It’s hard being sick on vacation. I’m sure we’ve all been there. And I really just have a cold. I know I shouldn’t complain. But it’s hard being sick.
Brady’s been great. He made it possible for me to take two naps today! We swam at the pool nearby and played at the park. As usual, Dekker went down that slide over and over again, with one of his doting cousins at the bottom to make sure he made it down ok. Just the coolest kids in the world.
The fun sort of quit at supper. We went out for pizza and both kids were pretty on edge. We had considered not going but didn’t want to miss out! So we went and ended up leaving early 🙁 So. Much. Screaming. We came back to our suite and Dekker had a time out. We got them both comfortable and back down to earth and killed about an hour before there was no more holding them off.
Deks is tucked in and Laela is eating her last bottle. And of course, Dekker is chatting about his day all to himself, laughing away from his bed 🙂 I’m glad he’s feeling better! Hopefully the rest of us feel better soon too!

We have officially arrived at our destination, along with most of Bradys family. Sadly, not everyone could make it this time, but there is still a good group of us.

I don’t want to sugarcoat though. What we hoped would be a 5.5 hr drive turned into 8, and I was completely worn down by the end of it. The kids were actually pretty amazing, but the meltdowns they did have were big and dramatic and sad. We had a pretty short and broken up night last night, and I’ve picked up Bradys awful cold. So he and I are feeling under the weather, and the kids are overtired. I don’t want to complain, as I’m thrilled to be here with everyone! But I feel tired. Its ok. I only had one or two cries in the car.

That being said, though, the drive was beautiful. I haven’t seen the mountains up close in years and years, so I got a good fill of that. We listened to good music and watched the big bright skies as we weaved through the mountains. Dekker was thrilled with the landscapes and, more importantly, all the motorbikes. “Dekker likes bites. Bites come back!”

We got here around 6:30 or 7:00, I honestly don’t completely remember. We ate and visited a bit before putting the kids to bed. Dekker said he was tired and requested his jammies. That is pretty much unheard of around our house, so we took him up on it, and he happily cuddled into his hide-a-bed. Laela, on the other hand, doesn’t appreciate her playpen as much as we wish she did, so she had a good cry first. But they both went down, and we are now running a hot bath in our big soaker jacuzzi tub, anticipating our sleep in the big king bed. We have a beautiful suite, and lots of good plans for tomorrow.

Hopefully we’ll all wake feeling refreshed and ready to paint the town red!

I did a lot of that today. After my hair and chiropractic appointments this morning, I picked up the family and drove us halfway to our destination for this weekend. Five hours. Not so bad. It was a relatively meltdown free drive, which is something I am very thankful for! After a morning away, the quiet and uneventful trip was just what I needed for my sanity.
The morning was great, tho. I sat at the salon for two hours and came out with another new look. I feel like this one might be less popular than others I’ve come out with, but it feels amazing and I’m so happy that I’ll have it during summer 🙂

I often don’t take the full two hours allotted for a cut and color but today, for some reason, I did. So while I had planned to do a bit of shopping I between appointments, instead I rushed across the city, ducked into superstore for a few necessities for this weekend (children’s Tylenol, swim diapers, etc) and then made it to the chiropractor just in time. Dr mike always leaves me feeling better in my body and mind. As usual, his treatment was exactly what I needed, and he showered me with compliments on my new hair and glasses most of our visit. He also asked a bit about my history with brady and how we met. He really backed us up as a couple, saying we were both wonderful people who were obviously willing to put in the work that is needed to make a relationship function. I don’t know why, but I felt very encouraged by that. He doesn’t know us, and wouldn’t have to say anything like that, but it also doesn’t sound like something he’d say to everyone. It was really sweet.
After my appointment, I hit up old navy for some skinny long denim shorts, and then headed back home. Those few hours to myself were sooo nice and most definitely needed. They were healing.
Of course, having Dekker wail for a half hour before bedtime didn’t help with that one bit but he calmed right before it was time to go down and we could give hugs and kisses and loves. No one likes to go to bed with bad feelings.
We’re settled in with my brother and sister in law and their two boys now, just getting all the kidlets off to bed. Hopefully we get in a little bit of visiting before it’s time for us to hit the hay as well!
On that note, I am off! Sleep sweet.

I’ve said a few times over the last little while that I’m feeling the need to get away for a little while. As in, a few hours. Maybe a day. I’m feeling overwhelmed in my home. Going from having Brady home a lot to almost never is a big change for me, and is proving to be a bigger challenge than either of us thought it would be.

It would appear that I am not earning the mother of the day award. While I don’t earn it any day, really, today is a day I would be booed off the stage.

I am struggling.

