There is so much still to do this year, and while we still have a whole month – MORE than a month left, I feel like I’m surely going to forget something!

We have our Christmas coffeehouse gig coming up in two weeks! That means LOTS of practices in that stretch. Plus we also lead worship this coming Sunday. And at our church for Christmas Eve, so we need to be super organized musically! 

If you’re part of the homemade gift exchange I’ve organized this year, consider this to be crunch time! If you’re mailing gifts, Those need to be out your door in the first week of December! If you’re delivering locally, that needs to happen between the 10th and 15th. And if you’d like ME to deliver for you, that will either be on the 13th or 14th. I haven’t been asked to do that by anyone yet, so if there’s a need (which is totally fine!) I’ll pick a concrete date. But guys. Thats like two weeks away!!

I have Christmas concerts to attend. 

I have events I really want to take my family to.

I have Christmas shopping to finish.

I have gifts to finish up, though I’m making good headway on that recently! Feels doable finally, like it will all get done in time. 

I have gifts to wrap, cookies to bake, and decorations to put up! 

We have a basement to finish! And its going to happen!!!

On top of all of those important things, I have to keep on living my life! That means housework, food, snuggles, homework, reading stories, playing toys, kissing wet faces, and putting into our closest people. 

I wouldn’t change it 🙂 There is still a whole month left, and the important things will get done. And in the same breath, there’s only a month left! Ack!!! 

For now, we puzzle and dance until lunch. 

Because really, what’s more important? 

Brady is home today. He and I decided to have a box of KD for lunch once the kids were down for naps. We’re trying to be intentional about our time together while also being productive with his time at home. But a coffee date in the morning is really nice, and lunch together is nice too. 

So the noodles has boiled and the butter was softened. It was all ready. I put the noodles in the strainer, then back into the pot, and carried it over to the island to mix it all up. 

I picked up the cheese packet and was momentarily annoyed that everything was ready, except I hadn’t opened the stupid cheese packet. Macaroni is best hot and fresh, so it always feels like a race to get all the parts together. So I quickly grabbed the envelop and have it a good shake. 

And guess what. The cheese packet was indeed open. It just wasn’t unfolded and popped open, so I hadn’t noticed the end had been torn off. 

Wow. 

Let. Me. Tell. You. 

That crap went EVERYWHERE!!!!!

I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. 

There was cheese powder all over the island. All over the floor on three sides of the island. All over the oranges I had peeled for us. Not a spot on the noodles, of course. That would just be silly. 🙄 And as an added bit of fun, the cheese powder was all over yours truly. It was on my  sweater, on my socks, down my shirt. It was ALL through my hair, and in my ears. SUCH a mess.

It was itchy.

Now, I have physio today, and my hair is WAY too greasy to go out in public. But my shoulder pain makes lifting my arms up to my head (washing my hair) really difficult. I knew my physiotherapist would understand my predicament so I had decided to embrace my grease. 

After this, however, I’m not sure how understand she would be if I came in covered head to toe in cheese powder. So I sucked it up and washed my hair. But not before we swept and wiped and rinsed off the oranges and stirred shredded cheese into our noodles and cleaned up the whole huge mess I had made. 

Guys. Lunch did not taste yummy. It was pretty disappointing, actually. But I REALLY enjoyed the laugh, honestly. Felt good for my body to think something was funny. I’ve been pretty pent up since Friday, and this was good for me. 

Even if the food wasn’t. 

Fridays appointment got me pretty hot under the collar, but there was one positive that came from it that I thought deserved it’s own post. 

In my chart were some results. I had recently gone to have my HCG checked for the thousandth time, and its finally down to zero. Bittersweet, but I’m relieved it did eventually go down, meaning I’m safe from having anything missed on the inside. Hormones are where they belong, which feels quite a bit more normal than they have in a solid year, honestly. So whatever imbalance I was fighting earlier may have levelled itself out. I’m hesitantly optimistic I’ll retrieve some of my quality of life back soon. Its so hard when your body is out of balance :/ 

While I was hoping to receive those results in the office that day, I did NOT expect to receive my other results! Do you guys even remember? I went for genetic testing a couple of weeks back and was told they took a month to get back. This happened once before, when I was being tested for blood clotting disorders. It was supposed to take a month but it took less than two weeks. I am SO grateful for the same miraculous scenario to have played out again. And even better than that, all appears to be normal on the inside. That was my suspicion all along, but it didn’t hurt to have it confirmed. 

