Its my mom’s birthday today! Hopefully I’m right about being allowed to share the number, lol! She doesn’t seem choked at all to be hitting the big 6-0. Rather, she’s excited to celebrate! We’ll do that later today 🙂
This year has been a big one, for lots of reasons. There was a spell in March/April where mom got really, really hurt. We couldn’t piece all the reasons why together, but basically overnight, she found herself in a whole new world of physical pain. Nothing was cutting it. As God tends to plan things out (perfectly,) Brady wasn’t working much those days, and I was able to be available to mom. We made some runs to some appointments, got some meds, back for other appointments for different meds, and on and on until we got her pain somewhat under control. Even with that, it was a really difficult time. Mom was nauseous and dizzy and unable to get around at all on her own. It was SUCH a vulnerable time, which is obviously why I didn’t broadcast it on here. Blogging was tricky for those weeks, but was a very small thing in the bigger picture.
Eventually, Brady did go back to work, and mom had to ask for more help from other people. It was hard, because she and I are so similar, and we had a really smooth system going. I knew exactly what she needed and when. I sat at home and worried about how she was being cared for. I had never felt SO torn. Never so unsure of where I belonged. I worried if her people would come on time. I worried if they would walk with her when she needed to do something on her own. I worried if she would ask for what she needed. Would they help her get her meds, prepare her lunch, or encourage her to lie down? I had never felt so unsure of my role.
But, guys, her community SHOWED UP!!! Our church set up a meal train, and brought her stacks of easy “heat and serve” meals. Activity books, pens, and cards poured in. There was just nothing but love for her. I was in her kitchen at one point when someone dropped by with food. Mom insisted on getting up and greeting her guests, but she shouldn’t have. As they visited, I watched mom start to sway, and her eyes were closing. She was fading. Before I had the opportunity to “save” her, her guest suggested she go lay down. And then, best ever, she walked her to her room, got mom into bed, and then sat herself down on a chair, put her feet up, and the visit continued there. The fear of speaking up for what you want is that it’ll make your guest feel unwelcome or awkward, and her friends proved time and time again that they were up for whatever she needed. Sometimes, mom would nap, and her company would lay out on the couch and catch some Z’s too. Or they would tidy up. Or they would field my messages. It did my heart SO good to know she had a community of people behind her when I couldn’t be there, who were happy to be there. Praise the Lord for friends and a supportive church family who SHOW UP!
SO MANY MEALS!!
In time, with LOTS of physio, stretches, diligent med taking, and eventually weening off, mom came around <3 In time, the need for company dwindled, as mom could drive herself places, go for walks on her own, and make her own food. She even went crocus hunting a couple of times! Her energy, memory, and stability slowly returned. And as she would say, she couldn’t have done it without the help and love of her people, and first and foremost, the grace of God. (Mom, I feel like YOU should be writing this post, haha!)
We reminisce about those weeks sometimes. They were HARD. It was a really painful, stressful, emotional, overwhelming time. She still tears up when she talks about all the help she needed and received.
I write this post as a positive memory for her!
Mom, you are so dearly loved, by me and SO many others! ❤️ Caring for you was never an inconvenience. YOU are never an inconvenience. Our church, town, and community is richer with you in it. So many lives are richer with you in them! But speaking for just me – I treasured our days together. I ached for you, and I hated seeing you in pain, but I loved caring for you. We are so alike, and we learned to work together really well over that time. Ou relationship really changed. We got SO much closer. The way you feel so grateful for that time is the way my heart feels, also. In a different way, I suppose, but not all too different.
I hope you feel truly loved today, mom. I am so grateful for you. I’m not sure how to put it into words, but I hope you hear my heart. Its so similar to yours 😘 I love you.
I LOVE campfire food, but believe it or not, Brady and I have never had a fire pit in our entire adult/married life! We have the pit we will use when we can finally have a real yard, but won’t be installing it until that time which will hopefully come next year! 🤞
I’ve been hungry for pie irons for literal years, but never pressed to make them happen. Definitely not a big deal. But when my mom called me and asked me to join her for some pie iron “leftovers” last night, I was all in!
She had company the day before, and they had made these super fancy pants high maintenance pie irons. I say this will nothing but love, because I went over there expecting pie irons made out of your basic pizza stuff and maybe one with pie filling for dessert. But no. This was SO much bougier. SO much better!
