Kim and I planned to meet for coffee this morning. She had a dental appointment, and figured she’d shop a little bit afterwards, so I invited myself along for coffee and a shop. Of course, my fabulous son FINALLY slept thru the night, and with that, our guaranteed alarm system did NOT go off. So Brady and I woke up about five minutes before I was hoping to leave. He woke me, threw on the lights, and being the rockstar that he is, he rushed upstairs to start the van for me while I scrambled into (yesterdays) clothes and dug a purse out of a rubbermaid tub.

Miraculously, I arrived at the mall right around when I expected to! Kim beat me there, but I knew she would. We grabbed some Starbucks drinks and each snagged a yummy breakfast treat before we found some cozy chairs to settle into for a while. We ended up doing a quick little gift exchange, even! I hadn’t gotten her her Christmas gift yet, and she had recently bought me a BEAUTIFUL coral mug from Starbucks that I’ve been whining about for the last couple of weeks, wanting it so much but not being able to justify spending the money on it. I love you, Kim. Coral mug or not 😉 Once we had finished our coffees and treats, the mall had opened, and we began a slow meander through the stores.

I’ve been working pretty hard not to shop, but we wandered into a store that has this cheap pair of boots that I’ve been eyeing since before Christmas. With it being halfway through winter, and being a SUPER cheap store, I went to check their price, and they were on for 2/$30, which is amazing!! They only had two pairs left, and they fit! I went to the front and asked if they would sell me the one pair for $15 instead. I’ve learned that some places will do this for you if you only ask! So I asked, and she said no. So I asked what the sale price was if I were to just buy the one pair. Her answer? $45. UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I was ticked, and left them there. We did some more walking and a little bit more shopping, but mostly just visiting and catching back up. Its been sooooo long! I did end up buying some crackers and such for Rowan, as he’s running out of a few of his staple snacks. I also bought a foundation (mine is juuust about gone) and I found a little pink glittery nail polish by the brand “Layla Cosmetics!” Go figure, right? Anyway, I thought it would be a cute Valentine’s Day gift for Laela, and the fact that it was a cheap little clearance product helped too.

Our date did have to end at some point, so I drove Kim to her vehicle and we said goodbye. Hopefully we’ll play date next week again. No more of this “once a month” garbage. I picked up some Tims for the hubs and I, and headed home to my family. It was nice to see them after being away for a little break. Fresh eyes. Everyone appreciates everyone more.

It was a great morning <3

We’ve had a weird system out here that we are working desperately to get out of. It seems like we all do ok one day, and the next day we go a little crazy. I don’t just mean like stir crazy, cabin feverish. I mean crazy. The kids are incredibly off their game, complaining and picking fights all day, and I struggle to keep my temper with them and react calmly all day. Its a challenge, obviously. Then Brady gets home to us, and he tries SO HARD to be that breath of fresh air for us, but its obvious that he’s tired and sore and entering a stressful situation, so he definitely has to try to work thru that all as well. Its been an interesting few weeks, and I really really hope we get out of our funk soon.

That being said, today was an “off” day. Granted, we were out and about and the kids loved the outing, but every time we would return to the van, or I’d call them on something small, they would MELT DOWN. My gosh, it was so tough. When we got home, they fought and fought. Each other, us, everything was a fight. I sat at the table and had to ride Laela to eat every single bite. As in I think she maybe took her first three bites of supper willingly. The rest of them, I had to talk her sternly through. It just wasn’t their day.

In the evening, we decided to all haul downstairs and watch a bit of tv. We haven’t watched much tv since we got here, and I’ve been curious to see how that will go. I think part of their transition has been figuring that out as well. Our kids don’t specifically watch much tv, but its often on in the background. They rarely pay attention to it, but they’re used to the background noise, and the ability to use the tv to zone and rest once in a while. So right now, tv is special. They were so excited to go watch something before bed, but as soon as it was on, they were running circles, running back up and down the stairs, being super loud, playing, and as usual, not paying attention to it whatsoever! Haha! I don’t know whats so golden about that background noise, but its apparently enough to make everyone’s day!

