Its a bit nerve wracking to share publicly when I’m struggling with my family, for a handful of reasons. I never want to seem ungrateful for my children, and I feel the need to constantly state how I would choose my exact life, and the trials that come along with it, with no hesitation. Also, because I blog publicly, I’m obviously available to be criticized, through comments or messages. While I’m no stranger to this, it doesn’t make it easier. It really hurts my feelings when people who aren’t actually present to observe our life choose to judge.

All of this being said, I truly am running out of other things to write about right now 🙁 This last week specifically has been incredibly difficult over here, and I am DRAINED. I know kids are kids, and disappointment is a tough thing when you’re little, but these days, it doesn’t matter what I say. It is ALWAYS questioned and argued back at me. No. Matter. What. And its exhausting! I swear, even when its something that they like, there is SOME “but, Mommy…” after it. Always. I have NEVER argued as much as I have in the last few days. Not ever.

Please don’t say this is normal kid stuff. I am aware this is not uncommon. But it is so much more than usual, and I feel like I’m about to hit capacity on this level. Some straight up blatant disobedience added to the mix has juuust about put me over the edge. Each day, I am completely finished, and then someone pushes that last little bit. With that, most special privileges are lost, and the kids are furious. Them losing the things they love is just as much a punishment for me as it is for them. For the record, the things they’re losing never ever include reading stories, coloring, building, playing, snuggles, etc. Its more they’re losing tv, certain toys they’re fighting over, sometimes their bedtime stuffies, dessert that day, etc. I can’t tell you how many times in the last week one of them has lost a stuffed toy, and the moment they get it back in bed with them, they hurl it across the room and lose it again.

Please don’t judge our parenting. I know I’m putting things out there that not everyone will agree with or practice in their own homes. Its just been a really hard stretch for us, and I’m having trouble pinpointing what changed in the last week that makes them suddenly feel the need to push absolutely every boundary. I suppose its a stage, and sometimes the close age gap stings more than benefits. In this case, sometimes they all go through the same stages at the same time. And its hard. But we’ve done it before, and can do it again. I’ve just been trying to avoid writing a post that just harps on the kids, yet here we are.

Know how much I love my kids <3 I wouldn’t change them for anything. But YIKES this was a long week! I’ve never slept so hard in my life.

Brady got home yesterday and made his rounds, kissing every member of his family. When he got to me, he kissed me, and then kissed the baby and greeted her. Laela giggled at this, and asked why Brady had talked to my tummy. We explained to her that we talk to Bambina a lot.

Laela: Can I?
Me: Can you what? Talk to her?
Laela: Ya, can I talk to her, too?
Me: Of course you can! You can talk to her anytime!
Laela: Well, can she hear me?
Me: She can, yes! If you talk to her lots, she’ll remember your voice when she’s born. So its like she’ll know you already! Isn’t that exciting!
Laela: Ya…
Me: Did you want to talk to her?
Laela: Do you?
Me: Haha! I talk to her all the time.
Laela: Well do you want to now?
Me: Laela, are you a little nervous to talk to her?
Laela: Ya. A little bit.
Me: You don’t have to talk to her, but you can anytime!
Laela: Can you tell her my name?
Me: Of course! *to my belly* Hey, sweetheart, Laela is your sister. She loves you and she wants to talk to you!
Laela: (HUGE smile) I can’t!!
Me: Do you want to give her a little rub instead?
Laela: Ya! I’ll do that! (rubs my belly)

Within seconds, Dekker was next to us. He put his hand on my belly, kissed it, and said “I love you, Bambina” to his little sister. Rowan was close behind, and did the exact same thing.

I checked in with Laela one last time, and she said she felt a little shy, but she was full of smiles.

I love how much my kids love each other, and how much they understand what is to come. We are ALL anticipating her arrival so so much!

I’ve found myself in this funny spot recently, where I have pictures I want to share but SO many of them are of Solly!! Sometimes I fear judgement, that people think I favor one child over the other. I assure you that is NOT the case!! Kids go through stages where they do and don’t want to be photographed, or stages where they’re busier and can’t be caught on camera. Solly just happens to be a TOTAL cheeseball these days, and LOVES being photographed! So please don’t hate on me for having more pictures of Solly on here. Its just how it played out this time around 🙂

This first picture is of Laela, wearing “vet glasses” that came with one of Rowan’s birthday gifts. She insists she is Dr. Rubab, Dekker’s ophthalmologist. She’s pretty fancy, if you ask me. She loves wearing glasses. If she actually ends up needing them, I don’t anticipate I’d have any issue getting her to wear them 🙂

Solly was a particular breed of weirdo this evening, and thought he was SO funny sitting in the chair I usually sit in. He was super pleased with himself, haha!

So I relinquished my chair to him and went and sat on the stairs by the kitchen, and he came and found me. The sun was going down at that moment and came in through the kitchen window, right onto him. I LOVE these pictures!!

Our kids have recently enjoyed taping/stapling papers together and making “posters.” This poster was aimed to be a treasure map, and while I’m not sure thats how it ended up, Dekker was pretty proud of his creation!