We made our pies out of brie, apples, chicken, bacon, and a fig spread. They. Were. Ridiculous. I felt like the fanciest campfire cook ever. We sat outside in the chillier than average weather, and just enjoyed the fire, and each other’s company.
Time moved quickly, and suddenly, it was 10:00, so I went home. I was met by my husband, playing some games on his phone for his much deserved rest time. He had done the whole evening with the kids on his own, and then had installed a bunch of the outlets in the basement! That man doesn’t stop.
My clothes still smell like campfire this morning, and I’m not mad about it. Not at all.
Yesterday’s post was a bit of a grab bag, and today could easily be the same, but there are two specific events I’ll focus on.
Miss Waverly Violet. *sigh* I love her. And she’s almost done being a baby. Formula is all gone, the brezza is all gone, and I think bottles are almost out. People have all kinds of opinions about how long bottles should be in the picture, and you can kindly keep any negative opinions to yourselves 😉 We haven’t pushed Wavy to be done with bottles, but last night she very simply fed herself her milk bottle and was so ready for bed. I can just tell she’s almost done with it. She doesn’t need it anymore. Once she’s been sleeping through the night consistently a little longer, I think we’ll be done with her bottles for good.
Today, for one reason or another, my tiniest Miss was SO tired SO early. I wanted to stretch her at least a little bit longer so she could have some lunch and nap at the normal time, but nothing would really suffice. I hauled her onto my chair, where she wiggled and didn’t settle, until I put a cozy blanket over both of us. She lay on her side, popped those three little fingers into her mouth, and slow blinked for maybe twenty minutes. She never fell asleep, and I admit I was disappointed when her siblings came around and she popped back up, full of energy for them, but our snuggle was SUCH a special snuggle.
Those snuggles are fewer and further in between these days, as she tries to walk, says words, and grows and changes into toddlerhood. I’m not ready for you not to be a baby, Waverly.
So many little things to write about and none of them really go together! So, be ready for a bit of a hodge podge post!
A couple of days ago, Rowan decided it was time he rode a two wheeler. He asked if we could remove the training wheels off of Laela’s old teeny tiny princess bike. Brady did, and Ro proceeded to take his first wobbly bike ride up our street. He was SO proud of himself. By literally the next day only, he was able to start and stop on his own. He. Is. Amazing!
Its possible he wiped out hard after this picture was taken, but was immediately relieved to learn there was photographic evidence of him “biking with one hand.” Lol!
Another milestone alert is for Waverly! Part of our rush for getting the basement done is that our little girl is still sleeping in our room, and we’re ready for that to change. She lulls constantly, any time we move around, get up to pee, or get to bed later. But she’s WAY less invested in her milk. So much so that we’ve stopped giving it to her. She LOVES food way more, and drinks almost enough at her meals. We’re suddenly at the point where she has a bottle before bed, though I don’t think that’ll last much longer at all, and thats IT for bottles. Formula is over and done with, Brezza is washed and packed away, and her baby stage is coming to a close before my eyes. Its crazy. But Waverly has begun sleeping through the night, and will very soon be in her own space for night. I’m both happy and sad. I’m happy we’ll all sleep better, but I’ll miss her. She was the peachiest little overnight guest.
She ate two perogies, a big chunk of sausage, and a good scoop of roasted broccoli! Yum!
Unrelated to milestones. Cher came over today and asked to take the big kids to the park during quiet time. There was a big loose dog nearby, unbeknownst to them, and she managed to get them all up on top of a structure and distract them for a while until the owner showed up and retrieved his dog. WIN! I appreciated the break so much, and the kids were SO happy. Thank you for that, my friend <3
One GORGEOUS crew, if you ask me!
I’m onto a new crafty project! Thank you to those who shared their input on Instagram today about my weird scarf pattern. While the majority of you said the project was fine, it was not a shut out. And I was on team “this is ugly,” so a decision was made. I pulled it out. But I’m much more excited about what I’ve started, so, win for me!!
No picture of that, because, spoilers.
Basement work continues! Its a MESS down there, but once the bathroom is installed, the big boxes can be flattened and put away, and there will be a bit more room to move around. We still have a ways to go, but we just need the space to be usable. That being said, we can’t foot every bill for every think we need to finish it just yet. If anyone has a big, cushy Costco-esque carpet kicking around that they’re done with for the moment, please let us know. The flooring part of the basement is going to be a doozy, and if we can makeshift it for a bit, I think thats the route we’d take. Sooooo throw me a message if you can help out in this way! There will be pictures to come soon enough 🙂 But nothing looks too different today than it did yesterday!
