This morning started a bit rocky for me, and I planned to write a post about how positively smitten I am with each child I have been blessed with. Instead, I decided that I don’t have to prove anything to anyone but myself, and changed my attitude, so I could share positivity with aforementioned children.

Spontaneously, a Facebook post by a friend indicated that she was nearing the point of tearing her hair out, so I invited her out for the day. It was SO NICE to have someone to talk to in the day, plus, she brought kids for my kids to play with! As usual, Dekker took a while to warm up, so for quite a while, I had both Dekker and Laela laying across me lap or sitting beside me on the couch while the others played. I heart my antisocial kids, lol! Then finally picked up a bit, and it was a riot of laughter, screeching, and not even too much scrapping!! It was a lot of fun to have so much activity in one place. SO thankful for our AC unit, whew! That was a sweaty sweaty place!

Halfway through the afternoon, Hailey and her kids left for home, and Brady arrived maybe a half hour later. He settled in and we fed the kids and played a bit before our evening played out! Jerilee came for our weekly Bachelorette date. We’re great hosts, so we waited until the kids went down before serving our guest and ourselves a supper of nachos and wings. Bad hosts or not, it was delicious. The Bachelorette was, of course, trashy and addictive, but always good for a laugh and a face palm.

Now, Jerilee is on her way home and we’re settling in for the night. I’m loving how much I have going on this week in the way of seeing friends and socializing. I haven’t felt terribly cabin fevery recently, and thats something I’ve struggled with in the last year or so. I’m so very thankful for my friends and family.

I’m a bit disappointed that Brady has to work tomorrow, if I’m being honest. We often don’t know about stat holidays, because when you’re self employed, they don’t really mean too much. You work if there’s work. And thats ok. I’m very happy he has so much work!! I just love his company as well <3

I’m not sure if its the smoke from Northern Saskatchewan or just a case of the Mondays, but my poor family is really feeling something today! Laela has been decently level, but the boys are nuts. Ro slept almost all morning, and was awake for less than an hour before I had to really really work for him to stop crying. It didn’t work well. Dekker has just been struggling with expressing himself and having a super grouchy attitude, and it seems to really just be one thing after another, all day long.

But then, it was nap time. I put them down at 1:00. It is now 3:53 and no one has moved. No one. I’m sure we’ll have a heck of a time getting them down at night, but this is SO worth it. With all the attitude and tears this morning, I was feeling pretty fragile, so I’m pretty confident I need this rest too. Its been blissful.

I know I will be feeling 110% more upbeat when the naps are over, and I sure hope they’re feeling better too 🙂

This will just be a shorty post today. Hope thats ok with you guys, but I want to do as little as possible while my house is quiet. Ssshhh! Don’t wake the babies!

Today was a good but big day. We had no naps, and we were definitely feeling it. SO! I’m opting for a photo post 🙂 That usually just highlights all the positive points of the day anyway. Yay! Positivity!!!

So after putting this post together, I feel like laughing. The kids were in rare form today, and I’ll be the first to honestly admit that it was a trying one for me. Yet they were all of my high points in the day 🙂 Its a good reminder for me, anyway, to look back and take note of whats really important. Today, it was smiling in selfies with my kids.

I know this isn’t the most riveting post for everyone to read, but…*drumroll*…I’ve been blogging for THREE YEARS!

In the last years, I’ve announced a pregnancy, and given birth to my third child. I started on the crazy ride that is my hair, and I FINALLY confessed my secret love of makeup, pretty things, and bring creative that way. I’ve taken a ton of picture, and had some really beautiful (in my opinion, anyway) maternity pictures taken of me as well. I’ve tossed up a ton of questions about parenting, and I’ve flown by the seat of my sweatpants a lot! Our house has gone up for sale, and Brady’s business continues to thrive.

This last year, we went through some really hard stuff with Dekker, and I am thrilled that I can say we are on our way up! He doesn’t break out screaming when strangers speak to him. Rather, he makes faces and jokes around. He plays well with other kids. He is so helpful with his siblings, and always walks Laela to and from the van, hand in hand. Also, this year, he got new glasses and I finally gave up and had his hair cut short. He is a new boy from where he was a year ago!