A different day this week, Wednesday, Brady was off work and we went to the city for errands and my physio appointment. Our kids LOVE errand days (Dekker was pretty disappointed to miss it for school) but for one reason or another, Ro was a super grump about it! He was the least willing participant…

And that carried on aaaaall throughout the day! He just wanted to be home playing toys, but he lived. Brady freed them out of their car seats while I was in physio. I made sure to take a picture of Brady himself sitting in Laela’s car seat, lol!

The highlight of shopping that day, apparently, was Solly getting his next dose of laxatives!! I wrote about his constipation issues the other day, and the long process of retraining his bowel has begun. Yes, it happens in the form of laxative treatments. I don’t know what you see in his expression, but I think he’s pretty ok with the plan 😉 Stoked, even.

The last picture I’ll share is of myself and Bambina! I so rarely put myself together these days, so when I finally did, I wanted to document it. And that baby is growing, wow!!

There you have it, friends!! The last few days of pictures, in a random, disorganized photo dump. Its been a while since I’ve done one of these 🙂 I hope you enjoyed! Never too many pictures of these kids!

I like planning. It makes me excited and happy. However, I know that planning can be bad, sometimes, when you end up wishing time away or missing the “now” moments. That is NOT ideal.

I have also learned in the last year-ish that plans don’t really mean anything. As in, we can plan aaaaall we want, but we have so little control in what is actually going to happen. How many times does something come up and change the plans altogether? SO often!! So, at least for me, plans are more just entertainment for me while I wait for whatever is actually going to happen happens.

Its scary to plan for the baby, as badly as I want to. Its impossible for me to keep my head from going there from time to time. Its that unfortunate place between wanting to plan for her, but feeling so vulnerable when I do actually let myself believe that she’ll come home. So I’ve found a fun way to plan indirectly for her, haha! And its TOTALLY justified!!

As I’ve mentioned before, she is due early July. I leave for a nice long lake holiday towards the end of July. Between her being born and us going to Waskesiu, I want to throw her a little meet and greet party. And by “little,” I mean everyone I know is invited. I know, I know, I’ll have just delivered a baby! Don’t push it, Hailey! But I want to throw that party, so I guess I’d better have it all planned out in advance! The lake is the same story. Its totally doable, but in a normal world, I’d start making lists and getting certain things together maybe 2-3 weeks before we’d leave. Except those 2-3 weeks are going to be FULL with newborn baby stuff, as well as a party! I need to be ORGANIZED!! So, I’m planning!

I was fortunate enough to spend a few hours of this morning with my mom, while the older kids were at school. We talked a little bit about our summer holiday, as they’re joining us out there for the second half of it. I’m SO glad that worked out! I’ve already been having some thoughts of things we CANNOT forget to bring, but things I will never remember right before we leave. For instance, I need to make a little sign to put up on our door so the paper boy doesn’t bang down the door every morning at 8:00am sharp. Things like that. Rowan is officially done in a playpen (lol! He’s huge!) so we need to find an extra mattress or cot or something for him. We’ll need a mattress for our one playpen thats just a bit too hard, so both Solly and Bambina will each have a soft comfy playpen to sleep in. Little things like that. Basics, but things that are out of the ordinary. Eek! I can’t wait for the lake! And to call the little Miss by name!!!

I feel more organized already in planning her party, because I have forced myself to keep my idea buds simple. I am continually coming up with new ideas of cute snacks I could put out, or pretty decor I could make, but MY GOODNESS, I’ll have JUST had a baby! So I’ve pulled back, but I’m not kidding about wanting to have a very real party for her, and I hope many of you lovely people come and meet the baby we’re all anticipating together! I don’t want to talk about details too publicly yet, because frankly, this party does depend on her being born and coming home :/ As harsh as it sounds, thats just less confident at the moment, whereas as our lake trip will happen regardless. Sorry :/ I know its all kind of depressing to talk about, but its just reality. So I’ll probably plan the baby party slightly more behind closed doors 😉 and thats ok! Talk to me about it in person or through messages, I’d be MORE than happy to talk about it!!! Just not here, where its more vulnerable to all of you silent followers that I know are there but can’t identify 😉 You’re invited, too, by the way.

After a lovely morning spend with one of my FAVORITE women of all time, I’m spending nap time up in my bed while my three little nappers actually nap! We’ll all load up for Dekker soon enough, but until then, rest is on the agenda! And then a LONG evening of catching up on the Bachelor is ahead!!

I haven’t been to physio in a long, long time. I started seeing my amaaazing physiotherapist right after I had Solly. I had pulled a muscle in my abdomen and it just wasn’t getting better. I really should’ve been seeing her before then, but better late than never. When I finally bit the bullet and met with her, I kicked myself for waiting so long. She is truly the most knowledgable person I’ve ever met when it comes to womens health, specifically pelvic floor stuff. She has a beautiful approach, where she NEVER shows judgement, NEVER asks for perfection, and ALWAYS gives you a plan that fits smoothly into your life.

The last time I saw her was when I starting to experience discomfort in my pregnancy with Jamin. She gave me lots of good tips and encouragement, as I was quite nervous to run out another pregnancy that was as painful as Solly’s, that left me feeling disabled and incapable of regular, everyday tasks. We all know how my pregnancy with Jamin ended up, and unfortunately, I haven’t been back since my postpartum checkup with her.

