It actually felt like spring today! And yesterday, I suppose. Yesterday was bike day, and today we actually made it to church!

I picked cute clothes out for the kids last night already so everything would go quicker this morning. Brady got showered and ready, and then he hung out with the kids through breakfast while I got myself ready. Its our usual Sunday morning routine. As per that usual routine, as I came downstairs, everyone seemed to be in a bit of a crazy rush, playfully running around half dressed while Brady was packing up the diaper bag. I fell into my usual role of wrangling the kids into the boys room and getting them all dressed. This is how it always goes. We’re always scattered and scrambling as we leave, barely making it to church on time. Today felt exactly the same!

Until we were loaded in the van 25 minutes early.

Sigh.

It was such a strange problem to have, haha! We were totally caught off guard, and then a bit stumped about what to do! It was definitely too early to go to church, but there wasn’t enough time to actually bring everyone back in after all the hubbub of buckling them into their seats and such. So instead, we aged about fifty years, and just drove to church reeeaaallyyyyy slowwwwwlyyyyy.

Obviously, we were nicely settled when everyone started making their way into church. It wasn’t bad 🙂 We lived. The kids were all super cute and well behaved. Except Solly. He was SO loud and SO wriggly and was just NOT wanting to be held. He wanted to jump and yodel. He wanted to play with his shoes but did NOT want to sit down to do it. He was just too busy for church today, haha! I ended up standing with him in the back for most of the service, which isn’t super conducive to being at church and listening, but I ended up chatting a little bit with a couple of other young moms from our church who I don’t often get a chance to visit with. I really enjoyed it 🙂

After church, we had my parents over for the day. We had waffles and fruit and breakfast sausage for lunch, and spent the afternoon playing cards and listening to the rain. It was really really nice. It felt like exactly what Sunday should feel like.

Of course, now, because its Sunday, and Sunday always wipes our kids out, I can hear everyone dissolving down in the living room. Its been a good, relaxed day, but Sunday routines (or lack there of) tend to tire everyone out really well. I know I’m tired as well.

Not bed time yet though! First the kids. Then squats. (gross) Then a soak. Then bed time.

Have a great night, everyone! I hope you have good long sleeps to bring in your weeks 🙂

In my mornings of research, I’ve been keeping an eye on a number of websites in hopes of finding bikes for Brady and I. Dekker has been begging to go for bike rides already, and we figured it was time we all got bikes so we could go as a group. Just about everything is more fun as a group 🙂

A couple of days ago, I finally found a bike that met Brady’s request. He had an idea in his head, and it appeared to not be the popular thing, because it was nowhere to be found, at least not without spending waaay too much money! He and I both wanted a cruiser bike, but that was particularly hard to find in mens bikes. But I found it! Finally! It was within our price range as well, so we decided to go out this morning and see if we could get Brady a bike, and myself as well.

Canadian Tire was the place, and I’m just going to say it right now. It had SO many bikes, but was SO poorly let up that I didn’t really know how to even start to look at them! Inside, there were tons of bikes, stacked at least three bikes high on the walls. You couldn’t really get a good look at anything up there, and it was all too full and messy and narrow to push a cart through. There was a line of bikes directly beyond he entrance door, so you couldn’t actually stand there and look without getting in the way of other customers trying to enter the store. There was a single line of bikes outside that we could actually look at, so we had to have an employee paged before we could finally pull out the bike we had come for so Brady could try it. Unfortunately, it didn’t have the option to switch gears, and the gear it was permanently set in was too high to bike slowly with little kids in tow. When we asked the employee if there were more mens cruiser bikes, he told us to go look on the wall inside. He was very uninterested in us and entirely unhelpful, so we left.