Whew! I think thats it for the moment! I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but conveniently, I’m here every day 🙂 See you tomorrow!
Brady was super eager to get tiling this morning. Conveniently, a friend had invited the kids and I over for a playdate a while back, and that day was today! I had to wake Wavy from a dead sleep, though.
She’s basically a teenager.
They live pretty close, so the kids and I walked over around 10:00am. Brady headed right down into that basement to get his hands dirty.
Before I was even in the door at our friends house, at least half of my kids were in the thick of play. I helped Solly get his shoes off and Laela came to get him and bring him to the fun. Meanwhile, the moms and the Waverly hung out in the kitchen. She made scones with fresh peaches, and we sipped iced coffee and tried to chat in between the many interruptions that comes with having seven kids in the same space. It was truly lovely, though, to catch up with someone who was comfortable with the busyness of kids and life. We just picked the conversation back up!
After a while, we moved outside so the kids had more room to run. Wavy had mixed emotions, haha!
It was a really, really nice morning <3 Just a couple of hours of changed scenery is good for everyone. We closed off our date with a quick lap around the pond, and then they walked us home.
We arrived home to some excellent progress in the basement! A chunk of the bathroom was tiled, and a couple of new lights installed! My laundry area finally has a light, and there’s one in the little area just outside of the two bedrooms and bathroom. Its all looking more and more home-like down there!
Some lunch was had, and the littles are down for a nap. I’m working on a new knitting project that I can’t decide if I hate or not… Hmmm… I guess I’ll keep going and see if it grows on me. Wish me luck!
The shopping fun continues!! The spending part does not feel as fun, but progress feels good, so we’re going with it. Finally we just NEED to make some progress. And it happening!!!
So yesterday, we bought ourselves a vanity and toilet. We anticipated spending some time assembling the vanity, but of course, it came out in one piece, lol! It’ll need some little tweaks to help it be perfect, but it looks great. The toilet has to wait for flooring, so that’s on hold. In fact, in a lot of ways, even after dropping the money on those bigger items, we were at a standstill.
We found out this morning that our doors were in! There had been this whole other debacle based around finishing materials. See, we had this amazing materials contact who worked pretty tirelessly to get us what we wanted when we built our house, always giving us at least a contractors discount. Brady developed a real friendship with him, and he’s taken to our whole family by default. He was always SO good to us. There were times I’d have to go see him with a couple of kids, or with my mom, without Brady, and he was always SO polite and helpful. He never talked down to me, always had lots of info, and always had some kind of treat to offer the kids. But he left his job shortly after we moved here, which was a real bummer. We began doing our basement project without him, but came to a stop when the guy who replaced him couldn’t get us wouldn’t actually look for the doors we wanted. Brady texted our original contact/friend and, lo and behold, he had really disliked his previous job and had moved to Co-op! He happily and easily found us our doors, hardware, etc. Somehow, him being back on our side made this whole project feel doable again.
So today, we went in to see him and grab our doors! Our handles weren’t in yet, but he knew we were eager to get things moving. He wasn’t in his office when we arrived, but he fairly easily picked us out of the storefront. We chatted and caught up a bit before getting down to it. He helped us find a few things we were unsure about, and then got us set up with our custom doors, trim, jambs, etc. Everything we needed. It felt really good to have a familiar face behind the contractors counter again!
But that wasn’t our only stop. Not at all. Now that we had our doors and trim, we headed to Home Depot for more paint, as well as a few small parts that we couldn’t get at Co-op. We also grabbed some tile for the basement bathroom and laundry area, since the flooring guy we were in contact with wasn’t getting back to us in good time. ** Tip time! Buy your grout and mortar in bags. The boxes and pails are tidier but you will get WAY more for CHEAPER if you buy the bag. We literally got about 11L of mortar for a dollar less than 3L in a box. Tip time over. **
Lastly, we hit Fandango for lights. Because we went through them with our original build, they basically offered us a loyalty and gave us light fixtures for the same price we got them for years ago! So they were actually comparably priced to basic lights out of Home Depot, but with warranty. Also grabbed a bathroom track light. I really dislike track lighting, but it works, and it isn’t super ugly. I’m not picky about the lights, clearly.
