In case it isn’t glaringly obvious, it is a very busy time of year. Christmas completely on its own is usually busy for most people. There is shopping, baking, decorating, planning, cooking, wrapping gifts, travelling, family gatherings, going to see Santa, multiple church services, elf on a shelf, and MANY other things that occupy time during the season. Some have more, some have less, to each their own.

Then you add life. In our case, general life business includes (going for basics here) Bradys work and running that business, our three kids, maintaining a home and two vehicles, just to name a few. Yes, they are life necessities, I’m certainly not complaining at all, but I don’t think anyone would disagree that it is busy. Add to it the baby who  still REFUSES to eat, and its all a little bit overwhelming.

And then we add in the CRAZY. In our case, we’re moving! We will be out of our place and hopefully safely tucked away somewhere new in less than a month. Brady is booked unreasonably solidly until the 24th, so he can fit very little else into a day. We desperately need to rearrange our storage unit, but we lose access to that every evening at 5:00, and there is NO way Brady can make it before then, much less an hour or two before then. So that will have to wait for the new year. With that waiting for the new year, it would be silly to keep filling it with packing boxes, only to have him pull them out and have to fuss with fifty-odd more boxes than are already in there. So likely that will wait until the new year as well. I’m pretty sure our saving grace here is that we have about a week to go from one home to another, but it feels very irresponsible and ill-planned to leave the bulk of the move until that week!!! However, some things just have to roll, and its looking like the move is just going to have to wait. Yikes!

In the day, I’m trying to keep up with everything else. I’m making cookies, or at least the dough. I’m planning music for church. I’m wrapping gifts (when I’m stressed and unable to sleep at 1:00am.) I’m entertaining the kids. I’m trying to make some homemade gifts (that have all failed wildly so far.)

It feels strange having to pick between important things, such as the entire Christmas season, and the move we’ve been anticipating for so long. However, I feel like I’ve struck a bit of a balance. Ok, I’m pretty sure its actually all in my head, but its helping me feel better. I really like to blitz tasks. Start to finish in one sitting makes me feel accomplished. And I just don’t think that is going to be the case this time around. I’ll hopefully finish my Christmas shopping tomorrow with Kim, which feels really late to me, but I’m still really happy to be able to get away and get it done at all! When I get home, I’ll be able to have all of the gifts on hand, and I can finish wrapping the second half in one sitting. I’ll probably bake less than I had anticipated this year, but I did start with the baking that takes a bit more fuss, so I think the easy stuff is last, which is perfect! I think I’ve got a handle on a good amount of Christmas stuff, and what doesn’t get done in time just won’t get done, and I think I’m ok with that. As for the move, I don’t think I can do too terribly much without knowing a bit more about our rental, so I have a few places in the house I can pack up and stack the boxes somewhere, but I’m not too anxious about that. I think a lot of the move will just be transferring daily life stuff (clothing, food, toiletries) over to the new place, and the bulk of the rest will be moving the furniture. I’m sure I’ll be amazed when the day actually comes, but I don’t think there will be TOO terribly much to actually pack. *knocks on wood*

So my balance isn’t so much of a balance but more of an acceptance that its just a different kind of year out here. I’m not sure we’ll ever have a Christmas quite like this one again, but I like to think (and secretly hope) that they’ll all still be crazy in their own way. And I’m pretty sure I’m right. With a family this size and growing, we’re guaranteed some kind of hubbub.

I remember when we first had Dekker, and I had these moments where I was afraid to try and raise him. I very quickly learned that I was mores o just clueless on how to discipline. I’ll always admit that I do most things FAR from perfectly, but I think that kind of stuff is just a mystery until you start. You can’t learn how to properly discipline before you know the kid who needs discipline. Anyway, its been an interesting road, and I like to think I have at least a semblance of control over my kids. At least thats what I tell myself 😉

Today, I asked Laela to do something, and she flat out refused. We don’t see too much of that around here, so I immediately got on her that she needed to do what I said, and she needed to do it FAST. And she stood in front of me, tears running down her face, screaming “NO!” Sooooo needless to say, she got punished.

Post-punishment, she was VERY sad. When she was allowed back to her toys, she rushed over and completed the task I had originally asked her to do. Seconds later, she had collapsed into a heap of tears on the floor. I told her she had done a good job, and had listened and learned, and that I was very happy with her, but she couldn’t catch her breath! Finally, between shrucks, she managed the word  “up.” I scooped her up and hugged her to me. She was totally unmoving.