Those types of results are always good and bad. Good not to have any genetic worries, but annoying to still be without answers. But how many of us actually get answers anyway? Very few, I feel. 

I guess we just wait and see now 🤷‍♀️ Its so hard to know what to do next. 

God knows what we need. 

He will never leave us or foresake us. 

I’m going to lead off with saying I have SO much respect for people who work in the medical world! Its a HARD job, and nothing can ever be perfect. NO BURN on ANYONE!!! But guys, I was SO PISSED on Friday! Hahaha! Oy! Still shaking a little.

So I don’t think I’ve shared a lot on here about it, because its been so minor, but I’ve been having some shoulder pain. It started where I felt like I had a shot, but I hadn’t. Just a dull soreness. Nothing crazy at all. It persisted for more than a few days, and I figured I had probably strained a muscle in there somehow. I had strained an abdominal muscle delivering Solomon and that caused me grief for a solid two months, so I figured I had about a two month wait on this shoulder thing. But it was no big deal.

And then it started changing. It would swell and turn red. It would hurt more or less on different days, but for no particular reason, it seemed. And in no time, the two months were behind me and my shoulder was only getting worse. My sore shoulder was consistently warmer than the other. Always inflamed. Putting my hair in a ponytail hurt. Changing my shirt hurt. Picking a mug off the shelf hurt. Anytime I had to reach at all I was in pain. Last Monday was the kicker. I woke up to my shoulder just smouldering. The whole squishy part of my shoulder (not sure what to call it! Not my back, but like, the top of my arm. That shoulder part) was hot to the touch, and it hurt just to touch!! I zapped awake when I rolled onto that side.

So that was that. I called for an appointment with my doctor. I needed some outside help. I assumed I’d end up at physio, but in case there was worry about something growing in there or fluid or something I hadn’t thought of yet, I wanted to talk to Dr. Guselle about it. Lo and behold, she was booked pretty solid. Into December. That wouldn’t do. I asked to see a first year resident, which would guarantee I’d actually see Dr. Guselle herself even if just at the end of the appointment. Nope, that was into December, too. I was pretty bummed, and said maybe I’d just go to a walk-in, then. She pushed and pushed, and I finally agreed to see a second year resident. So I wouldn’t see Dr. Guselle in the appointment, but she would review everything herself. I figured, why not. Either I see a second year resident or a doctor unrelated to her office completely. So, fine, I agreed to see a second year at the end of the week.

And wouldn’t you know it. They did not book me with a second year resident at all. They gave me an appointment with a nurse practitioner.

Now. I have a lot of nurse friends who I love and respect. But I had spoken to a nurse on the subject already. No burn, but I was ready to move up the line and see a doctor. Not a second nurse. I was mad. But I kept my cool and said to the receptionist who checked me in “I was given a doctors name when I made the phone call. I was not originally booked with a nurse.” And she bugged her eyes out at me and said “Well, it’ll be fine! Take a seat!” I felt SO disrespected, and pretty frustrated at the situation at hand.

I’m a pretty polite person, so I in no way let on that I was upset. I went into my appointment, where the nurse assured me she was “basically a doctor,” and asked me what I needed. I gave her the rundown of my pain and how it had changed and progressed for such a long time. I told her all the details – how it hurts when I raise it past a certain point. How its hot to the touch. How it swells up so much. But she didn’t touch it to feel for heat, or have me even raise it to see how far it could go. She had me stand up, and she poked around my neck a little. She then sat down in front of me and informed me that I was probably born with curvature of the spine. I was completely caught off guard. Yup, she insisted, that was it. And after ALL my life, it was finally pinching something in my shoulder. I wasn’t sold, but I was polite. I pointed out how I’ve had a baby on my hip for about eight years now, so maybe my posture was out, and affecting my muscles. Nope. She dismissed that on the spot. It was obviously from birth. That was it. That was the answer. She advised me to figure it out from there. I said “Physio?” And she seemed fine with that.

