The morning has been cute. Real cute. 

My mom came to help me again this morning. I’m sad to say I think morning help might be the order of my day for a while. Mornings are just hard. My thumbs are in bananas-level pain (yes, thats an official unit of measure) which makes just about everything a big effort. Diapers, dishes, backpacks, zippers, loading kids up and taking them to school, etc. On my list of things that hurt the most yesterday, I forgot drying my hands after I wash them. May as well just disconnect my fingers from my hands. Its pretty unreal, and I’m a little choked that I’m needing help for this long. But, as always, God knows. 

We have a teether in our house right now. 

The sweetest teether you ever did see, but poor little baby girl 💜 She’s still so pleasant, and isn’t crying or fussing or really seeming to be in any discomfort, but she’s so tired and sucky. Very cozy in my favorite jammies of hers. 

She enjoyed a little grandma-made brunch, which lifted her spirits a bit.

Brady is having messy fun at work today, lol! I’ll have to tell you all about what he’s up to soon! 

Rowan was at preschool and Solly played SO well downstairs by himself for a while. When my mom went to go pick Rowan up, I helped Solomon and Waverly tidy toys up. I wish it was simpler to put videos on the blog because the dance parties that ensued after the toys were picked up were SO fun!! Gifs will have to do!

The kids had fruit and muffins for lunch, and now mom is lovingly doing my dishes while I put this post together and rest my body. Aaaaand I’m not resting my hands at this point, so off I go! 

Sorry for the shorty, but no denying it was a cute day! One day I’ll stop talking about all of our ailments and get back to the happier stuff. I’m working on it ❤️

I did more myself today than I have in a while. I still had help getting the kids up and breakfasting, but I thought I’d share my observations from the day. 

A lot of things still hurt, but resting after I do things usually helps. However, there are a few things. 

Lifting anything precariously using just my fingers. 👎 

Wringing out a cloth. 👎 

Doing car seat belts or the high chair belt. 👎 

Wiping butts. Not even kidding. 👎 

Opening the kids water bottles to refill them. 👎 

Lifting kids 😕 Unfortunately 👎 

Opening ziploc containers 👎 

Van doors. 👎 That hurts. 

Those particular things wore my hands out pretty badly today. My wrists and my thumbs are really hurting. But 🥳 I survived! 

I survived so well that I forgot to take my medication at 2pm 🤦‍♀️ We’ll throw a positive spin on that that say it was good to see that my pain medication does its job when I take it 😆 Nice to have that affirmed, anyway. 

I imagine I’ll take a load off this evening. Its supposed to be band practice but I think I have to let my body ease up a little bit first. Mornings and evenings are hardest, so tonight, we’ll follow our routine of going to bed earlier and letting my body heal for as long as possible. 

My mom is coming to help me again tomorrow morning. 💜 I am SO thankful for my community of people. 

Dekker DECLINED medication this morning! None this afternoon either. I am SO impressed with his progress and courage! At one point yesterday, he fell and landed on his shoulder, and the scream that came from him suggested he had broken himself all over again. He ended up rallying quicker than anticipated, and he’s truly been good ever since. I think a lot has healed, and I think he’s also pretty bored with being in pain all the time. So he’s just not anymore. Lol!

A new week has begun, and reality starts tomorrow! I have hope for healing for myself as well, so I’m curious to see how Monday goes in terms of how my body holds up. There isn’t a lot left that I can’t do, but I don’t know yet how much I’ll pay in terms of pain after the fact. Just in time for Dekker to be feeling well again, now I can open bottles. Funny how that happens, hey? 

But before school starts tomorrow, I’ll say this morning went well. I almost bailed out of worship leading today and left it to Brady and Carrie, but decided rather that I’d just ask for help when needed. And it worked out. I did have to lift Waverly a couple of times, which hurts my shoulders, but after a rest through lunch, things are back to just a basic level of sore that I can work around. A handful of people spoke to me at church and asked what my needs are and how they could assist me. I responded honestly, but saying I didn’t actually know yet 🤷‍♀️ I’m not sure what my hands and wrists can and cannot handle yet, but later in the week, I’d let people know what was needed. I’m SO grateful to have such willing hands at my church, and to know it isn’t lip service, but people who actually would come if I called. 