Then it was time to start getting ready for bed and everyone – you guessed it – melted down. So they were tucked away nice and early 🙂 Now, a delicious supper for Brady and I awaits, and some hot tub time, hopefully! I anticipate a gentle wind down after a big day, and a fun morning coffee date tomorrow with my girl, Kim, whom I haven’t seen in a MONTH! Insane. And not ok. Never again. I hope to never ever be this busy and stressed out ever again.

** Lastly, on the note of being super stressed out, you know those awful mouth sores you get when your stress level is through the roof? Well they’re completely new to me, and they HURT!!!! Whats the cure, guys?? Just salt water and/or scope rinses? Anything else? They need to leeeeeave!

I’ve been anticipating today after our exciting news yesterday. We really wanted to take the kids out for supper in celebration of finding out the baby’s gender, and all of the excitement to come. Firstly, however, we needed to visit Dr. Mike.

Neither Brady or I have seen Dr. Mike since around Christmas, and we both really really needed to. Brady went first and cracked like crazy. He said he felt amazing immediately afterwards, and still does. I told him how much worse my leg has been, and that I’m at a total loss with it. He did my treatment, paying special attention to that blasted leg, and then we talked about more that I can do to help myself out. Yes, I do still plan to seek out a physiotherapist, but in the meantime, I’m so thankful he had exercises and advice for me! I have to say, I’m not exactly looking enormously pregnant yet. Definitely some, but nothing too crazy. However, my centre of gravity is waaay off already!!! I wants me to do squats, and he made me do them until I got them perfect. Let me tell you, not only am I mildly self conscious squatting directly beside a man who is there to critique me, but also, I’m wildly out of shape, and squatting ten times before getting it right took the wind out of me!! But he assured me that squats are one good way to strengthen some muscles that “need some fixing up,” as he so politely put it. Basically, I’m out of shape. I’m allowed to be, but its doing me in. I hope they work for me. He also mentioned that I need to “sit actively.” I understand this, definitely, but its like someone saying I should never ever relax. Ever. I don’t love the idea of actively sitting for the next 20 weeks, but I guess thats what I’ve got! I’ll do whatever needs to be done if it means I can still be walking at the end of the day. All in all, I had a super informative appointment, and am pretty sore now. Serves me right for waiting so long in between appointments. Especially when we moved and I was quite so bad off! My bad, my bad.

Once we were done at Dr. Mikes, we headed to Montana’s for supper. Kids eat free on Tuesdays! We ate SO MUCH! It was so delicious! We usually just eat get our meal, but we treated ourselves to a started of fried pickles, which were unbelievable, as always. Brady got his burger, I got my pasta, Deks and Laela got their grilled cheese and fries, and Rowan got the baby plate of mashed potatoes and broccoli, which he loved. It was delicious and successful and really, really nice. It was a good day to celebrate 😀

The big ones were a little bit sad when they had to go to bed, but we made it fun and they recovered and did fine. Rowan is SO ready for bed, but he’s actually taking his milk really well right now, mostly because he’s practically sleeping through it, so we’re feeding him as much as possible!! And then to the hot tub!! To rest our achy selves, and just to relax. Because its nice.

And tomorrow will be nice too 🙂

I really enjoyed how many people offered up their guesses on our baby’s gender! It was fun hearing people’s reasoning, whether they had any or not, and just to see people participate in something that is so exciting for Brady and I and our family!! In case you didn’t tally it up yourself, twice as many people were guessing girls than who were guessing boys. Like it was pretty much exactly 2-1. For the first while, it was pretty evenly split down the middle, but it didn’t last long. Thanks for playing, either way.