I have yelled at both of my children today. I have punished Dekker more than I probably normally would. I cried when Dekker cried, in turn making Laela cry. So. Much. Whining. I feel like I’m going to scream at them. And I did. I never yell at my kids. Its a terrible feeling.

After I’ve yelled at Dekker and made him shake in fear and cry harder, he comes running at me and just hugs me. Poor boy has nowhere else to go for comfort. But it helps, because I feel sick to my stomach because of how I’ve shouted at him so loudly in his little soaked, snotty face.

Moments after a big explosion…

True love right here. I adore my kids. Please don’t judge me. I’m trying to be honest, and some days are really, really ugly. I’ve apologized to my children and put them down for a nap.

Now to breathe…

I’m feeling so very bored with myself recently. I know that I am further down my list than the other three in my family, as it should be, but I’m so boring!! I know its going to sound dumb or conceited or whatever, but I feel like I’m kind of at the top of my crocheting game. No, I can’t just sit down and make flawless sweaters or slippers off the top of my head. I can do a lot off the top of my head, I can understand patterns well, I know all the lingo and all the different versions of lingo. I’ve got it. And for the things I don’t know perfectly yet, there is YouTube. I feel sort of done with crocheting. Plus, its not as exciting anymore! SO many people crochet. Again, no, I certainly don’t take credit for the craze, but I’ve been crocheting for about fourteen years. So while I won’t stop crocheting or anything, I need something new.

I’ve had a lot of fun with makeup recently, and while I feel that is an especially fun outlet for me to learn something new and play with it, its an expensive “hobby.” My stash of products is building, slowly but surely, but I don’t think that can be my main thing. I’m thinking more along the lines of baking, or sewing (if I had a sewing machine…). Its hard to know!! I welcome ideas. Aaaaall ideas. Anything without a painfully expensive startup cost would be given extra points, as I’m bad for getting revved up about something and then not delivering. Help?

It would appear I’ll just continue being creative with my hair. Possibly changing it up again on Thursday… Yikes!

My mom came over this afternoon! Dekker raced upstairs to meet her and didn’t let her come downstairs to see Laela and I for a good long while. When I was finished feeding Miss L, we ventured upstairs to find them, where Dekker clearly wanted her to himself for a while. We made our way downstairs eventually and my kids pretty much ran my mom ragged until they went to bed a couple of hours later.

It was so nice to have some quiet time once they were down. We talked about work that needs to be done in both of our lives. My parents have a few jobs looming, while our tasks are more like doing big cleaning projects. Our bedroom is atrocious, for one thing. Now that Laela is out of our room, I’m anxious to get her cradle out too. The cradle stayed in our room for probably over a year after Dekker moved out. I don’t want that again. Plus, it is really easy to not nap the kids together if it doesn’t line up perfectly, and I don’t want t get back into that habit. So the cradle has to go. And the change table. And the HUGE mess! Our walk-in closet is also a large mess. I purged my clothes a while back in an effort to get rid of everything I genuinely don’t like or never wear. Apparently my style has changed!! Thats a fun comparison. Ready?

Current first. I bit serious, but I feel weirder smiling for selfies, to be honest.

And before!!! So different hey? And I swear, completely unintentional!!!

But I didn’t tidy anything else in there, and I needed to. Theres even still a big bag of clothes and garbage in the closet. Such a mess. Neeeeeds to be cleaned! I did the kids clothes though! It was heartbreaking to take out sooo much stuff that they’ve outgrown! Yet, they still have more than enough.

All of Laela’s stuff that doesn’t fit anymore…

And Dekkers. Sooo many little boy tshirts!

Yet we clearly aren’t going without! We are way too lucky to have so much.

My mom and I laid out the garden plan that we’ll hopefully put in sooner than later. We’re keeping it really basic so we can tend to it well without too much trouble. I’m glad to at least have it all written out. And I put together the music schedule for the next four months of church. Well, almost. Still trying to get a hold of a couple more people, but the longest part is over. The rest of the info I have to gather won’t make or break what I’ve already done. Yay!

With all of that, I’m tired. Its just about time for the kids to go to bed, and I’m blogging at the table as they play. I like having Laela up in a highchair now so we can all be on the same level. Not sure what took me so long!

Because three teeth in three weeks isn’t enough, Laela has popped yet another! Her four middle teeth have surfaced in less than four weeks 🙂 And she is a CHAMP! She got a little squawky, but was strapped into a car seat all afternoon, so she had every right. So proud of my little chomper.