Brady is downstairs working on some little bits and pieces in the basement. Nappers are napping, and big kids are switching between hanging with Brady and playing LEGO. Its a good, quiet afternoon. I’m excitedly anticipating the warmer weather and the sunshine! Enjoying the days makes healing come easier. 

Today was finally the day we took down Christmas. And by “Christmas,” I mean only the tree. And by “we” I mean Brady and the kids, because I’m pretty hands-off these days. 

Truly, though, Dekker did most of the work ❤️ 

Dekker is finally feeling more confident, and his pain is less! His teacher texted me on Friday after school telling me he participated in some free play in the gym, and he was “beaming.” She said he started taking breaks from his sling, which I was so happy to hear! I’ve been suggesting that but he hasn’t been particularly keen on the idea. But I’m sure being at school and wanting to run with his friends helps a lot! His teacher and I will discuss his activities on Monday, but I assume he’ll be on his way to pretty normal activity soon 🙂 Though, will that little collarbone bump be there forever? Because that sucker is NOT smooth at all. Maybe its scar tissue. But like, bone tissue? 🤔 Is that a thing? 

So our tree is packed up back in the garage for another year, but the trees above our cabinets, indoor lights, and mistletoe live on for a while still! With the basement pretty much done, I’m excited to start moving things to where they belong, and now that the tree is down and the toys have moved downstairs from the living room, its time to figure out how our living room will end up! Lots of change going on around here!

I’ve often joked that Waverly should be a therapy dog.

Today was a bit of a rough one. I’ll tell you all about it another day. Maybe tomorrow. I cried a lot today, but it was pretty cleansing and relieving. I got home from an appointment and had a bath. That felt good, too. The highlight of today was the snuggles with Waverly. 

I haven’t gotten to hold her as much recently, with my wrists and hands and all the pain I’m working with/around. She knows I can’t pick her up as often, so she doesn’t come to me as often. Today, she got sad right when it was time for Brady to pick the kids up from school. (Yes, Brady was home today! ❤️) So he brought her to me, where I was sulking in bed. It was the best. 

She lay still on me for a long, long time. Maybe a half hour. I had a few good cozy moments where I was brought back to her newbornhood. 

The day has improved, for sure. But I’m tired. Emotions are tough. I used to cry a lot more than I do now. I don’t resist it, but I don’t cry very much anymore. When I do, I feel great, and way lighter, usually. But, exhausted. And that’s today. 

Tv and leftover pizza is the order of the evening! 

Because of my super-sized pain day yesterday, I spent the bulk of the evening upstairs in bed, letting my body rest a little. It was actually really wonderful and refreshing. As I had mentioned, however, Dekker’s been on the struggle bus recently, and at one point I invited him upstairs for a snuggle. He tends to think he can’t properly snuggle and protect his shoulder at the same time, but once he gets there, he settles easily and stays for a while. I talked him out of his spot on the struggle bus, and he rallied for a cozy selfie. And SURPRISE!!!

Did anyone else catch that Dekker looks like Rowan?!?!?! 😳 I gasped, and showed him and he, too, was super surprised! He recognized right away that he looked like Rowan!! So I crazy!

As tends to happen when I hole up during the evening, Brady sends the kids up to kiss me goodnight. Its actually the nicest thing. I love it so much. The kids like to see whats up there, what I’m doing/watching, etc. Waverly is still new at the concept of coming upstairs, giving a hug, and then going back down to finish bedtime stuff, partly because she’s just a little one and doesn’t know much about routines, and partly because she very recently slept up in our room anyway.

On this particular evening, Wavy was the last to arrive for hugs. She excitedly ran over to my bedside and gave me a big hug before running off to the door. But she got sidetracked when she saw some socks on the floor. Solly stood by the bedroom door, coaxing her. “Come with Solly, Wavy!,” he called. She looked from the socks to Solly, and back to the socks. I tried to help Solly, and called Wavy to go with him. But she seemed to be stuck. Finally, she bent down and picked up all four socks, dropped them into a nearby hamper. Then she followed Solly back to the bedrooms.

And that just felt crazy to me, because my toddler knew to tidy. I don’t know, it sounds so small but it made me excited. It thrills me that my children naturally help and pitch in, in their abilities at their ages. I have to see those little victories along the way, when I’m feeling like I’m a monster mom.