I drank my water and lemonade all within good time, and I wasn’t miserable or even super uncomfortable while I waited for my name to be called at the clinic. We hauled our little crew back there, and our tech began taking her pictures and measurements and such. I’ll be honest and say that our tech was possibly the most impersonal one we’ve ever had in our journey to have babies, so while she took pictures for 5-10 minutes, she showed us the baby for less than two. It was very very quick, and without any detail whatsoever. I don’t know if baby is measuring to date, or what the heart rate was even. It was strange. She asked us right in the beginning if we’d want to know the gender, and we said if at all possible, yes, we would love to. Our short tour of the baby did not include the goods, however. The moment she had showed us head to feet, she shut everything down. I asked “So was the baby’s gender not visible today?” And she answered back to me,

“The baby is a boy.”

Eeeeek!!!

She exited soon after, and our little family celebrated and mulled and talked about it on our own for a minute or two. Dekker’s first question was “Whats his name?” while Laela just impatiently asked “Baby come? Baby come?” Rowan flapped. We are SO thrilled with our news, regardless of how it was delivered. She didn’t have to care, lol! But we sure do!!!

She brought a radiologist back with her, and he wanted to do a quick double check on a few things he hadn’t liked the pictures of so much, but upon his seeing things firsthand, he confirmed that all looked well after all, and I agreed with him that its always smart to double check. I wasn’t panicked. He is fine. HE.

We were sent on our way, and had hoped to do something a little bit celebratory. We’ve recently learned that Fuddruckers is having a “kids eat free” event, so we thought maybe we’d hit that up, but one of the bunch was NOT feeling it, helping the rest of us quickly realize that today was not the day for it. Maybe tomorrow, we decided. Instead, we made a quick stop at Walmart for a thing or two, and we got some yummy sugar cookies that were covered in blue icing and sprinkles for a treat.

Supper was chicken fingers and french fries, though Brady and I switched it up a bit and had poutine. Once the meal was over, we explained our plan to the kids. We said we were going to eat a cookie and watch ONE episode of tv, then come back up, tidy toys and go to bed. All of this needed to be done without complaining. And you know what? They did pretty darn good! They were sad when the episode was over, but they tidied like champs without any whining.

They LOVED their cookies, and I’m fairly certain they are going to love their new brother even more than a delicious sugar cookie. At least I hope so!!!

We cannot wait to get our next little bundle into our home, and into our arms. Well, we can wait for him, but we eagerly anticipate him!!!!

Little boy, your family loves you so much already!

How in the world is it already time for my 20 week anatomy scan??? It is amazing to me how fast time has gone this pregnancy, but it sure helps a lot when so many other things are going on! Seven weeks ago, our house sold. Seven weeks. Almost. Its been pretty much super insane since then. I remember announcing our pregnancy and the sale of our house in the same post. And now, here we are, suddenly, ready to see that growing baby in my womb again!!!

So my question to YOU is “pink or blue?” Oh hey, I rhymed! Go me!

To compare pregnancies, its probably been the closest to Dekker’s, but with that unbelievable leg pain that is new. Not new new. I’ve had it in all of my pregnancies, but its by far the most severe its ever been, and come on the fastest. I was only nauseousish (thats a really hard word to say) for about nine weeks, and even then, it was a pretty gentle morning sickness. I’ve been dizzy, same as always, and considerably LESS snacky. The one big difference from this pregnancy is that I have SO MANY ZITS! Its common for me to break out pretty significantly in the first trimester while my hormones rage and get accustomed to their new little parasitic friend, but I have never had it like this. I don’t want to pain too vile of a mental picture, but they are not only in clusters on my face and under my chin, but they are all over my shoulders, chest, and down my back. They are SO GROSS. This, however, is likely partly thanks to my stress level as well. In fact, a decent amount of my symptoms could be related to our current situation, and the last month or so, but I can’t know anything for sure. I’m sure both aspects of our life play a role.

To compare a few other little facts, baby’s heart rate has always been around 150 bpm, and my uterus is measuring pretty much exactly to date. My bump is really quite small still, as in you might not notice it if you weren’t looking directly for it, so I’m guessing I’m carrying a bit further back. Those are really all of the details I know about this bean!!

The last thing I’ll put out there for the sake of guesses is my guess! I’m saying its a boy. That was my immediate thought the day I found out I was pregnant, and while I’ve felt a bit wishy washy about it recently, I’m sticking with it. I’m guessing a third blue baby.