We sat like that for quite some time, but once the dryer had buzzed obnoxiously three times, and I could hear Rowans talking upstairs in his bed escalating to very real crying, I knew I had to let her go. She started to cry immediately. I explained to her that I was going to go switch the laundry, and then go get Rowan, and I would come back as soon as I could and sit with her again. She said “ya” and I plunked her in our spot on the chair.

When I had retrieved Rowan and switched the loads of laundry, I headed back to my chair, and Laela was all scrunched over to one side. She patted the seat beside her and said her little “mmmmm mommy.” If you’ve talked to her, you know her sweet little “mmm.” I sat beside her, and she leaned her head on my arm, deflated. My discipline had really taken the wind out of her. Or so I thought, until just seconds later, she sighed, and said “Happy.” It caught me completely off guard. I asked her if she had said what I thought she had said, and she responded “Happy! Mommy happy?”

I find discipline to be easily one of the hardest parts of parenting, yet I love these moments so much. How is it that my kid can be so misbehaved in one moment, get is SUCH big trouble, and so soon after, all we want to do is snuggle?! There is certainly no love lost between my little Laela and I, I can guarantee you that! She knows how much I love her, even when I have to teach her about consequences and making wrong choices.

After a REALLY good kissyfest with the kidlets in the kitchen after supper, everyone is tucked away for the night. Brady got home quite late, compared to our usual routine, so we’ll eat together soon, and hopefully hit the hay early.

Yesterday was a spectacular day. Getting our rental somewhat lined up is a huge weight off of my shoulders, and lots of exciting things are in the works over here. Christmas is coming, we’re seeing family and friends already, we’re starting to pack and plan for the new year.

And then Satan tried to take my joy. Yesterday evening was quite awful, for lots of reasons. I was VERY worked up, to a point where I was unable to focus on anything really. I worked SO hard not to lose my joy, but sometimes its hard to stand back up. I’m sure lots of you can relate. It was just a rough evening, but it hit hard. Because of the evening, I had a really hard time winding down and getting to bed, which made for a pretty rough night on Brady. Rowan wasn’t exactly a rockstar last night, and I was so very dead to the world. I would offer to change Rowan’s diaper and seconds later, I’d wake up, and Brady would be feeding him. I was just unable to physically wake up and be helpful. I was completely shot. It was interesting, to say the least.

This morning, we all slept in. The kids got their nice late breakfast going, and I texted Kim to confirm our playdate and invite them over. Brady headed in to work a short day, and I waited for our guests to arrive.

We had a great day together, with all of the kids. They played really well together, ate really well, and Kim and I had to intervene very little, which always feels extra successful. When they left, I had a really lovely chat on the phone with my mom. I love her. She really met a need for me today, actually. However, when I hung up, I found my kids to be completely in shambles. Everyone was fighting or yelling or struggling in some way. Rowan had only just fallen asleep and I had to wake him, so I was very unpopular according to everyone here at home. And Brady worked a pretty long day, so he wasn’t even on his way home yet. I feared for another horrid evening.

BUT. I’m trying really really hard to choose sunshine. Positivity. It has to be a choice for me at this point, because I am drained. There are such exciting highs around here, and then really difficult, low lows. Its quite exhausting, lol! I can tell its wearing on the kids too, in a pretty noticeable way. I want it to be a good time though. I’m hoping very much for a better nights sleep tonight, and a really good jumping off point for tomorrow 😀 Because while I am trying pretty hard to choose sunshine, I want to encourage my kids to do the same. We can have low times, but nothing and no one has the power to take our joy away without our permission.

So. Sunshine. I choose it. Keep your grey away.

While Brady and I feel very peaceful about whats gone on regarding the sale of our house, and our next steps, there has definitely been a bit of apprehension as we wait and see where we’ll end up renting and what will happen next. As God tends to have it, we have a GREAT lead on a rental that would really be more than we ever really expected. Nothing is in stone, of course, since we can’t sign anything official for another week or two, but its coming. We want the place, and the renters want us. It is really quite amazing, and exciting, and would be a completely different experience for us! So we hope and pray that this option stays open for us, but in all honesty, I’m not sure how or why it would close at this point.