A random anecdote I have to share is completely unrelated to today, but needs to be posted, as I should have posted it a couple of days back, but it slipped my mind. Just the other day, Laela was laying on the floor playing toys, and got a hold of a couple of Dekker’s prized toys – a bit truck and trailer. Dekker was very calm about it, but sneakily (or so he thought) moved the toys away from her. He didn’t take them to play with. Just moved them so she couldn’t. He sauntered on back to the table where he was playing before, and I very nonchalantly asked him “Did you just take all of Laela’s toys away.” He said he had, and I told him that wasn’t very nice. Without missing a beat, I said he needed to go say sorry to her. There’s an article floating around online about not so much telling your kids to say “sorry” but teaching them what being sorry really means. I’m 110% on board with that, having grown up with the same value. I remember once being told that saying “sorry” should be backed up with something like “I’ll try to do _____ next time so this doesn’t happen again.” Its a great lesson! However, I just said he should go apologize. Dekker approached her on one side and pushed his toy back within her reach. Then he squatted down right beside her head, got face to face with her, and said “Sorry La.” And then he went back to his toys. I couldn’t believe it! I mean, I totally can! I almost feel guilty that I’m amazed, as he is SUCH a tender heart.

Soon after that, once Laela got fed up with being on the floor, it was that time. Dekker is usually pretty upset when it comes to nap time, but as soon as he’s in his room, he is out. He never goes down crying. He is just disappointed to leave his toys. I get that. So I picked Laela up from her spot on the floor and said it was rest time. Dekker stood up from where he was playing and inquired “Detter’s rest time?” He had never asked such a question. Usually, a statement like mine would be met with a quick head shake and “Detter plays toys.” So I answered him very softly and carefully. “Yes, its your rest time too.” “Oh.” And up he went. No fussing. Climbed into his bed and waited patiently for me to help him with his glasses.

The moral of the story is that my kids are incredible and never cease to amaze me.  And they LOVE each other. Dekker wants to lay beside her and give her hugs. He is officially happier to see her in the morning than me. She smacks at him and he doesn’t get upset. She giggles simply when he enters the room. They just get each other.

Forgive my mommy brags. We’re all entitled to a bit of this, right?

I love my kids so much, but I love them even more now that they share a room, haha! On that note, kids are tucked away, and its finally time for Brady and I to eat supper. So. Hungry.

Last night was our first time putting Laela in Dekkers room for the night. I honestly think it went as well as could be expected. There are still some things to figure out, but for the most part, it was sooo nice! We had our room to ourselves and didn’t have to tiptoe around. We could watch shows on the laptop at volumes that actually made it possible to understand the words. It was great to be able to actually wind down at our own pace.

Dekker goes down at 8:00, and has for a while, so for the last several months, we’ve been putting him to bed, and then immediately afterwards, feeding Laela her bottle and putting her down. Dekker is great with us interrupting his naps, and sleeps through a lot of Laela’s daytime crying, so we figured it would be no problem to keep the same routine for now. So last night, we put him to bed, and brought Laela in after she had finished her bottle. It didn’t bother Deks at all. Totally seamless.

It was perfect until she rolled over. And over. She has a lot more space in her crib than she did in her cradle, and she figured it out pretty quick! I know a lot of people would say “Well, let her sleep on her tummy if she wants to!” Thats the thing, though. She really doesn’t want to! Even in everyday playtime, she finds herself on her tummy, and she just hates it! She can get back to her back, but often just gets so worked up and gives up, laying on her face, bawling her eyes out. Last night was no difference. A lot of people on Facebook suggested rolling up blankets and tucking them under the sheets to sort of shrink her available space. Of course, we forgot to do that and its kind of late, so hopefully we’ll remember to try that tomorrow night.

Lucky for us, Laela slept all through the night 🙂 It was a beautiful thing. She did, however, wake us at exactly 7:01 am, as usual. That is where I’m stuck. And I need everyone’s advice! (I know, gutsy, right?)

Laela happily sleeps from 8:30pm-7:00am. Dekker happily sleeps from 8:00pm-8:00am at least. I do take Laela out when she’s up, and Dekker hangs out in their room longer, but he doesn’t go back to sleep. Same thing at nap time. Laela has a nice long morning nap, and then they nap together from about 3-4:30. Dekker on his own would easily sleep another hour. I feel like I’m doing everything I can to get them on the same schedule, but it appears that Dekker needs his sleep more than Laela.

I have never seen Dekker drag like he did today. Don’t get me wrong! He was completely adorable and cuddly and wonderful. We had a totally lazy movie day, filled with cuddles unlike any other! But like, aaaaall day. He was exhausted. I’m not really sure what to do 🙁

These are the things I know to be true:

Dekker needs/wants more sleep than Laela does.
I don’t want Laela to think we will come running the second she makes a noise.
I don’t want to leave Laela awake and talking in their room too long, because it will wake Dekker.
Laela is awake for a good long stretch of time before bed.
Dekker is usually awake for less than two hours before bed.
I am at a loss.