I would LOVE for anyone and everyone to wager a guess, just for fun, because I will know TOMORROW already!!! How crazy is that?!?! I really really hope baby shows us the goods. Above all, I OF COURSE hope baby’s bill of health is clean as a whistle, but there is less of a game there, which is why I’m focusing my post more on the gender. I know the higher goal is health and wellness. Eek! I can’t wait!!!

So guess already!!! What do you think we’re having? What will baby four turn out to be?!

We had a few goals for today. Not many, but some. We wanted to get a good chunk of our stuff organized and settled so that I would then feel settled during the week. We also thought an outing would be useful, since we could really use a Costco run. We had plans.

Our morning really got away on us, however, so we made the kids lunch and continued along with our plans of what we’d accomplish in the afternoon. By the time lunch was done, it was well after 1:00, and we learned that it is absolutely freezing out today!! The kind of day where the vehicle never ever warms up, the kids are cold all day long, and running in and out of stores would likely be fun for no one. So we abandoned all plans, and since it was too late to nap Dekker or Laela, we put Ro down and settled in for a restful afternoon in the theatre room. We watched some tv and cuddled on the couches and the kids made their way up and down the stairs with toys and such.

Weirdly, the day left me completely lethargic. I was hoping for a reprieve, and rest, and renewed joy. Instead, I feel sick and grumpy and surprised that I feel worse rather than better. Its not been the day I’ expected it to be.

But then there is the family. Rowan has perfected the army crawl and doesn’t seem too terribly interested in conventional crawling. He is, however, rocking the polar bear crawl, and is working hard to pull up on things. So he is rocking my socks. Laela came to visit me at one point in the day when I was having a little rest time on my own. She climbed up beside me, leaned her head on me, and just asked “Mommy ‘kay?” I love her sensitivity. I sat beside Dekker at supper today. I usually sit by Rowan and feed him, but Brady offered to feed him today, so I sat by Dekker, and throughout the meal, he would reach over to me and just stroke my arm with my macaroni hands. I loved that. He would just offer me a sweet little smile, and hold my arm while he ate. Part of me is SO SAD that they know so much, and that they’re observing me such a wreck. But they are being loving, and they are learning from it, so I’m only beating myself up a little bit, I guess.

After supper, I was sitting on the kitchen floor, and Brady came to sit with me. He brought his guitar, and we sang a few songs together, which we haven’t done in such a long time! Then we sang a few of the kids favorite songs for them before heading off to bedtime routine. It was a really really nice time, honestly.

I hid in Dekkers bed while Brady helped them get their teeth brushed, and it was really funny to listen to them scour the house to find me to say goodnight. They finally figured it out and we all had a really good snuggle in bed. I like that my kids are all getting big enough that I don’t have to be as careful with them. I can roll out of Dekker’s bed completely overtop of him without hurting him at all, and I can toss Laela completely on top of him without anyone crying. Its fun. I felt good leaving their room tonight. It was uplifting, and no one was crying. It was nice.

I know its completely frozen outside, but I’m thinking I need a hot tub break this evening. Its so cold inside, my nose is cold to the touch. Brrrrr! So the hot tub will only heat us up, and give our room a chance to warm up with the space heater. And then a snack and off to bed. We’ll spend tomorrow with my mom, which is ALWAYS a treat. I love her. There is a lot to look forward to, for sure.

Sleep well.

This is the latest I have put a post up in such a long time!! But as I’ve said in the past, blame it on good company 🙂 we were lucky enough to have Hailey over for the evening! We had a delicious supper, if I do say so myself, of apricot chicken on rice, which even the kids liked! They usually prefer their rice “just white” but Laela actually had two helpings of the rice with chicken. Dekker ate the one serving of rice and chicken, said he really liked it, but requested his plain rice for his next helping. No problem for me, though. I was happy he ate the one serving so happily. 