After the phone conversation this morning that confirmed all of these things, we have been feeling really really great. Its only one thing somewhat figured out, but it gives us a good direction to move in. We now know what we need to pack, what we need to store in our container, what we need to ask for help storing, and what can come with us. As things look like they will work out, our timeline will be fantastic, and the actual move shouldn’t be too terribly stressful at all. Brady and I are both feeling VERY excited for this next stage of our life, and the fact that its coming soon is pretty wonderful. I don’t think we’re going to be feeling bored or stagnant, yet I don’t feel too terribly overwhelmed about the month ahead either. Granted, there is a lot to do, but I think Brady and I will just start getting at least one thing done every evening after the kids go to sleep. Either that will happen and we’ll get on a roll, or we’ll finish our one thing while dragging our feet, and call it for the night. I predict some of both scenarios playing out, and thats ok. Today alone has lifted SO much stress. Bring it on, December. I am ready.

So many factors played into my great day today 😀 It was so amazing how many things seemed to line up as well as they did. Almost unbelievable!!

For starters, Ro slept through the night!! It doesn’t happen too often, but goodness me, when it does, I feel fantastic!! I woke to him silently talking around 8:00am. It was glorious. I gave him his medicine and he then drank a full bottle without complaint. Dekker and Laela were SO giggly when I went into their room to get them shortly thereafter, and the mood stuck. It seemed like everyone had just slept well and felt good.

The day was smooth. I’ve been feeling really crampy recently, and while I’ve always been decently crampy when I’m pregnant, these cramps are a bit different and I’m keeping a very sharp eye on them. But I can say that I didn’t feel any cramps or discomfort all morning or afternoon! The kids played very well with each other and I barely had to remind them to be polite to each other or play nicely. They just did it. When I put Rowan down for his nap, the kids tidied up all of the instruments from around the basement and stayed very quiet. Its actually a really cute system they have set up without any guidance from me. They just know to be quiet when the baby sleeps, so all the noisy things get loaded into the spare room.

Today was also exciting, as I thought more about the inevitable move and how our 2016 is looking. We have a lead on a potential rental situation that would be pretty much perfect, so we pray as we pursue it that is it where we are meant to be in our uncertain interim between homelessness and being in our ideal home. Ok, that was dramatic. Don’t worry, I’m just being animated.

Exciting days, exciting times! Prayerful days, prayerful times.

It was a lot of fun to tell our church all of our exciting news today. I stood up during the time that people often share their news, good and bad, and ask for prayer. I told everyone we had finally sold our house, and everyone cheered us on. It felt really really amazing, because I know there are people in the group who have been praying for us. I told them that our goal was to be starting our build in six months at the latest, and I then told them that we would be expecting our fourth child right around then. It was met with the same reaction as the first bit of news 🙂 I can safely speak for my family when I say we felt very loved and celebrated. It was so lovely to have such a good sized group excited for our family to grow, and to be closer. We also hope that, by spreading the news, we’ll have a bit more of a hope that someone will have an idea of where we can rest our heads for the upcoming months while we wait for our home.

We spent the afternoon mostly at home with my parents, but enjoyed a tea date with some friends from WAY back in the day. I don’t think we’ve seen them in around six years, and it was really really nice to catch up for a bit today. But for the most part, we hung out at my parents while the kids got their fill of grandma and grandpa. Its been a while since they’ve spent a day there, and now its all decorated for Christmas and very exciting. We ate incredibly yummy food (Brady and I both overeat there at every visit) and the company wasn’t half bad either 😉 It was a truly lovely Sunday.

Tomorrow is unscheduled (yay!) but I think Brady will work a shorter day than the last little while, so it’ll be really nice to see him sooner than usual. Maybe we’ll actually get to all of the many things we have to do this week! Wrapping gifts, baking, packing, researching, etc. Lots and lots and lots to do! At least its all exciting stuff 🙂

Rowan hit a very exciting milestone today! He started army crawling!!! Dekker never even legitimately crawled with his legs, if I remember correctly. He just dragged himself around with his arms. Laela started with army crawling and moved up to speedy knee crawling in no time. Rowan has been exercising his muscles for a while already, working on his “hands and knees” stance, rocking back and forth, doing the classy ground-humping move that we all know and love. So Brady and I have suspected that crawling isn’t too far off. Just a day or two ago, we watched him stand in his crawling position and agreed that Rowan would be crawling before Christmas. Now, lo and behold, he started today!

This is certainly not the deepest of posts, but mostly just a ridiculous thought I had. Maybe all of you have had this thought. Brady figures I’m unoriginal. I think I’m hysterically witty. I think army crawling has nothing to do with the army, and much more to do with the limbs used for the crawling. As opposed to a leggy crawl. Get it?? I know, its spectacular. You don’t have to clap.