I have FINALLY come out of the traumatic experience of Laela’s birth, and can now enjoy my little girl to the absolute fullest capacity! In the last year, she has learned to crawl, eat, walk, talk some, make funny faces, and follow a surprising amount of direction. She also dances, twirls her hair, helps with laundry, brings her cutlery to the sink, and tries to get dressed. She brings anything soft over for Rowan to cuddle with, and consoles him when he cries. She and I also have inside jokes, which I never imagined happening. Turns out a lot can happen in a year!

And obviously, Rowan has changed A LOT in the last year, haha! This time a year ago, I’m not sure we even knew we were pregnant! We had maybe just found out. Therefore, he went from our apple seed baby to the chunky little man he is now, at just over four months old. He is working his butt off to roll over but that tubby belly is holding him back just a tad. He adores his siblings, and has never once cried when Dekkers hugs get too tight, or Laela clocks him trying to share. He has a big funny wide grin, and has a really tickly chest. He is incredibly bubbly and jolly. Its been a good year anticipating him, and finally getting him in my arms. With him came a lot of that healing I was talking about before. He has been a huge part of this year!

Funny how recapping the kids pretty much sums it up. The main thing in my life with Brady this year has been the pregnancy. Also, getting the house on the market (anyone want to buy our house? Seriously, anyone??) and maintaining his business. Everything on top of those thing and the kids is just gravy <3

It feels like I just wrote the post announcing two years of blogging! This year has been wonderful, and has gone by quickly. Hopefully it can keep moving! Thanks, once again, for all the support. It wouldn’t be half as much fun without you!

Straight up, I was so tired this morning. Rowan has been sleeping in the last little while, but this morning he started to lull around 5:45. While we certainly didn’t get him right away as he dosed in and out, no one slept deep afterwards. We had plans for the zoo, but we were tired.

Bradys parents left after breakfast, and Dekker was in an awful mood. We waited an hour. It did not improve. We had plans to go to the zoo, but we were grouchy.

We decided not to go to the zoo after all. We were all tired and grumpy and the weather was super unpredictable. And then Dekker grew up.

You’re tired of my attitude, mommy?
Yes, I am. I wish you would stop complaining and be happy.
Ok, mommy. I’m happy now! See me change my attitude?!

And no word of a lie, he did. My son was back to his happy, peppy self. That alone was eye opening. It really is our choice to choose to be happy. Go Dekker!! So we got everyone dressed and ready to go, packed snacks and not even close to enough weather appropriate clothing, and got out the door before noon. Tried to take a family picture first. It was pretty hilarious. I love this picture <3

We picked up some lunch on the way to the zoo and everyone was happy. When we got to the zoo, they got sad. Dekker wanted to sit in the stroller, and of course, there is no room for him in it. So he had to walk. Utter. Devastation. But he remembered that we upgraded his Happy Meal to include a smoothie this time, so he recovered quickly. Laela was pretty tired so she was easy, but floppy and a bit argumentative. “Are we going to have so much fun, Laela?” “Noooo.” Perfect. Rowan was chill, but with the RAIN that started as soon as we arrived, he kept getting dripped on, and it seemed to distract from his sleep. So we weren’t doing the absolute best we could have done, but we were making it.

We dropped off our Food Bank donations in leu of the usual admission fee, and headed in. At our first exhibit, we ran into a friend from Bible school, which was a treat. I’m not sure the last time I saw her, and now she has three kids! We had just a short visit before we kept moving and they headed home. We hit up the deer next. Dekker was completely mesmerized by the kids getting feed out of the vending machine and feeding the deer, and I was very surprised when he asked if he could try. I’ve known this is an option at the zoo, but my cautious little boy had NEVER expressed interest in actually feeding the deer before. I was so unprepared 🙁 Only one quarter to my name (or in the diaper bag, I guess). But I grabbed it and got a handful of feed, and we waited our turn. I gave Dekker some of it and lifted him up the fence so he could put his hand through. He immediately got nervous and started saying “No sanks! No sanks!” and dumped his handful. I kept him up with me, but I fed the deer what I had left. He really liked that. He still had some stuck to his sticky little hand, so I brought it through the fence, gently shushing his consistent “No sanks”. The deer came and nibbled the feed, and was off to the next kid.

And Dekker was THRILLED! He talked about it for the rest of the day!

“That reindeer came and munched on my hands, and my fingers a little bit. Its ok, he was really soft.”