My sweet little toddler knows socks don’t belong in the middle of the floor. Hopefully she remembers that as she ages.

Dekker is extra worn out at the end of the day recently, for obvious broken-bone reasons. He is struggling hard, but he’s SO clear about his feelings that its endearing.

Yesterday, as we were sitting down at the supper table, he became upset about something and started crying. When I asked what he was upset about, he shouted that he was just in a really bad mood. I went over to him and tried out something that works sometimes but sometimes makes it worse. I ever so gently teased him. 

“Dekker. Are you on the struggle bus?”

He rolled his eyes, but I saw a smirk crack before he switched back quickly to a frown. 

“Wait. Are you driving the struggle bus?”

And there it was. He laughed and said he was. I told him I, too, was on the struggle bus. Laela jumped into our conversation and said she was the passenger on the struggle bus, though Dekker was quick to correct her that buses didn’t have passengers in the front the way cars and vans did. Rowan said he sat in the middle of the struggle bus, and Solly shouted that he “sat in between dad,” whatever that means. The message sent was that we all ride the struggle bus sometimes 🤷‍♀️ 

During supper, the struggle bus broke down and there was a bit of a desperate situation there. But Bus Driver Dekker managed to repair the struggle bus, just in time for it to break down again 🙄 That is one unreliable struggle bus we operate over here. 

I thought it was all a pretty adorable exchange. 

Today, I have hopped onto the struggle bus in full force. My pain has rejected my outing yesterday, and is insisting I stay relaxed and seated as long as possible. Tomorrow’s OB appointment is cancelled. My mom’s dentist appointment for this afternoon is cancelled. Plans with friends are cancelled. Everyone is coming around me and my weak, sore, nauseated body, and I’m humbled and embarrassed and disappointed and angry and choked about it. 

I’m trying to listen. But the struggle bus bumps along pretty loudly.

🚌

Today was a blessed day. A bit disorganized, perhaps, but there were so many moving parts and they all came together ❤️ I owe a lot of people thanks for today.

The morning began with my mom, once again, coming to help me get breakfast happening. I can’t open stuff. Diaper changes hurt a lot. Backpacks, jackets, etc. Even driving hurts. Its really restricting. So my mom lovingly came and bailed me out yet again. 

She shuttled the big kids to school, and the middlest kid to preschool. She played with the kids, visited with me, and did my dishes until she went to retrieve biggest and middlest kids from school. Technically, biggest didn’t need to come home yet, but the afternoon was going to be busy and if Dekker needed to come home early, there would’ve been no one to go get him. So we got him preemptively. And by “we,” I mean my mom. 

As she returned from getting the kids, Jerilee showed up to do lunch and naps so my mom could drive me to physio. 

We drove to my appointment in the bitter cold. Guys. It is TOO COLD out there. I had a hopeful appointment where my physio reminded me that pain is information, and we can listen to it and acknowledge it and sometimes learn how to retrain it. She encouraged me to try small things, take breaks, and see how fast back I regain strength and movement. I’m to take it SUPER easy, but as if she could just read my heart, she reminded me to find some things I can do that I enjoy. It was likely could see the light was burnt out somehow. So I took her words and will work on incorporating them into my days, with more positive talk and letting people help me. 

Once we were done at physio, my mom offered me a super lovely gift. In the midst of my pain, I’ve become very self conscious about my hair. It is next to impossible to wash my hair, and more than grease, I have huge obvious flakes in the front of my hair. It’s SO gross and I’m so embarrassed. My mom offered to take me somewhere and have my hair washed and curled up, so I could feel better about myself. It was a HUGE gift. An added bonus that my hair girl had a window of time to fit me in, so I got to drop in on Carlinna’s new place and chat with her for a half hour or so. I feel SO fresh.

I got out of that appointment around 2:30 and made some quick plans to get Laela picked up from school. A lunch plan was still in order, so I definitely wouldn’t make it. Jerilee was home with the kids without enough seats to take everyone anywhere. But someone came to my rescue, picked Laela up, brought her home, along with a pail of chicken lemon rice soup (my faaaaavorite!,) cheese buns, and dessert. I’m constantly humbled by how many people are willing to help us ❤️ I’m not afraid to ask for help, but it feels like we’ve been on the receiving end of that a lot recently…

I came home to a houseful of children, supper made, Jerilee over, and a night of The Bachelor awaits! I am SO fortunate.