It was disappointing, but we decided to check Walmart next. They had some options online as well. Nothing as cool looking as the one at Canadian Tire, but still, options. And that was where we found Brady’s awesome new bike!!! He found a really great looking red mens cruiser. I just about opted for the ladies version of the same bike, but my mind was back at Canadian Tire on an entirely different bike. Rather than going back to where we had started, we went to a different location in hopes of finding a but more assistance. And we did!!! We managed to get me a beautiful new off-white and purple cruiser, as well as an adorable Solly-sized helmet.

But that was about where the success stopped. For the next 3+ hours, we tried to make sense of how we’d take everyone out for a bike ride. Firstly, Dekker has a bike that he can ride pretty well. But there are three others. We could get a bike trailer, and one extra seat on one of our bikes. Or two seats and a trailer. Three seats would be a hoot but probably not the smartest move. We don’t know! Everywhere we look is pretty expensive. The bike seats we’ve managed to find are on nice sales, which is great, but the trailers are just so pricey :/ We can do it, but we’d so much rather not. Guys, we looked everywhere. Today, we went into Walmart, three different Canadian Tire locations, Costco, and PBR Auctions. We called Peavy Mart and Once Upon a Child. I looked online at more sport stores but everything was even more expensive there. Kijiji had a few options but the ads I responded to didn’t write me back. We really tried, and in the end, we came home with two new beautiful bikes, a helmet, and no way to actually take the kids biking.

I’m somewhat disappointed, I won’t lie, but now my research will just shift, and I’ll keep my eyes open for trailers or seats or whatever else. As you guys all know, I’m not AT ALL opposed to second hand items, so feel free to give me a shout out if you see an amazing deal that you yourself aren’t snatching up! It’ll happen soon, I’m sure 🙂 Garage sale day is coming soon! I want to have our own garage sale, but at the same time, I’d rather be shopping. Priorities…

Brady was off work today, so we ducked into the city to get some groceries and to get Brady into chiro again. While he was in seeing Dr. Mike, I wrote on Facebook that I was getting antsy to get our deck permit, and that we’ve been waiting for three weeks. Within five minutes of writing that, Brady texted and said that the town office had just called and said they got our permit fast tracked, and it was available for pick up! I was SO thrilled.

To be fair, I still am, to a degree. I really really want a deck. Plus the permit covers our basement as well, so the work down there can continue.

However, the estimated cost of our permit was $100. And we paid over $300. I’m less than impressed.

Our permit estimated the cost of the deck and basement WAY too high. WAY too high. Like THOUSANDS of dollars more than it will actually cost. And apparently because of the amount they came up with, our permit cost WAY more than it would have otherwise.

Once we got home, Brady read through the permit and looked into appealing the cost. It says on it that we cannot appeal the cost of what we paid for the permit itself, and that if we want to appeal the actual permit in any way, its a $50 charge up front. We’re just a tad bit annoyed.

Brady called just to inquire with Municode, and they were insistent on their formula and how they got their figure. However, they encouraged Brady to keep all of our receipts and if we come in well under their expected cost, they’ll reevaluate and hopefully we’ll get a bit of money back from the town.

So. I’m miffed, but less miffed than I could be, I suppose. At least there is some hope we could get a tiny bit of money back. Also, I was worried about appealing and needed to put the whole shebang on hold, but thats not the case. So we’ll keep moving forward and getting excited! We’ll just be diligently hoarding our receipts all along the way 😉

Better call the pile digging guy! Hopefully he’s on board for setting us up next week!

Solly fevered a bit last week, but he’s in the clear for the moment. He actually slept almost a FULL 12 hours last night!! He fell asleep between 7:00-7:30pm, and lulled awake at 6:45 this morning. I gave him some milk and he slept until 10:00am. Its amazing how sleeping through the entire night is just SO much more restful! And it bodes well for him health-wise, too. Sleep always wins.

Rowan fevered earlier this week, just for Monday and Tuesday. It never really materialized into anything. Just a fever. Clearly the fight his body was putting up won whatever the battle was. I couldn’t be more thankful for that!