Besides Rowan’s mad army crawling morning (I think of it every time I say it now…) we spent the afternoon at Kim’s celebrating her youngest son’s first birthday! It was, as usual, a lovely time spent with her family and friends. I’ve now met all of her siblings, most of their kids, her parents, her inlaws, and lots of their friends. It was a lot of fun, and the kids did great! We hit up the city for some groceries afterwards and got home late, but the kids are all in bed, and Brady and I are winding down for the evening. It doesn’t feel like there is more weekend to come, but tomorrow is another work-free day, and I’m SO excited for it.

But first, sleep for everyone. Its been a lovely, full, fabulous day <3

You wouldn’t think I, as a mother of three small children, would ever be sitting down twiddling my thumbs. But the last few days I’ve found to be incredibly long. Not in a bad way really, but there is so much anticipation in my life, I hardly know what to do with it!! December is a big month whether you’re moving, or pregnant, or single, or in school, or working, or living at home, or whatever! Its a big, busy, bustling, fabulous month, right? But obviously, we have some extra factors. Here is why I feel like a sitting duck.

1. We are out of our house first thing in the new year, and since that all just happened, we don’t have our next dwelling lined up. We knew this would be the case, and are ready for the challenge. I’m certainly not complaining! I’m very excited to start packing boxes, and preparing to move. But here’s the thing. We don’t know if we’re going to be able to rent, or if we’ll end up maybe house sitting for a bit. In one of those scenarios, we’ll just move our stuff over. But in another, we will need to rearrange our entire storage container to fit our furniture. So if I start packing boxes and sending 10-15 to the city with Brady every day, and then we find out we need to also fit our furniture in there, that will make for WAY more legwork to unpack and repack and container. So I don’t want to pack up a ton of boxes when they have nowhere to go. I could stack them up and wait, and I may end up doing that, but the only places to really line them up are right by our Christmas tree (which would be ugly) or downstairs in a spare room, which I feel would be a huge hassle when its time to haul them upstairs and take them out. Am I making sense? So I know this big move is coming, but I feel like I cannot prepare for it at all.
2. I’ve tried to move past the annoyance of my first point, and try to find other practical ways to occupy my time. I thought I could start wrapping gifts. But I always have kids with me! At least one, Dekker, who is old enough to know whats going on. So I can’t wrap his gifts, and I don’t want him to know what everyone is getting because he’ll tell! Therefore, gift wrapping with Dekker is sort of out. Again, I might just bite the bullet and do it anyway if I’m stuck in “sitting duck mode” for too much longer, but its not ideal.
3. One task I know is coming and I would LOVE to take care of is addressing envelopes for our Christmas cards. However, I ordered 5x7s, and they’re coming with envelopes. So I have wait to wait for them to arrive before I can even start. So that one obviously has to wait.
4. How many of you are thinking, “Ummm, do your Christmas baking??” I know, guys, I know. Without being too terribly dramatic, the kids have been incredibly testing the last two days, and I am quite dead on my feet. It is not the time to bring them into the kitchen with me and try to create things with them. They are SO argumentative these days and I’m just good to not bake with them. I really do enjoy baking with them, and they’re usually really great helpers! But today is sooo not the day for it.

So I’ve been feeling a bit stir crazy the last few days, not knowing quite what to do with things or what to do next. I spent the morning making a few lists, just to feel better about myself. I’ve chosen which treats I’d like to make, what things I can start boxing that we for sure won’t need this month, what we can leave behind, and all of the places I need to call to change our address. I’m not sure what else I can do while I just sit and wait for things to happen!! I’d appreciate any and all further ideas <3 Tis NOT the season to be anxious and bored, thats for sure! Bring on the jollies and joyousness!

I know this post won’t appeal to some people, and thats totally fine, but I also know there are some of you who, like me, love to follow a pregnancy. With all of the ups and downs, it at least appears mildly more interesting than some other things 😉 Regardless, I thought I’d recap the last little while for you who like pregnant talk.

I found out I was pregnant at the end of September. I was quite late on my cycle, but had taken a number of baby tests and they had all shown up negative. I decided to stop watching everything so close, and likely I’d just finally get my period when it was time and we could move on. A friend convinced me to take a test on the 25th, and lo and behold, there it was. That fabulous plus sign that so many of us wait for.

