and nothing more. 

Once everyone was tucked in, Dekker offered to help if I needed any other help. Being the monster I am, I actually did ask him to do another job! How awful is that?! I asked if he’d be willing to put the chairs up on the table. We do that every night so Meryl can run around and clean up the dining room really well. He agreed and got right to it, happily. I finished putting some leftovers away and then we were both done our jobs. He plunked down in a chair in the living room to read, and I plunked down across the living room from him to stare at nothing. 

But that just didn’t seem right. And I know the way to that mans heart. 

“Dekker, do you want to have some dessert with me?” 

He lit UP!! He was SO excited! I went to the kitchen and scooped him a big bowl of a really indulgent dessert. He started to shut his book and come over to the table, but I told him I trusted him to eat on the recliner. Again, he was completely thrilled. He sat in the comfy chair, and I sat on the couch just next to him, and we ate dessert together. A really good treat for a REALLY good attitude and a job well done! 

When the time came for bed, he actually noticed it before me. He wandered into the kitchen the checked the time. He informed me it was time for bed, and I asked him if he was tired. Because he definitely looked it. He assured me he wasn’t tired, but rather he was “kind of missing my bed.” And that was that! 

I tucked him in, prayed with him, and we snuggled for a few more minutes. I just couldn’t get enough of him. He was SO warm and caring and loving. And why should I be surprised? Because that is how he IS!!! 

Dekker, you ACED it! I am absolutely thrilled with the young man you are becoming! Your selflessness, your ability to read the room, and the ability to work hard are all remarkable qualities of a boy your age, and many boys much older than you, too. I am so unbelievably proud to be your mom!!! I love you!