Dekker joined the club yesterday evening. He was pretty chilly throughout the afternoon, but that was it. He had a bath and just couldn’t warm up. So I snuggled him up in bed with me afterwards. I hugged him and he shivered while we watched Clifford on the laptop. He heated up fast, and not the kind of warm that snuggling in bed brings. Like HOT. But he was still shivering, poor dude. He was happy to go to bed. And he’s happy to be hone from school. I’m very thankful I’m able to be home with my kids. VERY. Its an opportunity I know not everyone has.

As a fun surprise, so no one feels left out, Laela is fevered this morning. When I went into her room, she was still cuddled up in her blankets, and right away told me she had a fever. And she was right. Not super hot, but enough to register on our thermometer. She’s such a trooper, though. You guys have seen enough pictures of her when she’s sick, looking completely unscathed. She’s basically a unicorn. Majestic and stuff.

So there’s that. Secretly, I’m pretty ok with sick days like this. Spirits are pretty good, but the general mood is pretty relaxed. Everyone sat at the table and coloured for a little while. While we were there, Laela was talking about her siblings and showing off that she remembered everyones middle names. She couldn’t remember Solly’s though, so Dekker helped her out.

Dekker: Its Solly-man, I mean Solomon Brady. I know another kid named Brady.
Laela: You doooo?
Dekker: Yup.
Me: Do we know another Brady? Maybe another Brady in our family?
Dekker: Nope. We don’t.
Me: We do, actually. Remember, daddy’s name is Brady.
Laela: *exaggerated gasp* It is?
Me: Yup. Daddy is a Brady.
Laela: And YOU are a Hailey!
Me: Thats right.
Laela: I want to be a Hailey, too.
Me: Well that is super sweet, Laela!
Laela: I want to be a Hailey mommy! With babies!
Dekker: I want to be a daddy!
Me: You guys are awesome. It would be so cool if you got to be mommies and daddies when you grow up!
Dekker: Well, maybe not me. Babies pull hair sometimes…

I love these kinds of chats I have with the kids. It just feels like a super chill day. Very low key. No one is hyper or riling anyone else up. No one is up in someone else’s space. Everyone is just talking and resting. I put Solly in his jumper and he’s sweetly mini-jumping, listening to the conversations. Its a good day in spite of the sickness.

I have such anticipation for the warmer seasons ahead. For the sun. For the deck. For shorts. For meals outside. For another healthy pregnancy, I hope. There is a lot to anticipate. But these silly snowy days are back, and my morning feels like a winter morning. As I’m thinking about it, my mornings recently look very similar to each other. It changes a little with Dekker going to school every other day, but save for that, here are FIVE constants in my mornings.

First, the basics.

My coffee. Every morning, I have coffee. Lattes are few and far between now :/ They just take too long. Every morning, Brady leaves me coffee in the pot. He makes enough for himself for work, and leaves enough for a nice big mug for me. I zap it in one of my three favorite mugs – the pineapple one, the owl one, and the new pink one from Edmonton. I never thought I’d be someone who microwaves their coffee, but its happened slowly, and its still yummy. Once its all warmed up, I add my double double creamer and my Bebefibre, because thats a thing, just blow past it. I LOVE this system that we’ve set up, and I truly don’t mind the warmed up coffee. Thanks, Brady, for making me coffee every morning <3

I can count on always wearing grey clothing. Hahaha! I don’t know what it is about grey but its just so much softer than any other color. Its not intentional, but come to think of it, I wear at least one grey thing every day. I’m currently wearing grey sweats, and a grey sweatshirt, with grey slippers. I was cold this morning. I’ll likely lose the slippers and switch into a tshirt later today. The one I wore super briefly yesterday I’ll probably wear again. You guessed it. Its grey. I know, I know. I look great.

There are some variations of my third constant. So perhaps its not a constant… You know what I mean.