Now that I’m further into the game with Bamina, I figured it was time to resurface and see her. She’s moved into a brand new women’s health clinic, with a hand picked group of amazing women, all specializing in womens health in the forms of physio, OBs, and gynos. And when I say specialists, I mean it. Its not like they’ve each just taken a class so they can say they’re experts. They are truly the best of the best!

For some reason, booking appointments feels like a daunting task for me, but a few weeks ago when Brady told me he had the 7th off, I took that as my opportunity to book physio. And that day was today! I got to my appointment a bit early to fill out forms, and got in with my physiotherapist even a few minutes early.

I won’t walk you through my appointment step my step, but it was wonderful. We talked about all the things I’ve been feeling and what discomforts I’ve experienced. I told her I’ve been trying harder than ever to follow the “rules” and I saw her light up a little as I recounted just which rules I was talking about. She seemed really happy that I had retained so much information from our past meetings. We figured out an idea for my biggest issue, which is my pelvis clunking apart with no warning while I’m lying in bed. We agreed that sleep is necessary, and I’m getting far less of it because every time I lull and roll over, I have to be very awake and very careful how I’ll roll over, and then I’m just too awake :/ New plan: wear one of those soft belly bands, folded over a time or two, around my hips/butt/where I wear my handi-belt, in order to give my pelvis just that much more support and maybe, possibly, it won’t clunk out of place as often. We can hope.

Her first exercise is always to stand both she and I in front of the mirror and see how aligned (or misaligned) I am. Then I stand on one foot, and then on the other foot. On a normal day, or even a good day, my balance sucks. I always flunk that part of the appointment, haha! But I was surprisingly balanced today! I hesitated more with one leg, but its the one that tends to give out on me, so I don’t trust it all that much. Still, it was successful. Then I lay down on the exam table/bed, and she checked my pelvis over. And she was SO pleased! Apparently my pelvis was only slightly out of line, and with a very soft releasing treatment on the one side, it was centred again. She told me she could really tell that I was following the rules, and it was paying off. I was so relieved to hear this, because if you’ve ever worked on your pelvic floor health, or things in that vicinity, you know that results aren’t always easy to spot, and its easy to get discouraged when your exercises feel fruitless. After my exams were over, we stood together and just talked for a few minutes, and she told me she thought I was genuinely doing an amazing job. She commented that my posture was exactly right, and that my stance was centred. All of these things may sound small but it was such a reassuring appointment, and I felt like a million bucks walking out of there. I am using my tools, and they’re paying off! The work I’m putting in is counting for something! She left the appointment on a high note, saying I was welcome back anytime, but that for the moment, I was doing everything I needed to do, and we shouldn’t book a follow up that I don’t absolutely need. She said she wouldn’t be surprised if the next time I got in touch with her, I was postpartum, but I’d be surprised! Haha! I expect pain will gradually increase as time goes on, but I don’t want to be a pessimist either. I would be THRILLED if I could really manage this situation on my own, using the resources she’s offered me and the self discipline that I’m trying to exercise.

I feel encouraged, and happy, and hopeful 🙂 I’m SO glad I went! And for any of you who have had babies (or haven’t) and are interested in pelvis health and all those good things that no one talks about but should, now is the time to get in with my physiotherapist! With her recently moving clinics, she is a bit easier to get in with, and again, she is the BEST! I would happily pass on her info to anyone who wants it!

I hope you all enjoyed the sunshine today! I know I did! ☀

There as been this beautiful shift in Dekker since he started school. I’ve talked about it a lot on the blog, I believe, but it still excites my heart! He is growing into this boy who is less afraid to take risks, be in groups, or in new situations, and best of all, he’s more confident in himself, and it shows. While Dekker still loves home, he now loves school! Once Dekker had settled into kindergarten, we never struggled with much fight getting him to stay at school once he was there, but if it were up to him, he would’ve far rather stayed home.

Grade one has been different in such a good way! He likes his home days, but school is also very much his happy place! He enjoyed having yesterday at home (thanks to his weekend sickness) but he was SO excited to go back today! He was eager and hyper in the morning, eating breakfast faster than normal, and was ready to go a bit too early, but instead of playing, he offered to feed Solly his yogurt and to make his bed. This kid, though ❤

I walked him from the van to school, like always, and he was just pulling me like a dog, haha! He was so ready 🙂 That just thrills my heart. I don’t anticipate that will get old before its possibly gone. I’m sure the novelty of going to school will wear off eventually 😉

Picking him up from school was a happy sight too 🙂 I was outside visiting with one of the other moms who I haven’t seen for a while, when the bell rang. In the past, if I’ve been a minute or two late, Dekker makes his way outside and finds me. Yet after a few minutes, he hadn’t shown up, so I bowed out of our conversation and went to find him. He was standing in the hallway with his teacher, waiting for me. I’d say “my bad,” but his teacher was away all last week, the week before was the break, and he had been home yesterday. And guys, he LOVES his teacher. So I’m not surprised that he stuck around with her a little bit 😉 He was full of smiles, and he was super happy to see me. He ran down the small stretch of hallway and dove at me. Now we used to do this on the daily, where he’d leap into the air and I’d catch him. It was cute, but as he continues to grow (and as I continue to grow) my pelvis doesn’t appreciate the game, and neither does my centre of gravity. So we pretty much never do our mid-air hug anymore. But he was so amped today, I couldn’t shut him down! It was so sweet.