The kids were SO good! They loved shopping and choosing and getting excited. When Brady got the lighting on his own, they happily ate the snacks I had packed rather than hitting McDonalds for lunch. They really impressed me with their patience. Wavy only really fussed towards the end of Home Depot. Crackers made it better later.
We brought home SO MUCH STUFF.
Brady had the forethought to remove half of our backseat, which was really important! We could’ve never got everything home without that!
Now, as you’d imagine, our basement is a total mess…
But we feel SO excited!!! We have things we can really do now! We have almost everything we need to finish at least a bedroom and the bathroom. We’re waiting on door handles. We have to get carpet for the bedroom. We need to close up the ceiling at some point. But its coming 🙂
So if you’re looking for us this week, we’ll be downstairs!
I don’t even remember what I’ve told you guys about the work currently going on at our house, but the basement project continues. We’ve picked up a bit of speed, and have gone in a bit of a different direction.
The original plan makes the most sense, really. Do ALL the drywall. Then ALL the finishing. Then ALL the painting. And so on. Because why would one finish one room but not the other? Because they’re running out of room upstairs, thats why. So we’ve jumped ship from that plan and are focusing solely on ONE bedroom and the bathroom. Now that all the drywall is installed, taped, and ready, we won’t lose any money by doing things room by room. It’ll be more of a hassle, getting smaller batches of materials, going room by room. But its going to get us a complete bedroom and bathroom a lot quicker. That being said, we’ve gotten enough paint for the entire basement, because why not?
Doors and handles for the one bedroom and bathroom have been ordered, and we’re waiting on that. In the meantime, we’ve been doing some research on bathroom vanities and toilets and all that good stuff. We ran into the city Saturday night to go scout out a few places with the kids. We had a couple in mind, but figured we’d keep open minds.
Aaaaand it was SO disappointing! We went to Home Depot and found one or two that were ok and fit what we wanted, but we had one we had seen online at Lowes that we liked so much more. We thought we could get a toilet there that matched the ones we had upstairs, but of course they’re about twice the cost we wanted to pay, and we’d have to order them anyway. So we left Home Depot with nothing, except for a bit more paint. We checked Co-op, but there wasn’t much to see there. The kids looked inside display toilets. That was about it. Lowes was the final place to hit, and in the past, they’ve really surprised us by having exactly what we’re looking for in terms of bathroom stuff. We walked through the bathroom demo section over and over and could not locate the vanity we had in mind. We finally flagged down an employee and said there were two in stock, but no demo. I immediately asked what their return policy was and he said something along the lines of “Well, you can open the box but thats about it…” After looking through the demos once more to see if anything was even close and determining there wasn’t, we left empty handed. I was SO annoyed!! Why is a white vanity, between 36″-40″ that isn’t ugly or brutally expensive so hard to find?!?!
We went home and I got my research on. I. Looked. Everywhere. Scoured all the websites. Considered shipping from Ikea. We even priced out Brady building it. We came to terms with the fact that we don’t need anything fancy or special AT ALL. Our current vanities are super plain, and thats all we need. Simple. Thats all! So we poked around everywhere, weighed dollars and looks and reviews and made our choice. We also gave up on getting a toilet that matched our upstairs ones. I know our house doesn’t have to match floor to floor, but I really like our toilets. Its such a silly thing, but I do! Yet I do not want to pay that much for a toilet. So we decided to let that go. Reminding ourselves that we want quality, but simplicity, was a good thing. We were more prepared for today because of that.
We hit Home Depot and grabbed a flat bed cart and headed to the back of the store. I know the aisle number, so it was an easy find. It was really pretty, actually. I’m really happy with our choice. We limped it onto the cart while the kids tried madly to hold the cart in place 😉 It was cute. From there, we went to the toilets and picked a nice, plain, basic toilet that was on sale. Was fine. Grabbed an extra wax seal in case we mess up the installation on our first try. Then to the faucets, where we planned to get a particular faucet that also was on sale, but was a nice brand and just what we needed. Unfortunately, it was sold out. But!! You guys should know this! I asked an employee if they had any more in stock anywhere, and he came over and asked which one. I showed him the empty spot on the shelf and he confirmed they were sold out, but he asked us our second choice. We pointed to one about $30 more expensive, and he gave it to us for the price of the one on sale!! Woot! Definitely glad I asked! Thank you, random Home Depot guy!