I don’t usually tell Brady in any extravagant way that we’re expecting, but one similarity is that I always give him a ring. He now has three thin silver rings, each one bearing our kids name on the outside, but quietly telling him we’re pregnant again on the inside. I always give him the appropriate ring when I tell him. This time around, I had Dekker bring it to him when he got home. I WISH the video wasn’t such a big file, and that I could load it on here, but these stills will have to do.

I felt great for the week or two following, though VERY tired. We had an early ultrasound, and found the baby to be another week smaller than we thought. (There’s a bit more to that story that I’m happy to share, but not on the internet at this point. Feel free to ask 🙂 ) So we changed our due date from May 30 to June 7 and called it good.

It was shortly after that when I felt quite sick. I would still say my sickness with Laela was by far the worst, but this is the first pregnancy I’ve had that has actually made me throw up. I had to be extremely careful what I ate, I had to force myself to eat and drink, to be honest. And I slept a ton.

There were lots of factors that have played into this tho. Since I got pregnant, I’ve been potty training Dekker, dealing with selling the house, having offers fall through on that, and discovering Rowans silent reflux. Its been a bit of a ride, and as soon as I gave in and started going to bed much earlier than usual, the majority of my sickness lifted.

So down to the doctor stuff. Its is a different set up for me this time around. My doctor ha switched clinics and is now training student doctors. I don’t see her as much at all, except for the last few minutes of the appointment, but I do see our student doctor, Jasmine. I’ll admit that I’m a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. Jasmine is great, and I know I’m still being followed by Dr. Guselle, but I do miss her exquisite care, and how comfortable I was with her. Its like I didn’t even have to explain anything to her anymore. She just knew us. But I have all the respect in the world for people learning, and Dr. Guselle is the best, and a fabulous example to her students. Its all ok, its just an adjustment.

I was lucky enough to hear the baby’s heartbeat just around 12 weeks. It was strong and in the 150-160s. The baby even gave the doppler a good kick before swimming off into the uterine abyss. I felt so much comfort in that. Whew!

Other than having morning sickness earlier in the game, I’m feeling pretty good. I’m really dizzy, as I usually am, but its a weird delayed light headedness. I’ll get up from sitting/lying down, and I’ll give myself a minute to get my bearings before walking away, but within 15-30 seconds, I have to sit down wherever I am, even if its in the middle of the stairs while holding Rowan. So its not an ideal circumstance but its not new either. Just something to watch. Also, I managed to lose 6-8 pounds in the first trimester. NO, I didn’t try to AT ALL. I was sick, its part of it. I just share that because I would normally share what I had gained. So far, nada. But I’m at a reasonable starting weight and I’m feeling nice and healthy and hungry again, so all is well in the belly department.

The biggest, most notable thing I want to share, though, is that Brady and I are in the best headspace we’ve ever been in during a pregnancy. Its just been different. I think he and I are just in a way better place then we’ve been in, and it is just a great time to be alive and to be having another little life join our crew. We couldn’t be more thrilled <3

WOW! Thank you so much, all of you who commented on and liked yesterdays post <3 My heart sure felt full, and it continues to. This feels like the craziest time of our life, just with things timing out this way, but I remember that we were getting ready to list our house when I was very pregnant with Rowan, and thinking the exact same thing. “We’re insane to be painting our entire upstairs while I’m 37 weeks along! This is the craziest thing we’ll ever do while I’m pregnant!” Wrong. We will do much crazier, I’m sure. And that is fine 🙂 Plant your gardens wherever you are, right guys?

I’m planning on doing some backup posts soon, and tell you guys more about the process of getting this place sold, as well as some more details on the pregnancy. But today, I FINALLY got to have Jerilee over for the first time since Laela’s birthday party, which was October 24th, I believe. So WAY too long ago. So my visit with Jerilee took vast priority over getting to blogging early enough to plan out my post before writing it, and taking lots of time. So maybe tomorrow I’ll recap a bit, but tonight was about catching up with a friend, eating good food, and chatting some more.

However, as things tend to go these days, we all tired out at a pretty decent time, and Jerilee headed home right around 9:00. Bradys just making his lunch now before we cuddle in and fall asleep nice and early. If you haven’t noticed in my last few weeks, I’ve been SO fatigued, we’ve become accustomed to going to bed much earlier than we used to. One week, I think we were asleep before 10:00pm at least three times. We are pooped, haha! But its so nice to get so much sleep. Happy bodies, for sure.

Ok, I’m just too sleepy to write more, and my nose is cold. Oh how I love winter. Off to bed to cozy in for the night! I hope you all sleep well!