After ALL the talk of Dekker’s broken bones and my pain, some pictures have been left by the wayside. I’ll share a few from the weekend that won’t otherwise make it into a post. I have some that definitely will still, so I’ll hang onto those 😉 

Brady’s Christmas gift finally came in the mail!! Totally worth the wait. We LOVE The Office. 

Rowan drew a picture of a hippo (apparently) and named it Bob Hope 😳 He chose Bob because he can spell it, and we have an ornament in our house that says Hope. I don’t think he knows Bob Hope is actually a real person but I think its hilarious. Which is fitting. 

He also drew something else suspicious…. 😳

Brady and I used to try and have a coffee and/or breakfast date Saturday mornings before the kids woke up. We haven’t done it in a LONG time, and this weekend, he got up early and made turnovers. I took a picture in the dark and saw later that the drizzle looked like an IUD. Not sure why it matters, but I laughed.

Baths went down. Wavy didn’t last the whole time with everyone again but she was so stinking cute while it lasted. 

I was looking something up on an older blog and stumbled upon these pictures of little bitty Rowan. Goodness he is SO CUTE!!!

Dekker gained some confidence and strength in his arm and shoulder. Win!!!

The hats came back out!! We have a bin of hats and masks that were given to us a while back, and they didn’t come out too terribly often because they would cover our whole house! Now that the basement is toy zone, they’re spread out down there and the kids are LOVING it!

All in all, there was a lot of cute this weekend. I’ll share all about the basement and bedroom changes soon. I’m SO excited to share, but my body is crying for healing, and therefore I am doing literally nothing to help Brady 😔 This is so not how I saw things going, but one way or another, it’s going to get done. And when we’re there, or even close to there, I’ll show you around!

Happy Monday, friends! 💜

Thank you, all, for your love and care on yesterday’s post. Its been a frustratingly long road of pain. Along the road of sore muscles and restriction of movement came weight loss, night sweats, and swollen hands and feet. I’ve felt very concerned and overdone. And clearly, a handful of you carry concern for me as well ❤️ So thank you.

We were gifted a meal yesterday for supper, which was SO nice. Yesterday was actually a really difficult day for me. I sat stagnant while Brady did everything. I felt like SUCH a lazy butt. He sorted and worked on laundry. He did dishes and fed the kids. He refereed between the kids and looked after Wavy, who is adorable and also has zero awareness for staying out of the way. He brought ALL of the toys downstairs and ditched the baby gate! That has been a long time coming! FREEDOM!!!

Then, because we were overachievers, we decided yesterday would be the day to switch the bedrooms around! FINALLY! (Oh ya, spoiler alert. The basement is basically done… I should post about that someday.) 

It turned out that choice was exciting, but also a bit of a lofty goal with only one parent who could actually use their hands. Brady worked HARD, and managed to get beds all where they belonged. Clothes didn’t all move. Dressers didn’t all move. It wasn’t glamorous. But everyone slept in a different room last night with a different roommate!! I’ll show you when its all a bit more organized 🙂 

The last bed, however, was Waverly’s crib. That girl is still in a playpen. Which is fine, but we’d love to get her out of our room! This is easily the longest we’ve ever had a baby in our room, and while she is such an adorable, user-friendly little roomie, the girls gotta go 🤷‍♀️ We bought a super cute crib on Facebook Marketplace and are finally assembling it, and of course, we didn’t have all the bolts. Today, however, Brady was able to track down what we needed locally! Thank you, again, Landry. Seriously, that guy bails us out time and time again!! But hopefully before the end of the day, her crib will be fully assembled and ready for its new occupant and maaaaaybe, for the first time in 18 months, NO BABY will sleep in our room!! 

Which is nice, and also sad. I thought for sure we’d have another baby in our room by now, or a long long time ago. Weird. Aaaaanyway…

The afternoon will be spent napping, getting some details organized in the one room that does not currently contain a napper, and some lego and painting on the side. Once bedrooms are done, maybe we’ll start talking about taking down Christmas. I’ll miss the tree, but I’ll welcome the space. Our house is truly starting to come together ❤️ and for that, I am SO grateful!