Every morning, I end up doing some kind of research. I can’t call it “work” but its like focused researching time. Today, I’m continuing to get organized for a music set Brady and I are doing with a friend in a month or so. Beyond that, I’m doing some online price comparisons for a few things. Lots of tabs open on my laptop. Every single day, I think “Is it too early to start making lists for our summer vacation to the lake?” But the answer is still “yes,” so I’m holding off on that. So I plan other things, which works too.

Don’t worry, I’m not neglecting my kids. In fact, thats another one of my constants!

Solly is still sleeping, but sometimes he’s awake and playing in the living room. However, the other three are exactly where they always are at this point in the morning. Dekker and Laela are sitting at the island. Its loaded down with their toys, which isn’t allowed if there’s any food on the island. But this is their time to play up there. While they’re up on their stools, Rowan is currently being mischievous and playing in the pantry. I never really know what he does in there. I know he has Hot Wheels cars, and I can hear him clinking around int he crock pots and the rice cooker, but if I ever go stick my head in there, he says “Bye, mommy.” If I turn the light on, he asks “Off please.” Sooooo there’s that. But at least I know where they all are, right? We usually listen to music around now, too.

Its around this time that my fifth constant pops up. I only mention it on the blog or on Facebook once in a while, but pretty much everyday, someone brings up baby Theo. Questions range from asking why he died, when will we see him, does he miss us too, can we have another baby, etc. Today specifically, it was because of his ultrasound photo on the fridge. While the kids were sitting at the island, Laela commented on how much she loved the baby on the fridge. I looked over and asked if she meant the picture of our friends baby we have up there, but she said “No, the baby that was in your tummy.” Right. I told her I really loved him, too. We all agreed that we missed him very much. Both big kids said they wanted Theo to be here with us, and I reminded them where baby Theo actually is. I hope one day to have such a content peace about that like they do. I suppose I do have that peace, but I hope it won’t sting quite so sharply forever. Who am I kidding? It totally will, but I think thats ok.

So there you have it. A sneak peek into my mornings, and what I can always count on. Anyone is welcome to join in anytime 🙂 I may even brew fresh coffee.

Its not a secret that yesterday was a rough one for me. I had the wonderful opportunity to go out in the evening and play with makeup on a bunch of lovely ladies. It was both a great opportunity for me, and a great distraction after my heavy-hearted day. It was relaxed and fun and full of good food and good company. I am SO thankful I was invited to join in!

When I got home, Brady and I wasted a couple of hours chatting into the late late hours of the night. I really missed him over the weekend, so there was some catching up to do. We also shared a broken mama and papa cry over our little Theo. We haven’t had one of those in a long time. It felt good, and cleansing, somehow. We were up fairly late and I honestly don’t even remember falling asleep.

Solly’s sleep training is paying off more and more every night, and he didn’t lull until after 5:00am this morning. Brady changed his diaper and lay him back down, and he slept until around 7:30. So he had some milk while Dekker had his breakfast and then he fell back to sleep for about an hour or so. All of this said, it was a pretty restful night considering the late bedtime.

Now that the house is awake and the sun is shining in the windows, I’m feeling fresh and new. Not 100%, if we’re being completely honest, but significantly better. Today will be better than yesterday.

My first day back home with my beautiful kidlets hasn’t been as I anticipated or hoped it would be. I was awake around 4:30 until 7:30-ish when I dozed back off for another hour or so. I knew my body needed that extra chunk of sleep, but as often happens, it was filled with dreams. I wouldn’t call them bad dreams, or even especially unsettling, but I woke up grieving hard for the young life I lost in January. Like, hard. I had a cry on my own before going and getting my kids up for the day.

I have missed my little munchkins, and I love them desperately. I have struggled with them today, though. It appears they have turned their ears off to their mama since she left on Friday, and my sad, heavy heart is just not handling it well. I’m not losing it or anything, I promise, but I am feeling so sad. Just plain sad. Its hard to keep rolling when you’re sad.

I should be entering my third trimester of pregnancy right about now. But I’m not. I don’t get that baby. I won’t even have a baby this year. This is all just particularly hard to swallow today.