He’s now home, and cooperating beautifully with his homework, and is asking questions and celebrating everything that he’s completing. I love watching him take pride in what he knows and pushing to learn what he doesn’t know confidently yet. He just impresses me, and I admit that I was worried for a little while there that I’d be dragging him through some of these little years. I’m happy to be able to walk alongside him rather than forcing and pushing him.

This. Is. Awesome.

Today. Was. Awesome!

I wonder if all my series posts will start this way from now on. I can’t believe I’m 22 weeks all of a sudden!! I think it helps that the sun is coming up a bit earlier. It also helps that I can feel our little Bambina move from time to time. Time passes easier when our mental health is better, right? Right. Mine isn’t exactly aces but its rolling. We’ll talk more about that soon.

Size Comparison: These size comparisons, though. They crack me up. I THINK they go mostly by height? Based on that, baby is roughly as tall as a cob of corn, or a spaghetti squash, or my Nalgene water bottle! Being that my water bottle is significantly larger than a cob of corn, I’m thinking its just a height comparison. So baby is about a foot tall. And thanks to last weeks ultrasound, I learned her weight is ballparked around 14 oz, so just shy of one pound! To think she’ll still gain so many of those.. I can’t wait!

Appointments: I had probably the BEST ultrasound I’ve ever had last Friday! We took the last appointment of the day, because it suits us very well to be able to pick Dekker up from school and go all together. It also seems to be the best time for them, because no one is in a rush, they’re very relaxed about the kids running around the waiting area a bit, and they really make us feel welcome! Friday was no different. Solly was finally feeling better (YAY for a pooping toddler!) so he was all over the place, visiting the ladies at the desk, playing with the toys, and shrieking at everything. It was cute! The kids spread out the waiting room toys pretty well, but tidied up quickly before heading back. Our tech was lovely and warm to them, as usual. They headed to play with the bins of toys provided, and we started our scan. The kids were more energetic than usual that day, and our baby clearly wanted to fit in with her siblings! She was SO active and wiggly! It was awesome to see 🙂 She was sucking her thumb, sticking her tongue out, and waving her arms. Getting her heart rate took effort, as she simply refused to hold still, but we finally got it recorded as 166 bpm. Thats a GREAT heart rate! We got beautiful, clear views of her nose and mouth, and her hands were just all over the place! We confirmed, once again, that she is still a girl 🙂 The whole thing just thrilled my heart! Sadly, for the first time ever, the printer was malfunctioning, and I left without pictures. But my tech insisted I stick my head in there another day soon and get some, because they were just some of the BEST pictures we’ve ever gotten of her! The kids, however, did not leave empty handed. Our tech had some little prize boxes and let each kid choose a gift. Rowan and Solly chose dinosaurs, Dekker got a “crystal,” and Laela managed to weasel herself into getting TWO toys – a “diamond” and a necklace. They were so thrilled. All of us were. Next appointment with my doctor is still two-ish weeks away. Oh! And physio starts on Wednesday, finally!

How am I feeling emotionally: I think my emotions are going to continue in a similar fashion throughout the rest of my pregnancy. As I mentioned, I am THRILLED, and excited, and things are feeling more and more real, and possible, and hopeful! But every one of those feelings is quickly followed by a wash of anxiety. Losing her now would hurt SO much. Not that it wouldn’t have hurt before. That fear is real. But to cross more and more milestones and THEN lose her… I don’t know what I would do. And as much as I don’t want to, I carry some fear in that department, and I likely will until she’s born. Maybe a bit afterwards. I’m not sure. I don’t want to plan for fear, but I also don’t want to pretend its not there. 

How am I feeling physically: Dare I say, for fear of jinxing it, that I’m feeling a bit stronger?? Nausea is pretty gone. When it is around, its small enough that I can ignore it. My boobs hurt again, which I could live without. At least I have bras that fit again! That should only help. My legs and pelvis aren’t in constant pain, which I’m thankful for. However, they hurt differently than they have in the past. In previous pregnancies, my legs and pelvis would be shot by the end of the day unless I really did NOTHING that day, which was almost never. I’m sure thats still coming, let’s be real. But these days, I can go through many days feeling fine, but my pelvis will give up on me with NO warning, and out of nowhere, there will be an audible crunch sound, and I will have searing pain for the next two days. Its quite unreal to not be able to anticipate it. I super hate that. But again, I’m finally going to physio on Wednesday, where I’m sure my amaaazing therapist will be a wealth of ideas and information. I can’t wait!