We wandered into the lighting section to see if they had any fixtures comparable to what we have in our house, and were stopped by a sweet older man. His face was lit up with a big smile. He gestured towards the kids and said “Wow! Look at all of your helpers!” And he wasn’t being sarcastic or backhanded or anything. He and his wife stopped to chat for just a minute, and had nothing but lovely things to say about children. We thanked them honestly, saying not all comments are always very nice, and that what he had said felt really genuine. A definitely step up from some we’ve heard before.
We loaded everything and everyone into the van and made it home in time for lunch! Was a totally successful morning at Home Depot. SO much better than our previous attempt on the weekend.
Now to just get the rest of the things in hand so we can legitimately start putting that bathroom together! Flooring needs to happen first. And we forgot the pee trap. And the toilet flange. And I’m not sure if we have a shower head or not… But we’re getting there!
Guest Post! Just a shorty as Hailey is enjoying an evening by the fire with her Mom. Enjoy the evening ladies!
So I’ve really enjoyed camp fires ever since I was 9 or 10. I remember just sitting in my lawn chair watching the fire for hours when my family would go camping. And then when I had to go to bed way before the rest of my family, I’d open the tiny little window by my loft bed in the camper and watch the fire from a distance with my face pressed up against the screen, trying to get every whiff of camp fire that I could. I was enthralled.
I think when I was 11 or 12 my Dad taught me how to light a fire and put me in charge of making backyard fires for the family that summer. I convinced my family to have a fire probably 2 or 3 times a week! We ate lot of s’mores that year. 😂 I couldn’t get enough. I even remember sometimes having a hard time getting the fire lit because the wood was too wet or it was too windy. And of course, I was 12, so I didn’t know much. 🤦 But that didn’t discourage me. I’ve learnt better how to get them started and keep them going. I’m not a pro but I still love it.
One of my favourite things about them though is the smell. How it gets everywhere, and it stays. Yum! Your eyes sting a little from getting just a bit of smoke in the face. Clothes can smell like it for days! So relaxing.
All this being said, we spent a lovely day with Hailey’s Mom at her place today and capped it off with a fire and hotdogs and s’mores. The best!
Thanks for a lovely day Mom! Enjoy my wife and the fire! ❤️
Yesterday was kind of an awesome day. A power flicker made our fan beep, and woke us up shortly after 7:00am. That’s pretty early in our house, so Brady quietly went and made coffee for us to drink in bed before the kids got up. There was thunder and lightening, which I really love, but it cleared up in good time. While the kids ate breakfast, I posted Cher’s beautiful blog post to The Daily Hailey, reminiscing about Waverly’s birth and all it meant to her. It was so good to go back through those pictures and relive it. Once it was posted, I got myself ready enough to be allowed out in public, and off we went for a day of errands!
Walmart was first, and somewhat successful. Kinda, kinda not. We didn’t need much. What we did need was sandals for Rowan. Both of his flip flops had the straps pop through the bottom on the same day, and has been mournfully wearing shoes ever since. So that was the top of the list, and of course, they were what we didn’t find at Walmart :/ But Old Navy saved the day, not only with some cool dude sandals that fit and he loves, but a surprise sale! I love going to the till with a price in mind and paying half the cost!
Lunch was next. We stopped at McDonalds and parked in the spot where you order on the app and they’ll carry your food out to you. We’re usually pretty aware of our surroundings, but this time, we didn’t see the employee coming. Her hands were too full to knock and our music was going. I felt SO bad when I noticed her in Brady’s side mirror, but she was just laughing. Thank you, lovely McDonalds employee, for not being such a good sport! And for the monstrous bag of food. I salute you!
Costco was last, because most everything we buy there needs to go straight home and into the fridge or freezer. Especially on a day that feels like 40C!!! We’ve been doing fewer grocery shops this summer, trying to spread things out a little, so they’re much bigger shops. Solly also doesn’t prefer to ride in the little cart seat anymore, so we have four walkers and a VERY full cart, usually. Its a new dynamic, lol! Today was exactly that way, except our cart was overfull with only the bakery and veggie section. We had six loaves of bread, two of hot dog buns, and two of burger buns. We had four bundles of bananas, two bags of apples, two things of grape tomatoes, a three pack of cucumbers (needed another pack, shoot!), and two bags of bell peppers. Maybe that was it for veggies and fruit? Regardless, it was clear we were in pretty desperate need of a second cart, which is NOT a common thing for us AT ALL. But maybe its going to have to be… I grabbed Brady’s Costco card and ran back to the front to get a second cart. I caught up to my family in the cold section, where we stocked up on milk, almond milk, eggs, and sour cream. From there, we hit the coolers for all kinds of things. Taquitos, cheese pizzas, fries, hot dogs, burgers, and a couple kinds of cheese. I always feel good when we don’t need much from the aisles, and that was today. We got apple sauce, some crackers that were on sale, coffee grounds, and that was really it. Oh, and a super pack of Kleenex. It was during the aisles that suddenly Rowan made a face and said he really had to use the bathroom. Why not, right? Brady took the hit and ran with Rowan while I limped us towards baby land, pushing one cart, and helping direct the other one that Dekker was pushing. It helps SO MUCH that he likes to push the cart. Once in the baby section, I moved the carts around a bit and fit two boxes of diapers and a box of wipes. There was NOOOOO WAY this could’ve fit in one cart, haha!