I. Was. So. Mad. What a HUGE waste of my time!!! I walked out of there fuming. I learned nothing. Gained nothing. She didn’t even consider what I was saying. Not even a little. And I’m sorry. Again. I LOVE my nurse friends, and I LOVE the nursing profession. But I had been there, done that. Shouldn’t it be disclosed to the patient in advance that they’re seeing a nurse rather than a doctor? If you’ve ever called the nurses hotline, they will say right on the spot, they’re registered nurses, not doctors, so they can’t diagnose. Its simple. I should’ve had to consent in advance.

What this woman did succeed at was making my pain so much worse. She had briefly checked my shoulder, jabbing her fingertips into places, asking if it hurt. I said it didn’t, it only really hurt when I lifted my arm. So she dug deeper until I jumped and told her she was hurting me. So now, not only do I still have the pain I get from lifting my arm, but I have a constant burn now where she dug SO deep and really really hurt me. This patchy red spot has only appeared since that appointment, and seems to be staying put. Its also swollen constantly, rather than going up and down. It hurts always. 

Unfortunately, there was clearly no resolution that day, and this post is somewhat open ended. I will be contacting my physiotherapist in the very near future in hopes that she can help me repair whatever muscle is angry or whatever is out of line. I thought things would be long healed by two months, and they’ve only worsened. I can push through pain and stretch and exercise, but I don’t want to mess anything up. I need to know what’s happening in there, and I know, in this case, my physio will provide WAY more information than I received on Friday’s appointment.

Guys. Yesterday was such a gong show. I could make it into three blog posts at least. The day of promised productivity fell flat, where I didn’t get a shred of my list done. And not in that standard mom “there aren’t enough minutes in a day” way, but in a pretty overwhelming, needing to have a cry kind of way. The morning was a bust, and an afternoon of hope was a total waste of time. So I ranted again, and Brady sent me upstairs to our room to hide out and get some work done. 

Aaaaand then Waverly shook things up. 

Picture this scene with me. If you have kids, you may have seen it before. Brady was hanging laundry in a closet, and Wavy wanted to be picked up. She was sitting on the carpet, fussing. In frustration, she whipped herself back, and she hit her head, as you would expect. She started to cry, and Brady picked her up. He hugged her, but she started to push him away, hard. She started to shake and vibrate, and her cry turned into a scream. As it seemed she was about to relax and take a breath, her head tipped back, and her eyes rolled back in her head. 

Brady caught her head and called her name, trying to keep her awake. When she came to, she didn’t cry, and was almost falling asleep. He ran upstairs to where I was on the phone and said he needed backup. Waverly had no colour in her face. Her lips were dull. She was slow blinking, dozing off. He told me she had hit her head and seemed to have passed out. His explanation was short and to the point, but it felt like an eternity as I saw her keep dozing off on his shoulder. Isn’t that like the number one rule, that they shouldn’t sleep right after a head bonk?? I rubbed her back and bugged her enough that she finally started crying again and woke up a little. Brady walked down with her and I ran out to my van to get our health cards. Health Line was already ringing on the other end of my phone. I had already texted one of my her nurse friends. I was ON it. This was NOT ok. 

There didn’t seem to be a cut and dry answer, but there was definitely a lean towards going in. Had she badly injured herself? Had she had a seizure? We didn’t know. I called my mom and told her what had happened, and she ran right over. Brady and I were waiting in the entrance, and took off as soon as we could. I was nervous to go alone and try and navigate the new hospital on my own, and it turns out that was a good thing. 

I should say, the new hospital is lovely, from what I’ve seen. But dropping off at emerg was confusing. Where does someone park to just drop off?? Does anyone know? We couldn’t figure it out, so we backpedalled and parked in the oversized vehicle lot (a bonus of driving our bus!) and walked there. There were definite moments of thinking “hopefully no one hits us with their car, because we’re definitely on a roadway” but we just went as fast as we could.