Once the kids were in bed, the three of us suited up and spent a nice long time in the hot tub. It was sooo relaxing!! We came inside all a little overheated but we sat in the living room in our swim stuff and cooled off for a while. Coffee and dessert was served and we all got into comfy clothes. It was so relaxed. 

And just like that, it was sooo late! But I love when visits go so long. Makes me feel like our guests are comfortable, no matter where we’re living. Thanks for the wonderful visit, Hailey. We love you so very much! 💜 

Now off to bed for a little bit of Netflix and sleep. Please sleep for us, Rowan. That cough is deadly. 

I am INCREDIBLY fortunate to have the support system that I have. I know that everyone does not have the loving and supportive family and friends that I have. My emergency task force has saved my butt time after time in the last couple of weeks. They can diffuse any situation.

Brady leads it. He has arrived him within fifteen minutes of me waking up the last two mornings. Waking up in a total panic both mornings, I texted him, obviously upset, and he didn’t delay in coming over and helping me. No, I’m not just fragile and a mess. Ok, I am that, but I was actually legitimately scared of something, not just emotional. He talks me down and keeps me positive and hauls boxes around and tidies up and puts kids to bed on his own on nights like tonight when I’ve just had enough. He wins. Always.

Second in command is my mom. She comes over and seems to find the ideal balance between visiting and helping me relax a bit, and getting some work done. I feel weird when people come over just to work, while its a lovely gesture and very appreciated. I’d rather have some conversation and some sanity brought into my house. My mom gets that. Today, she came over in the mid-morning. We had a lovely morning and lunch together, and she brought the kids a couple of new little toys to keep them busier. When lunch was done and the kids were playing, she helped me do up all of my dishes, and she flattened and put away all of the boxes that had been unpacked and were just sitting in a huge pile. And that was PERFECT! Because I got some visiting in, I felt a bit more normal, I got my kitchen cleaned up, and I have a lot more space in my living room. What a relief!!

Now I don’t like to lump people, but I’m going to say the rest of the team is my friends. You all know who you are. In varying capacities, you guys all save my butt, time after time. You play with my kids so I can rest. You text me and make sure I’m ok. You bring me coffee. You let me vent and weep. You even go as far as to buy me gifts to help pick up my mood! You guys rock. The team captains are pretty strong, but they need a team behind them or they’re carrying too much weight. Yes, it is true, they are doing a lot of the legwork. But just a simple message being sent my way helps me feel normal, and like I’m allowed to talk and share and maaaybe even whine a little.

I appreciate every single member of my emergency task force. Thank you for taking the time to diffuse bombs and negotiate with me and talk me off of my ledge. Everything you do, I appreciate. I couldn’t be getting through this time without all of you.

<3

I’m not sure, but today felt harder than usual with the kids. I have compassion for them, as I can tell they’re still struggling hard to figure this whole thing out. We’re all struggling to a degree, but the kids are less capable of expressing it, and they know less in the way of coping mechanisms. In a lot of ways, they are taking everything like complete rockstars. But in other ways, we’re grasping at straws. The days are long.

Thankfully, Jerilee came for the evening!!! She fits into our family SO well. When I headed into the kitchen to get some supper together, she sat on the floor and played with the kids. I heard her countless times call the kids back to her, keeping them away from the kitchen in order to give me a break. She would gently shush them when they would get super duper loud, and she entertained them and managed to visit with me at the same time. I love you, Jerilee. Thank you for coming into our home and loving my kids so well, even when we’re all basketcases.

I prepared the not-so-gourmet supper of pizza buns, and I’ve got to say, they were incredibly delicious! They are the old fashioned, more camp style kind, with the mix of pepperoni and cheese and sauce all stirred up and plopped on top, and just broiled enough to melt and not fall apart. They were SO good! The kids went back and forth between not liking them and then suddenly loving them. I think they were mostly hesitant because they were new, but they were yummy! Just a bit messy, which isn’t popular for them. But Jerilee, Brady, and I thought they were super yummy, so win!!