But. There is always a “but.” This one is important! I promise, I haven’t ever forgotten it, either. I am still that little boy’s mom. Along with being his mom, I am also a mom to the four little loves I have here at home. They are mine. Even above that, they all belong to God, which is even better than belonging to me. I am vastly imperfect, and I’m particularly lower on the perfection scale today, for lots of reasons, but God is perfect and we are ALL His. And in that, there is freedom.

I’m so thankful for all I have and everyone I have. For my husband who listened to me sob all of my hormones out on the phone. For my kids, who are so soft and sweet to each other 99% of the time, and who try so so hard. For my mom, who is heading over to be with me and provide some hugs and a soft place to fall. For my God, who is caring for Theo, and who understands my imperfections and grief without thinking I’m a crazy person. I have a pretty incredible bunch on my support team, and I know there are more members who I’m not mentioning this time around.

I have everything I need.

My first day back home with my beautiful kidlets hasn’t been as I anticipated or hoped it would be. I was awake around 4:30 until 7:30-ish when I dozed back off for another hour or so. I knew my body needed that extra chunk of sleep, but as often happens, it was filled with dreams. I wouldn’t call them bad dreams, or even especially unsettling, but I woke up grieving hard for the young life I lost in January. Like, hard. I had a cry on my own before going and getting my kids up for the day.

I have missed my little munchkins, and I love them desperately. I have struggled with them today, though. It appears they have turned their ears off to their mama since she left on Friday, and my sad, heavy heart is just not handling it well. I’m not losing it or anything, I promise, but I am feeling so sad. Just plain sad. Its hard to keep rolling when you’re sad.

I should be entering my third trimester of pregnancy right about now. But I’m not. I don’t get that baby. I won’t even have a baby this year. This is all just particularly hard to swallow today.

But. There is always a “but.” This one is important! I promise, I haven’t ever forgotten it, either. I am still that little boy’s mom. Along with being his mom, I am also a mom to the four little loves I have here at home. They are mine. Even above that, they all belong to God, which is even better than belonging to me. I am vastly imperfect, and I’m particularly lower on the perfection scale today, for lots of reasons, but God is perfect and we are ALL His. And in that, there is freedom.

I’m so thankful for all I have and everyone I have. For my husband who listened to me sob all of my hormones out on the phone. For my kids, who are so soft and sweet to each other 99% of the time, and who try so so hard. For my mom, who is heading over to be with me and provide some hugs and a soft place to fall. For my God, who is caring for Theo, and who understands my imperfections and grief without thinking I’m a crazy person. I have a pretty incredible bunch on my support team, and I know there are more members who I’m not mentioning this time around.

I have everything I need.

Jerilee and I have arrived safely back at our humble homes this evening! While we had a FABULOUS girls weekend away, I think we are both very happy to be home. I have missed my family so very much this weekend, and it was wonderful to see them all this evening before the kids before bed. They were full of hugs and kisses and soft snuggles. They were a deliciously warm welcome.

The snow, though. Guys. I knew snow was in the forecast for this weekend, but in my earlier research, it was supposed to snow on Saturday. Which it did. We were out in it, and were very much aware of it. But apparently it kept coming down, and by the morning, the vehicles were covered with a thick layer of wet, heavy snow. Being unprepared as we were, I wandered around until I found someone heading back to the hotel after starting his truck, and petitioned him to share his snow brush, which he agreed to. Once that crisis was averted, we headed to Ikea.

First thing was first. I had some parts to return from a dresser we bought back in Calgary. Brady had called ahead and Ikea has agreed to swap things out, free of charge. So we left the parts at the returns desk and wandered through the store. It went quicker than usual, which was strange, but also not. Jerilee and I were both super tired, haha! And besides that, we weren’t in the market for a bunch of super expensive furniture. We knew which areas we wanted to look over and specifically shop in. So we did that, and picked up a few things in the warehouse before checking out. We didn’t do too much damage in there at all, which I was impressed with. Then, we ducked back to returned, grabbed the new pieces, and headed to the car.