We got to the till, where it was surprisingly quiet, and started to unload our enormous haul of goodies. The kids were kind of wandering, not away, but in that special way where, no matter where you step, you step on one. We laughed at ourselves, and chatted with the women at the till. They said the other day, a kid had wandered off and was “missing” for a short time in the store. They said it was definitely scary, of course, but he had been found fairly quickly. They said it happens sometimes, but they all love kids so much, and they usually try and solve what they can with ice cream 🙂 They said they remember us from past shopping trips and that our kids are SO good. It was a really lovely compliment, and I thanked her for it.
And as quickly as our chat was done, poor Solly got his toe run over by a cart! Waaaaailing barely describes his reaction, and I don’t blame him one bit. Those carts were FULL, and that would HURT! Brady scooped him up instantly. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an employee was at his side with a little cold pack. “Just crack it in half and it’ll start working!” And she was gone. It was such a lovely thing. There must be employees in that area of the store who have those on hand for exactly that reason! Isn’t that just SO thoughtful? I love seeing that in the world, in somewhere so mundane as a grocery store, showing love without obligation. Thats how I want to be.
Everyone recovered. We made it home in time for the little ones to get a nap in. Brady and I got the sweaty groceries put away before anything spoiled.
I perused Facebook and noticed PBR had an unbelievable deal on grapes. I kicked myself for not checking before we left the city, but I never have. Yet I keep missing good deals so maybe I need to start. The deal had been $3 for a FLAT of grapes. As in eight bags for $3. Crazy! I whined to Cher about missing out, and apparently she was in the city! She and her mom lovingly offered to stop in for me, and when they did, flats of grapes were flying out the door at $1 PER FLAT! They grabbed me two flats, totally $2. INSANE! I was SO thankful!! Still am.
The kids woke up from their naps and played in the lap pool. I felt a bit left out, to be honest, but rather than hanging out in the sun with them and Brady, I washed and snipped and washed and snipped and washed and snipped and bagged and bagged and bagged those grapes. It was actually super awesome. Once I got into it, I just flew through it! We managed to eat a ton of grapes at supper, share some bags with friends, and bag up a good amount for ourselves over the next couple of days. And I have to say, this was another reminder of exactly what I want to do and who I want to be. I wish I could’ve bought ten flats and washed them up and shared them with everyone!! Because of course everyone wants some! But not everyone can get there. And frankly, neither could I this time around. But maybe someday 🙂 We have lots of people, and they eat a lot, but we also love to share. We’ve been on the receiving end of people’s generosity more times than I can count, that’s for sure! All of that to say, $2 later we had a few days worth of fruit, plus we got to connect with some friends in a small way. Thanks again, Cher and Sandy, for your help in that!!
We gave the kids a snacky supper and they watched music videos and danced their sillies out before bed. Jerilee came as they were going down, and we finally finished the Bachelorette up together. We ate tuna melts and had some more of my bday ice cream cake. It was such a fun way to close the day 🙂
Let’s hope today is just as nice. Yesterday will be hard to beat.
Today is August 2nd, which means that it is the first month since December 2017 that I won’t be documenting Waverly because the project that Hailey and I had planned is complete. Waverly Violet is 13 months old. I had a feeling of disappointment today while I was sitting on Hailey’s couch. I said this is the first 2nd of the month that we won’t be taking pictures. We both kind of sat there looking at each other like “now what” and then came the slow nods of acceptance, followed by Hailey asking me if I would be interested in writing a guest post about my perspective from Waverly’s delivery day.