So. Anyone? How do I get Laela to sleep longer in the morning, or for Dekker to get a longer nap somehow? It would be so weird if he, as an almost three year old, went back to two naps! But honestly, thats sort of how its looking :/ What do I dooooo?

This is all going to sound silly to probably every reader, but its the truth in our home so just bear with me!

Brady has had a bit of a lull in his work the last little while, and we’ve grown very accustomed to spending days together. I had help with the kids, Brady got to see the little ones way more, and we could go out for days to the city and get stuff done at our own pace. However, this month, we have been booked every single day. His work has been busier than it has been probably since Christmas. Every. Day. And that has been kind of a huge adjustment for me. Again, I know most people work every day, but its just a change for us. Today, Brady actually made it home an hour or two early, and we determined that we neeeeed time together!

So tonight is the night we are finally moving Laela out of our room! I hope she doesn’t read this one day and think we disliked her in any way. We don’t, sweetheart! But last night, she woke up to us draining the tub, and she wept and wept until we got her, let her cool off, fed her, and put her back down. All of a sudden she is the lightest sleeper in the world, and thats not ok. We need our time to wind down at the end of the day without living in fear of her waking.

The kidlets have been napping together for a few weeks now probably, and Laela can cry and fuss and talk and Dekker miraculously sleeps through the whole thing 😀 This gives me hope, thats for sure! I’m a bit nervous about the morning, as L wakes up much earlier than D, but who knows! Maybe being out of our room will help somehow? I don’t know. We’ll see.

I was hoping to wait until a night that would lead into a day we all had together, but Brady is off again to do some awesome volunteer work at Redberry Bible Camp, and helping finish up some projects and get the camp ready to go for the year. I’m in full support, but I’d also really love to have him around a touch more.

I guess we have to be adults. Sigh.

Sleep in peace, everyone. I’m sure hoping I’ll be in dreamland as well!

I mentioned on Facebook earlier today that Laela woke up with Brady at 4:50am. In normal conditions, if she wakes in the night, she kind of whines and talks a bit before falling back to sleep. No problem. However, with it being light out so much sooner, she was wide awake in no time. Before Brady left for the day, he brought a bottle into our room so I could feed Laela. Once she had a full tummy, she chatted for probably twenty minutes before falling back to sleep. Thanks to this random wake up call, the three of us remaining at home slept until around 9:00. It isn’t the kind of morning I hope for every day, but I didn’t mind the extra hour or two.

I won’t lie. I went into today with a pretty horrible attitude. Yesterday evening was quite awful for me, and this morning, I felt like I really needed to get away from my kids. I adore my children, don’t get me wrong. Maybe some of you are judging me, and thats ok, but I’m confident that the majority of parents out there have time when they just need a break. Unfortunately, this is not the month for me to get a break. We are busy pretty much every single day and we’re either all together, or I’m home with the kids alone. With those thoughts going through my head, plus the early morning, plus all the tears and poop, I just wasn’t up for today.

But as usual, I felt waaay better just shortly after I got up and got moving. I got myself a particularly strong coffee, washed my hair for the first time in who knows how long (as in I genuinely don’t know how long…), and put on a bit of makeup. Just a bit. I ate a good sized lunch and just tried to run with the day.

Laela’s whole schedule is thrown off for the day, regarding eating and sleeping times. I don’t care too much about schedules, but Dekker has us in a fairly rigid routine, haha! Plus, with the order we tend to run our day, the kids can nap together. Not today! I tried to just get over the whole thing and just rock the day as it comes. Laela won’t get the exact amount of milk she always gets, but she’ll get more probably, so who cares? She took her first nap much later than usual, so I was pretty positive the afternoon would be a stretch.

Yet I’m writing in the afternoon 🙂 Over nap time. Because somehow, they’re both napping right now! In the SAME ROOM! I”m so thrilled that its working out! I took a risk and put Laela down with Dekker, because it was definitely time for him to nap, but pretty early for her. But she talked a little, and then fell asleep. *shrugs* I’m sure not going to try and explain it, but I’m certainly thankful for it!

Again, this post sounded more complainy than I wanted. I’m just trying to be transparent in saying that I really felt that I needed to NOT be with my kids, and the day has turned around. However, with the strength of those feelings, I do think its something I’ll need to do at some point in the near future. Just taking a day away or something. But we did great this morning and afternoon!

Think of us this evening! Those are our rocky hours of the day lately, and I’d love for the day to finish better than yesterday 🙂