The next big event was the ducks. Again, there was a vending machine offering feed, but we had used our quarter! Thankfully, a woman had just given a small handful of feed to her daughter, and offered Dekker the rest! He was too shy, but I took it and we went to the pond to try to entice the ducks over to us. We had a good classic kid moment when Dekker asked really loudly if the ducks were naked. How do you even answer that? The other family laughed, though, so I didn’t feel quite as awkward. Anyway, the ducks wouldn’t come, but the geese started moving in. Dekker muttered quietly “Those big ducks are comin’…” so we moved away and watched them eat the feed we had left on a big flat rock. That counted, I think.

We made our way through the zoo and saw lots of the animals, but it was really, really muggy out, and everyone was fading. So we left after probably just over an hour.

I stopped by Michaels on the way home and fed my addiction…

And then we drove home. The kids slept. It was so nice and quiet.

The van nap wasn’t quite enough to last the kids through the evening, and everyone was pretty on edge. So we got the kids in comfy clothes and watched Disney’s Robin Hood together. Supper was chicken strips, salad, and watermelon, which is the perfect meal for us when everyone is exhausted. We’re snackers over here, and that meal just felt better.

Now, everyone is tucked away, and I’m 21 videos behind in my YouTube feed!!!!! Priorities, guys. But I’m going to go catch up on that a bit before settling in 🙂 I hope you guys had just as good of a day as we did.

It was definitely the best day for Dekker to change his attitude!

This morning was SO strange! All of the kids slept in way later than usual, so I did too, and it was awesome. When Rowan did wake up, he lay in his bed and cooed for quite some time. He never got worked up, and was just full of smiles when he saw me. It was refreshing! I thought for sure one of those pesky teeth had finally surfaced, but nope. Just a happy boy, regardless.

I took Ro to get Dekker and Laela, and they both seemed happy too. Laela, however, was a bit quieter than usual. Usually, she is SO excited to see Rowan and is squealing and and practically scratching at her crib to see him just a liiiiittle bit closer! But not today. She was pretty serene. So I picked her up and she just flopped on my shoulder. And out of nowhere, I could feel her little body retching. I thought maybe she was just burping a bit, but she kept going. So I quickly carried her over to the garbage can. She stood by it a bit, retching over and over, but she never threw up. She was so weak, and didn’t seem to be able to stand up well, so she plunked down on my lap and we waited a little bit longer. Not being able to sit there forever, we eventually did diaper changes and got on the with the day. She was really hungry and thirsty, and she did great afterwards, but everyone once in a while, I caught her retching!! She was extra cuddly for sure, but very pleasant and didn’t seem any sicker than she has over the last week or so, but something was going on in that delicate little body of hers.

The day was weird for schedules and such, for whatever reason, but everyone was generally happy. Best of all, when the kids woke up from their nap, Bradys parents had come! So it was exciting to have grandma and grandpa around for an evening. They brought pizza and presents and were a captive audience for Dekker to show off in front of. Because of that, going to bed was very hard, but they got to stay up a bit later than usual as it was.

Once the babes were down, we drank coffee and ate strawberries and visited until everyone faded away for the night. Now we’re tucking in, which is hilariously early, but nice 🙂 We’ll see Bradys parents a bit more in the morning, and then HOPEFULLY we’ll be off to the zoo in the afternoon!!!!! Please, weather, be good to us!

This morning, Brady informed me via text that he had forgotten his wallet at home again. We really needed a few grocery items, being that my parents were coming for supper tonight, and his parents tomorrow night. But life happens, we all forget, thats fine. So I got the kids ready to go and we headed into the city. I have to say, I was mildly passive aggressive about the whole thing, but not too ticked. I like my kids, they do great on outings now, so I figured it would be nice on its own to just be out together. We were just going to do Walmart, anyway, and the kids love Walmart.

I know you’re all probably expecting a story about how horrendous the shop was, and all the meltdowns that the kids had. But they didn’t melt down. Not once! Rowan sat quietly, wide awake in his car seat the entire time, even when I really messed around with his positioning. Turns out we have to get creative when buying tubs with three kids attached to one cart.

Laela sat incredibly beautifully and quietly the entire time as well. Looking back on the whole experience, I barely even remember her presence. I know that sounds awful, but she really was just quiet and user friendly.

Dekker walked alongside the cart, or rode on the end. He was eager to carry products I planned to purchase until I pulled another thing off of a shelf, when he’d switch off and carry the new one. He was polite when people would talk to him, and followed what I’d ask of him. Seriously, perfect group.