We were both chilled and tired, so we drove to the nearby Olive Garden right during the lunch rush, and were magically seated immediately in a booth. We ate our fill of that delicious chicken gnocchi soup and breadsticks. Seriously, I know Olive Garden is normal everywhere, but we don’t have one in Saskatoon, and that soup is ridiculous. And in SO good!! Potato balls are the way to be. But once lunch was done, we paid our super tiny bills and were on our way home.

It was a good drive. Fairly quiet. We were so tired. And the weather really could have been better, if we’re being honest, but we made it safely home. Anytime the snow wants to end, that would be great. While I’ve been busy and shopping all weekend, the impending deck plan is still utmost in my mind! We CANNOT build a deck in the snow!!

All in all, I had such a special, enjoyable girls trip away this weekend. I got to spend some quality catch-up time with Jerilee. I got to shop for myself and my family. I did a peel-off charcoal mask. I bought some new makeup. I drank my favorite sangria. I hot tubbed. I rested. I ate tropical chicken pizza, satisfying a craving I have had since I got pregnant with Theo those months ago. I was welcomed home by my favorite little folks, and my favoritest big folk. Brady worked all weekend to make me a present. My mom even sent me some cinnamon rolls to eat for a late supper. I am SO grateful for all that I have and who I have. What a wonderful weekend, and a wonderful reception.

Now, I’m going to have a soak. Its good to be home.

We slept in until around 8:00ish this morning and took our time getting up and awake. We wandered out in search of our continental breakfast around 9:00 and were met with a room bursting with people. There is a cheerleading competition nearby this weekend and it seems we have EVERYONE involved in it staying at the same hotel, haha! So it’s FULL and BUSY. We opted to get our food and drinks, and go have breakfast back in our room. Everything worked out pretty well, except I have to say that the coffee was peculiar. It was super weak, but like, weak like I have never experienced. I’m not one who requires my coffee to taste light jet fuel or anything crazy like that, but it tasted like milk and water with a teeny bit of dirt mixed in. Like it taked like nothing. It wasn’t even especially bad or offensive, but it definitely wasn’t good. It was just odd… 

Our first shop stop was Indigo, though, so we grabbed some Starbucks there. A HUGE loving shoutout goes to my husband who has diligently kept my Starbucks app filled to the brim so Jerilee and I can drink all the coffee we desire. ❤️ Much appreciated. We did a bit of wandering there, but soon ventured into the belly of south common.

I won’t bore you with a specific play by play, but it was a successful shop!! My BEST win was at Spring, so if you need Spring, do it NOW!! We wandered in and out of a handful of places, but as we went from store to store, it got colder and wetter and finally it got quite snowy. It is so strange to be out in snow at this point in the season, though I’m really not surprised. I decided to be thankful rather that it wasn’t blowing and awful and cold. It felt to me like, once the snow started, the cold and wind kind of gave up, and we just walked in the big slow-falling flakes. I don’t care for winter in April (or ever) but it wasn’t altogether miserable. Perhaps even minimally enjoyable. Like I didn’t hate it, ok? Ok, moving on.

We ate lunch a little late, shopping a bit more, and headed back to the hotel early. With the cheer competition going on, the whole pool and hot tub area was SLAMMED full all evening yesterday, and we didn’t get to soak our sore shopping feet like we had hoped to. But in the late afternoon, early evening, we could! We figured the competition would potentially still be ongoing, or that maybe normal people (unlike ourselves) would be eating supper. We were right!! It did fill up after a while, but we had a good solid hour of being fairly antisocial and splash-free. Can’t complain about that! 

Now, we rest. Because we’re old. We’ll venture out for a supper of appies soon!! But it might be a while. We’ve got time. No agenda when its just a girls weekend!