The kids went to bed at their normal time, which is always hard for them when we have company, but they were just not doing well 🙁 It had to be done. And then Brady drove for coffee, came home, and we all watched – you guessed it – The Bachelor!! It was SO relaxing, and comfy in our theatre room! It felt really nice to just wind down and watch some tv with a friend. I hope we can do that much much more often now that we live closer.

Now, to sleep. Even when I’m sleeping decently well these days, my eyes are permanently rimmed red, and I am COVERED in zits. One day I WILL catch up, but likely not for quite some time. And thats ok. We are in one of the busiest times of life right now, and there isn’t a slowing down point in sight! Good thing sooooo much is positive!! 😀

Its nice to be able to post on here about prenatal appointments again. Though its been a different pregnancy for appointments this time around. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but in case you missed it or you forget, my doctor is now teaching student doctors. I have ZERO disrespect for people learning, and my doctor is THE BEST, so it makes great sense why she is teaching others. But its been hard for me. I’ve missed her. We see the same student doctor every time, and she is very lovely. We like her a lot. But its hard to move past our history with Dr. Guselle. She knows us. I don’t have to recap very much with her. But our student doctor is new, and I feel like I have to fill her in more. Either way, I’m very thankful to have health care, and to at least know Dr. Guselle is still following our pregnancy.

Today, however, our student doctor wasn’t scheduled in. She’s on holidays or something like that, I forget what exactly, but we knew this when we booked this appointment before Christmas. However, Brady and I had been wondering if we’d see another student doctor, or just our doctor. And lo and behold, we were SO thrilled when we got to see Dr. Guselle completely on her own today 😀 Again, no slam on students and teaching and all of that important stuff. It was just such a treat to see our favorite doctor again, like it used to be.

She is exactly the same. Still the best, still incredibly loving and incredibly fast paced. She interacts with the kids, and asks lots of questions. I love her.

It was perfect that we got to see her today, because I had a few more things to run past her than usual. She confirmed that I was in fact allowed to be using the hot tub the way I have been, and she okayed the new reflux medication that I started over the last few days. We touched base a bit on my delivery, even though its still quite a ways away, but its always nice to know we’re on the same page with it. She found the babys heartbeat right away, and made a point to show Laela, whose face was practically in the gel, she was so interested! I even put on some weight finally. She NEVER talks to me about weight gain, because as long as I’m healthy and the baby is doing well, its not a priority, but she mentioned that she was happy to see that I’d gained something anyway. How could I not?? It was just Christmas!!! But seriously, I was happy to see it too. I’m measuring exactly where I should be, and everything is looking and sounding right.

Except this darn leg. I’m at such a loss with it. Dr. Mike is definitely able to fix it, but I need more help. I just do. I described what was going on to Dr. Guselle in more detail than I ever have, and she just had this lovely look of compassion about her. She told me that it might not go away completely until after delivery, but that it wasn’t necessary to be quite so miserable for the next 20 weeks. She encouraged me to seek our prenatal physio, and I think that is where I will go next. She said they might have more information about how I can help myself be in the best shape, rather than just relying on treatments. I think she’s right.

On the way out, she offered the kids stickers. Dekker lead her to the front desk where he knows the stickers are, and Laela followed closely behind. She got down on the ground with them and showed them some options. Dekker sniped the first Hot Wheels sticker he saw, and Laela squealed “Lala peenk!” Dr Guselle laughed and confirmed that she had asked for pink, and then gave her a pink on pink Barbie one, who Laela immediately deemed to be Auntie Caity. Everyone was happy when they left. It was SUCH a good appointment.

I’ve always left my appointments with Dr. Guselle feeling lighter than when I arrived. She just has that warmth about her. Seriously, read her reviews. She is the best family medicine has to offer. Its been different the last while, just because we are primarily receiving our care from someone else. But today, I got to feel that lift again, and it was such a relief to know she’s still around and caring for us.

Next week we have our anatomy scan!!!!! That always feels like it takes forever to get here, but with Christmas and the move in our recent past, time has positively wailed by! I can’t believe I’m already so far along!! And I don’t see time slowing down much at all 🙂