Wish Lish/Purchases: If you missed it, I posted my unreasonable wish list on Fridays post. It was fun to just lay it all out there, and I am so excited that a friend offered to lend me her Rock n Play for Bambina!! One less thing I have to buy! I’m stoked 🙂 I’ve added a few cute little things to my wish list for her, like the knotted/twisted headbands from this etsy shop. The prices are awesome, but I don’t love the shipping costs, so I’ll likely start fishing around locally 🙂 I also have my eye on a few stretchy car seat covers from Amazon, just haven’t bit the bullet yet. Do you guys like option #1 or option #2 better? I like option #1 better, I think, but its literally twice and price. Hmmm… 🤔 Lots of daydreaming these days. Have you seen the adorable little baby rash guard bathing suits Old Navy just put out? Ack! I have a problem…

Pictures: I wish I had ultrasound pictures for you, but no dice :/ I do have a belly picture, though! Hopefully that counts for something!

Its growing….. Its pretty bizarre to see just how out there it is. But I like it. I feel pregnant, and I feel like I look pregnant! Wins all around.

How are the kids feeling: Now that they kids know the baby’s gender and that question is off the table, they just want her to come already!! I think we all feel the way around here 😉 So the countdown is on! And by “countdown,” I don’t mean number of days. I should rather say that the timeline is on! When the kids ask, we do a rundown of the timeline. It goes something like this:

The snow will melt and spring will come, hopefully in the next month or so.
Once spring is nice and warm, we’ll start going to the lake on Saturdays.
Solly’s birthday is in May.
School for both Dekker and Laela will end in June.
Summer holidays will start.
A couple of weeks into summer, Bambina will come home!

I hope I can fill in some of the gaps with more fun things soon, but those are the basics anyway.

The kids are also anticipating her arrival in a more practical way. They constantly speculate who will get which job, and they “call” certain jobs, from getting her diapers and blankets to singing her songs. Feeding her seems to be a hot commodity, which warms my heart so much to hear! One of the little benefits for us bottle feeding families 🙂 I can’t wait to actually see some of that take place!

Getting to know the baby: I like to think that our little lady has pretty decent hearing, because she responds to her siblings from time to time. Not just during our last ultrasound, but in general, when they are bouncing off the walls rowdy, she is more active. It will be so amazing to see her finally home with her siblings, eventually playing with them and laughing at them. 

The BEST part of being pregnant: Bambina is growing! And the COOLEST thing that happened this week was her moving and me being able to feel her bump against me in two different places at once! I know it sounds like such a small thing, but its continued proof that she is growing and changing and hopefully thriving! 

Favourite thing: Ok I’m really trying to make this category of the series about a product of some kind that I’m excited about, but it just isn’t coming naturally. I decided today, instead of breaking my head over it, I’m going to use my truthful FAVORITE thing about this week, and that is my pooping toddler!!! What a HUGE change we’ve seen in Solly now that he’s not constipated and in constant discomfort! He is more playful, and silly, and chatty, and even more comprehensive! He follows simple directions better than ever before, and follows along after his siblings, whereas before, he’d often choose to stay put where he was. You can just tell 🙂 He feels like a million bucks, and THAT is my favorite thing!!! 

So I cheated a little bit on the end part of today’s post, but thats what you’re getting! After Dekkers rough vomiticious (yup, don’t question it) weekend, he’s home for the day, and all FOUR kids are sleeping!!! Not Bambina, but I’m cool with that. She and I can spend some one on one time together this afternoon 🙂 I don’t mind! She’s probably enjoying the cookies I’m eating.

Don’t forget to tell me quick car seat cover you like better!

Trust me. This was not my plan for todays post. Sigh. 🤮

So yesterday wasn’t a bad day. We drove to the city (yes, into the blizzard) and Brady bought a van to replace his current van that is on its absolute last leg. It was a somewhat stressful driving situation, and I was pretty shaky once we got home. Not ideal. But, thankfully, we were all safe, we have a new working van for Brady, and the kids were in good moods. Dekker asked if he could share a special hot chocolate packet that he’s been saving with his siblings, so we mixed that up for them and they shared a treat at the table.

They played great for the rest of the day and went to bed at a good time. Brady and I were so pleased at how quickly they fell asleep and how peaceful they all were. Wins all around! He and I had supper and a soak in the tub, and were watching some tv before going to bed.

At 10:00 ish, we heard someone coming up our stairs. I called “hello?” and no one answered. The steps stopped. I tried again, and Dekker appeared in our doorway looking more asleep than awake. He wouldn’t answer me. He finally kind of burped/shrucked and told us he had thrown up a little. He came over to the bed and stood over my garbage can while Brady ran down and found a clean pail. Dekker was pretty disoriented, just standing still, quietly. His jammies were soaked, and I started peeling him out of them. He held his bucket while I got him out of his clothes, and he was shivering within seconds. We grabbed an extra blanket and wrapped him up, and plunked him on the chair in our room. He was pretty content there for the moment, so I headed down with Brady to see the damage.

He had clearly tried to make it to the bathroom. There was some mess there, though it was pretty minimal. His bed, however. WOW that thing had taken a hit!! His ENTIRE supper lay on his bedding, and I know this to be true because, up in my room, his feet were covered in his lunch. 🤢 Yes, I know how gross this all is. Once we saw the extent of the damage before us, I moved Dekker onto our bed and put an episode of Magic School Bus on the laptop for him very quietly. He was content.