Once inside, someone confirmed we were there for Waverly, and we were directed over to a separate children’s registration. That was a nice touch. It was quiet over there, and everyone was very nice. They asked her name and birthday, and when I went to get her health card from my wallet, they assured me it was fine, and she was in the system. Just from her birth! Cool, hey? I liked that, too. We were through that initial stage pretty quickly and were brought to a room within a couple of minutes. 

The rooms were nice. Big. Glass door so it didn’t feel dungeony. Cute animal paintings on the wall. A few too many shiny tools at eye level, so we couldn’t put Wavy down really, but she was nervous and tired and uncomfortable anyway, so we held her the whole time anyway. People came through a few different times, wanting retellings of the story. They asked a lot of questions, and it seemed like everyone was taking our concern very seriously. I appreciated that so much, because I’ve had enough kids and enough head bonks to know everyone is usually fine. But I’ve never had a kid react the way she did. Never ever. It wasn’t standard. And they agreed. It seemed clear that the nurses were leaning heavily towards seizures. 

Except that Waverly’s neuro exam was perfect. She had started to perk up, and she was chatting and dancing and waving and showing off. She wasn’t thrilled about being poked and prodded at all, and cried through her ear check, heartbeat check, and temperature. But she was a rockstar on every level. 

The nurse who was with us for basically the final decision making process wasn’t confident, so she went and consulted a doctor working emerg that night, and she came and spoke to us about what we’re going to call Wavy’s final diagnosis. 

We believe that Waverly had a pallid breath holding spell. More often a breath holding spell a reaction to anger, but sometimes, in response to pain, a young child’s body will forget to breathe. The body then passes out, like a safety feature, to force the child to breathe again. Its not an intentional temper tantrum thing. The child isn’t in control. It just happens in some kids. And apparently, Wavy is one of those kids. So when she was crying and upset already, and then she hurt herself good and proper, she got SO upset and cried hard enough that she quit breathing. And thankfully, she fainted, and when she went out, she was able to breathe again. 

I’ll throw in a tidbit from aboutkidshealth.ca because they explain it a bit more professionally, but its just bang on. (Whoops. Bad wording. Too soon.) It says: 

“Pallid breath-holding, which is less common (than cyanotic,) is triggered after a child experiences pain, for example, after falling or hitting their head. This can lead to changes to the child’s nervous system, which cause as the symptoms such as forced breathing or jerky movements.” 

The website also lists common steps in a breath holding spell. They go like this:

1. A brief, shrill cry. 
2. Forced breathing out, followed by stopped breathing.
3. Blue, purple, or pale skin. 
4. Fainting or loss of consciousness.
5. Jerky movements (short, “seizure-like” movements) only in extreme cases.

Straight up. It SUCKED. It was completely terrifying. We were reassured over and over that breath holding spells are not actually harmful, assuming she wouldn’t faint into something hard or fall off of something, but in general, the breath being held won’t hurt her. But everything we’ve read also acknowledges that its very frightening for parents. And that is not wrong. I don’t remember the last time I was so scared. 

We made it home around 9:00pm. The house was quiet, and my mom was contentedly in the living room, waiting. We told her all about it, and Wavy hacked into the toys and played with grandma. We were so thankful she had stayed awake for the drive home and we were able to see her settle back into her home and really be herself again. 

But I was even more thankful that she woke up this morning. I knew she would, but there is just something about that morning after a good solid head bonk where you really thank the Lord a little extra. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to her, or to any of our children. 

That was a really, really scary evening. I don’t wish these things on anyone. That being said, I knew nothing of breath holding spells, so maybe someone else can learn something from our experience

Waverly had some adorable moments of rallying this morning 🙂 She was SUCH a peach.

Brady is home today, and we took the opportunity to have a little coffee date before he went down to the basement to get our laundry machines hooked back up. Wavy really wanted in on the coffee action. 