Last year I had sent her an email with some memorable and random memories from that day that were more specific, but in order to accurately paint a picture from my view as the friend and photographer, I am going to write from my today memory because I think that writing what my heart remembers would be far more meaningful than the factual series of events. So stuff will get missed, but I think that’s okay.
The morning of July 2nd, 2018, I waited for Hailey to tell me when it was a good time to come take the very last photos our maternity series project. She was in very good spirits when I came over, although I have no doubt she was feeling excited and nervous and everything in between. We took our photos, and I remember looking at the bag she packed for the hospital that was sitting against the wall of her bedroom, ready to go. A bag she had planned on packing two times before, but never got to. “Don’t forget your chapstick!” I said as I left the house. Brady and Hailey were waiting for their call from the hospital, so I went back home and I sat on the couch anxiously imagining what the day would be like.
The call finally came just before noon, and they got a short head start ahead of me. Once I got to the hospital, Hailey sent me a video showing me where to go because this was my first time being in the maternity ward. I ended up parking across the street and walking over. It was honestly SUCH a beautiful day out. The sun was shining, everything was green, and there was just a calm. I don’t know if it was internal or external or both. I took the elevator and met them in the waiting room. I sat beside Brady while Hailey finished getting herself checked in. I couldn’t see in front of me. I had absolutely NO clue what I was in for. All I knew what that I trusted that everything would be okay.
Hailey came and sat with us, and shortly after, a nurse came and introduced herself and showed us to the delivery room. When we walked in, the first thing I saw was the white board on the wall between the two windows the sun was shining through. It said Hailey’s name, and “Healthy mom and baby”. I thought that was so nice. Hailey sat on the bed and they began asking her questions and getting her prepared for her induction. I took out my camera equipment and started to adjust my settings. Brady stayed by her side the entire time, full of support and motivation for her. I could tell how excited he was, but wow, what a patient man Brady is. It was a photographer’s dream to capture such a loving, genuine, close couple. I can’t imagine what these two were feeling. The anticipation, the fear, the excitement.. all of it. I felt what I saw when they looked at each other.
Backstory: At this point, Hailey and I had only been friends for a short time. We had seen each other in the hallways at school, youth groups, and around town, so we were strangers until this project. But between the naptime visits, photo sessions, and daily messaging/planning, we developed a very vulnerable trust for each other; Especially when it came to grief and loss. The loss of her two sons, Theo and Jamin in 2017, and the loss of my brother and cousin in 2018. Although these losses are completely different, they are the same kind of different. Hailey and Brady brought their kids to my brothers funeral, had me over for suppers and visits, and supported me all while dealing with their own grief and fear. When Hailey asked me if I would ever take delivery photos, I was so honoured that she would want me to be the person to capture that event. I did, and still do, think so highly of her. I think she is one of the bravest people I have ever met. And absolutely one of the most supportive and soft friends I have had the pleasure of getting to know. And I think a big part of what makes her so beautiful, is that she doesn’t even know it. So taking these photos was an absolute honour, but I was also VERY nervous that I might not have been able to do as good of a job as they deserved.
Alright back to the story…
As I said before, I don’t recall every specific detail, but I remember watching her getting the famous epidural and that was surprisingly better than I had originally imagined. I was still very much not a fan of long pokey things of that length, but I can absolutely appreciate something to help with the pain of pushing an entire human being out of your body. I remember Hailey saying right after the doctor finished putting in the epidural, that it’s not as painful as it looks, but I don’t know. I think that was the popsicle talking. I have my doubts because there is no way it hurts less than a stubbed toe, and I still want to cry when that happens. It didn’t help that she needed it done a second time because the first time it slid a little and Brady noticed a bulge in her back which promoted the second round. It was fine though, I survived.
We had snacks and visited and laughed and talked and had a lovely afternoon. It was taking longer than normal for Hailey to start pushing, so I think she was worried about MY TIME waiting there, yet I just loved watching it all unfold. She was frequently checked by this one doctor with GIANT hands that were almost too big for the biggest size of gloves. That was a bit intimidating. He was awesome though. All the doctors and nurses seemed to really love the excitement and energy in the room. Hailey did so well with all the super vulnerable stuff. I kept myself busy when she needed her privacy, and she felt comfortable knowing that we understood each other pretty well with unspoken boundaries.