Now we haven’t had vomit in a LONG time around here (thank the Lord!) but we are well versed in a quick bed change, thanks to last years months upon months of sickness. Brady worked fast and quiet, and Rowan only lulled a little bit, but managed to sleep through the majority of the wakeup. As soon as the room was cleaned, we tucked Dekker back into bed with his bucket nearby. He was so tired.

Brady and I wiped up the rest of the floor in the bathroom and hauled the laundry downstairs to get on that part of the job. We were sorting through all of the bedding, deciding what could go straight into the wash and what needed to be shaken out outside first, when we heard coughing from upstairs.

Brady bolted upstairs and I followed closely after. I met the boys sitting on the stairs, Dekker heaving and heaving into his bucket. Besides a bit of a mess on his new jammies and maybe a bit on his pillow, there was nothing too crazy to clean up. He was, however, pretty hesitant to go back to bed. I didn’t blame him. Brady went and continued on the laundry and I sat with Dekker for a while, to give his tummy a chance to settle. We cracked a few little jokes and he seemed to be in a decent mood in general. I jokingly asked for a selfie and he SMILED for it!! Lol! Couldn’t believe him!

He’s so stinking soft 💙

Back to bed he went, but insisted on having his bucket on the bed right beside him.

Now, I’ll admit. The night wakings run together for me. We slept here and there, but not well. Dekker was up a small handful of times after that, but I’m not sure how many. I’d say 5-6 in total. At one point, he just woke up to talk, which woke Rowan, and then Rowan was up and talking for quite some time. It was NOT a smooth night! Not for those two, anyway. Laela and Solly slept through the whole thing! Praise the Lord!

So far this morning, we have no vomit to report! Also no food intake, but still, it counts. Dekker is having fluids, slowly but surely, and he’s mentioning that he thinks he’ll be hungry for lunch. We’ll see how that goes! The BEST thing about a sick day around here is that its usually spent as lazily as possible. So we watched a movie this morning. Care to wager a guess about what we watched?

Storks! Lol! As usual 🙂

In the last half hour or so, Dekker’s started fevering, which is a bummer, but also means we won’t go to school tomorrow, which is ok, too. Dekker loves a good home day, but he also loves school, so we’ve got a good situation in that way right now.

Please say a prayer for us, if you think of it! For Dekker to feel better fast, for this to NOT be the flu, and that it doesn’t spread to any of the rest of us!! Very selfishly, I do NOT want what he’s got!

Feel better, Dekker!! You’re SO strong and brave!!

Don’t say I didn’t warn you! 💩

Facebook reminded me this morning of what Solly looked like a full year ago.

Note the prune-stache. That means that he was already having a difficult time pooping :/ Difficult enough that I had gone on the hunt to get him pureed prunes from the baby food section of the grocery store. At that point, I figured we were clearly in desperate times to need to make additional efforts to help him poop. I’d give him a scoop or two of prunes stirred into the minimal amount of solid food he was eating, and after a day or two, he’d poop, and I’d decide he was “all better.” I had no idea.

For literally the next YEAR, poor Solly worked to poop. He would either cry and drop down and strain and produce nothing, or sometimes he’d go hide and cry and work for it away from us. And guys, I failed. I completely missed how long it all went on 🙁 I have an embarrassing amount of pictures of him pooping in places that I thought was funny. I had him labelled as our bad pooper, which wasn’t untrue, but I didn’t realize just how bad things were :/

Solly would FINALLY have success, but he would scream like a wounded animal, and what came out of him was just not right. WAY too big. But when it happened, I’d take comfort in knowing that he was FINALLY cleaned out, and we could move forward. Except it never, ever helped, and it just kept happening. We hacked up prunes for him to eat like raisins, and gave him little bran muffins, and really amped up our fruit and veggie intake as a family. No dice. Nothing helped.

For the last month, he’s become irritable, and has flip flopped between sweet and funny, to VERY easily upset, to laying flat on his tummy on the floor (or on me,) unmoving, and sweat.

We finally gave up and resorted to suppositories. And they didn’t take. No joke. Nada. I sent this picture of him to a nurse friend of mine, telling her this was the face of a little dude, post-suppository, and she asked me a few questions.

After a brief evaluation and realizing just how long this had been a problem, I realized just how bad of a position Solly’s bowel was probably in. It must be SO stretched to produce such HUGE poops, and then just keep doing the same thing over and over again. So, we started Solly’s new “treatment.”

We rocked a clean-out treatment for three days with NO progress. THAT scared me. I didn’t want to have to admit him to the hospital because I had just simply missed how backed up he really was 🙁 So we decided to give him another day or two and slightly increase our plan. And it WORKED!!!

Yesterday, this little man FINALLY had some good relief!! Today is more of the same. And it shows!!! He feels SO much better! He doesn’t want to be held as much, thats for sure. He wants to chase his siblings and lift heavy things and play hard and scream and laugh and help out. Its pretty crazy to see such a shift in his personality literally the day of! Leaving our ultrasound yesterday, he didn’t want to be carried to the van. So he held hands and walked with the rest of us. And he EATS! A LOT! He definitely had some holdback before, and I just hadn’t realized how much until he didn’t have it anymore!