We got just about everything on our list, plus a few extras, of course, and then lined up. The woman in front of me in line was so very polite to place her one item at the very back of the conveyer belt so there was no way I could unload my stuff in any advance. When there was finally room, I unloaded and looked for my wallet.

It was in the diaper bag.

Where was that?

In the van.

Perfect.

I know I’m not the absolute very first person to do this, but I’m not sure its a common thread either. I told the cashierI was in a bit of a predicament, and to my relief, her eyes seemed to light up a bit. She seemed entertained. So I told her I forgot my wallet in our van, and she almost seemed disappointed.

“Well, thats ok” she said.

Huh. Ok, great that she wasn’t put off. So I asked if it were still possible to kind of hold onto my order and I’d run out with the kids, grab my wallet, and come back. She got all shiny and excited again and said “I’ll even watch the kids for you, free of charge.”

So this could be the part where you guys all completely judge me, but I decided to take her up on it! I knew Dekker wouldn’t do it, but I thought the others would likely be fine. I thought Laela might get upset, but she recovers much quicker and easier. So I quickly observed my kids – Rowan was bright red, holding his breath, taking a dump (perfect), and Laela was sitting there so innocently, full of smiles and empty of cares. I said “bye” to her, and she waved like a maniac, squealing “Byyyyyeeeee!” So I grabbed Dekkers hand and we bolted.

Deks could barely move by the time we got out to the van. I made it a big game of “runrunrunrunrun!” but I really did drag him and make him run the entire way. When we got to the van, I rifled through the diaper bag and realized the unthinkable. No wallet. *face palm* Awesome. So I sheepishly grabbed Bradys wallet that I was going to bring to him, and ran in to pay. More “runrunrunrunrun!”

When I arrived back at our till, it was as though no one had even missed us. The cashier said they hadn’t fussed once! I paid for our stuff as the people in line kind of chuckled at me. One woman offered up “Oh, we’ve all been there,” to which I couldn’t help but respond “Really, though? Have you?” They just laughed at me and suggested I didn’t tell my husband. Funny ladies. This was way too awful/awkward/entertaining of a story not to share!

I got the kids back to the van alive, finally, and put Dekker and Laela inside. I went to carry Rowans bucket seat to the other side when I saw Laela playfully chuck a ball out the door. Because I didn’t look insane enough already, here I was, chasing a hot pink ball through the parking lot. Because I already didn’t appear to be able to handle my kids, my cart full of purchases was rolling away.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Strangely enough, though, I have to say that my cashier was a HUGE help to me. I think its a big gift that she offered to keep an eye on my kids. What if they were terrors and wailed the whole time? She understood, and wanted to make it easier for me. I SO appreciated her. Of all the crazy parts of the day, I didn’t feel too wildly out of control. Woohoo for a weirdly successful day!!

*Side note. My wallet was in the console. The. Entire. Time. I guess we’ll just chalk this all up to life experience!

I try really hard not to live filled with worry, but sometimes, things come up. You guys know I’ve been struggling with a few things recently, but today, I feel quite a bit better 🙂 Not about everything, or even half of the things, but about a very important thing. My son, Dekker.

I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself, thinking he HAS to be doing or knowing certain things by this age, or he HAS to get into preschool, and we HAVE to be in a certain place to get him there, and blah blah blah. If you don’t know, my lovely friend Jerilee is a teacher, and I had mentioned to her a couple of days ago that I was stressed out and wanted to talk to her in person about it. And believe it or not, she calmed my nerves COMPLETELY! I’ve worried that Dekker is behind sometimes, and it turns out that lots of kids I’m around are actually further ahead of where they’re expected to be upon entering kindergarten, so maybe Dekker isn’t QUITE as far ahead, but he’s right where he should be 🙂 Through our discussion, I realized how my mindset needs to change, even just on a more surface level. We’ve struggled a bit with Dekker and his fears. His shy nature turned fearful after his eye surgery, and its been a very long road coming out of that. I was thinking he HAD to get into preschool if I had any hope of him being able to socialize with kids in kindergarten. I was never hellbent on my kids going to preschool, but I thought it would be a GREAT benefit specifically for Deks. But in the last few months, my boy has grown. He likes other kids, and doing activities with them. He is great at sharing with kids that aren’t his siblings, haha! He remembers names and learns so fast! He would thrive at preschool, but he would no longer crash and burn without it. Its a choice, not a necessity.