A couple scary things began to unfold towards the beginning of ACTUAL pushing. Hailey had a chunk of… something… exit her body. Was it blood? Was it part of the placenta? They called Dr. Guselle and she looked at it and admitted that it wasn’t normal. They cleaned her up, and stated that if anything else develops, then she will obviously need special care, which would mean I couldn’t take photos, and also, possible complications. We stayed hopeful, and then the nurse had problems getting a consistent heart rate from the baby. Brady left for a short time to get something, so I sat in the chair next to Hailey, trying to distract her with some meaningless magazine I brought with me. She just stayed so strong. Of course she was scared, but she also stayed very level. Brady returned, and they checked Hailey again. It was time to push.
One nurse had suggested I stand in a corner sort of where all the business was with the cords and machines, but I rebelled. I grabbed my camera and I stood to the left of her, sort of behind her head and behind Brady. It’s a WHOLE THING watching a baby being born. All of a sudden it feels scary and exciting and complicated all at once. And I wasn’t even the one having the baby. The doctors and nurses worked together and got the lights on, the equipment they needed, they got Hailey and the bed in position, and it was go time.
I saw pain on her face only once, right at the beginning. I actually captured it. I remember her saying “oh this one is going to hurt” and then I moved back a little to capture the business at the end of the bed. She began to push, Brady was right beside her, Dr. Guselle was holding Hailey’s “dead leg” that was pretty useless from the epidural.
Dr. Giant Hands was guiding her, and the nurses were all over the place making the experience go as smoothly as they possibly could. I actually don’t remember if there was one or two nurses, but there was a lot of movement, so my brain is going to go with two.
I could tell how much the doctors really cared about Hailey. They were so enthusiastic and encouraging. It was such a warm, loving room. A couple pushes in, and Hailey’s water broke. I was looking through my lens at the time, and this big wave of water came out of nowhere (well, we know where.. So.. nowhere.. Get it?) and onto her chest. The doctor said it was just blood mixed in with a lot of water, and the nurse cleaned it up immediately, but Hailey was not concerned, she was focused. “It’s okay, it’s okay” she ensured the room. Dr. Guselle looked at me and asked if I had captured that ocean that just left Hailey’s body, but unfortunately, I did not.
Only a couple minutes later, and there is a whole baby. I captured the doctors carrying Waverly up to Hailey’s chest. It was unreal. She didn’t even cry, but not in the good way – In the way that makes parents concerned. Hailey was crying and talking to the baby “Are you okay?? Are you okay?? Are you okay!!?” and she was.
As she stuck her tongue out at me and began to move her head around, Hailey’s shoulders dropped, and she saw that this baby was coming home.
Immediately I noticed that this baby girl had curly hair. Something Hailey had talked about being really cute and fun to have, since Brady has very curly hair, and Hailey has very straight hair. Waverly had such soft, but strikingly gorgeous features. Right away I saw her oldest brother Dekker in her. Then I saw Rowan in her gorgeous full lips. Even full of womb paste, she was just BEAUTIFUL!!!! We were all in awe.
I decided to go for a little walk and give Hailey and Brady some space. And to be honest, I needed some too. “What just happened? I saw a baby being born. THAT IS INSANE!!!!” I thought to myself. I wandered over to a common area and I sat down where people were getting snacks out of the vending machine. I could hear them talking about the look on my face. I was feeling a million things at once. It hadn’t even been 3 months since my brother passed away, and only two weeks since Andrea passed away, and with all that death, I just witnessed life, and the contrast was deep..
So many overlapping thoughts and feelings. I wondered for so long how I would feel after Waverly was born. Would I be indifferent? Grossed out? Happy? At that time, I was already starting to love her. And now, I don’t want her to have any less than 100 years on this earth. I want her to enjoy all the small pieces of life so fully that the big pieces will be so much bigger. I want her to bring the same peace into this world that she gave me when I got to watch her enter life so calmly and beautifully.
I will never forget leaving Hailey’s house after every maternity photo session, and before she said goodbye, she would sit on the stairs in front of the door and hope that there would still be a belly to capture the next time I came. She would sometimes ask me “What do we do if this is it and she dies?” and I could never answer her. I still couldn’t. I don’t know how life works, or why things happen the way that they do. I don’t understand why some prayers are answered and others are not. I have learned that it is not time that heals all wounds, it is love. And although we remember the hurt, some days more than others, we are not denied the chance to love and be loved.
Thank
you, Lord, for Waverly. And for reminding me that even though there are endings, there are also beginnings.