Today is more of the same. Solly is SO FUNNY today! Forgive his boogery nose, but I wasn’t going to mess up the happy picture 🙂 He. Feels. AMAZING. I’m so relieved, and he clearly is, too.

To be fair, he’s still pretty scared of diaper changes and such. I don’t blame him. He does NOT like pooping. Yet his poop this morning was NOT preceded by crying, so thats hopeful! We’re REALLY babying his little bum, to avoid absolutely any rashes or soreness. Anything to make things less traumatizing for him.

I want his success to continue! He will likely be on a light treatment to help him poop nice and easy for several months to give his little bowel a chance to actually be little again. A retraining exercise, so to speak. I am SO thankful to have had the help and expertise of a friend to help us through this tricky situation. I am confident that Solly is on the mend, and I can tell he for sure believes he is getting better, too.

What. A. Relief.

I know I have a “purchases/wish list” section on my “Womb in Bloom” series, but my purchases are growing and haven’t been well documented, so I thought I’d round them up to my favorite things! I also thought I’d add my wish list on here, just for fun 🙂 I’ll try and keep up better with purchases and such weekly on the series, but for now, this will do.

To be clear, my favorite things for Bambina are not all bought new. Some are things I’ve found in tubs of Laela’s old stuff. Some are from Value Village. Some are new. But all are things that I’m so excited to break out for our littlest family member.

First, these are the things I dug out of an old 6 month tub of Laela’s that I’m MOST excited to use again!

A quick rundown of these items!! The blazer was just something I couldn’t not bring home, even though it came with white pants that she never wore. But the blazer kicked butt, and will hopefully fit her coming into fall.

The white shoes are Puma’s we got from Value Village for Laela, and they were probably the first shoes we could actually get her chubby little feet into. I loved how they made her look so grown up when she would wear jeans and a hoodie. Super duper cute. I didn’t care if they were a bit worn.

The little rainbow padraigs are a must for winter! These ones have only ever been worn by Laela, so they’re still in beautiful shape. I’m so excited to pull them out again!

This skirt!! 😍 We received it in a care package from one of my aunties, and its just gorgeous! Laela wore it to church a few times, and to a few little events, and drew sooo much attention, haha! Its so lightweight and girly and I LOVE it.

Beyond this picture, I’m excited to use our little white eyelet set of crib bumpers, and to put our little bandana bibs on her. Though I can’t help but hope she won’t be as barfy as her siblings!! 🤞 I can dream, anyway.

Onto another picture! My Value Village favorites so far!

So these are all little sizes, because summer.

The first picture is a diaper shirt with a cute little ribbon detail on the back, that is likely just there to tickle her neck and annoy her 😉

The next one appears to have 3/4 length sleeves, but I can’t be sure. It may just have them because our kids are so long. I guess we’ll know soon!

The black shirt is definitely a favorite favorite! It also has kind of 3.4 length sleeves, or maybe just longer tshirt sleeves. It’s also longer in the back and shorter in the front, to keep her trendy 😉 Seriously, I would’ve never thought this shirt came from Carters!!

And some of you have probably seen these shoes before, but I can’t not put them in there! They’re SO stinking cute! Though I can’t speak for whether or not they’ll fit. My kids have such chubby feet, all the slip on styles don’t even have a chance of fitting. Trust me, we’ve tried. So we’ll give these a try.

So for my favorite things we’ve ordered new thus far…

This little sweatshirt, for some reason, I just couldn’t shake off. It has kind of bubble sleeves, and is a nice light material, which I think will be perfect for a newborn in summer. Its possible the matching sweatpants are in the mail…

This swimsuit has been haunting me since before we found out we were having a girl. You know those items that you just cannot shake off and then its literally years later that you’re regretting not getting them? Maybe thats just me, but I know this bathing suit is one of these things. So, we got it!

We picked up this little romper on our date night away in February, because it was too darn cute to leave behind. No regrets with that little number!

This sleeper holds a strangely special place in my heart. This was the first baby item we bought during this pregnancy. We didn’t know the baby’s gender, but still then, I would’ve said I thought baby was a boy. Even more than that, I would’ve said I wasn’t sure the baby was going to come. I’m still not confident, to be honest. So this was a ballsy purchase, but I just loved it and couldn’t not bring it home. I remember apologizing to Brady about buying it, and feeling literally sick to my stomach over it. I hid it in a drawer upon bringing it home. I was in such a rough place then, unsure of how to grieve and celebrate at the same time. I am SO happy to pull it out and actually let myself imagine putting a baby into it. Purple hedgehogs are the way to go!

Can we all just take a minute and let ourselves go there? To just believe that our babies WILL come join us?? This is my mental picture for my little summer girl!

This little denim dress was another item I found on the same day as I found that bathing suit I couldn’t let go of. It comes with little matching gitch and everything! Eek!