All of this being said, I think he’d have a total hoot at preschool, and if we can get him there, we will. BUT I feel the pressure has lifted, and it is less detrimental that he attend. That alone has lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders.

You, Jerilee, are a gem. Thank you for your wisdom and experience in the world of kids. You know so much more than me, and for that I am TRULY GRATEFUL!

I was still feeling pretty bummed this morning, but I didn’t want to let it get to me. Thankfully, the kids were adorable and decently agreeable. I mean, Rowan is struggling with the cold we all have/had, and he’s working pretty hard on his bottom teeth, so he’s got his reasons, thats for sure. But really, the kids were pretty user friendly today. I was able to do dishes and visit with them while they ate, and that took up a decent amount of time.

As the afternoon wore on, I realized I had been chewing away at my nails, unbeknownst to me, and had done quite a number on them :/ I have always been a nail biter, but I’ve gotten better over the years, and have had it pretty under control specifically since Rowan’s birth. But my goodness, I have a few rough ones now 🙁 They already ache so much with that very specific ache that only nail biters can understand. It hurts to type this, I’ll tell you that.

So while the kids played, I fooled around with some crocheting I’m fiddling with and a pattern I’m tweaking. Not only do I like crocheting already, but it kept my hands busy so I wasn’t chewing away at my poor fingers. I also texted a friend of mine, who was able to calm me down a bit and talk me off a ledge. Its funny, as she is a brand new friend, but she was very understanding and encouraging. I don’t know if you read this, considering I’ve known you for less than a week, lol, but if you do, you know who you are 🙂 Much appreciated.

That lovely friend of mine has ordered me to basically go drown my sorrows in chocolate or something equally as delicious. I’m thinking nachos wish salsa and sour cream, and chocolate. Thats following the rules, right? Sounds right to me!

Before I get into talking about todays festivities, I’ll say first that I was really discouraged earlier in the day. A few things have come to light, and I’m scared we won’t get to move 🙁 Not everything turned out to be as bad as I originally thought, but it is evident that we are no longer just in the waiting game, but also having to jump through a few flaming hoops. Nothing worth waiting for is ever easy, right? Ugh. Can it just be this once, though? That all being said, I kicked off Fathers Day with a big embarrassing emotional breakdown in my parents kitchen.

Things looked up a little bit afterwards, and we rocked our Fathers Day plans. Instead of outings or gifts, my mom and I opted to spend good money on good food!! We planned everything out so we didn’t really have to start doing anything until shortly after 4:00. All of the kids napped at the same time, and my dad took a nap as well, so Brady, my mom, and I played cards all afternoon until we headed for the kitchen.

I won’t keep you in suspense. Both Brady and my dad said separately that this was the best Fathers Day ever. I’m going to for sure say it was the best tasting Fathers Day ever!

Yup, we had bacon wrapped steak. It was Father’s Day!! We made a baked shrimp thing with small shrimp, tomatoes, green onions, cheese, sauce, and garlic, which it SUCH a treat and painfully easy. Stuffed potatoes with broccoli and cheese, and corn on the cob. Delish.

The older kids ate at the table with us, while Rowan entertained himself on his play mat.

After supper, we ate the dessert I made with Brady yesterday. And guys, I don’t mean to toot my own horn here (especially because this is definitely a recipe I found online) but this dessert was on for the record books. Or at least a recipe book. It was DELICIOUS!

This dessert had everything in it. Oreos, peanut butter cups, cream cheese, whipped cream, etc. So. Dang. Good.

A bit more playing with grandma and grandpas toys, and it was time to go. It was sad to leave, but the process of waving and joking through the window always helps. What a fabulous day.

And of course, last but not least AT ALL, happy Father’s Day to the father of my children. We love you, and all you do for us. I am confident that Rowan would thank you for all the nighttime bottles you feed him, Laela would thank you for learning how to put ponytails in her hair, and Dekker would thank you for wrestling with him and still being strong enough to carry him. And I thank you for raising these children with me, and hopefully more down the line. Thank you for working hard so I can stay home and watch their lives unfold, as many aren’t able to do. It has always been my dream, and you make it happen, Capt’n.

We love you!

<3 + <3 <3 <3