Wavy fluctuated between playing and crying the entire time. She would play and read and dance and tease us madly, and then suddenly, she’d drop her toy, back away slowly, and plunk down ten feet away for a big ole temper tantrum 😂 And once she had a good cry, she’d look up at us and giggle a little, as if it was all a game. A game that only she enjoyed. But even she didn’t enjoy it that much. It was a very confusing game for everyone. 

While she was in one of her stretches of inconsolable crying, Rowan emerged from his room where he had been playing. He called to her, and she stopped crying. He invited her to come play with him and Solly. She didn’t move. He looked around for a second, and then ran and grabbed her blanket off the floor nearby. He waved it at her, and she giggled madly and ran after him. It was short lived, but I loved that moment so much. He heard his sister crying and decided on his own to try his hand at comforting her. It was awesome. Rowan is an excellent friend. 

We were all able to work with Waverly for a while, comforting her in between her games, but finally she wasn’t laughing or crying anymore, and it just came to this. 

It was very clearly time for bed. She didn’t fight it. 

Now that the littlest Miss is in bed, the day holds laundry, knitting, coffee, mdf, naps, food, music, forts, and an afternoon appointment. 

Have a lovely Friday, friends! ❤️

Poor Wavy. Poor poor Wavy. Our littlest monkey hasn’t been feeling 100% for a while now. It started almost two weeks ago with shots. No big crazy reaction, but general fatigue and a little fevering. She’s just been snuggly and not as hungry. Nothing we can’t handle. She’s still been sleeping through the night and eating and drinking enough. She still LOVES a good homemade granola bar. Those trump all. 

She’s just maybe been a bit less personable. And if you’ve seen her in the last two weeks, you know she’s still pretty sweet and goofy, despite her not feeling great. 

Two days ago, she started to rally a little. She would dance a little bit to the songs she liked and played peekaboo. She talked SO MUCH that day! Guys, she says SO much SO clearly! She was so fun that day! 

Aaaaand then yesterday, we got this. 

If those aren’t teething cheeks, I don’t know what are 🤷‍♀️ That nose too. Rashy. Teething. No denying. 

Except that Waverly already has sixteen teeth. What’s left? Two year molars. Already??? She’s 16 months. I’m all for early, easy teething, but this feels REALLY early! If that is indeed what this is, I really hope those molars come in fast, and don’t just tease her for the next six months. 

Today has been a rough one. After a lovely night of sleep for Wavy from 6:30pm to 8:30am, she woke up ready for bed 😩 The poor little Miss was a bundle of emotions. She barely ate anything, didn’t want to drink anything, and once I let her down from the table, she cried pretty consistently. I had to take Rowan to preschool today, so I loaded all three kids up to take him. That was a welcome distraction but she was still a total mess. She cried for maybe the next hour or so. Solly helped her out of her funk at one point with some little reindeer antlers he found…

but it was short lived. 

Thank goodness, Cher offered to come stay at the house while I picked Rowan up, so I could put Waverly down for her nap early. When I asked Wavy if she wanted a nap, she giggled and headed up the stairs. When I scooped her up, she lay across my shoulder and didn’t make a peep. Not a single sound. She was ready. 

Poor Wavy. Poor poor Wavy. Feel better, sweetheart ❤️

This morning started FAST! I suppose thats what happens when the phone dies, effectively turning off the alarm, and you don’t wake up at the right time…

I lulled awake to Brady leaving the room swiftly. He was going in to work a little later today and had offered to get the kids up for school. So I had not a care in the world when I heard him leave. But within seconds, he motored back upstairs and came over to my side.

“Hailey. Its ten after eight.” 8:10am. Our kids leave at 8:20.

Soooooooo

I jumped right up and started stumbling into clothes. My first thought was “Give them each a granola bar. Make it exciting, not a bad thing.” He agreed and ran back down the stairs.