Hopefully none of you think I have a mad shopping problem or anything. I really honestly don’t. I don’t have to justify anything, lol, so I won’t 😉 Now that I have Laela’s baby stuff, some awesome hand me downs from friends, and a few fun new (or new to us) items, I know what spots I have left to fill, and I have time to fill them! This baby is going to be WELL prepared for!

Onto my wish list! Lol! The ONLY reason I’m even putting this list out there is because its all vastly expensive and unreasonable and will not justify buying very much of it at all, and I’m TOTALLY at peace with it! Hahaha! Most of a list of “in a perfect world” items 😉 So bear with me!

Hailey’s Unrealistic Wish List

• crazy new stroller – I would LOVE one of those beastly City Select double strollers! They are so versatile and push way more like a single stroller than a double stroller. Our double stroller is fine, and we are definitely not without in that area, but its a lot more like pushing a shopping cart. However, even if I did have the money to fork over for a new City Select stroller, I don’t think I could justify it. Those suckers are foolishly expensive! I mean no disrespect to people who have shelled that money out themselves, but I would likely only buy such a stroller if I found it second hand for an amazing price!
• new diaper bag – This is one I might actually justify! We’ll have to see. We have a great diaper bag, with no issues, but I have been eyeing this diaper bag for literal years. Its a lug puddle jumper style bag in a light lavendar color. Every time I walk through Lawson Mall, I duck my head into Frenzy, and every time, its still there. And its still over $100 :/ So I wait. But I may finally bite the bullet on this one down the line!
• rock n play – Have you guys heard of these things? I want to add a link, but to be fair, I’m not positive which one I for sure want! They’re like a rocking chair, sort of, for babies. It would basically replace our bouncy chair, which is still fine, but is a little too accessible to the other kids. Our older children would regularly just flop on top of the baby, aaaaalmost knocking him out of it completely. This one is a bit further out of reach, but still very visible. Also, the rock n play has a great reputation amongst the community of parents who have babies with reflux, food allergies, colic, and any kind of excessive barfing. Being that we’ve dealt with lots of that before, it seems like it would be a smart choice for us. Again, though, over $100, and our bouncy chair has been fine.
• playpen mattress – We’ll definitely get one of these along the way. Our babies don’t fit in their little cradle that long, and the playpen is the next step. Our playpen is fine, but I’d love for it to be a bit softer. No, not dangerously soft or anything. Just a bit more stable and bed-like.
• extras – I would LOVE to have a few doubles of things around here! Since baby will likely live in our room for quite some time, I would be so thrilled to have another Ubbi diaper pail in our room, and if I was getting reeeaaally “perfect world-ish” I would be so thrilled to have an extra Baby Brezza (basically a Keurig but for formula) in our room. It would lovely to store the many midnight diapers somewhere, and also not have to venture down into the kitchen and turn lights on when baby needs a bottle. But there are NOT things we will actually spend money on. These are things we can dream of 😉
• UC-Baby – We’ve gotten these 3D ultrasounds a couple of times in the past but we weren’t going to try and justify the cost this time around. However, if I could, I would love to! I relate this baby very closely to Laela, because that she’s been my only little girl, yet I realize that the two little girls will likely be very very different! In the 3D scans, we’ve been able to see who our baby will resemble, and it would be so handy to know who she resembles! Follow me down this rabbit trail briefly. Laela was 8 days overdue and weighed 9lbs10oz. Solly was 8 days early and weighed 10lbs7oz. Sooooo if Laela was 8 days early like Solly was, she would’ve been so little, and we would’ve needed newborn clothing! With Solly, we took him home in short little pants and a diaper shirt sized 3-6 months that we literally packed him into. He was a full on stuffed sausage. So knowing that kind of thing would be so fun 🙂 A luxury, for sure. Not a necessity. But fun!
• Thinx – Ok, lady talk alert! Sorry, boys, if you’re reading! But I need to talk recovery. Straight talk. I. Bleed. Forever. Like 6-7 weeks kind of “forever.” And it SUCKS wearing a pad that long. I have bled that long with every single child thus far, so I don’t anticipate pregnancy #7 will suddenly be the one where bleeding peters out at 2 weeks. I just don’t see it. Rather than wearing a pad ALL SUMMER and wrapping up our holidays with my own personal diaper rash, I would be SO happy to invest in some of those super absorbent underwear that women are starting to use instead of disposable period products. At least once the worst of it is over and the unending weeks of spotting begins, I could feel a bit more normal and have less soreness in my already-recovering body. Sorry if thats too gross of a topic, but, real talk. Recovery is a huge part of having a baby, and one people should talk more about. So while I’m REALLY hoping we can make this one happen for me, its obviously an expensive investment, and I’d need a handful of pairs at least. So we’ll see.

The things that are left on my wish list are more reasonable things that I will likely buy, or that I really want to buy! For instance, a particular book that must come from Bambina’s parents. A maternity swim top for myself. A cute carseat canopy to adorn her carseat. Easier stuff. But here is my wildly unreasonable, expensive list of wants and dreams in the world of babies and pregnancy and birth.

This turned into a SUPER long winded post, yikes!! Sorry not sorry, guys. It was fun to put together 🙂 What are the things you couldn’t live without when you had a baby? Or when you were pregnant or recovering? What are your musts?