It took me a minute to find underwear and get into leggings, and of course Waverly woke up with the commotion, but I got down to the kitchen as fast as I could. It was pretty busy down there, but everyone was happy. Dekker and Laela had just gotten dressed, and I scooped them into the bathroom to brush their hair. Then I hustled them into the kitchen. There were two granola bars out, and I literally just grabbed their water bottles to go with their “breakfast.” They laughed and began wolfing down their food. Brady was at the island, making lunches. Of course no bread was defrosted for sandwiches, so crackers and cheese would have to do! Honestly, they’ll be psyched when they find that for their lunch 🙂 Once they were packed, I grabbed their backpacks and Brady loaded their lunches in. Dekker ran to brush his teeth, and Laela was just moments behind. Howeverrrrrr 😬 we were just a little late, and I decided to let Laela go to school without brushing her teeth. Just today! They always brush their teeth! But this time, something just needed to be bypassed. So she giggled and ran off to get bundled up, with chocolate still on her teeth. #ilovemydaughter #isupportdentalhygiene #icanonlydosomuch #cantbelate

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dekker and Laela get ready for school so fast, but they LOVED it. It was probably the most fun they’ve had getting ready and out the door. Maybe we should sleep in more often…

Its basically Monday today, but in a good way. The big kids were super happy to get off to school today. I didn’t have to nag anyone in the morning. They had all slept well and were eager to get the day moving. They bundled up at warp speed and basically scratched at the door until everyone had given hugs and we released them into the wild. It was cute. They were ready. Rowan was the same way about a half hour later. No qualms with going to school. So ready.

Before school ❤️

I, on the other hand, am dragging hard. I slept well – uninterrupted, deep. But I’m absolutely beat. I couldn’t tell you why, but I could fall asleep right now. Coffee helps. Also, responsibilities. I have to do some dishes this morning still. I have to go get Rowan from preschool.

I have kids to play with and read to. 😍 I have an appointment to call about today. I actually have a couple of things to book but one at a time will have to do. Did I tell you guys I got a referral to a OBGYN and I have pretty cold feet about who I received? Ugh. Not sure what to do about all that yet, but today isn’t the day to figure it out.

Waverly has been under the weather for a good few days, but today I can tell she’s starting to feel better. She’s still clingy and easily wounded, but she’s back to dancing this morning! I haven’t seen her dance in days, and she loves to dance! She’s had a few little moments this morning where she’s put her arms up and twirled, so I know she’s starting to feel some improvement. She also slept 14 hours straight last night, which likely helped a lot. I could go for a 14 hour sleep.

It feels like the beginning of a week today. Like a Monday. But that just means the weekend will come sooner, and thats good news ☺️

Did everyone else notice the full moon vibes today? Our house struggled today. Maybe it was just an off day. Maybe it was coming back from the challenging day that yesterday turned out to be. But sometimes, when everyone is going a little haywire, I look up the moon cycles, and this time, I was right. Full moon! 🌕

Dekker cried a lot today. Thats not his usual. He was extra confusing, wanting certain things but crying and getting upset when he’d get what he wanted. Or being sad about something, and not letting us try and solve it. It was odd. Wavy was off, too. Still pretty pleasant but exhausted and a bit less personable than usual. She didn’t eat much. Rowan did pretty well, and napped well. Solly and Laela were in pretty good shape. But extra snuggly.

It wasn’t a bad day. Had coffee with a friend. Worked on some Christmas gifts. Listened to lots of Christmas music. Brady put together song sheets for our coffeehouse gig coming up, and worked some more in the basement. I can’t believe its actually happening, slowly but surely. We’ll be done before we know it! Maybe in a month, roughly. Eek!

Tomorrow has nothing on the books. Kids go back to school. Ro goes back to preschool. Brady goes back to work. I’ll stay here. We’ll see what I end up being busy with, but so far, its pretty open and I’m looking forward to it!

Before the day ends, we have band practice. I’m also looking forward to that! Does anyone think they might come to the coffeehouse in early December? Its on the 5th, and we really hope to see lots of our friends there! Still needing a babysitter for the three younger kids, but I want as many people as we know who want to come to COME!! Its going to be such a fun one!

I’m ready for these kids to get back to school and for us to get back into our regular groove. Our groove where I can do Christmas things during nap time and no one is there to spy…